r/Millennials • u/Clint_Lovecraft • 11h ago
Meme Meme for the day.
Good ole Boomer logic. Have a good day y'all š
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u/I_Enjoy_Beer 10h ago
I like having kids, but I understand if people don't want to have them.Ā My brother isn't having kids and I appreciate his honest self-assessment that he'd be a shitty dad, because he would be.Ā Kids take a lot of self-sacrifice (if you're doing it right), and its ok, possibly even better, if people don't want to do that.
The problem is that the people who lack that awareness keep pumping out kids, who end up being shitty adults themselves.
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u/FindingAether 10h ago
I don't understand the mentality of people who insist everyone have kids.. heck... Those who have kids and want their bloodline to carry on should wish less people have kids. That way there is still a planet left for their progeny......
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u/ElChuloPicante 10h ago
I didnāt know anyone was still insisting on that. I hear/read a lot more about how itās irresponsible to have kids because the world is melting or turning fascist or running out of food or whatever apocalypse folks are wringing their hands over.
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u/wtfprawn 5h ago
I would be a great dad. I just donāt want them.
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u/Party_Government8579 4h ago
I feel the same about dogs. I'd be a great dog owner - but I don't want them. Cleaning up poo off grass for years? No thanks
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u/Whoa_Cool_Beans 10h ago
Yah, and they take the "volume approach" to child raising like they're Tudors. Gotta have an heir and a spare, and a spare, and a spare..
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u/midevildle 8h ago
I'd be a great mom, I just don't want to be.
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u/Party_Government8579 4h ago
I'd be a great dog owner, but I just don't want to be. They're annoying
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u/MrJoyless 7h ago
Fully 1/3 of my good friends are completely childless. Too fucking expensive, too fucking tired, too fucking difficult.
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u/DoringItBetterNow 10h ago
Do you think shitty parents can produce great kids?
Or is every parent the best the kid will ever be?
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u/CodyofHTown 10h ago
Shitty parents can definitely produce good humans. My parents were terrible. My life is astronomically better than theirs were at my age. By just looking at their bad decisions and deciding I would do better.
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u/SkiingAway 6h ago
Good parents can wind up with shitty kids, shitty parents can wind up with good kids.
However, good parents and stable homes significantly weight the odds to the better side. The opposite weights the odds to the worse side.
Beyond that, just because someone manages to claw their way against the odds into being a decent person as an adult doesn't mean that they deserve to have had to grow up in a horrible, abusive, traumatic household and to often have wound up with issues from that that they struggle with long-term.
No one deserves that upbringing, and virtually everyone I know who had one that managed to make something of their life agrees their parents shouldn't have had kids (and usually have a sibling or multiple siblings who didn't make anything but misery/pain/problems for others with their own lives).
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u/thedrunkautist 11h ago edited 11h ago
41, married, childless by choice. We like having money to do fun things, and zero desire to leave a ālegacyā of little ones.
Seriously considered having kids when I was younger, but priorities change as you get older. My wife and I joke that we are the childless couple from the start of Idiocracy.
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u/NightLightHighLight 10h ago
I always find it funny when people have kids just to leave behind a ālegacyā and continue their ābloodlineā
Like bro, you work a 9-5, what legacy? One of mediocrity?
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u/Paola92126 2h ago
I love my hypothetical children too much to have them be born into this āworking to surviveā world. What do you mean I have to exchange my time and body to a corporation for essentials to live? Working to pay for the therapy and medication for depression/anxiety that I need to continue working and appearing functional?
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u/TrailsideDairy 10h ago
I will say, sad reality that one of the deciding factors was money. So real but shouldnāt be the case for anyone in a good relationship.
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u/Pale_Boss_8940 11h ago
I donāt think people should have kids if they donāt want to. You do you. But why do people think us parents have no money to do fun things lmao
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u/Poethegardencrow 10h ago edited 10h ago
I think it mostly comes from adults today, who grew up in poverty and donāt want that sort of money problems for their childrenā¦even if they make good money now- they are worried if anything happen and they canāt take their children for holidays or buy them whatever they want or so on.. I donāt have financial problems I own a home and have a good pay butā¦ I sometimes wonder how do my neighbours do it in this economy- I mean my parents gave me the down payment for my house š
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u/Hookedongutes 10h ago
Same. Lol I personally wasnt going to have kids if I couldnt afford them. I have a son, and I have financial stability. We can have both. š
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u/Arkayjiya 6h ago
We like having money to do fun things
I don't see any implication here that no parents has money for fun thing, the clear implication is that they personally wouldn't have enough money for the fun things they like.
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u/Somewhere-A-Judge 9h ago
I mean, mathematically speaking you do have less money to do fun things than you otherwise would.
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u/HouseplantHoarding 10h ago
Are you joking? Have you been blind/deaf to all the parents who complain? I have been told my whole life āWhen you have kids, your life is OVER!ā There are tons of parents that hop online to bitch and moan about everything they sacrificed to have kids.
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u/chief_beef_the_third 10h ago
Maybe it's your circle. All my fellow millennial parents love their kids deeply. We post on social media 24/7 about all the great things our kids do. Frankly, at times it can feel like an unspoken competition of who is doing the most for their kids.
But I will say, parenting is an exhausting job and a shared experience, so it's natural that parents will vent. I know plenty of childless couples with high-stress jobs and they complain about their work, clients, bosses, co-workers, etc. They say things like, "Man, I should have become a painter," even though they have gobs of money and take two childless vacations a year. Stress is still stress.
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u/Hookedongutes 10h ago
That's bexause it's easy to quantify the hard parts and that's a very LOUD minority. People who love their kids and don't regret being parents aren't interesting to listen to or read about.
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u/Pale_Boss_8940 10h ago edited 10h ago
I think itās this too. At work no one wants to hear about how much I love my kids. But if I say Iām tired everyone can relate to being tired. Complaining is seen as more socially acceptable than seeming like youre bragging
I basically only talk about how much I love it to other parents
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u/panna__cotta 10h ago
You are your algorithm.
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u/HouseplantHoarding 9h ago
Literally heard this growing up in the 90s before āalgoā was even a thing.
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u/Equivalent-Battle973 91 Millennial 6h ago
āWhen you have kids, your life is OVER!ā
Because this part is just blatantly false, pushed out by a loud minority of parents who hate their kids... Is it harder to do the things I did before kids? SURE, but over? fuck no, my life has only gotten better since having my sons.
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u/Pale_Boss_8940 10h ago
yea I donāt listen to misery porn algorithms lol. Most of my friends have kids at this point and none of them are like that. Theyre loving it
like I said, if someone doesnāt want to have kids thatās fine. Just donāt make us all out to be broke and miserable to make yourself feel better. It just comes across as a major cope
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u/HouseplantHoarding 9h ago
I grew up before the internet and people were saying it back then. It is not an algo thing.
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u/1877KlownsForKids "Get Off My Lawn" Millennial 1981 11h ago
Same. My surname came from Ireland to America in 1849 and promptly popped out 13 kids. Through a combination of marriage, war, priesthood, farm accidents, and general Irish drunkenness I'm the only living male with that surname out of probably close to a thousand descendants. I have only girls.
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u/GrizzlyP33 11h ago
Sounds like your bloodline is fine, just your surname is on the way out.
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u/WileyPap 10h ago
I have only girls. But our surname is cool and they like it so... if their SO's don't have good last names they better have brothers to carry the burden. My kids aren't gonna be up for swapping their maiden name for Shittlegranger or whatever
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u/A-Halfpound 8h ago
Fun fact: his girls DO NOT have to change their last names!Ā
So if children are had, the child could use their mothers last name, especially of out of wedlock!
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u/AlbacoreDumbleberg 9h ago
If you look at my family tree, one set of my grandparents had two kids; they each had two kids, who are now in their 30s and 40s, and there's only one child between us. No more are planned. If you expand my tree more, it's just more of the same. Outside of the Gen X ones, most of my second cousins have no children either. There's just 1 other child amongst the millennials and older Gen Z. Two total children out of a dozen people (plus spouses/partners) all in their 30s and 40s.
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u/Commercial_Tip4624 11h ago
Well, mitochondrial DNA descends through females, so if you had only sons, your deepest coding would be gone forever after they died.
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u/No_Contact_1231 4h ago
I mean he's a dude so he's not passing on any mitochondrial DNA anyway right?Ā
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u/SnooSprouts4952 10h ago
End of my surname as well. š«”
Been here since before the birth of the US and couldn't squirt out a son.
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u/RedLotusVenom 7h ago
Iām also the only son of an only son with a very forgotten surname. Name dies with me and my sister. No kids for us.
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u/covidlung 9h ago
It's 2026. Women can give their children their last name and even keep their last names after marriage.
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u/Vantriss 7h ago
You just made me realize my maiden name dies out with my dad and uncle. My aunt clearly isn't passing it on. My uncle never had kids, and my dad only had me, a woman, and I don't plan on having kids. I suppose there ARE other distant branches of our family carrying it on, but our particular branch is going the way of the dinosaurs.
It's fine. I don't want my kids/grandkids, etc fighting in the water wars anyway.
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u/ChronicBuzz187 10h ago
Boomers: "Who's gonna pay for our retirement if y'all don't have kids?!"
Millenials:
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u/spartanburt 9h ago
Their retirement is already paid for.Ā It's us who has to worry about that.
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u/MrTerribleArtist Millennial 9h ago
I dont intend on making it that long
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u/descendantofJanus 9h ago
At this point I just hope to outlive my cats. After that... Man idek
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u/Check_Me_Out-Boss 9h ago
I almost had an easy out earlier this year, but the damn surgeons fixed my heart lol
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u/MrTerribleArtist Millennial 8h ago
Don't worry man we'll all make it
Or, no wait, none of us are going to make it?
Uhh..
I'll get back to you
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u/Clint_Lovecraft 8h ago
No shit there. I tell my Boomer mother (who is awesome and not your "typical" Boomer) that social security won't be there for me. Imma have to work until I die.
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u/FreshPeeshes 9h ago
Nah because my retirement plan is to do like Mario's brother and do the world a net positive before checking out. No kids to feel guilty leaving like that.
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u/SPARKYLOBO 9h ago
Remember that some boomers also hate the immigrants who are paying into a social security system that will never be given to said immigrants.
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u/The_Arbitraitor 10h ago
For people with kids, thanks for carrying on the human species. But Iām going to sit this one out.
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u/ILoveBigCoffeeCups 10h ago
Iām more like a āthis show is cancelled and we all know it so we know the series last season will probably suckā
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u/CowHorn09 10h ago
That's sad. I'm 38 and can feel it's so over for me. I had dreams of a house and wife and kids but let's be real
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u/TrailsideDairy 10h ago
Iām 34 and in the same boat but will say this, there are women that feel the same. She exists, sheās just working her job like you, sheās busy taking care of herself. I hope you find her, I hope she finds you. Iāve realized that itās always easier to say nothing when you see a prospect in public, I never say anything because some women react so mean to such an innocent question like ācan I get your number?ā But Iāve learned, fortune favors the bold, and if you want something, sometimes it has to get uncomfortable to get there.
Also, side note, dating apps are a fucking joke and a waste of energy.
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u/Theseactuallydo 9h ago
Found my amazing wife via a dating app.Ā
I know lots of people have bad experiences with them, but for me I realized in my 30s that IRL opportunities to meet people were tougher to find, so I signed up and started swiping. 3 months and a handful of first dates later I was in an exclusive relationship with a great lady and a couple years later we were married.Ā
The quality of my competition on the apps was trash though. Like, Iām a pretty average guy all things considered, but compared to most men on the apps Iām a total catch. A tiny bit of actual effort for a dude on the apps goes a long way when most guys there arenāt trying at all.
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u/atlasaur Gen Z (barely) 9h ago
What do you think set you apart from the competition on the apps? Specifics?
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u/Theseactuallydo 9h ago
Being interested in turning a match into a date. From what my now-wife and other dates showed me or related from their experience, a huge chunk of men are just swiping yes on everyone and then barely interacting if they match.
Being normal and kind. So many guys canāt get out of their own way with weird/mean behaviour. Yes, this means if you have certain extreme and radical political views you might have to moderate them to have a healthy romantic life.
Taking care of basic grooming. Whatever your style is, your hair, facial hair, clothing choices, etc should look intentional and maintained.Ā
Take the profile seriously too. Guys who act like itās too much work to make a decent profile miss out on all the women who might have been interested in them but had nothing to go on from the profile.
This seems like basic stuff but most guys on the apps are gross weirdos with bad attitudes and incomplete profiles, from what I saw.Ā
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u/ParticularHistoryo 8h ago
Thanks for the real and good advice, now I just gotta find the energy to do that shit
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u/atlasaur Gen Z (barely) 8h ago
Common sense isnāt too common! Thanks for the thoughtful response.
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u/Lobotamite 9h ago edited 7h ago
Shifting your mindset away from viewing women as āprospectsā and that the best method is just to approach and ask for phone numbers might help you more than anything. Youāre objectifying and putting them on a pedestal that is easy to ascertain from their perspective.
You donāt find love by just going and asking every attractive woman for their number or to date you, you find it by being around people and being yourself, building friendships and showing others what your true character is.
You are not unloveable and there are people out there that would love to be with you, but not when your mindset is clouded by self pity and misogyny.
Edit: Lotta people further confirming my comment in these replies. I used to be in the exact same position as a lot of you, I know itās hard to see through the veil but just try to keep in mind that some of your opinions MIGHT be wrong and you will change them. Growth and reflection is a healthy part of life that potential partners naturally seek.
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u/TrailsideDairy 9h ago
What?? This sounds like some shit they would tell you at one of those āalpha maleā schools šThatās just the word I used. You took this a whole different direction, Iām not in a world of self pity at all š Iām 1000% the best self I have ever been. I know my worth, i work hard and show compassion and respect to people. I simply used the word āprospectā as someone they might find attractive.
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u/Bored_pats_fan 9h ago
I am with you. There was not anything remotely misogynistic about what you wrote. Referring to a woman as a potential dating prospect is perfectly fine. Nothing in your post indicates that you are just randomly going up to every attractive women you see to ask for their number.
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u/SausagePrompts 3h ago
There's still time to have a house, an ex wife and kids!
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u/Paola92126 2h ago
Plus thereās the whole insta-family that may pop up with step-kids. There is hope. šš½ā¤ļø
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u/BeigeGraffiti Xennial 1h ago
Make enough money, move overseas and start a family in your 50s. Itās ok.
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u/schw4161 9h ago
Me too buddy. Played the wrong cards when I was in my early 20ās and have payed for it since. Still constantly playing catchup with the rest of society and donāt have the time or energy to devote to any of these things. Itās for the better though. If I brought a kid into this world Iād get some satisfaction, but I donāt think itād be a good situation for them so I wonāt unless something drastic changes in my life.
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u/greencrusader13 10h ago
Some days I feel like an unlovable loser whoās going to die alone. I hope Iām wrong, but itās hard to block out those thoughts.Ā
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u/Clint_Lovecraft 10h ago
Fellow loser, welcome š¤
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u/slothl0rdd 5h ago
Yāall, donāt lose hope! We still have robot wives on the table!!! š„¹
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u/flargenhargen 8h ago
Some days I feel like an unlovable loser whoās going to die alone.
oh don't worry about that.
The odds are that AI going to kill all of us in a big group within 10 years or so.
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u/subpar-life-attempt 7h ago edited 6h ago
Dude my dad had me at 52. Trust me it's not over.
I'm 35 for reference and my dad made it to 90.
You got a lot of life left.
Edit: 57. Jesus I forgot how old he was.
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u/AvaryZig 7h ago edited 6h ago
That's like, super risky for the kid. Each year after 40 is an increasing gamble.
Edit: just noticed the username
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u/IcedGooseMaverick 6h ago
Well, they can make comments on Reddit. What more do you need?
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u/DulceEtDecorumEst 6h ago
Bros Dad: sometimes you gotta roll a hard six on them chromosomesĀ
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u/subpar-life-attempt 1h ago
Not gonna like, this is acccurate, my brothers were much older and both are dumb as rocks so for some reason he was backwards with the chromies.
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u/subpar-life-attempt 6h ago
My mom was like 42 or 43. They met much later in life. It was years ago but that has since seen a reduction. Most people arent having kids until later in their 20s or 30s now.
I'm a college grad with a house (got lucky during covid and used our marriage fund to pay for down payment instead of a weeding) and paid off car and somehow not autistic so I guess that works? My dad also instilled in me to avoid bad debt at all possible so that helped.
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u/AphroditeBinLaden 5h ago
I was curious about the risk here, and after a quick Google I think it's safe to say that "while the relative risk increases, the overall absolute risk for any individual child remains relatively low."
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u/AtensEye 8h ago
I turned 44 last month and even though I could have kids (I'm a woman) I don't think having them now would be a good idea. I know friends who have, either through IVF or just pure luck, but both my slightly older partner and I have just said nah. It's sad, because we both wanted to get to that point, but we still can't afford our own home, we live in a place where the rent is ridiculously high across the board, general living costs keep going up and wages are stagnant that even job hopping doesn't help. Unless something changes economically, I think we're going to see a lot of Gen Z in the same, if not worse boat.
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u/SnorFax92 10h ago
I'm 34 and slowly coming to terms with that same realization. Eh... I guess it wasn't in the cards for us. Sad but hey.
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u/Throwcore2 9h ago
Im 34 and been alone my entire life save for a 3month relationship. Im too scared to try online dating again. Feels like the older I get the more women expect and the ultra wierder my situation will be.
I most definitely did not picture it going this way when I was younger.
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u/keithstonee 9h ago
Yea I'm 36 and it feels like COVID sealed the deal. Everything feels broken. Also everyone in public really looks like they never want to be approached (I get it) so meeting people seems fucked. Everyone's so fake polite and dead behind the eyes.
Life really was different before COVID.
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u/_Sneaky_McSnek_ 9h ago
Man, I have 4 and Iām the sole income of the house, that being less than $100k. If you REALLY want it, itās possible. It might take something as life changing as moving to a lower cost area/state and sacrificing a lot of luxuries but there are still places and ways where you can reasonably raise a family and enjoy life.
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u/Slacker_The_Dog 8h ago
We have two incomes and also are making less than 100k a year. We have two kids who are well fed and insured, we own our own place, we take a vacation every year. The main thing keeping some of my peers down is they all have two vehicles that are newer and they all pay for childcare.
We have one vehicle that is reliable, low mileage and clean, but it's older. We also have an alternating schedule so there is always an adult to watch the youngest because he isn't in school yet.
It is definitely possible but you will be going without all the flashy new stuff all the time. Oh this is in Fargo if anyone is curious. About 6% lower than the national average COL.
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u/hurley_chisholm Millennial 7h ago
Fargo, North Dakota being only 6% below the national average COL is wild to me. Debunks the idea that living in the āflyover statesā is dramatically less expensive and somehow a cure for all financial woes.
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u/Rough-Board1218 53m ago
The new American dream is to save up enough money to go live somewhere else that's affordable
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u/kewlnamebroh Millennial 8h ago
I just turned 39 this month; had my first son in February. I felt exactly the same way (felt it was over, I'd never have this) until I met my girlfriend (now baby mama, for sure someday wife) at work.
It was out of left field, from the void, a plot twist. My life completely changed in a few months and I never saw it coming. You never know, my dude. Don't let your hopes perish.
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u/Square-Chart6059 11h ago
Iām doing ok on my pay, but a child would be a one way trip to poverty
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u/GiraffesAndGin 11h ago
My brother already continued the bloodline. Boys too. So, I'm off the hook.
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u/Spiritualy_Homelesss 11h ago
Lmfao my take. I've got 3 siblings all in committed relationships. Any day now I'll be free of the obligation (not that I'd fulfill it anyway).
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u/ExIsStalkingMe 5h ago
My sister is continuing the bloodline. My dad has, I think, finally come to grips that the name dies with me, though
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u/Flashy-Natural6545 9h ago
World is no longer a place I want to bring a human life into.
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u/keithstonee 9h ago
I just say now I'm looking for a partner to suffer the rest of life with. At least let's suffer together.
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u/Flashy-Natural6545 9h ago
I hope you find your person to suffer through with! I luckily found mine a couple years ago, and been suffering together, but it feels like sucky when you find them.
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u/spiritplumber 10h ago
abusive parents. i get that they want grandkids. maybe they should've allowed me the time and space to learn to be a good parent. i'd rather not have a kid and abuse them
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u/Prize_Ostrich7605 11h ago
I just see this as confirmation, I am Ryan Gosling happily feeling the surge of an incoming flash flood against my hand. I guess that was the problem with making our heroes die victoriously in the end.Ā
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u/orionsfyre 11h ago
A lot of us definitely want to be Ryan Gosling... you know what... we are all Ryan Gosling.
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u/throwawaylexluther 10h ago
I got a vasectomy in my mid 20s. This was šÆ a choice I made a long time ago and one I don't regret.
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u/Best_Cobbler_3719 10h ago
I have 6 biospawn via egg donation. I made $10k a pop.
Livin' that millenial dream - selling my genetic material to survive so other people can raise children I could never afford!
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u/theycallmefagg 10h ago
God bless Iād donate every last egg of mine if I could.
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u/Best_Cobbler_3719 10h ago
My sociology professor told me (in 2004) that it cost a minimum $1,000,000 dollars to raise a child through college/trade school in the USA.Ā
My hope died before I could drink in bars.Ā
I'm happy to have helped the families (3 - one set of twins, two sets of siblings that used my egg once with each dad in a gay couple, yay! All two-dad families.).
But fuck the system that made THIS how I had to pass on my genetics.Ā
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u/GailynStarfire 10h ago
How could you subject your bio kids to that? The level of cringe they will feel from having two dads, and therefore twice the number of dad jokes? They will end up slipping into comas from the contant groaning!
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u/RowForLuckyJack 10h ago
Meanwhile my fertilizers don't work. I'm going extinct whether I want to or not.
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u/TheYellowFringe 11h ago
I don't like it that some treat being childless as the end of everything.
A legacy can be a whole lot of things. Teach others, help others, love others.
Then you'll be remembered after you're gone with a deep respect by those who knew you.
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u/bluefishcrab 10h ago
It's gotten so bad that even my parents don't want to talk about the economy anymore. They have been one of the "just work harder" group.
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u/Slow_Savings4489 11h ago
Will be a dad myself in a few weeks. Very excited. World might suck, but that is only because it hasn't met my daughter yet.
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u/CementCemetery 7h ago
Thatās a lovely outlook, I think youāre going to be a great dad. Remember to listen to her and set the best example of what a man should be like to her.
Wishing you both happiness, health and a lifetime of memories together.
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u/JoinAThang 10h ago
My daughter is four now and for me it has only been an absolute delight to have a her in my life.
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u/LifePlusTax 10h ago
I love this! My daughter is nine, and dear god, her and her friends are something else. Gen Alpha is going to change the world
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u/Several-Action-4043 9h ago
My brother had 4 boys. Now, instead of my mom saying, "When are you going to get married and have kids?" When i see her. She says, "I just want you to be happy." Instead lol.
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u/Reasonable___Doubt 10h ago
First date with my wife, we shook hands and joined "Team No Baby." Now it's been sixteen years, we're an amazing aunt and uncle team, own our home, have good jobs, go on vacation, and never once regretted it.
Fuck bloodlines.
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u/Delicious-Laugh-6685 Millennial 11h ago
38, only son of my parents, and child free by choice. Ā This curse ends with me.
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u/MadDaddyDrivesaUFO 9h ago
I'm childfree by choice and my only biological cousin on my dad's side is gay and uninterested in doing what he'd need to do to start a family so it's ending for us too
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u/Bathion Millennial 10h ago
It really hurts to hear so many of us just ... can't be the parents we want
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u/Big_Crab_1510 10h ago
When America did nothing after Sandy Hook is when I really felt like I shouldn't have kids.
Then it just kept getting worse. Between school shooter drills, forcing people into college debt to maybe get a job, social media, no safe places to just be a kid for free, etc etc....
Yea no. I can't even afford healthcare for myself, imagine if I have a special needs kid.
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u/Bathion Millennial 9h ago
I've struggle bussed myself for far too long. 18 years of "Paying my dues" and finally broke that cycle. But that was less than a two years ago. It's crazy how once you are on the winning side of the financial equation live is nice. Then I do the calculations and realize I make what my grandad made with a 6th grade education...
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u/OhHesThatGuy 1985 10h ago
Cheers to the fellow line-enders. I have a nephew, so technically the line is continued, but heās my sisterās kid, so the name goes with me
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u/Check_Me_Out-Boss 9h ago
My siblings have a combined total of 6 kids, all girls lol
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u/McBlemmen 5h ago
This was the post right below this one in my feed, and i cant help but feel like theyre related.
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u/womb_raider90 11h ago
Out of my brother and sister I'm the only one with an only boy that'll carry on my last name. It sucks but at the same time, it's awesome.
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u/Aggravating_Ad7684 11h ago
Theres no better way then double income no kids, and i have kids
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u/a-type-of-pastry 11h ago
I continued the bloodline accidentally. Whoops. Love the kid though, he's a great kid.
If I hadn't had a kid though, I have 4 siblings, and two of them have more than 3 kids. So the bloodline lives on.
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u/scheifferdoo 11h ago
the whole bloodline thing is weird because often it just means that you are the end of the series of hybrids between two strangers. i look at my family, and I see that 4-5 of my cousins (on either side) are carrying on the same bloodline as my grandfather or grandmother, and im not all that salty that its my also got some of some other people in it. my parents were not a good match and getting super precious about their hyrbids feels kinda weird.
TLDR: the world is my family
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u/whatsnextwithus 10h ago
Child free by choice is RIGHT!!!!
Weāre living our best lives out here!
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u/ChoiceContribution78 Millennial 11h ago
Love being childfree by choice š you want kids and have them, then fabulous, but leave us childfree millennials alone to enjoy the end of our lineages in peace āØ
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u/Vegetable_Warthog_49 9h ago
More like, "I'm the encore to a bloodline that should have ended with you."
I love my husband and my son. That doesn't stop me from recognizing that I'd have been better off never being born and that my mother would probably have been better off if I had never been born. Like so many boomer parents, she didn't want a child, she wanted a fashion accessory. Hell, my mother once confessed that one of the strongest reasons that she had for wanting to have a child when she had me was just to prove she could. Her first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage, and while she may have had some noble intention on the first and even second pregnancy (on top of her desire to have a little fashion accessory), by the time she got to me, it was entirely about proving that she could produce the same fashion accessory all her friends (and her siblings, I think that might have been the bigger motivator for her, she has always been competitive with her siblings). She never even should have tried to get pregnant, she knew it was incredibly high risk, she nearly miscarried once and frankly I was so premature (7 weeks, which I know now isn't that remarkable, in 1986 it was considered a miracle for a baby that premature to survive) that we might be able to say she nearly miscarried twice, with me surviving both times. I've had lifelong complications because of how poorly the pregnancy and delivery of me went. My parents had the money that they could have adopted or even used a surrogate, but in 1986 surrogacy was still done using the surrogate mother's egg (how times have changed, legally you can't even call it a surrogacy anymore if the surrogate has any genetic relationship to the child, an egg from the child's mother or an unrelated third party donor egg must be used now, with the surrogate acting as nothing more than a place for the fertilized embreo to gestate, that is both really impressive and really dystopian). My mother wasn't going to accept a child that wasn't "hers". Her friends and her siblings had "real" children and not adoptive or step children (which is what I would be biologically in a surrogacy of the time period), she wanted one too.
So yeah, I'm an encore to a bloodline that should have ended. If my mother had actually wanted a child because she wanted to love and raise a child, my parents would have gone the route of adoption. Instead she wanted a participation trophy for breeding. Maybe that's why I was so calm about finding out that the woman who offered to be our legally not a surrogate (we couldn't afford a legal surrogacy, but we had a friend who was willing to use in-utero fertilization, or as it is more crudely referred to, the "turkey baster method", though no turkey basters are involved, so long as we paid all the medical bills) might have accidentally gotten pregnant with another man instead of with one of the treatments using my semen. We had all agreed she could continue having sex so long as condoms were properly used, and one broke, and it was within days of her doing one of the IUF treatments, and one of those two is what got her pregnant. Honestly, a 50/50 chance my son isn't 50% of my genetics also means a 50/50 chance that he isn't 25% of my mother's genetics. So I guess 50% chance I made good on the millennial promise of ending my bloodline.
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u/40cappo40 9h ago
I am sure my parents are happy my brother has kids and one is a boy to keep the name going, cause I sure as fuck am not going to.
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u/MagicTrachea52 9h ago
I'd be a great dad.
But I don't want kids. I have other things I've found I want to do.
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u/Mysterious_Sound2765 11h ago
My crappy parents thinking they got the last laugh. Meanwhile, I have a death grip on their lineage, and I am not letting go.
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u/PaleTown9860 8h ago
Iām american. Iām waiting to see if i would ever want to send my child into this world.
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u/Used_Calligrapher162 10h ago
Yep! Almost 40 and ZERO kids lol canāt afford myself with this economy and NO I canāt get a house and WASNT GIVEN my parents paid off house like my peers
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u/Fart_Frog 10h ago edited 4h ago
Yeah son. Four grandparents. Zero great-grandkids ever. Thatās how you save the planet.
Edit: great grandkids not grandkids
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u/OnlyACsNoFans 10h ago
I feel like there's a huge disconnect between older and younger millennials. Most of us older ones already have all that
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u/PiePristine3092 10h ago
I don't get this sub. Lighthearted 'boomer' jokes about getting old get downvoted. But Doomer jokes like this get 1000 upvotes.
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u/Pale_Boss_8940 10h ago
this sub is just a depression circlejerk 90% of the time
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u/Adorable_Egg1573 9h ago
Reddit isnt real life - this is where the sad sacks of mostly the US come to gather
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u/projectx51 Xennial - 1984 11h ago
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u/toastedmarsh7 11h ago
Didnāt he just have his first kid at like 53 after spending decades saying he didnāt want kids?
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u/leekalex 10h ago
Probably had something to do with what his new younger wife wanted
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u/orionsfyre 11h ago edited 11h ago
I feel like Millennials are the first generation in a long time to not feel the pressure to procreate and "keep the name going".
Our progenitors the boomers and gen-x folks really mucked things up, made conditions so much worse for raising kids, didn't address many of the problems that we are saddled with, and are now turning to us for help in their old age... far more than previous generations.
Because of that, a lot of us are content to live out our lives on the single bus, or with one other person until the sun burns us all to a crisp. Adding more children to this world is not something that has to happen.
ā¢
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