r/Millennials • u/Clint_Lovecraft • 12h ago

Meme Meme for the day.

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Good ole Boomer logic. Have a good day y'all šŸ˜

9.9k Upvotes

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124

u/CowHorn09 11h ago

That's sad. I'm 38 and can feel it's so over for me. I had dreams of a house and wife and kids but let's be real

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u/TrailsideDairy 11h ago

Iā€™m 34 and in the same boat but will say this, there are women that feel the same. She exists, sheā€™s just working her job like you, sheā€™s busy taking care of herself. I hope you find her, I hope she finds you. Iā€™ve realized that itā€™s always easier to say nothing when you see a prospect in public, I never say anything because some women react so mean to such an innocent question like ā€œcan I get your number?ā€ But Iā€™ve learned, fortune favors the bold, and if you want something, sometimes it has to get uncomfortable to get there.

Also, side note, dating apps are a fucking joke and a waste of energy.

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u/Theseactuallydo 10h ago

Found my amazing wife via a dating app.Ā 

I know lots of people have bad experiences with them, but for me I realized in my 30s that IRL opportunities to meet people were tougher to find, so I signed up and started swiping. 3 months and a handful of first dates later I was in an exclusive relationship with a great lady and a couple years later we were married.Ā 

The quality of my competition on the apps was trash though. Like, Iā€™m a pretty average guy all things considered, but compared to most men on the apps Iā€™m a total catch. A tiny bit of actual effort for a dude on the apps goes a long way when most guys there arenā€™t trying at all.

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u/atlasaur Gen Z (barely) 10h ago

What do you think set you apart from the competition on the apps? Specifics?

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u/Theseactuallydo 10h ago

Being interested in turning a match into a date. From what my now-wife and other dates showed me or related from their experience, a huge chunk of men are just swiping yes on everyone and then barely interacting if they match.

Being normal and kind. So many guys canā€™t get out of their own way with weird/mean behaviour. Yes, this means if you have certain extreme and radical political views you might have to moderate them to have a healthy romantic life.

Taking care of basic grooming. Whatever your style is, your hair, facial hair, clothing choices, etc should look intentional and maintained.Ā 

Take the profile seriously too. Guys who act like itā€™s too much work to make a decent profile miss out on all the women who might have been interested in them but had nothing to go on from the profile.

This seems like basic stuff but most guys on the apps are gross weirdos with bad attitudes and incomplete profiles, from what I saw.Ā 

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u/ParticularHistoryo 9h ago

Thanks for the real and good advice, now I just gotta find the energy to do that shit

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u/atlasaur Gen Z (barely) 8h ago

Common sense isnā€™t too common! Thanks for the thoughtful response.

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u/TrailsideDairy 10h ago

Thatā€™s fair, I know people that have met there someone on dating apps, but it wasnā€™t fun for them on the journey there. One of the issues is some people (myself being one of them) are terrible at marketing themselves. Like Iā€™m fully happy and at peace with myself. But itā€™s difficult to portray that in a single photo as they swipe by.

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u/Theseactuallydo 9h ago

Different strengths for different people.Ā 

Iā€™m awful at picking up flirting hints in-person. So real life interactions with people I was into were always just confusing and disappointing.

But when I know someone has that initial interest in me, as a match on the apps indicates, then Iā€™m totally fine flirting and maybe Iā€™m even a little charming.Ā 

For me getting past the ā€œis she interested or am I misreading her intentā€ phase was the major hurdle in dating. With apps to remove that barrier my dating life blew up (and then quickly settled down again when I met my now-wife).

ā€¢

u/Grumbles2189 33m ago

Bad dates aren't exclusive to people meeting on dating apps. One of the worst dates I ever went on was with a friend of mine's girlfriend's best friends. It was awful.

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u/SnorFax92 10h ago

Lovely way to look at it.

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u/Lobotamite 10h ago edited 8h ago

Shifting your mindset away from viewing women as ā€œprospectsā€ and that the best method is just to approach and ask for phone numbers might help you more than anything. Youā€™re objectifying and putting them on a pedestal that is easy to ascertain from their perspective.

You donā€™t find love by just going and asking every attractive woman for their number or to date you, you find it by being around people and being yourself, building friendships and showing others what your true character is.

You are not unloveable and there are people out there that would love to be with you, but not when your mindset is clouded by self pity and misogyny.

Edit: Lotta people further confirming my comment in these replies. I used to be in the exact same position as a lot of you, I know itā€™s hard to see through the veil but just try to keep in mind that some of your opinions MIGHT be wrong and you will change them. Growth and reflection is a healthy part of life that potential partners naturally seek.

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u/TrailsideDairy 10h ago

What?? This sounds like some shit they would tell you at one of those ā€œalpha maleā€ schools šŸ˜‚Thatā€™s just the word I used. You took this a whole different direction, Iā€™m not in a world of self pity at all šŸ˜‚ Iā€™m 1000% the best self I have ever been. I know my worth, i work hard and show compassion and respect to people. I simply used the word ā€œprospectā€ as someone they might find attractive.

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u/Bored_pats_fan 10h ago

I am with you. There was not anything remotely misogynistic about what you wrote. Referring to a woman as a potential dating prospect is perfectly fine. Nothing in your post indicates that you are just randomly going up to every attractive women you see to ask for their number.

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u/TrailsideDairy 9h ago

Thank you

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u/LysonsCornerP226 9h ago

Just ignore that shit.

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u/techleopard 9h ago

"Just be yourself!" is definitely advice from an attractive person, lmfao. And I say this as someone who is VEHEMENTLY against the "loneliness epidemic" and incel men who spend a lot of their time being forlorn online.

I think it's very realistic to acknowledge that many of us (man and women) are not married by now because we have simply not been available or able to get into the dating pool.

Just having people approach you in common settings like the workplace or JUST being a good person or being involved in things like church or hobbies is NOT enough unless you're pretty or handsome enough to get the attention of somebody else who happens to also be outgoing, nor will you get people in these spaces to agree to a date unless you're attractive enough to compensate for the "I don't want to potentially bring drama into this part of my life" factor.

Not saying these things are not important -- they 100% are. But most people need to actively work at dating.