EDIT Guys I totally f’d up this post. I meant to say: if he doesn’t want the child, but she does, he should STILL HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT.

Back to the post:

I truly want to surmount this mental hurdle. That’s the only reason I’m posting about it. I can’t find any other posts that is specifically saying what I want to say.

Every boyfriend I’ve had, at some point we have a casual discussion about pregnancy (initiated by me).

Points that men have made to me:
- The pregnancy is half his because it’s his genes.
- He should have equal say in any termination, under any circumstance.
- If he doesn’t want the child, but she does, he shouldn’t have to pay any child support. ***EDIT*** if he doesn’t want the child, but she does, he should STILL HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT.

I’m sorry but I see it completely differently.

I think the pregnancy is completely mine, completely my own cells and nutrients from my body, and I am the one that bears carrying the child to term so every decision is up to me. So if he wants it but I don’t, he has no say.

Also if I want it but he doesn’t, he still has to pay something. Obviously I would have to pay too. That’s the contract we wrote when we went to pound town. Yes there are situations where one party can manipulate a situation to attain a pregnancy. And to that I say, that the man still signed his name on the dotted line.

I’m feeling like I’ve got these radical views. Like it kind of is all or nothing for me. I definitely don’t understand the science behind pregnancy and the males genes. I would like to be more flexible and open to other views but I’ll be damned if I don’t just FEEL this way.

I’m sure there’s nuanced situations where my arguments totally fall apart. I would love to hear them.

Not every creep's comment triggers this kind of anger in me. Some of them just make me feel disgusted, and then I forget about them right after reading. I’m not even sure what kind of creepy comments actually set me off.

Sometimes I come across comments from men that make me absolutely furious—so much so that I can stay angry for months and keep obsessing over what they said. Usually, these comments are related to crimes where men oppress women, and seeing other men defend the perpetrators triggers an intense anger in me.

The male statements that have kept me furious for months stem from an incident where a perpetrator stalked and harassed a woman for years. When she finally threatened to report him to the police, the male perpetrator broke down and attempted to murder her.

One male comment said this:

You say he has low EQ, is disgusting, and is a creep, but that is just bullying！If you go through a breakup, you look for someone to confide in, but does he look like he has any friends? It is obvious that he is socially awkward. Clinging to someone for years is not fun at all. But in such a dilemma, no one ever taught him the right way to handle it, and bystanders only criticize and ostracize him. I believe real evil exists, but I also believe he was deeply conflicted and tormented while doing all this—wanting to get close but having no way to. Is your only takeaway from criticizing him just wanting to make him disappear!!!?

I am losing my mind. What the hell does the perpetrator having no friends to vent to have to do with the victim? Why does the victim have to be harassed for years just because of the perpetrator's own problems, and why are people whitewashing this disgusting behavior? None of this is an excuse for harassment, let alone slashing someone! Completely ignoring the victim's feelings and showing way more empathy for the perpetrator than the victim—I'm so pissed off, And he talking about how others are bullying the perpetrator? What the fuck?
And what makes me even angrier is that this comment actually got 16 likes. There were 180 comments in total on the post, and this particular comment was on the 86th floor of the comment thread. This suggests that at least some men agree with this person’s disgusting values.

just thinking about this nonsense drives me insane.And then I start questioning whether most men actually think this way, and I become increasingly paranoid and suspicious.

So, I met a guy in a dating app and he was pushing to meet up in person and have our first date. I obliged and we met up in person. Safe to say that it was a wild ride. Some standout comments he made were “Everything is domestic violence these days” and “What’s the point even then, like I've already beaten someone up, may as well do it again”, and “if you're not scared of me, I'm doing something wrong”. When I told him I’m not assertive and am bad at setting boundaries he got real excited and said “my demons love that”. He seemed high on some sort of substance (my sister thought he was low-key on crack lol). When we were walking in the park he kept staring at this couple I guess because they told him to stop. He was walking around into restaurants while being barefoot and shirtless and saying “Mmm, I like the smell in here”. He even almost got kicked out of a building because it was about to close and it was late at night and he was shoeless and shirtless. He. Started chatting it up with a stronger and then just left me inside while he wandered outside. He also kept going on these rants and recording himself talking, like was he going to post those on insta or something? How do I get these type of men? Like my ex was total joker core and was a vigilante in high school and was scary in a lot of different ways (some of them being he said he choked someone out while drunk at a party, but did it the dangerous way whatever that means and bragged about it, put his arm around my neck and asked if I wanted him to give me an example of what choking someone out was, I said no and thankfully he stopped, etc.). I’m talking to another guy who seems really cool, so hopefully the story of my love life has a happy ending.

I’m 20F. I enlisted in the Marines and am looking to have a career in the military. I think I’m thick-skinned, hard-working and competent. I try to give my best at whatever I do. I’d like to know how to navigate and get the best out of my career, in a field dominated by men. I don’t want my identity to hold me back in any way, because I am ambitious and really want to succeed.

every time you see some misogynist bullshit just ignore, block and move on

everyone is giving this bozo attention and that's what he wants !!! everyone of these bozos just want attention from women

stop. responding. ignore, ignore, ignore.

the beat thing you can do for misogynist is deny them the feminine attention that they crave.

this also applies to crazy misoginist in reddit, youtube, reels and tiktok comments, they say this crazy misogynist shit because they are rage-baiting because they crave attention from women and to them any attention is good attention

so, if you see some crazy misogynist in the comments: report and block, downvote, do not waste your energy, deny what they want

I was sort of tallying things up the other day. From the would-be one night stand who started slapping me and calling me bitch as foreplay to the boyfriend who had child porn on his computer it turns out to the guy who raped time to the very long-term boyfriend who didn’t get consent either… the ones who are left range from barely meeting the bar to my wonderful husband… anyway, that’s over 50% of guys in my experience are not safe to be with. I feel like my experience isn’t unusual. Is it?

How do y’all deal with guys forming crushes for you but you don’t feel the same?

I tend to be pretty friendly and like witty banter if the guy does too. I don’t use words like “bro” or “man” and it’s not really in my vocabulary so I can’t friendzone them that way. I still want to spend time with them without hurting them and potentially leading them on (even though I’m being my normal self that I am around everybody). Mid to late 20s range if that helps.

Please help!

By that I mean whenever men I just met try to talk sexually with me, especially through text. I hate it and makes me cringe. It doesn’t matter if they’re the hottest man I’ve ever seen. Once they start asking me what I’m into and telling me what they’re into, I’m icked out. Am I being too sensitive? In my experience men who are like this are mentally unstable. Thats why it turns me off.

hi i’m so sorry if this is a long rant, it’s just been on my mind and i’m wondering how to handle it!

backstory: i have this amazing friend who i consider my best friend, she’s an honest and loyal person, but 90% of what she says revolves around a man. we’re both 19, and for clarity ill refer to her as C. i have never had much of a interest in dating/sex and most of the celebrities/idols i follow about are women.

C got into kpop earlier this year and being that i also dabble in it, we bonded over that. one thing about C is she is a massive fangirl, even before kpop she was head over heels for a lot of actors and athletes. she always finds a way to bring them into a conversation even if it has nothing to do with the topic.

for example, if we’re on the phone or simply hanging out, she’s always telling me about some guy shes obsessing over or how incredible his body or face is. she goes on forever about the guys she texts who never put in the same effort. C herself claims to be “D hungry” and i don’t criticize it, but somehow the conversation gets redirected back to a man always.

i truly value our time together which is why im so bothered that our conversations can never pass a bechdel test when i talk about everything but a man. i also make sure C feels heard when she goes boy crazy, but sometimes i feel a little ignored when im talking on facetime and she’s watching edits or texting guys.

i also noticed in her personal relationships with the guys she talks to she lets them disrespect her, ignore her, or just objectify her. it hurts me to see my friend get disrespected, yet she has no issue with it? maybe i’m too possessive in that sense?

should i even approach the issue? i’m not super bothered by it, but i was doing some thinking tonight and just wanted a second opinion

TLDR: best friend is kinda male centered and “d*** hungry”

“All about that bass” relies on male validation to help women feel good about their bodies. “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night” isn’t explicitly demeaning other body types but it’s borderline as well. I understand if you’re heterosexual or bisexual as a woman wanting to achieve body standards but that misses the whole point of feminism. We should want to look good for ourselves!

Number one their safety is never on the line. Whereas for women that is always the case. Anytime you are alone with a man no matter how well you think you know him you’re never safe.

Number two. They don’t have to worry about being gaslit or manipulated. They don’t have to worry about being deceived and used for sex.

being curious about u and asking u questions bc i wanna know how your mind works and what makes you happy and what makes you feel sad and what ur dreams are.

I was seeing a play yesterday and was revolted at one point by the costumes. There was a song and tap number where all the male cast members were fully dressed, yet the females would have been better covered in a one-piece bathing suit. When the h e double toothpicks will this shit end? Women do not have to be dressed in swatches of fabric that barely cover them in order to entertain. Rant over.

I want to ask couples who have been together for 5–6 years or more about their sex life.

When you first started your relationship, was your partner's erection harder and stronger compared to now? Did he get an erection quickly during kissing, touching, or romantic moments?

After spending several years together, have you noticed any changes? For example, does he take longer to get hard, does his erection feel less firm, or does he sometimes lose it during sex? Does he ejaculate faster than before or sometimes have difficulty penetrating?

I'm curious to know whether these changes are common in long-term relationships or whether they could be related to stress, health, or other factors.

I'd really appreciate honest answers from people who have experienced this.

TL;DR: Couples who have been together for 5–6+ years, has your partner's erection quality, sexual desire, or stamina changed compared to the early days of your relationship?

Do you regret starting hormonal bc in your late teens/ early 20s? Mostly interested in experince with the progestone-only pill (POP).

I tried non-hormonal bc twice (copper iud) but had to have them removed due to my body rejecting them. Other than that, and perhaps the fact that I had slightly heavier flow and stronger cramps, I loved it. But I have to accept that this might not be it for me.

So unfortunately, I am cutrently not having sex at all (for lack of both partner and BC).
But in future times, I want a BC option additional to just condoms because I really do not want to get pregnant at the moment and want to be sufficiently cautious.

I am interested in the POP because it has fewer side effects and depending on the composition, you can still ovulate, and your natural cycle isn’t completely suppressed.

Thanks for helping me out!

I grew up with unrestricted internet access from a pretty young age which has probably done a lot of damage to my brain, but at the same time it helped me realize so many things in society are just pure bullshit and built on women's sacrifices.

Thank you to all the women who came on the internet to talk about their negative experiences with men that validated my own experiences. Thank you to all the women that made posts about feminist theory. Thank you to all the women in history who fought for women's rights and liberation that has probably saved me from a lot of pain and abuse today. I look up to all these strong and wonderful women. Even this subreddit has been a safe space for me. I know it sometimes feels like you are screaming into the void, but I hope every woman here know that all your efforts have been a huge catalyst for my own growth.

I am so happy that at 17, I see through a lot of the "marriage and having kids" as the default for women narrative being pushed upon kids from a very young age. Especially since I was surrounded by a very patriarchal culture and society (and still am). I remember being like 12 and thinking about getting married at 18. If it weren't for the internet, I probably would have never even known about such toxic gender roles and ideas, let alone deconstructing it.

It is hard to challenge patriarchy in my own home and even my country because it comes at a risk of getting physically harmed, but I am educating myself as much as possible.

I do grieve the idea of society I had when I was a kid. It sucks to realize that basically everything is built for the men. And I feel a lot of anger at it. But I aim to use this anger for good.

So I just turned 26 and I got my first ever Pap smear.

I got the results back yesterday that they found low grade cell changes LSIL in my cervix. I don’t believe I got tested for HPV. I did have 2/3 of the hpv vaccines though.

I now have to have a procedure done where they biopsy my cervix and I’m really dreading it. The only open option was with a male doctor also which I really don’t like…

Anyway, I first made this appointment with my obgyn because I needed to have my nexplanon moved because it was causing problems. I needed a prescription for the oral pill. I got my nexplanon moved and she spent like 20 minutes digging around in my arm because it was so deep. My arm is killing me. It was also traumatic I was super nervous. We also had sex the previous night and I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed to have unprotected sex for 7 days before removal.

My fiancé went to this appointment with me to have it removed which was nice of him. I then brought up my concern of having unprotected sex the night before removal and we did more research and figured out I needed to take a plan B.

So… my arm is aching from my nexplanon removal, I am cramping from this plan B, and now I have to deal with these abnormal and scary Pap smear results. My fiancé didn’t provide as much reassurance as I needed. He did buy and get the plan b for me. But that’s it. He didn’t really say anything to me about any of this besides “it’ll be okay my name”… nothing else. He played on his iPad while I was internally freaking out.

He said he looked up my pap results and said that he is not worried about it and said he’d go with me to my biopsy appointment.

I just feel so so alone in all of this. I’ve been reaching out to my friends and my family and none of them have ever had abnormal pap results.

My husband is driving me crazy. He's an introvert and the kind of person that does the same thing every day. He has no friends. He has no hobbies. I am basically the only person he interacts with. When we're together in the evenings, he is up my ass! If I take a minute to just sit and reflect for a second, he will ask me what I'm doing!

I like him and I like to talk to him but I never get a minute to just exist without him proding me unless I lock myself away in my room.

I accidentally leaked through my pants . :/ It was in my house in front of my room mates but i still feel so embarrassed. This has never happened to me before. It all just happened cus I was laying down at an awkward angle allegedly and didn’t realise.
I feel like this is the last straw for me to go on birth control and get rid of my periods. It’s just getting old

I will be starting college in January. I (18F) never had a bf before and consider myself average looking. Can I still attract guys (preferably between the ages of 18-20) on campus?

I work in a zoo/aquarium and do lots of public talks. I can’t stop giggling at the idea of a mime doing a whole bunch of general mimey things and then walking up to an enclosure with a mic and starting a talk. Problem is I don’t have any good bits besides acting like i’m stuck in a box.

There’s also a costume contest where I have the opportunity to do a little bit with the judges and I just can’t think of any good ones. Any help would be appreciated! What are some of the best mime bits you’ve seen? I need time to practice my material lol

So I recently moved to a small town with less than 1,000 people in it. I have a son who is 1 that I stay home with and we’ve been looking to make new friends. For the record, I have literally never lived in a place this small or rural before, I’m from a large city in the U.S. and have also lived in various large European capital cities before. I already knew moving here that I would most likely run into way more conservative people than I typically do, but this one threw me off a bit.

I met another mom friend at a library story time and hit it off. We decided to meet up after the next story time and take our kids for a walk together. While we were walking we were getting to know each other and then she started sharing her birth story. She really highlighted several times how she didn’t feel supported or listened to at all from her male doctors during pregnancy and labor, how she had some retained placenta after giving birth but her doctor wouldn’t listen until her husband stepped in (she was mad about that), how she got a DNC to remove it, and how generally life with a baby is unfair bc we as women are expected to do so much more.

She then apologized at complaining so much so I jumped in and said “hey don’t worry about it, I’m a feminist too believe in women’s rights and that the medical system sucks as a woman.” Then I shared how my doctors didn’t listen to me after I gave birth and had an infection (that would have turned deadly had I not insisted on some tests).

She VISIBLY cringed when the word feminist left my mouth, and after this little section of conversation the vibe was SO off. I guess I just assumed since she was very obviously complaining about inequalities she experienced due to her gender, that she also would be a feminist? Idk. Should I avoid saying that if I want to make friends here? It feels wrong to just pretend I’m not but we’re “stuck” in this town for the next few years and I would like to have some friends.

Hear me out; being a true ally to the feminist cause is about being kind and civil to those you don’t want to fuck. If you’re only nice to those you want to sleep with it isn’t the move you think it is. Often men have disgusting behavior towards those they deem lesser and don’t treat them as people. We’re all human beings at the end of the day. We all deserve the same respect and dignity afforded to others. When men start seeing women as whole human beings the world will be a better place. Even conventionally attractive women get shit treatment at times. Come on. Do better.

Hey there! Divorced, in my 30’s, now on the dating apps and trying to be safe. A lot of the background checks websites look kinda spammy, which ones are legit?