If you’re pregnant and planning to breastfeed, this post is for you!!! I’m 2.5 weeks out from having a baby and here are some things I wish I’d known/done before going to the hospital.

I had no idea my boobs could experience the level of pain they did when my milk came in. I didn’t hear it talked about at all and assumed it was just a painless experience. For me, that was FALSE. My milk came in 3 days after I delivered and coincided with when we came home from the hospital (C section). My baby had a poor latch in the hospital so my nips were cracked and so painful I couldn’t even imagine latching him. Pumping was my ONLY option for getting the milk out and releasing the pressure.

Trying to figure all this out with 0 sleep and painful boobs was horrible so I hope this post helps someone.

1. Clean your pump parts BEFORE you go to the hospital (I was very glad I did this in advance)
   
2. Spend time figuring out how to USE your pump before going to the hospital. You don’t have to be a pro but take 30 mins to understand the settings, how to assemble it, and get a basic understanding. I highly regretted not doing this since I really didn’t remember what the lactation consultant at the hospital told me
   
3. Get 2 sizes of pumping bras. If you have a non-wearable, you’re gonna be holding these in your hands otherwise and lemme tell ya, this is super hard to do. You might not know your correct size so just get 2 and return what doesn’t work.
   
4. Have ice packs on hand for your boobs. For pain and swelling, ice is your friend. I have some kids lunch box fruit shaped ones that were amazing. Also have Advil. Once you’re out of the woods engorgement-wise, heat is great before pumping.
   
5. RELAX - I found myself trying to pump and sobbing from the stress, pain, and sleep deprivation. Milk flows when oxytocin is going and that’s not gonna happen if you’re sobbing. Hold your baby or look at a picture, put on relaxing music, and try to calm down before starting. This was literally the difference between my milk coming out and staying engorged.

The first night home is probably gonna be stressful for a multitude of reasons but hopefully this helps at least one aspect!

Just seeking everyone’s opinions on this. Both trips are relatively short only a few days away but they’re not mandatory and are for general team bonding and no one would question it for a second if he said no because he has a newborn and 21 month old at home.

EDIT to add more info:
1. His company just underwent a merger and these trips would be with the new management that he says is important for his career to get to know
2. He did say that he talked to his mom and she could come stay with me while he’s gone but idk if I want my MIL up in my space while breastfeeding practically 24/7 and probably still wearing diapers myself lol

I was at work and then all of a sudden I felt like I peed myself and had to run to the bathroom

Well I ended up going to the ER and they aircared me to UC

It looks like I’m going to be here until I hit 34 weeks to deliver my little girl

I cannot stop crying. Literally everyday. 39 weeks pregnant and have never been this miserable physically or emotionally. I don’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable with my first. Nothing putting me into labor. Membrane sweep did nothing. Anyone else absolutely over it?! I feel like I’m going insane. Not to mention still having to work. I know she could come any day but it doesn’t help this feeling

update! It was so delicious. My craving is satisfied. baby is wiggling too. Thank you everyone! Turns out I was eating a few servings of organ meat with the in-laws without realizing during my last pregnancy as well. Lots of Filipino foods have low key organ meat snuck in. yum

liver paté during 2nd trimester…it’s my craving right now. I want to make home made bahn mi! I got all the stuff. what if I toast it on the bread??? I’m craving organ meat for some reason, which I am not a fan of, normally. what if I just have it this once? it’s goose and pork liver if that makes a difference.

I am 22 weeks pregnant (FTM) in my mid 30s. I’ve started checking my blood pressure at home over the last week. Noticed my readings have been 137/87, 133/82, 127/81, and 130/85. Normally it’s 117/72.

I contacted my midwife today to tell her my concerns and she snapped back “why are you checking your blood pressure at home?”. I was quite shocked. Did I do something wrong? I told her that I started noticing black dots in my vision and swelling of the nose. She responded that it’s normal to have nasal swelling and that I should be drinking more water.

She also told me that only her blood pressure readings matter. The thing is I only see her once a month. Am I doing something wrong by checking BP at home? Would you be concerned if you had the same bp readings? If you’re from the Nordic countries or UK, how did you manage to get your concerns checked? Coming from California, I am still trying to learn the health care system here.

TW: I will be talking about baby loss and NICU deaths.

I had previously made a post about my baby Nolan James who unfortunately didn’t make it right before I got induced. Thank you guys for the never ending support and love sent our way.

I wanted to vent/rant about the second worst news I have received over the past couple of days. I was still considering donating breast milk but a lot of nurses had recommended for me to not do it because it would be really hard for me mentally, but of course it was ultimately my decision.

My last nurse before we checked out made me realize that I did want to do it. She was a blessing in disguise. She had said that she lost three babies herself. I don’t know how she does this job. What a strong incredible woman she was. She told me again that it was ultimately up to me, but I would save lives for NICU babies. As much grief as I’m feeling losing Nolan, all he’s known is warmth and love from a womb. I would feel 100x worse if he died later in a cold sterile environment. I want to send my condolences to those who have had angels pass in NICU. My heart aches for you and please reach out if you need any support or love sent your way.

So I decided to do it and started the pumping right away. I rented the equipment and was going to get one myself for donation. The lactation consultant had taught me how to do it and gave me the contact information for the donation center. I had to wait two days.

This morning I was successful in finally producing colostrum. I was so excited to help those little babies. It brought me comfort knowing I could help in any way because I don’t want those parents to join this ”club” of loss.

The donation center finally called me and we did sort of an ”interview”. She asked me about storing properly, how much milk I was producing, stuff like that. It was super promising and I was elated. She told me that every ounce can save 30 babies in NICU. Then she asks me what medications I’m taking. I told her I’m taking the postpartum stuff, but I’m also taking lamictal (antidepressant).

She unfortunately told me the news that I cannot donate because there is not enough research on if it’s okay to give to them with this antidepressant. I was absolutely devastated but I did understand. I didn’t want to put those babies in danger. It has very strict protocol. She then said that I could donate to babies who are not in NICU, but it’s not a guarantee if it’s safe still. I could take other antidepressants if I stopped this one and could donate after 6 days.

I spent many months finding the perfect medication because I do suffer from bipolar. I couldn’t change it. It felt like another loss. I now feel hopeless. I couldn’t do it anymore. I angrily packed the pump and told my mom to take it away from me. Pumping was the last comfort for me. Now I don’t know how else to handle the loss of my perfect baby.

Edit: thank you guys for letting me know that I am able to donate with lamictal outside of hospitals. I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself to do it anymore but I hope this finds inspiration for you guys. I feel like grief makes us make weird decisions.

A commenter told me that NICU babies can’t even have formula and rely on breast milk only. I hope this post inspires you guys to donate if you can.

I was adamant for MONTHS to paint the dresser pink & even went to get the paint the other day. What if I regret it though?

Now I’m thinking I should just leave it and maybe just put pink knobs? IDK I am HORRIBLE at decorating and feel like I make a lot of wrong decisions so I need help, PLEASE

Without getting into too much detail my completely healthy pregnancy and labor took at turn during pushing. Baby was sunny side up and the midwife was attempting to spin him when his cord was found to be squished up near his face. Next thing I knew the entire room was filled with nurses and yelling and getting me ready for an emergency C section, it was terrifying. In the OR I was being pushed with medicines shaking uncontrollably and vomiting.The physician had left the hospital during shift change with midwife so we had to wait for her to return, while waiting babies heart rate went back to normal so we took a beat to recollect and make a game plan with the hospital surgeon. When physician arrived babies heart rate dipped again while being removed and he needed support for about 1-2 minutes before breathing on his own. He was whisked away to the NICU, I haven’t been able to hold him. I could tell things were serious based on reactions from the drs, anesthesiologists and nurses. I even saw some crying.
NICU dr shared he is hopeful as baby is breathing on his own, moving, responding to stimuli etc but as I type this he is being helicoptered to a NICU that has access to treatment for him that first dr said needed to be administered within 6 hours (we are cutting it VERY close) but then said within the first 24 hours is fine.
I am angry, traumatized, and so so scared. Idk what is happening to my baby and I don’t know what to do or expect. How do I even make it through the night? Idk what to do I’m so lost

hii, my OB told me to pump couple times in a day and save the colostrum. also, it’ll help with my contractions. i pumped first time today but i had no contractions so far. when the contraction start usually?

i’m pregnant and i don’t know why it makes me sad whenever i talk to my parents. they always hang up the phone by saying “take care of the baby” but never i hope you’re doing well or anything of that sort. i ofc love my baby already and want her to be a healthy baby but that comment makes me feel uncomfortable. am i overreacting?

TW: parent loss, cancer and grief

My mom passed away 5 months ago. I had gotten married just 3 months before. My mom and I had a very complicated relationship before she passed, I’m the oldest of a big family and my mom had gotten diagnosed with cancer when I was 18, about to fly the nest. I, for the last 4 years, until I got married was her caregiver and basically #2 mom to my siblings.
Throughout my childhood, I am realizing I was so parentified, but also told I was a bad kid, “I didn’t help”, verbally abused etc, when I did everything including cooking and cleaning for everyone everyday since I was 8.
My mom was completely aloof and expected everyone to do everything for her.

Now this is where motherhood comes in, I promise. My entire life, I’ve wanted to be a mother.
I still do, I’m just becoming bitter and scared about it and I know it’s because of my mom and grief.

I wanted nothing more than a lil squishy adorable baby to hold and to have. I want so many little kids who look like me and my husband, who I can raise to be confident happy adults. I don’t want them to ever have the life I had as a child.
I am constantly around mothers. My husband and I attend a very family centered congregation, so I am the odd one out in my friend group who doesn’t have a baby. My other newlywed friend is currently trying to conceive, so I’m sitting on the island of misfit toys til my husband and I start trying in march for our 1 year anniversary haha.

But when I’m around these mothers, I feel sad.
Last night we had a dinner party and the topics switched between being a mom, how chaotic and scary pregnancy is, how much their kids are making them go crazy and how much they needed their own mothers. The last one was touchy, but everyone makes motherhood and pregnancy sound so miserable. Like it’s crazy to me that if it’s “so bad”, that so many people go through with it. I just don’t get it. Then it pains me to hear people complain about their kids, because I was in said kid position.

But I just increasingly judge how everyone parents their kids, I can’t believe they make kids their entire personality either. Im becoming so bitter. My husband even told me last night that I am definitely becoming bitter about it.
I do want kids, I’m just getting so scared as time approaches if that makes sense.

Hello everyone, I am having a D&C for my missed miscarriage this Friday. I have never had any kinda surgery and they’re giving me general anesthesia so I don’t know what to expect at all. Unfortunately the surgery is scheduled on my birthday, and after everything that has happened with the loss this feels like the ultimate slap in the face by the universe. What should I expect with the surgery, and how do I ever overcome the bitterness I feel towards everything that’s happened??

TW: loss and misscarriage
So, I just lost my baby girl at 16 weeks due to chromosomal abnormalities and had to deliver her - it was such a traumatic experience on top of my whole pregnancy being draining and hard. My question is for all mothers that had a successful healthy baby pass the age of 38, to please share their experience with the whole pregnancy. I’m 38 now and this was my first. I’m terrified to start or hope again, because of my experience I’m convinced my age was the cause of this.

This is my second child. I'm 7 weeks 4 days. Throwing up, constantly feeling awful, unable to function. I don't wanna tell people outside of family yet. But I cant pick up my child from daycare, I can't host play dates, I can't go to my child's afternoon activities. I can't go to work. People are starting to question what's wrong already. And I don't understand how I'm supposed to keep it a secret if it's super obvious something is happening.

With my first it was the same, actually worse nausea but it was easier to be sick for a few weeks without having a child and the social life associated with it.

How do yall with extreme nausea do it?!

I’m 21 weeks FTM and absolutely blessed with this beautiful gift that I am totally not taking for granted

BUT I am in agony everyday. If it’s not anxiety awaiting results, round ligament pain, gas pain, farting, back pain, not sleeping, peeing, discharge, constantly googling symptoms and wanting to call the hospital with every single question I have but at the same time not being dramatic.

I’m seriously fed up. I adore my boy already but I cannot wait for pregnancy to be over. Crying while writing this.
I’m overwhelmed and I just don’t think anyone understand me.

I can NOT love being pregnant but I’m also grateful I get to experience this. ????? That’s why I feel guilty

I miss my old self (my mind) I miss not having any issues or looking for issues— or stressing about what’s to come.

I've been procrastinating cleaning the house all day and now that it's time I just want to throw in the towel after 15 minutes. Bending down makes me feel like my pelvis is just gonna fall apart. I'm dizzy, and exhausted, and due to start iron infusions in a week, which I hope will help.

I've gotten like 5% of the cleaning done and I just wanna lay back down. I work 12 hour shifts only 3 days a week, but on the 4 days/week I'm off I feel so disappointed not getting anything accomplished. My kids are in school so I have all day to just get something done. My husband helps so much and never minds, but he just started at a new job and I feel awful about not doing more around the house. Just needed to vent. I hope I get some extra energy soon 😭

hi!

First time mom (probably obvious from the title lol) and I‘m very early in this journey. I’m 4 weeks and 3 days from the start of my last period.

I’ve read a few posts about morning sickness, but it’s described differently than how I feel: like I could gag at any moment, but I don’t necessarily feel bad. I’m still able to eat, but sometimes nothing sounds good.

I’m nervous that if I feel like this now, what will it be in a few weeks…

thanks for any and all input/advice!

Extremely fortunate to have gotten the Mixx Next + Pipa Urban as a combo gift

But today I went to a baby store near me I didn’t know existed and they explained that the Pipa Urban has no base and that I should really do the Pipa Aire RX since I live in the suburbs.

Tried both out in my car they honestly seemed similar in fit and “jiggle” when I shook them but the Aire was MUCH easier to take car seat in and out. I also learned the car seat is needed for first 6 months on the Mixx Next (FTM 😅)

Should I sell the Urban? The Aire is so expensive but since I have the Mixx already not sure what to do. Also I see a lot of them on FB marketplace - is that a no to get a used car seat?

Just coming here for a quick vent.

I’ve been pregnant for nearly 15 damn months now.

I was so, so uncomfortable with my first pregnancy. I love my baby so much but I wanted her OUT of me. The HG, the round ligament pain, the not being able to roll out of bed, the not being able to stand up without assistance, not being able to tie my own shoes, not being able to WALK, and the constant kicking… I was so tired of it all.
When I finally gave birth, I was so relieved. Sweet release!! But I had some complications. I had BAD postpartum preeclampsia and ended up with an extended stay in the hospital, and I also had a 2nd degree tear. Once I was home, I was borderline bedridden until I was healed. It was hell. A prisoner in my own body, still taking care of a newborn baby that doesn’t sleep.
I eventually healed and at my 6 week checkup I was cleared to have sex. However, I wanted to wait until around 8 weeks and my husband respected that. I think we eventually “did it” at around 9 weeks though.

When I tell y’all our birth control method failed and I IMMEDIATELY got pregnant from that one time. When I found out, I was fucking livid. Had multiple screaming matches with my husband over how insanely upset I was. I knew it wasn’t his fault at all but holy shit, I was so mad. The depression hit HARD after that. Like, sobbing every day, feeling stuck in a situation I can’t get out of and will just have to face. Abortion was against our religion and I didn’t have the option. It truly felt like I was in hell.
The first trimester ended up being way easier than my first pregnancy, and I warmed up to the idea of another baby. We found out it was another girl and we even decided on a name.

Although I’m happy for the new baby, I’m just so, so, tired. I’ve been in my 2nd trimester for a few weeks, and it’s hitting me now. My stomach is starting to feel heavier. I remember I was so excited to wear a bathrobe and be able to see my feet… That’s gone now. Lying on my side is beginning to get more difficult. It’s all bringing me back to the hellish months of my last pregnancy. The pregnancy I was so happy to be over with.

With these two pregnancies back to back, I feel so weak. My hair is thinning. I have zero energy. I spend the little energy I have on my baby. My teeth are rotting. I barely have any muscle mass anymore.

I’m exhausted. I just want this to be over. I want my body back.

I was officially diagnosed with a miscarriage today. I knew it was happening but didn’t want to believe it…. I took the pills today to help get it all out… I was so excited for this baby. It would’ve been my second one. I’m just writing it here because I’m trying to figure out a way to allow myself to acknowledge it and move forward. It’s hard because I have an almost 1 year old who is very much attached to her mommy so I don’t get much time to just grieve the loss of something I wanted so badly.

I think the worst part is that, every time I flush the blood it feels like I’m flushing my baby. It’s weird, I don’t know how else to explain it. Every cramp that’s come along hurts more because these cramps aren’t to give birth they’re to take it away. I just want to fast forward to the part that I’m ok. That’s all, vent over. Broken person, and after that rant I’m still broken. 😫