I’m so proud of my area and I want to share so maybe it gets traction in other areas of the US. Allegheny County in Pennsylvania, which contains Pittsburgh, just passed a first-of-its-kind mandated paid parental leave policy in a state that’s politically purple and doesn’t have a state-level parental leave policy.

The new law says employers must grant parents 12 weeks of paid leave after the birth or adoption of a child or a stillbirth, provided at 100% of regular pay up to $4,200 per week.

It’s less than the original 18 week proposal and only applies to companies with 15+ employees. Plus, it’s very likely to be challenged in court.

THAT SAID I’m extremely happy we got here at all. It’s a great first step. I’m praying now that the policy isn’t struck down by the courts and Pittsburgh can leverage it to be a hub for families.

https://www.wesanews.org/politics-government/2026-10-20/allegheny-county-council-paid-parental-leave-bill-approved

I want to get perspectives from other moms because this has happened to me on several occasions and i always find it so baffling.

For context, i have two children- a newborn and a physically disabled toddler in a wheelchair. We were at the pediatricians office today and a child around five years old or so kept running over to my son in his wheelchair. She kept touching the wheelchair and at one point kind of put her leg on it like she was going to climb it. I’m also trying to soothe my newborn. I keep looking over at her mom or dad and theyre just smiling dumbly at me, like awww isn’t that cute. Meanwhile I’m trying to take care of my newborn and make sure their daughter isn’t climbing my son’s wheelchair. I kept glancing over at them like hello??? Can you please step in and parent your own child? I think my face must have spoken what I was thinking because mom finally got up and got her daughter. I don’t understand parents that stand idly by and expect other parents to watch their kid in addition to their own. Like I don’t mind being friendly but I have two kids of my own!

EDIT- I did tell the child to please not try to climb on or grab the chair.

And I want to remember it, so here I am telling Reddit about what happened.

My baby is 10 months old. She has gotten over her "stranger danger" phase and now loves attention from adults, particularly older people (she spends a lot of time with her grandparents and great-grandma who of course showers her with a lot of positive attention).

Tonight, we dined at a nice Italian restaurant. It is a family run business, and family friendly establishment. She did very well throughout the dinner, sat in the high chair, ate well with us and played with the bubbles that was offered by the waiter. Did not complain or whine, just made babbling sounds every now and again.

After dinner, while waiting for the bill, my baby was getting restless and asked to crawl on the floor. She found her way to the 2 steps next to our table. As she was climbing up and down (under my supervision), the owner's wife came to talk to us at the table. Every now and again, she would look at my baby and interact with her. My baby was very excited and happy with the attention she's receiving, that she shrieked and laughed every time that happened.

An old lady probably in her 60s or 70s came through and wanted to walk down the steps, so I carried my baby to clear the way. At the same time, the bill came and I got her dressed to be ready to head outside. The old lady who walked past us earlier, then is on her way back to her table and said, as she was passing by me, "(BIG SIGH) at last all the yelling and screaming is over". She didn't say it to me, but of course she said it close and loud enough for me to hear it.

I have another 6 ish months or so before I can hope that my baby understands things a little better and we can start teaching her manners. Until then, I'm sure we will get more of these complaints. Will you share stories of your first experiences?

Okay I’m on one today, but I genuinely cannot stand reading another post or comment from a parent with such an extreme superiority complex.

If your child has a snotty nose (yes, this is the post that sent me over the edge), it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.

If your child has a cavity and you’ve done everything you’re supposed to in regards to their dental care, you’re not a bad parent.

If your child hasn’t eaten a vegetable in 4 days, you’re not a bad parent.

If your child isn’t perfectly potty trained by 18 months, you’re not a bad parent.

If your child watches tv every day, you’re not a bad parent.

If your child licks the bottom of a grocery cart wheel before throwing a stage 5 tantrum in the produce aisle, you’re not a bad parent.

I could keep going, but you get the point. I literally cannot take it anymore. It feels like 98% of the internet is now made up of parenting experts. Perfect parents. Parents who never missed an evening toothbrushing, who never had to carry their child kicking and screaming out of a restaurant, whose child has never had a Cheeto or seen a single minute of cartoons. I’m so exhausted by the parenting trends, the rules, etc. that are constantly being shoved down our throats.

Don’t say “good job!” You have to say “are you proud of yourself?” If your child makes a peep in a public space, you are ruining everyone’s experience, but don’t you DARE give them a screen. If your child is running around with a snotty nose or dirt under their nails, you’re a negligent parent. It’s exhausting.

My mom died out of nowhere and my first baby was 5 months old. I couldn’t fathom waking up each day. I forced myself because I also couldn’t handle the guilt of not making my baby’s day fun and exciting (lol he couldn’t have cared less). I went out to eat and gave him a phone so I could rest for a second and someone made a comment. Nothing crazy, I can’t even remember what they said. But the feeling I felt when I registered what was happening stuck with me. That person had no idea that I was literally fighting for my life and why on earth would anyone feel like it’s appropriate to say something to a STRANGER about something so insignificant? That’s how it feels reading social media/reddit these days. So many parents judging other parents or acting superior with absolutely no clue what that person’s life is like or what they’re going through.

I’m glad that the internet has given us all access to better tools to raise our children, but it really bums me out how extreme it’s gotten.

Motherhood rocked me in a way that I did not expect. I thought I was so prepared because I had nannied and worked with kids for much of my life. Obviously, I was humbled.

My marriage ended, I had financial issues, a messy divorce, and just a lot going on. It was really rough for a while, and I was extremely self-conscious about my situation.

I live in an affluent neighbourhood and felt ashamed. I was surrounded by high-net-worth families who took their kids skiing over winter break, went to Disney for spring break, had their kids in a million activities, and bought them Ralph Lauren, Nikes, and name-brand everything. Meanwhile, I was just trying to pinch pennies to pay rent, buy groceries, and survive.

I genuinely thought everyone else had it perfect. I would look at other families and assume that because their kids had nice clothes, went on vacations, and did tons of activities, their entire lives must be perfect too. I thought, there's no way they forget little things here and there. I was comparing everything I knew about my own life to what I could see from the outside of everyone else's.

Things have stabilized for me and life is so much better now. I am remarried, a homeowner, and actually enjoying motherhood instead of just trying to survive.

As I've gotten to know more parents of my kids' classmates, I've realized that a lot of people have messy lives. I joined the board of my child's nursery school and learned that some families were in arrears, not because they were low income, but because they were living way beyond their means. They didn't qualify for the government childcare subsidy because the income cutoff is almost $100K. I also learned that some families I assumed had it all together were dealing with divorce, custody issues, and messy court situations.

I also worked in a luxury industry where quarterly client bills were often six figures, and so many people couldn't or wouldn't pay. The person I worked for had a "successful" business but was in arrears to so many vendors and always seemed on the verge of bankruptcy.

No one has it fully together.

Maybe this is obvious, but I was always beating myself up for not getting my kids the latest and greatest, forgetting to submit a school form, or not having something for spirit week. No one has it fully together. Some people absolutely do have it easier than others, of course. But be gentle with yourself.

Hi there! My daughter (8yrs old) just got invited to a friend's party. Its at a roller skating rink for 2 hours. In the invitation it said "self pay". I was floored and kinda confused... my question is if you invite people to a birthday party, you pay for them correct? Has times changed? Every birthday party I throw for my kids we pay for everybody who attends.

I’m a public school teacher with over 10 years of experience, and I’ve been seriously considering homeschooling my own kids for years. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation!
I have two young kids, one in kindergarten and one still a toddler. My oldest is doing great in school so far and really enjoys it. We live in an excellent school district (where I also teach), and I genuinely love the teachers, staff, and sense of community.
However, after teaching in multiple schools and districts, both elementary and middle school, I have some pretty big issues with public education as a whole. Not the teachers or even the individual schools, but the system itself.
I think so much of what we expect from kids is developmentally inappropriate. There’s too much emphasis on testing, not enough time for play or exploring interests, too much technology, and way too much time spent sitting in classrooms. I also worry about the lack of independence, motivation, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills I see in students. Reading is another huge issue for me. Even my strongest students have little interest in reading actual books, and so much of reading instruction revolves around passing a test rather than developing a genuine love of reading and learning.
I know homeschooling doesn’t guarantee my kids will turn out any differently, but after seeing these same issues for years, it’s hard to ignore them. I also don’t want my kids spending all day at school and then coming home to do additional academic work. They need downtime, sports, play, and family time too.
The hardest part is that I’ve always been a HUGE supporter of public education. I genuinely believe strong public schools are essential to society, and I love teaching. But I also feel like the system is so bogged down by regulations, testing, and unrealistic expectations that even wonderful teachers can’t always provide the kind of education kids deserve. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
Then there’s the personal side. I stayed home with my kids for several years, and honestly, I hated the baby/toddler stage of being home full-time. I struggled with the isolation, monotony, and constant demands. I’m back to teaching now, and my mental health is better in some ways, but I’m also exhausted and stressed from juggling work and family life. I genuinely don’t know whether I’d enjoy being home full-time again, although homeschooling school-aged kids would obviously be different from caring for babies and toddlers.
If we homeschool, I’d leave teaching and use structured, secular curricula. My spouse is supportive, and since their work schedule isn’t a traditional Monday–Friday schedule, homeschooling would actually give us more family time. However, we’d be taking a pretty significant financial hit.
Another big concern is finding a homeschool community. We’re not religious, and from what I’ve seen, the vast majority of homeschool groups and co-ops in our area are faith-based. I have absolutely no issue with religious families homeschooling, but I don’t want religion incorporated into my kids’ education. I’d really want to find a secular group with like-minded families where my kids could build friendships and participate in regular activities. We’d probably have to travel a decent distance for that, which is doable, but it does make me worry about socialization and isolation, especially since I struggled with that before.
I’ve been considering homeschooling since my oldest was a toddler, so this isn’t a new idea or a reaction to a bad school experience. I’m genuinely torn between an educational model I think might be better for my kids and the financial security, career, and community we currently have.
We’re finishing kindergarten in public school regardless, but I can’t stop thinking about whether we should homeschool for first grade next year.
I’d especially love to hear from former teachers who homeschool, parents who didn’t enjoy being home with babies/toddlers but love homeschooling older kids, secular homeschoolers who live in areas where most groups are religious, or anyone who had similar concerns and ultimately decided to stick with public school.
I’m not looking to bash public education at all. I just genuinely don’t know what the right decision is for our family.

Hi all! I’ll start by saying I’ve always wanted to be a mom, always envisioned myself having a tiny human being to take care of. I’m 8mos pp and lately I’ve been missing life pre-baby a lot more. I went back to work at 6mos pp but only on a part time basis. That helped a lot with my mental health because prior to that, I was with baby all day everyday since he was born. Husband only took 1 week off but helps out during bedtime and weekends. I was diagnosed with severe PPD and have been going to therapy since 1mos pp. That helps but progress is never linear.

What I struggle with is despite having a boring life pre-baby (working 5-6days a week, being a couch potato that 1-2 days I’m not working and just going out to eat), I find myself really missing my life pre-baby. It’s sometimes to the point where I ask myself why I wanted to be a mom sooo bad. Life was nice. I was always a giver and always went above and beyond for people I love even before. But now I find myself feeling so depleted and spread thin. Lately I’ve just been melting on the couch or on the bed after a full day of momming or work + momming. We recently enrolled my baby in daycare for 2 half days/ week just so I can finally take some time for myself. This happened a lot earlier than I planned for but I had no other choice. I have unresolved pelvic floor issues that I have been ignoring but it’s really biting me in the rear so I really need some time to myself to recover, go to PT, do some strength training.

I know I’ll never get my old self back. It’s a new identity that I have to navigate altogether as an individual, as a wife, a new mom, a working mom- all of it. I guess I want to know from seasoned moms if this feeling of wanting my old life back will ever go away. What has helped you feel close to normal?

I am 34 mom with a 7, 5 and 12 month old son. I work full time (remotely) as well as the main caregiver to my kids although they are in school during the day minus my 12 month old. It’s exhausting to be full time mom as well as full time worker. To switch your brain from being productive and focused at work to switching to mom mode throughout the day. My 12 month old sometimes sleep through the night and I try and get 8 hours of sleep per night. I cut down on my alcohol to almost zero Try to exercise more but boy some days my brain fog is incredibly frustrating. Some days it’s worse than others. But having adult conversations is so hard some days. I just feel dull up there. I feel dumb. It’s incredible demoralizing. I have made healthy changes to try and make it better but I just hate this feeling. Is this normal for moms with toddlers or is this something more. What causes brain fog? What have you done to make it improve? Supplements? I will try anything! It just feels like my brain is foggy. I feel this holding me back in so many ways! Would love any insight !

Need something that holds my belly in but doesn’t dig in!

I’ve just been sizing up in jeans and it feels good holding my belly in, but everything else is super baggy. Help, moms!

Just came on here to rant.

For context my LO is 4 months old and I have zero regrets about having him.

However, sometimes I wish I could still have my baby without having met his dad.

I’m the breadwinner in the household. I work 3 jobs, pay for everything which includes rent, daycare, utilities, insurance, ect. (minus some groceries and gas). I also do most of the cooking, cleaning, and overall household management.

Yeah, having a baby is hard but what’s harder is the resentment of doing all of this and having to ASK my boyfriend to HELP. I feel like he should just take initiative and step in.

I wake up EVERY MORNING to his 20 alarms he sets and doesn’t wake up to and doesn’t get up to, and has the audacity to GET MAD AT ME for being frustrated with him. I also have to wake him up because he can’t hear when the baby cries in the night to be fed. He’s gone for most of the weekdays because of work, court related issues, and school. He complains he’s tired all the time yet he spends so much time laying on the couch till 12 or 1am watching tv, or catching up on things he’s behind on which I remind him everyday just to do so he doesn’t get behind.

At this point i’m like just what value do you give me right now?? Sometimes he just feels like more of burden to take care of and remind to do his shit. He’s a man child imo right now.

I keep seeing not to break up in the first year since emotions run high, but damn is this testing me.

Edit for some more context:

He works full time as an apprentice and that’s the going rate for his trade- so yes he doesn’t do nothing. His paychecks fully go to groceries and gas for our family aside from his personal bills.

Yes, I work 3 jobs. 1 is full time, 2 are remote part time i’m able to do outside business hours (1 is 2 hours a week but I make a decent amount with that, and the second is 8 hours a week). I choose to have these two extra jobs so that I’m not left with $500/month after all the bills if I were to just have the full time job. The two extra jobs pretty much help cover daycare so then i’m actually able to save and have ‘for fun’ money.

I'm parenting a fifth-grader who is twice-exceptional, and I'm hoping to hear from other moms who have navigated similar challenges, particularly as their kids get older.

He's incredibly bright, curious, and capable, but we're struggling with some things that I worry will become more difficult as he gets older.

One of the biggest challenges is his response to frustration, particularly when something doesn't come easily or immediately make sense to him. He's accustomed to picking things up quickly, and when he encounters something that requires more effort, he can shut down almost immediately. I'm trying to help him develop resilience, confidence, and a willingness to work through challenges without making him feel like he's failing. He seems to compare himself constantly to other kids and has said lately that he "isn't good at anything," which is extremely inaccurate.

We're also navigating some social difficulties. He sometimes struggles with peer relationships and has described certain interactions as bullying. I want to take those concerns seriously, but I also want to better understand what's happening in those situations, help him interpret social interactions, and give him the tools to navigate friendships, conflict, and misunderstandings. He claims most of his schoolmates "hate" him.

I find myself wondering how much of what we're seeing is related to his neurodivergence, his giftedness, his age, or some combination of all three. More importantly, I want to make sure we're supporting him in ways that actually help.

I'd especially love to hear:

• What parenting approaches have helped your child develop frustration tolerance, perseverance, and confidence when things don't come easily?
• Have your kids struggled socially, particularly with interpreting peer interactions or feeling excluded or targeted? What helped?
• Have you found therapists, social skills groups, books, programs, or other resources that really made a difference?
• For those with older 2e kids, what do you wish you'd known or done differently when they were around this age?

I'm not looking to change who he is. I love the way his brain works. I just want to help him feel more confident, connected, and equipped to handle a world that doesn't always come naturally to him.

I'd be really grateful for any experiences, suggestions, or resources you're willing to share. Thanks in advance.

My 15 month old son and I left a domestic violence situation at the end of July, but we had been trying to get out since April. Actually, the reason I contacted a local crisis hotline was because of the overwhelming response to a post I made here, that made me realize how serious the situation was. I’m very thankful for that wake up call and I hadn’t mentioned prior, but there had been a couple of incidences of physical violence prior to my son being born. One incidence actually involved attempted strangulation, and it took my lawyer telling me “you could have died” to understand how absolutely not-normal that was, regardless of how brief, or how infrequently the physical violence occurred. So I wanted you thank everyone for the feedback I was provided here, it was necessary, and I kept going back to that post every time I felt myself hesitate.

We’re out, but things are still challenging in a different way. There is no childcare with openings in his age in my area, which complicates things, and I don’t have anyone available to watch him. I do some side jobs when I can take him with me. Then I started having issues with my car, which I owe on and can’t afford to fix. I’m using all the resources available to me, including family crisis and DHHR, but I feel like I’m kind of drowning.

Our home is a blessing. It’s my grandparents and my family is letting me live here if I cover the mortgage, bills, and maintain the home. My grandmother has end stage dementia, which is awful, because she is one of the kindest people I’ve ever known and I love her so much. It was my grandma and blind uncle living here, so the home was neglected for a long time. The upstairs liveable, but the basement has mold. I think I found the source of the moisture and have a plan to fix it, but I have no idea how to afford mold remediation. One company told me all the panelling has to be removed, anti microbial applied, and everything sealed. I’m scared of it impacting my son, the hvac runs through the basement and you can smell the mold when it runs. I have two air purifiers running constantly and de-humidifiers downstairs.

I should clarify, that my family intends to sign the house over to me after my grandmother passes. My uncle is the sole inheritor and has no interest in keeping the home, my aunt is the current POA and we talked with a lawyer about avoiding Medicaid clawback, but he said it isn’t a concern since her nursing home being paid in full each month. Theres a little left owed on the house and the mortgage is very reasonable, but we left with no savings. I previously had a small vintage business and I’ve had a couple of good leads, those sales and odd jobs keep the lights on, but I am running out of ideas.

I know this is kind of long winded and bleak. I have my son and he is so amazing. We’re safe. We will have a permanent home. I have my dog. We are blessed in many ways and I know I need to be thankful for all of those things, and I am, I’m just so tired. I feel an immense amount of guilt for my baby and putting him in this situation. I grew up in poverty, in a pretty crappy household, and I clawed my way out of that life. I tried to do the right things, met a “good” guy, get married, have stable income before having a child. To lose almost everything and be back at square one makes me feel sick.

Of anyone has any ideas or positivity to spread, I’m open. Please fill my brain with good things.

Hey fellow moms! I just really need to vent as I don't have the free time to go to therapy right now.

So 11 months ago I finally left my abusive husband. My toddler was 15 months old at the time. I'm living back with my mom and my sister in my home town. The first 3 months I felt depressed, it was the beginning of winter and I had a hard time coming to terms with that I was now a single mom. I also carried a lot of guilt for leaving my husband. I knew that I shouldn't and that's what the abuser conditions you to feel, but I still couldn't shake this heavy feeling. I also had such a hard time adjusting to a new home, my childhood home felt like a strangers home.

Finally the time away from my husband helped me feeling strong. I felt peace and I was super proud of managing to escape him. I went outside more with my toddler and in the summer time we had a blast. Now with the beginning of autumn and almost a year living back with my mom, I'm starting to feel depressed again. It's hard to leave the house again and I feel like I'm drowning in problems. Problems I just tried to forget during the summer time.

First I'm desperately searching for my own apartment but it's incredibly hard to find anything in my position. Right now I'm only living from government assistance and I'm living in a big city, so there are a lot of employed competitors. I just don't feel at home in my current living situation. The proximity to my family is wearing me down. My mom sadly developed a gambling addiction and almost lost her apartment in the past because of it. So I'm always worried if she is going to lose her apartment for real while I'm still living with her, making me and my toddler homeless. For my sister, I suspect she has an developing alcohol addiction. She is always gone partying for the whole weekend and will come home reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. It makes me furious having my toddler exposed to this. Then my brother, he is a lifelong drug addict, luckily he has his own apartment, but he is always coming around and it's making me feel stressed. Right now he's having a psychotic episode, thank god he's in a mental hospital but I'm feeling worried and sad for him.

Then I'm frequently meeting up with my husband because I don't trust him yet to be alone with my toddler. Sometimes it can be really triggering, but for the most part it's calm. But at the last meet ups he's tried to guilt trip me again and while I'm not falling for it anymore it's still hard for me to set boundaries. And as if it isn't enough that I always have to set strict boundaries with my ex, I also have to set boundaries with my mom almost daily. She tries to belittle me and criticize my parenting. I've already been in therapy in my teenage years. So luckily I'm pretty good at setting boundaries with my mom but it gets tiring. I'm feeling watched for every decision in my own home. Also she dumps all of her problems and grievances of her work day on me and I just cannot tell my own mother daily to please stop talking to me. I've already told her multiple times that I can't listen to her problems, my head is already full of my own problem, but she always does it again.

And in all of this chaos I just can't help but feel like I'm letting my child down. I know I shouldn't feel mom guilt, I'm always reminding myself of that, but I just know my baby deserves so much better. I'm just feeling burned out lately and then I'm feeling sad because I just expected so much more from living with my mom and sister. I mean I get it, their plate is also really full, but damn it wouldn't hurt to go to the playground or something a few times a week. I just desperately need a break. I'm also sleeping like shit because my toddler is sleeping less as he gets older and I also try to decompress while he's sleeping, so it's just to little time. I'm also still nursing at night and I'm just so tired that I continue sleeping on the couch in the morning while my toddler watches tv. He also watches tv while eating and I really don't know how it got to this point cause that was something I sweared I would never do. And he watches tv at night until he falls asleep because I'm too exhausted to do anything else. Since he's trying to drop his nap, there also is no schedule at all and I just feel like that has to be so bad for a toddler.

My toddler is still developing really good. He's healthy, talkative, bright, funny and really happy all of the time. He can already self soothe when he has a meltdown and I'm actually really patient with him. I'm always hearing praise from everywhere about his behavior. So I'm not worried to much. I'm always thinking about our own apartment and how I will find my routine again but now I'm left wondering what if that won't be the case for another year. I'm just grieving the family life I thought I would have and I'm missing the mom I was before. Right before leaving I felt like I had everything together. I cooked fresh three times a day, I sat with my toddler at the table for every meal, we went to every mom group in my area, we had our friends there, we went outside all of the time, he was on a great sleep schedule and he rarely watched tv. I'm just longing for that version of me because I know that I'm capable of all that and it hurts not being able to right now.

For everyone who read until here: thank you! It felt really good writing everything down.

I hav a 10 mo and a 2yo. Ive been holding it together though massive unexpected home improvement projects and my husbands mental health/dental crisises and my own issues. Recently I broke down (drinking while the kids were out with my husband).

My parents were really annoyed with me but let me and the kids come home with them for a while. Ive essentially had help with nighttimes and about half the day split up by whatever my moms schedual is. Its been 4 days and I feel almost human again. I just realized I am actually making up games with my kids today rather than just trying to keep my eyes open.

This is not sustainable though. My parents are annoyed and im constantly ashamed. They hate my husband and are disappointed in me. The weird trade off of my personal mental health for my parental mental health would make it a non option, even if they didnt clearly want me out.

My husband does help, but not nearly as much as I need and his help usually comes with either a big price tag we cant afford or a mental breakdown and several days of 0 help after on his end. There isnt really a middle ground with him at the moment, though he is in therapy and getting better.

I feel like my life at home is going to get to a stable point. Just in little steps. (If you've seen the movie "what about bob?", I keep saying "Baby steps to the elevator" to myself). But if I have a bad day it falls completely back to step one. I cant keep pissing off my loved ones and I cant keep failing my kids, in big ways or the small everyday ways.

I dont know what to do and even now, nobody knows how bad off I actually am mentally. I dont think they would feel sympathy if they knew the rest either (probably tmi for this sub but involving sh).

Anyway. Just venting. Also never actually read the rules of the sub so idk this may just be taken down immediately...

Looking for advice on how to feel more put together as a SAHM. My child is 14 months old. Before having him I worked as a therapist but I’ve been home since my final weeks of the pregnancy. My job was in a fairly casual setting but I still had to look put together every day. Think nice dark wash jeans, a nice blouse, or a top with a blazer/cardigan. My hair was tidy every day. Since becoming a SAHM I feel like it’s so hard to keep that standard (or even slightly more casual) and I’m just still feeling so, frumpy I guess and not myself.

I love jeans and still wear them at home but by the afternoon they’re always baggy and sagging from being up/down/chasing the toddler. So I’m usually in saggy jeans with a graphic tee, and maybe an oversized hoodie if I’m going out and’s it’s chilly. My shoes are always dirty from impromptu park trips. My hair is fine and flat, always has been, but gets out of control so much faster nowadays. The frustrating thing is it’s not even that my body changed that much (sure boobs are a bit saggier and bum is flatter but cutting out a 2hr commute meant I’m actually lighter than before getting pregnant) it’s just the lifestyle changes.

I guess I’m asking for ideas for comfy but structured, easy-to-wear, “put together” SAHM wardrobe staples or “uniforms”. Huge bonus if anyone knows a brand of jeans that are comfy but don’t sag. On-the-go hygiene/self-care tips are also welcome, ex. I’m trying to incorporate tinted lip balm that I can throw on in the car so I look alive before toddler classes, etc.

TLDR; how to look nice when caring for a small child 24/7?

I grew up feeling like no one liked me. I didn’t have parties after the age of six. And when everyone else was so proud of their birthday, I tried to not think about it because It was always disappointing. I always felt like I was a mistake and my day wasn’t special like everyone else.

To this day I am terrible at remembering the birthdays, except my kids and husband of course.

I make a big attempt to do up my kids birthdays to the best of my ability. I want them to feel special and excited about their big day.

My oldest is still pretty young, and we’ll have friends at his party, but none of his classmates will be there. To be fair his class is very small, and it may just be a coincidence that they’re all busy or because we don’t know the families well. Maybe it’s because this time of year people want to do the fun family outings, but it is making me unreasonably sad. Like truly heartbroken.

He doesn’t really understand or care, and I don’t want him to realize I’m hurt because it’s just about him having a good time. He’s definitely going to have a good time.

I’m an adult. This isn’t about me. I thought I was over this stuff, but apparently not.

There’s a lot about being a parent that is hard, but one of the more difficult things to handle (for me) is reliving my childhoods most painful moments when triggered by something so little and innocent.

Looking for some help / advice / to vent as I’m truly so stuck!

I’ve been with my husband for 9 years (together for 9, married for 2). Since the day I met him, he’s suffered from anxiety which was manageable. It’s very much around germs and health issues he gets the most anxious about e.g. his knee will hurt and he’s telling me his ACL is going to snap and he’ll be out of action for weeks. Somewhere along the way it spiralled from minor into something major.

Then, I got pregnant and he was a fucking nightmare to put it frankly! So at the beginning of the pregnancy, he was actually having counselling for it all but they only were focusing on us father passing away, he said it got too heavy and he stopped… He was insane about everything, every single thing I touched, I ate, I used - all I heard was have you washed that, have you checked you can use that. I cannot tell you the amount of arguments we had because I dared to not wash lettuce. He even had a panic attack at when I was 38 weeks pregnant as I used foot cream that I wasn’t supposed to so he convinced himself that something was going to happen to myself and the baby. Now little one is here, he’s just as insane if not more. He was so so psycho about people washing their hands, the amount he’d say it to our guests, he was pissing people off, he’d make sly comments saying my dads hands were gross, he won’t let his mum touch our daughter when she’s been at work (as she’s a hairdresser). He then got a cold sore (we both suffer, I had one when she was 2 weeks old and you know managed with precautions), him on the other hand refused to touch / do anything for our daughter for 2 weeks, wouldn’t wash a bottle nothing as he was convinced he’d give it to her). Even now it’s done, he’s so far down a rabbit hole, he’s of no help to me. Today I had to shout at him to change her nappy, he then doused his hands in hand sanitiser (the one that smells like pure alcohol) after already washing his hands and then of course I just had to do it as I don’t want those chemicals on her.

I resent him so much right now, might even go as far to say I hate him. I’ve been supportive for years but he is making me miserable and doing nothing about it. This is not the man I married nor chose to have a kid with. I cannot be supportive and kind and patient any more. I know when I talk to him I’m being mean and horrid and shouting at him when he’s clearly suffering with anxiety that’s turned into full blown OCD but I can’t do it. I’m pretty much a single parent as I can’t rely on him right now and it’s made me so resentful. He then gets out his tiny violin like you just hate me right now - yes, yes I do.

I can’t leave him, it’s not that easy when you’ve got a house, baby, share a car, dog, work at the same place and life’s are so intertwined but being with him with the way he is, is making me miserable. He finally booked a GP appointment to get some support which is on Monday but him getting better will be months down the line and I honestly don’t know how I can deal with this without doing irreparable damage to our relationship (it’s already getting there).

I'm looking for a 5-10 minute activity to do with my 13yo son after dinner. Something like Wordle but not that since his class does it together. It can be on phones, physical games, or books. He's autistic and likes brain puzzles. We don't play video games and I'd prefer something quiet since his younger brother will be doing bedtime. So far I've got Worldle (geography guessing game) and Murdle on my list. Any other ideas?

I have a 2.5 year old daughter. My husband doesnt really take part in active parenting. His concept of parenting is putting the tv on. So I am alone all day with the baby while dealing with my failing marriage and my disorder.

I grew up with a bipolar mom which traumatised me immensely. Now I see the same fate for my daughter. I have tried so hard. Done everything possible to be a better mom but I always end up shouting and sometimes hitting her. She is extremely clingy and sickly child. I dont remember a night where she slept peacefully. She has had eczema and acid reflux since she was born and no medication or diet change has made it better.

I had to leave my job because I cant afford childcare. I am constantly fighting with my husband for basic needs and my husbands threatens to kill me infront of her after every fight.

I dont want to traumatize her anymore. If I leave my husband today she will be taken care of by my husbands family. This option was given to me a year ago but at that time I couldn't imagine abandoning her but now I think it may be best for her to not grow up with me.

I feel like I struggle to recognize when she might be hungry because I generally only eat one meal worth of food a day and that’s a late lunch and I’ve been like this since I was a kid. Like we’ll be playing and she gets extremely grumpy and it’ll take me a while to recognize she might be hungry since I don’t really get body hunger cues unless I am absolutely starving. My time blindness doesn’t help either. Mind you the food is prepped beforehand I am just struggling with recognizing when it’s time to feed. 😮‍💨

I’m 7 months pp after my second baby. I gained about 50 lbs during the pregnancy and I’m actively trying to lose weight. I’ve lost about 25lbs so far.

During both of my pregnancies I started snoring. I never snored before and assumed it was because of the weight gain/pressure from the baby. My mil made a comment about me snoring when she was staying with us right after the baby was born but because that was nearly 8 months ago I wasn’t sure if I was still snoring because my husband sleeps with our older son in his bed, so I recorded myself last night and oh my god. It’s horrendous.

Im also worried it’s what’s making the baby wake up throughout the night sometimes cause who could ever sleep through that!! I asked my husband a while ago if i was still snoring and he said he didn’t hear me but he was definitely lying, even though he’s in the room next to mine.

Anyways, other than losing weight, did you find that anything helped with your snoring postpartum?

We got told this week our kiddo (5) has been having some disruptive behavior in class, and now two days later she would like to set up a meeting because it hasn't improved. I don't really know what to expect in terms of what I should be ready to discuss and would like to be able to prepare for the situation. Does anyone have any advice?