r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 4h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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u/WingDairu 4h ago

This thread is full of people who really don't understand the point:

It's not telling you grandparent hugs are bad. It's telling you that ignoring other people's boundaries REGARDING THEIR OWN PHYSICAL BODY is bad.

This is especially important with kids, because it's important to teach kids that they're allowed to exercise bodily autonomy. If kids aren't taught that, it becomes far easier for someone to take advantage of them being trained to allow touching they don't want because they feel like they have to.

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u/Buzz_Mcfly 3h ago

Yep, sometimes my kids don’t want to hug my father in law and he said “awe but now you are making grandpa sad “. Without skipping a beat my wife said “well Grandpa is a grown adult responsible for managing his own feelings and kids arnt obliged to make him feel better”….. he didn’t know what to say, and I was so proud of my wife.

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u/saragIsMe 2h ago

I wish I had an adult who said that to the adults in my life as a child. Good for your wife, keep protecting your kids

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u/saelwen89 2h ago

100%. I was raised in a very children must obey adults household and it directly led to me feeling like I couldn’t say no or speak up during my own abuse. Children need to be taught this

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u/LilMissy1246 1h ago

Exactly. My father doesn’t understand that consent doesn’t even have to be sexual or physical. If he makes a joke I find offensive (ie anti-trans jokes or racist comments about immigrants) he’ll get defensive and say that “It was a joke, calm down.” Or if he makes a noise that annoys me or he’s being loud, he gets angry and says, “It’s my house. I can do xxx whenever I feel like it.” And as someone that was bullied a lot in school and verbally abused by a sped teacher in grade school, it really bothers me that even as an adult, I can’t even speak up for myself in my own home…it seriously upsets me.

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u/definitelynot40 2h ago

With with tears in my eyes, I wish I could have said the same thing or that somebody would have said that to me when I was younger. Maybe then I wouldn't be living with the trauma of what a close family "friend" did regularly to me growing up when I'm in my 40s now.

Actually I was told the opposite. I was told to be quiet since children are supposed to be seen and not heard. Mind you I didn't grow up in like the 40s or 50s, I was born in the 1980s. And yet nobody could read the obvious body language on me to realize when this one person was in house, I would literally start having panic attacks and tried to hide and get away and make excuses to be elsewhere. The bottom line, really should be paying more attention to your children and any nonverbal cues they're giving you.

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u/Necessary_Owl9724 2h ago

I am so sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too and I took the opportunity spit on his grave when I had the chance. It’s not our shame to carry.

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u/MangoCats 44m ago

When I was 9 I was in a class of abusive students, I tried every way I knew how to communicate how bad it was (it was really bad, including physically) and nobody who pretended like they were listening ever did anything effective about it.

Finally, the class moved to a 2 story building and I knew the next "accident" that was going to happen to me was to be pushed down those stairs. I dug in and insisted on transferring to the public school, "oh, but those kids are worse!" Nope, they weren't. Public school kids weren't perfect, but the entitled brat sons and daughters of rich parents in private school were far far worse to me, there on discounted tuition because my dad worked for the school.

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u/VeryBerryBluu 2h ago

My exact fucking thought. Kudos on this mom!

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u/Spiritual_Priority79 1h ago

I too wish I was raised by that guy's wife

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u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 1h ago

My great-grandmother had a friend named Gladys who smoked like a chimney & sounded like it. I always had to give her a hug & kiss on the cheek.

There's a reason I remember her vividly & it's not because I was thrilled about doing those things.

It was the 70s & consent wasn't a thing for a kid back then.