If anyone is able to help me please do 😭

so i have huge crush on my friend and he has a girlfriend. they are both very obsessed with each other so there’s no chance of them breaking up, unless something terrible happens. i just realized how i feel and idk what to do. i cant distance myself from him bc a) he’s my friend and i cant just cut him off, and b) we have nearly every class together bc of our major. i dont want to ruin his relationship just bc i like him, but at the same time, i really want to date this man. any advice for me??

I know this is my sisters problem and not my own but I literally have no clue how to help other than she needs to leave him which sucks because she pays for the rent, she pays babysitters, she drives kid to babysitter and pick up while he WONT, and she’s having another baby coming. Here’s the back story.
The husband is an alcoholic and they forced him to rehab. He agreed to go. He was not ready to give it up. (We knew that) so he relapsed soon after. My sister in law works full time. I don’t know why she did this but she decided to get pregnant knowing he can’t keep or get a job because she is getting older and likely worried “her times running out.” My sister in law loves him. He is a great guy. But it’s been almost a year NO work and he says all day he is looking for jobs yet has none. He wants to find the perfect stay at home job to be with the family which is not healthy for him because he needs community. He is drinking and drunk at home. That’s why he wants that. I noticed all of these family members of mine I married into are very much huge enablers. Also, my sister in law is such an amazing and loving mom. She wants to be with her kids and I feel awful she cannot. The worst part is, they have babysitters come to the house while he is HOME not working. Because “he needs to look for jobs” I seriously feel bad for her. I know it’s not my problem, but has anyone been in her shoes and actually made decisions to get out of this shit? I feel like she picks up all his slack but at the same time. She kinda has to. she can’t trust him to watch the kids because he’s drinking. I’m pissed. I want to offer her help. But i just don’t know how because I think she will keep picking up slack for him. She mentioned leaving but it’s really not fair she has everything in her name and paid for all so why does she have to leave? Also, that’s very expensive. Any advice I could give her. Please

Basically I got banned from my friends college for drinking at a Halloween party. I got super wasted and was found by the dean of students who called an ambulance for me.

I didn’t do anything to hurt anyone in this state, I just was throwing up in a bush alone and only hurt myself.

I sent an email to the campus police to ask what I can do but they didn’t respond. Is there anything I can do to get unbanned and visit his college again?

So I got hired at a new company (I work in childcare, specifically Montessori, 18 months-3 years) back in July. Originally, they had set the start date for September however due to set up delays it was pushed back until November. In September I got my vertical labret repierced. I’m wondering if I should be okay to continue wearing the regular jewelry (just a simple barbel) or if I should switch it out for a clear retainer? For added context I have my nose pierced & many visible tattoos (full sleeve, some of the other arm, chest & neck) that the owners have seen and seemed okay with it.
Am I over thinking this?? Am I okay to just rock the regular jewelry?

I (F), age remaining anonymous, have been in a relationship with this guy for 4 months now. Let's call me James. James is younger than me, and when we met, I had just broken up with a girl I'd been obsessed with for a year. So everything was still VERY fresh. We met in my workplace and I essentially attached onto him. I thought he was so funny and kind, and he made me change my sexuality. (I used to be a lesbian, but now I'm pansexual). I never fully thought about whether I actually liked him or if it was essentially a rebound. I believe it is a balance of both. Everything was great over the summer, and then once life got busy again in Aug- Sept. I still liked him. But towards the end of September, I started losing feelings. Small things annoyed me; when we kissed, it didn't feel right. We are at different parts in life right now, and I thought maybe I could beat around it.

Then there's the girl; let's call her Amy. I have known Amy since April; we met through cheerleading. I always thought she was extremely pretty and funny, but I never thought about anything else. But around last week or so, I started to view her differently. Romantically. I have tried to push feelings away since I have no clue if she likes anyone right now or if she is even gay. We're close, but I'd still feel awkward asking her one random day, "Hey, you like girls or nah?" Weird right?

I'm so confused since I thought I would always love James. I miss him as a friend and regret sometimes jumping into things. But I don't want to break up since I'll miss the security. But I don't feel anything really for him. Amy has just made my feelings more complicated and scary. I know it's not a this-or-that situation, but that is how I feel. I loved James, and it is off-putting to just feel nothing now. Do I break up with James and get Closer to Amy? I'm so confused.

(Also, Halloween is coming up, and he is supposed to go to a rival cheerleading game and go trick-or-treating with us. We are not doing a couples costume, but I still feel bad. Is it worse to wait until next week? When should I do it?)

For back story my landlord was my banker and he got jealous when I wouldn't go out with him because I had a fiance. I left the state overnight because he watched me through my windows at one point and tried to kiss me multiple times if I was alone and tried to take me out it just because super creepy to be near him well flash forward the last thing he said to me was "is your sister interested and don't get pregnant" well my sister is in highschool and it's weird to ask someone to not get pregnant... Now my card charged my capital one credit and it over drafted and when I looked they took access to my debit card so I couldn't transfer the cash app funds to the account so I have no way of paying but I think he's doing this because he's being bitter... To make things worse they have my car title for the loan I had I payed it off and they threw a for about the DMV needing a physical copy of it so it's gonna be hard to get that back when my husband calls.

Me (19F) and my friend were staying at a hotel for a weekend trip, and on the last morning I was in our room by myself because she went to grab breakfast. I'd already gone down and talked to the front desk the day before about maybe staying a little past checkout, and they were all good with it because it wasn’t anywhere near busy, I paid for the extra late stay and went back to my room. A little later and I hopped in the shower around 10:30, thinking I had plenty of time before anything. Apparently the front desk clerk saw our room as empty and already cleaned in the system, which it definitely wasnt.
I had just gotten out of the shower with my towel still drying my hair when I heard the door beep and open, and multiple people saw me completely nude, they walked out and after some time it was clear what happened and obviously they hadn’t done anything wrong but it was all the front desk’s fault
When I went down to the front desk pissed the clerk just said it was an honest mistake and that the room showed as vacant. He did offer me a free breakfast voucher, which honestly felt like a joke after what just happened. I told him he should've at least double checked since I'd literally talked to them the day before about checkout, and he said I was "technically past checkout time" so it wasn't really his fault. should I be as pissed as I am at the front desk? To be clear I’m not the screaming/raging type but it’s not an expensive hotel and the 2 nights being covered over their mistake is what I want but does someone have some advice on this or have been in a similar situation

I (56F) used to work for a porn studio. I now work for myself and make my own stuff, which has increased my income significantly. My son (24M) has known about what I do for work and is completely supportive. He’s having trouble finding a job, and I’m considering hiring him to work behind the scenes for me. I have a handful of people who help out, but I often times find myself having to do that work too, and I would like some help. Is it a good idea to hire him?

Okay so there’s this girl I know, we both work the same job etc. The thing is we don’t hangout but we talk everyday texting wise. When we see each other in person it’s mostly play fighting and calling each other names. Texting wise it’s just we talk about our days and I obviously act more mature and less annoying than in person (dw it’s reciprocated). She knows some aspects of my life and I update her on whatever is going. She isn’t a stranger and I’ve known her a month prior to getting her socials.

Her birthday is coming up and I wanted to write a nice couple sentences saying I’m really happy to be her friend (among other things) and I really didn’t expect it to progress like that. (I thought we’d text just once and never but we’ve been texting everyday for months).

I just highly appreciate her.

Just wondering if sending her a small paragraph is weird or am I overthinking it

My ex (28M) and I (28F) broke up 5 months ago. We were introduced to Magic the Gathering through one of his friends, but the person hosting the Magic nights was a new friend to both of us, and most of the people (more than half) in the group we didn't know previously.

For context, this relationship was really bad. He tried to make decisions about my body for me. He used to scream and break things, and one time he screamed at me so badly he lost his voice for four days. We tried couples counseling, but after every session he would talk shit about the counselor. When I had to go to the hospital and asked him to take me, he told me to take an uber. I should have left sooner.

After the breakup, a lot of his friends reached out to me in support and saying they still wanted to be my friend. The agreement between me and my ex was I would have first dibs on going to the magic nights since I was more into it than him, and if I couldn't go, he would decide if he wanted to.

I've had a lot of family and work commitments, so I haven't been able to go to a magic night since we broke up (5 months ago). The group chat has been pretty quiet, but one of the members sent a meme in reference to the last magic night. Except the member that posted was traveling overseas during the last magic night that I was aware of.

I texted the guy who hosts, and he told me the group voted me out. The member that sent the meme sent it to the wrong group chat, because they made a new one without me. Normally I would just say fuck em, but I am supposed to be the bridesmaid for one of the girls in the magic group. And the member that sent the meme is the other bridesmaid.

I have talked to both of them in the past week and even got breakfast with the bride to be and asked her about magic because I hadn't seen anything in the group chat. She said there hadn't been a magic night in a long time because the guy who hosts has been working weekends.

She lied directly to my face. I don't know what to do. Should I still be a bridesmaid or back out? I tried calling her after I learned what happened, but she didn't answer. I am supposed to go wedding dress shopping with her in two weeks.

Oh, and my ex is the best man.

I don't know if this fits exactly with the theme of this sub, but I have no idea where else to put this to get the answers I need.

So I'm in this class and we were assigned a group project at the beginning of the semester. I was the only guy in a group of girls, and I initially felt like I clicked really well with one of them. She was super nice and we had a lot of similar interests and we got along super well. She seemed to take a genuine interest in me. I appreciated it a lot. I starting looking forward to going to class so I could chat with her. While talking after class one time, she told me that she was really glad she met me, and really liked talking to me. I obviously felt the same way. So obviously I asked her out. She wasn't interested. Cool. Whatever. It's fine. I was worried it would be a little awkward after. Saw her the next day, and conversation was normal, not awkward at all.

Fast forward to the next week, and she completely blows me off. She sits with my friends (not our friends, MY friends) and doesn't speak a word to me the whole time. Weird. Next day, same thing. Okay, strange. This goes on for another week, and then she's forced to talk to me because we were the only two who showed up. We talk and everything feels normal. I kind of let it go. We go quiet to keep working, and I catch her looking up from her laptop at me a few times. Every time, she immediately looks away and it's a little awkward. We walk out of class, still talking. I'm teasing her a little the way I usually do. She just laughs, smiles and then we go in opposite directions.

The next week, I strike up a very enjoyable conversation with her about film, which she seems very engaged in from my perspective. I leave class without saying goodbye to her because I'm leaving with my friends and they wanna go. Next day I see her, everything is normal and pleasant besides the fact that I'm a little awkward because of the subject matter we're talking about in class. I won't get into specifics but I was just uncomfortable and didn't have much to contribute so I was awkwardly making jokes like I usually do. After class, she asks someone for their Instagram right in front of me, and I jokingly look at my friend and go "Hey, why does nobody ever ask me for my Instagram?" And my friend laughs and we walk away.

She switched out of my group in this class all of the sudden and now I can't tell if I fucked up, but I feel like I did and I feel horrible. The last thing I wanna do is make anyone uncomfortable. Especially a woman. I would never do anything to hurt anybody. I'm just not sure what to do with myself. I am usually very confident with women, and I was with her too until I asked my friends for advice and they started making me second guess myself and then I kind of started to just spiral. I guess it made my anxiety worse and that freaked her out? It got especially bad after she went quiet with me and then stopped being quiet with me. I'm really not sure. I promise I'm being fully transparent with this post. I didn't leave anything out. I guess I'm just not sure how to move forward or how to cope with this, I guess? What is my next move here?

I (23F) have been trying to navigate this situation for a few months now, but I just feel so defeated/stumped rn, any advice would be appreciated. My parents (50s) had an arranged marriage. Never picked each other, never have been a good match, and don't really get along. I was away for a little bit b/c of school, but I'm living with them this year to save up for moving out/getting ready for my next step. I thought they had matured and grown a lot while I was away. I was wrong. They are worse than ever. They are both emotionally abusive to each other and super codependent. There are weekly yelling matches, accusations, and blowups, and then after a bit they will suddenly be okay.

My mom and her siblings keep asking me to intervene and "protect her" "send her away". I don't think that should be up to me. like she should leave of her own wish. at the same time my dad is constantly wnting me to validate his side. And he just generally doesnt do shit or have a life, its just work and home and sleep.

over time, both of then are offloading like more and more of their emotional needs on to me. I'm like their mediator and emotional partner instead of their kid. And It's been like that in the past, but i genuinely though they grew over the past few years. I honestly don't want anything to do with their marraige but I'm stuck here for a year at least.

I'm really struggling with figuring what to do. I feel like this urge to push them to divorce, or to urge my mom to leave for a while, but then i feel like its not my place. I started therapy looking for some clarity. It's been helpful, but there is no clear answer for me. I'm just really tired and wsih I had a step by step guide for how to navigate this. Like what boundaries can I uphold without the whole house getting mad at me. How do I stop feeling so responsible for everything. How do I cope with all of this.

This is probably the most vulnerable post I’ve ever put out on the internet and of course, Reddit is the best place for it in my opinion. No judgement, no biases, just real ass advice. I would’ve put this in r/advice but I can’t include the screenshots.

If you don’t wanna read all that I get it but they provide a LOT of context on our relationship. This was my last message to him before I blocked him so it’s been taken from my notes app.

But to support the screenshots with some additional context to support some things said in the screenshots, I’ll explain a little further and if you don’t wanna read you can probably add most of it up from what I say onwards. If you do read though congrats on your attention span and thank you greatly for doing so!

Firstly, there are a couple name drops (only first names so it’s whatever) Emily is my full sister with my dad, we are the only girls among my siblings. This info might be important to you if you know anything about father-daughter dynamics especially when it comes to absent fathers and/or co-parenting. Dean is my step-father, and you may be wondering why I’m debating breaking no-contact with him around, he is fulfilling in a way! He is definitely a father figure to me who has provided me with a lot of support in various times of my life, but beyond guidance he isn’t the most emotionally available. Our relationship is mostly built around mutual interests in music and humour, not affection.

As for my reason for sending that wall of text, he sent me a message responding to a repost I made on Insta reels about barely seeing my dad, he said something like “If you messaged me you’d see me a lot more often”. I got angry and responded like that because (as mentioned in the screenshots about moving away), a long time ago now when I was about 14-15 (I’m 19F) he moved away to Scotland. Before that he lived just 15mins from me and I would see him every weekend (before I broke contact, I did that a couple times). The first time I broke contact was at 14, I kept that up for a couple years, then I started talking to him again at like 17. I grew distant very quickly which led up to the previously mentioned thing that sparked me to break contact again.

Now the reasons for all of this are very long I’ll try my best to keep it brief but as a stranger on the internet please try to understand this is a critical decision for me and I need help with making the correct one. I can’t discuss this with my family because they don’t like to talk about him and they definitely don’t like to try and convince me not to talk to him as they’re not like that.

So a lot of these are mentioned in the screenshot as I conjured up literally everything I could remember that sparked my decision. To start with I want to talk about the neglect, this was the earliest parenting fail that he made. The severe cases were when my sister would wet the bed, he didn’t clean her, her clothes or the bed, he placed a towel on it and let her lay in it. The cat vomit, the cat would vomit under the bed and it wouldn’t be cleaned, our room never got cleaned in general in fact the whole house was such a mess. He also used to drink quite heavily, he passed out a couple times and my sister had to help with putting him to bed. He was never physically abusive but he did bite my ear once when he was drunk, also threw my dominoes pizza on the floor and ate some of it? When it came to school related stuff, choir, dances, pantomimes, school plays, he was only there for maybe one or two. I cried a lot as a kid because of this and I have recognised that it has affected me as an adult in different ways. He would pick me up from school very rarely on a Friday when it was his weekend, I’d usually end up waiting in a classroom. Then fast forward a little at 14 I was extremely depressed from a mix of bullying and being stuck inside due to COVID, I fell out with my family when they tried to help and ran off to my dads place where I was allowed to binge eat crappy food and lay on the sofa all day everyday without doing basic hygiene routines or changing clothes.

He also never paid child support for us, £30 here and there which he responded to that message showing bank statements of one-off small payments, he had been saving them since 2012 when my parents started co-parenting. He was self-employed so my mum couldn’t take him to court or anything about it, she sent him an invoice last year though for my younger sister, because he got an actual job when he moved. He would send us money when we asked, sometimes extra, sometimes the exact amount. But he would get annoyed a lot when we asked, and like I said in the screenshot, what else could we have asked for? Me and my sister also changed our last names last year to match my mum and step-dads, I kept it from my dad until I sent that message.

As for my remark about why I’d never go up to Scotland and my dad “knows why”, his step-dad (my grandad, I never met my bio grandad as he walked out on my dad ALSO to Scotland) was very sexually inappropriate with me and my sister when we were very young. He would talk about our puberty and borderline molested me (I hate to think that it could’ve been worse if no one was around) in his new caravan in my grandparents driveway, I was on the bed texting a group chat and he -out of nowhere- appeared from behind me and spooned me. He whispered in my ear very strangely saying “why’d you delete your message? you can type I won’t tell anyone what you’re texting your friends.” you can get the picture from there. It was just very out of character as he was always very loud and energetic with us, plus the other adults were out of view talking to each other until he was called over. I was around 12yrs old, I didn’t tell anyone until I was 14 (you can see the timeline kinda add up now). I told my mum who was furious (as my grandad never kept his strange “attraction” to teenagers a secret, everyone just chose to ignore it or think of it as a sick joke) texted my dad what I told her and he was even more mad that I’d say such a thing. That was when I broke contact for the first time. I also hate my grandmother with a passion, she’s very enabling and very mean to me. She was absolutely horrible to my mum growing up right in front of me too when she’d pick us up from my grandparents house.

He cheated on my mum a lot, abandoned me and her when she was pregnant to study music at college, spent a lot of money on alcohol, she always told me I shouldn’t worry about it as that’s between them but it’s my mum so of course I’d be mad.

As for the tantrums, he did lash out a few times and I always had to resolve arguments at a very young age. It’s already complicated enough being a teenager, going through the motions with a lot of other shit I won’t touch on since that’d be my life’s story. I felt like I was doing a lot of the “parenting” when we would clash. I’d get overstimulated pretty quickly which turned out to be ADHD which I actually got from him, and I’d shut down. He took this as rejection of some kind and would storm off in a mood so I of course, had to resolve it. This again, was when I was mid-teens.

But overall, this is why I’m debating breaking no contact despite how bad some of the stuff in the past may be. And I know none of you can make this decision for me, it’s also never black and white, but my circumstances are vastly different now. I’ve moved out of my family home, live with my wonderful boyfriend, I’m getting my first full-time job in a public service, I’m independent and don’t have to rely on anyone anymore. I feel like dynamics change and grow with your situation, you lose friends due to clashing schedules, make new ones in your new environment, you drift from family members you don’t see anymore and hold other ones closer that you miss greatly and want to see again soon. I’m not overly busy and he doesn’t know a lot about my life at all, there’s a lot I feel like I want to catch him up on. What if something happens to him and I feel terrible about everything? I also think that because he was never inherently awful, just didn’t put the effort in, I can find space to put it behind me as an adult with a completely new life?

Sorry this was so long but if you made it this far, thank you! Your opinion and guidance will be greatly appreciated. I have been battling with this for what feels like my entire life. If you require any context don’t be shy to ask as I may have missed some things.

I’ve been seeing this guy very seriously recently. Lost my virginity to him and everything, which was definitely too fast but I didn’t regret it. Last night we got off the phone after ten minutes because he said his father was coming downstairs. He said he loved me, and I said it back.

We’ve had a great relationship. The way he looks at me is very different. He speaks to me very kindly, he is respectful, and he even bought my groceries for me one night. He also gave me a very nice discontinued hoodie and I wear it around a lot. He seemed to really really like me and enjoy our time together, and I do too.

Today, he has just completely ghosted. He texted me “Hey baby.” At 7:30am and then didn’t respond until 4pm when I was angry about how he had been online and not responding. He just said “[My name], Sorry.” I asked what I did and he just said “You did nothing wrong.”

He has mental health issues. He is bipolar and autistic. Struggles with mental health and has been to rehab for drug addiction. I was extremely angry and blew up on him, and he left half of my messages on read and the other half on delivered. I called him many times too and he didn’t answer, and only hung up on one call. He hasn’t blocked me on anything. His location is just pinging in his room. I guess i’m worried. I’m extremely upset and sad, because he means a lot to me. But now I am just worried.

What do I do? I think I should leave him alone for now but none of his friends seem to know the issue either. I’m torn. :(

Exactly a week ago i accidentally discovered that my father (61) is cheating on my mother (58) .
I accidentally stumbled on a what’s up conversation on his phone where he was chatting to some woman and planning to meet her the next day ( my mom was going on a weekend trip with her friend) while i was taking my brothers to visit our aunt .
Upon returning from her house the next day i checked his phone again and found out that they had met that morning after he had dropped my mother at the airport and that he was planning to meet up again with her in the evening but she did not come and gave him some excuses and he was not above begging and even offering to get her an uber .
This was on Saturday, my mother came back home on Monday morning and he had stopped talking to that girl. I shamefully have to admit that i was relieved and had thought that it was all over.
Then again today’s morning i discovered another chat with another woman where he was planning to meet her in the afternoon and have sex with her and he did go out so….
I am beyond disappointed and disgusted with him, i cannot stand to exist in the same house with him .
I cannot stop thinking about my mother, my heart is breaking for her and I have no idea what to do, I don’t know if / how to tell her, considering that this is not the first time that he cheats on her, he did this multiple times throughout my childhood and had multiple relationships with multiple women and my mom always ended up forgiving him.
But the idea of her continuing to share her life,her bed with him kills me
I am the only one who knows and have no idea what to do about it ??!

My friend asked for his number and I gave it tk her she started texting him and then it when to far

She gave him hints since he wanted tk know if I was his type then he said he thinks he knows who it is and said my name

Mt friend said that she doesn't know who that is and she went to the same school as him last year but now goes to a diffrent one

She said I have brown hair am Artistic kind and funny which are all true she said I was 5,3 which is not and now how tk I act natural when he might not like me