Edit:
I also want to clarify that I’ve already addressed this with her multiple times. I pay more rent than she does, and she somehow has no problem feeding her own dog when I’m at work in the mornings. But when I’m home sick, suddenly I’m expected to take care of her responsibilities.
The last time I brought this up, she got extremely bitchy with me and made me feel like my own home isn’t even a safe or comfortable place for me anymore. I feel like I can’t say anything without her getting an attitude, which makes the entire situation even more stressful.
And before anyone asks, yes, I do have my own dog. However, my boyfriend has been helping me take care of my dog while I’m recovering because he understands that I’m physically not in a position to do everything myself right now. That’s the difference: I’m making arrangements for my dog’s care instead of expecting someone who is seriously ill to take over my responsibilities.
I’m not asking my roommate to do everything for me, and I’m not saying I should never have to help out around the apartment. I’m asking for basic consideration while I’m recovering from brain surgery and dealing with pneumonia. I’ve tried communicating with her about this multiple times already, and I’m honestly at a loss for what to do because I don’t want to feel uncomfortable in my own home, especially when I’m already dealing with so much physically.
I’m honestly getting so frustrated with my roommate, and I need some outside perspective because I feel like she’s expecting way too much from me right now.
I’m currently recovering from brain surgery, and on top of that, I have pneumonia. I’ve been dealing with a lot physically, including severe headaches and pain around my incision. I’m exhausted and just trying to rest and get better.
Despite all of this, my roommate keeps texting me asking me to feed her dog, Faye, and take care of things for her. I’ve attached screenshots of some of our conversations for context.
For example, she’s texted me multiple times about feeding Faye and making sure she goes potty. On another occasion, she asked me to feed Faye and unload and reload the dishwasher.
The dishwasher request particularly irritated me because I barely even use the dishes in the first place. I usually wash the few things I use in the sink myself, so I don’t understand why I’m being asked to handle an entire dishwasher load while I’m literally sick and recovering from surgery.
I understand that Faye needs to be fed and taken outside. I love animals, and I don’t want the dog to go without care. However, Faye is her dog, not mine, and taking care of her is ultimately my roommate’s responsibility. I shouldn’t automatically become responsible for her pet just because I’m home.
What makes this even more frustrating is that being home doesn’t mean I’m available to do chores or take care of other people’s responsibilities. I’m home because I’m sick and recovering from a major surgery, not because I’m sitting around with nothing to do.
I feel like my roommate isn’t considering how physically awful I feel right now. I’m dealing with pneumonia on top of my recovery, and I genuinely need rest.
Am I wrong for being upset about this? How would you handle this situation without creating even more tension with your roommate? Would you tell her directly that you can’t keep helping with the dog and household chores, or would you just stop agreeing to do these things?
TL;DR: I’m recovering from brain surgery and currently have pneumonia, but my roommate keeps asking me to feed her dog, take her outside, and do household chores like unloading and reloading the dishwasher. I barely use the dishes and wash my own in the sink. I’m exhausted, in pain, and just want to recover without being expected to take care of my roommate’s responsibilities. Am I wrong for being frustrated, and how should I handle this?

What do I do? My great grandfather passed away btw I’m only in my mid 20’s I never thought I would inherit anything but my husband is demanding half of it like what do I do in this scenario.

So for background info I (17f) and my partner (18) have been together for 3 years, about 4 years at the end of October and have recently moved out of thier parents house and into our own place together. My partner has been talking about going through hrt, (going from male presenting to female), recently and I dont know how to feel about it. I'm straight and as much as I love my partner I dont know if I would still be happy later down the line because i want to have kids and hrt can affect fertillity and all that, also with me being straight im not sure how I would feel being with a fem presenting person (my partner is non-binary but still). I feel really shitty and mean for even thinking about splitting up with them but I would still love and support them as a friend. Our relationship is amazing, we also live together and share bills, rent, food costs etc and I know they feel hurt by my stand on this. We've talked about it a bit and the possibility of me changing perspective in the future but neither of us want to build resentment towards eachother, I'm just stuck on what to do because i dont want to hurt their feelings or make them feel worse than they already are, they werent able to express themselves before due to judgmental adults in their life and I dont want them to feel judged by me either. What do I do?

Hi everyone. Firstly, let me (26F) say that this post isn't about my relationship. I've been very happily dating a guy for 10 years (since I was 17, hs sweethearts and all that). The issue is his sister. Let me fill you in:

My husband has 2 sisters. One of them is 23, I think, the other turned 16 this year. Now, his older sister (lets call her Donna), decided it would be a great idea to introduce her and my husband's younger sister to one of her friends, a 26 year old man, and set them up. The younger sister, let's call her Taylor, opened up to me when this was happening that she didn't like him much but that he was very pushy and he kept messaging her and giving her flowers. OBVIOUSLY, I told her how messed up it is that he doesn't take no for an answer. We had a talk about it and she said she doesn't like him much, so nothing will probably come of it. I do have to say, this talk was... unexpected. We do not talk like that. Taylor and I have a lot of things in common, but at the end of the day, she is a 16 year old girl.

Fast forward a few months, they're now dating, making out, posting pictures online, etc. I'm not upset that she changed her mind. I'm upset at the guy being 26. In my eyes, this is absolutely inappropriate. I do, unfortunately, come from a country where things like this are not only legal, but also normalized.

How can we help her? I know she's not in currently in a position where she thinks she needs helping. But clearly something is wrong with this man. No sane man at 26 would ever find a 16 year old attractive or relatable or in any way desirable as an equal partner.

The issue now is: what do we do? Do we (as in my husband and I, who hates the situation just as much as I do) talk to her about it? Do we let it go? Do we just let her discover it on her own? Do we talk to her mom? (My husband definitely will, but she... well... she won't care). We're also running into another issue here where... last year my husband's (and his sisters') father died. It was a pretty traumatic death, very sudden. Taylor did NOT take it well and we both feel like the only person whose opinions on this she would respect would be her father. I also don't think any scenario should involve my husband being in like a weird paternal role. If we ever do discuss it with her, we want to approach it as her brother and sister in law being concerned about the motivations of the guy she's dating, but even now as I am typing this, my head goes "this is none of your business."

Let me also add she just turned 16 VERY recently and the entire is just so icky.
Is there a way we can help her out? I know this probably sounds psychotic and too protective (not the being concerned, but the post itself because I WANT TO HELP HER SOMEHOW, I just wanna do it in a way that will be correct), but I am sure we can all agree a 10 year age gap where one of the people freshly turned 16 is simply not okay.

Basically I got banned from my friends college for drinking at a Halloween party. I got super wasted and was found by the dean of students who called an ambulance for me.

I didn’t do anything to hurt anyone in this state, I just was throwing up in a bush alone and only hurt myself.

I sent an email to the campus police to ask what I can do but they didn’t respond. Is there anything I can do to get unbanned and visit his college again?

Hi! This is my first time posting on reddit and I've come here out of desperate need of help. I am 20(f) and currently stay in my grandfather's house, where my grandfather, my uncle's wife(uncle lives abroad), my uncle's 1 year old son lives. To start with, me and my uncle's wife(referring to her as aunty) have a good relationship. I reside in my grandparents' house for my study for many years now and my parents are still alive and visit me regularly.

I started seeing someone from bumble last april. we started sexting and it was a casual relationship. So for the first time in my life, I took some risky photos and some nudes without my face showing. We used to talk in snapchat and sext there. I stopped talking to him after june as I didn't want to continue sexting anymore and felt it wasn't right. We stopped talking alltogether in july.

I use two phones and one of them did not have lock option. I never really bothered to put lock in that one as no one touches it and my mother doesn't live with me. That was my first grave mistake. Two days ago, I accessed my aunt's hidden folder on her iphone. I knew her password and she's the one who told me and I always unlocked her phone infront of her to see pictures or for clicking them. That day, I noticed the hidden folder and wanted to see it. Ik it's an invasion of privacy, but due to some events occurring, I had to check it. What I saw made my heart beat so fast cz there was one of my intimate photo, an intimate video(i was just dressed in bra and underwear), and a video of my recently deleted folder where multiples pics of my nudes can be seen. And it is clear from those that it is me as the background is my room. I checked the time stamp and it was taken on june 1st. I went to my room and started checking my gallery and calls to remember what I was doing that day. I managed to recall that I went to my parent's house and left the 2nd phone in my room. I returned to grandpa's home that night. She took the videos from my phone around 9.30pm. I had zero idea someone went through my phone and now I am shaking cz she acted perfectly normal with me all this time and didn't say anything to my parents. I don't know if she told my uncle or anyone else. No one confronted me. So why does she have them? I can only guess for future blackmail or to use them against me or my family at the right moment

1.Now, please help me figure out how I can delete them from her phone without her knowing it was me and get suspicious that I accessed the hidden folder?

2.Confronting her about this matter isn't an option as I am from a religious muslim household. Me doing this is extremely taboo to my family, and I can get my freedom taken. I want her to think I have no idea she has those pictures as it's been several months and I only found out now. How to do that?

1. I first wanted to delete only my pictures but she will find out in an instant and this can trigger her to confront me about the pictures and threaten me, or tell my uncle, parents, which did not happen yet.

2. Should I delete the entire hidden folder? There are about 300+ pictures, vids. How can I stage that so she thinks it happened due to an iphone glitch and I did not do it?

3. Saying to her that I took those pictures just for fun isn't an option either. She might have seen snapchat notifcations of the guy sending me texts. We were talking on snapchat that day and the notification might have shown his name. Our chats were set to delete immediately so I am not sure if she by chance clicked on them, and got to see the chats.

Please help me figure out. My mental health has been destroyed and my heart is constantly palpating from anxiety ever since. This betrayal hurt me so much cz I am genuinely closed with her and her actions are like a slap to my face that I should trust anyone ever.

Ps. I am so sorry for the long post and horrible english(english is not my first language).

Wasee, I genuinely need advice because sijui kama niko sawa kwa kichwa.

I'm 26M, raised by a single mum. My dad died in 2015 when I was still in high school. At least that's what I've always been told. Apparently, he was involved in a road accident on his way to Nakuru and died before reaching hospital.

Mum raised me and my two siblings alone. Life ilikuwa ngumu lakini tulisurvive. She used to tell us how much she loved dad and how she never moved on because he was the love of her life.

Last month, mum asked me to help her recover her M-Pesa statement because she wanted to apply for a loan. While checking her messages, I noticed something weird.

Every month, on the 3rd, she receives KSh 18,500 from the same number.

I asked her who sends her the money.

She told me ni chama.

I didn't think much about it until last week when I accidentally saw an old message from the same number.

It said: "Nimetuma fare ya mtoto. Mwambie asiniite tena."

I asked mum about it and she got angry. Akaniambia niache kuchunguza mambo ya watu wazima.

Sasa juzi, I decided to call the number.

A man picked up.

I asked him who he was and why he sends my mum money every month.

He went quiet for a while, then asked me my name.

When I told him, he started crying.

He said, "Kwani huyo mwanamke hajakuambia bado?"

Then he told me he was my biological father.

I thought this was a sick joke. I told him my dad died in 2015.

He replied, "The man who died in 2015 was your uncle. He raised you because I was in prison."

Apparently, he was arrested before I was born and released in 2014. He said my mum agreed that he'd stay away from us but help financially.

I was shaking at this point.

I asked him why he never came to see us after his release.

He said he did.

Three times.

The first time, mum told him I didn't want to see him.

The second time, she told him I was abroad.

The third time, she told him I had died.

Wueh.

I asked him where he lives. He said he's in Thika and offered to meet me this weekend.

I haven't told my mum I called him.

But here's the part that's messing me up.

Yesterday, I went through our old family photos looking for a picture of my uncle who supposedly died in 2015.

I found one from my 10th birthday.

My uncle was standing next to me, smiling.

Behind us was my dad.

Not the man I've been told is my dad.

The man from the phone.

And on the back of the photo, in my mum's handwriting, were the words:

"Last birthday before he comes to take his son."

The date written underneath was 2010.

Guys, my mum has never explained what happened in 2010. I've asked her before, but she always cries and tells me to stop asking questions.

I don't know whether to confront her or meet this man first.

Part of me wants to know the truth. Another part of me feels like I'm betraying the man who raised me.

Na pia, why would my mum tell me my own father was dead?

Wasee, what would you do? Do I meet this man on Saturday or leave the past alone?

So i (20) had anal sex for the first time like 3 months ago or so but me and my bf (31)would do it on and off not a lot since it hurts when it’s first in and also hurts during a bit but more when it’s first in

I started crying and he took it out and said “that’s a turn off stop crying, don’t start”. And still wanted to what do I do?

He had took m3th yesterday. After two years of use. And says he doesn’t have patience anymore because of the use.

Edit: Should I give him the silent treatment or tell him something? I’m definitely not ever going to date him. Thanks.

I recently went on a solo trip, and during the trip, I met two men. One was separated (A), and the other one (B) had been married for 17 years and has a young child. (I didn't know any of this initially).

I ended up spending a lot of time with B. We explored places together, then spent almost the entire night sitting by the ghats, talking, laughing, and having a really good time. We had great chemistry, and he kept complimenting me and telling me how much he enjoyed being around me.

We were at the ghat the entire night and in the morning during sunset, we kissed. He came to my room later. We got intimate, but we did not have sex; I didn't feel like cause it was just then that I got to know he's married.

Then he told me that he has had relationships with other women after marriage and sometimes gets involved with women he meets randomly if he finds them attractive or feels a connection with them. He said he makes choices that make him happy and does not see them as right or wrong.

He was very affectionate with me, and everything felt genuine in the moment. We have been texting since the trip, but I honestly don't know what to make of him or the whole experience. Quite a fool I am :(.

Now, here is where I need advice.

I know he is married, and I know getting involved with him was not a good choice. I am also disappointed in myself for crossing that line.

But I cannot stop thinking about him. I keep replaying our conversations, the way he looked at me, the kisses, and how beautiful and wanted I felt around him.

This was the first time I felt such an instant connection with someone. It felt so natural and special, and I think I got attached much faster than I expected.

Now I keep wondering if he thinks about me, if he misses me, or if I was just another woman he met on a trip. What hurts is that something that felt so special to me might be a normal experience for him.

Part of me wants to believe that our connection was different. Another part of me knows that he has done this before and might do it again.

I would really appreciate honest advice on a few things:

• How do I stop thinking about him so much and getting attached to someone I barely know?
• How do I stop wondering if he misses me or thinks about me?
• How do I accept that the connection may have meant something different to him without feeling like I was just another woman?
• How do I stop comparing myself to the other women he meets?
• Has anyone been through something similar? What helped you move on?

I know I made a choice that I need to take responsibility for. I am not looking for people to tell me that everything I did was right. I just want to understand my feelings and learn from this.

Please be kind. I am already trying to process a lot of emotions, and I would really value genuine advice from people who have been through something similar.

Like, those were the worst times in my life if i think about it i was in an abusive household being traded back and forth by my parents and the court I had an eating disorder and was malnourished to the point my nose would bleed for 3 hours at a time and I’d fall and hit my head because my arms were up in the air to long cause i was trying to tease my hair in the mirror at 5am for 2hours every day and everything would go black and my mom wouldn’t find me on the floor till she woke up at 6 and my two best friends tried to kill themselves on the same day and i had a suicide pact with a friend if we didn’t get accepted to college and she had a maladaptive coping mechanism that made her believe she was an actual vampire and I really just don’t want to live it again

Hi all! So I’ve been working a new retail job for about a month now. My manager sometimes messages me with shift opportunities so I can get more hours in. I received a message yesterday asking if I wanted to take a morning shipment shift so I said yes. I share a car with my dad who also works so I arranged transportation with him. I usually drive myself and he WFH when I go to work, but he had an in person meeting he needed to be at so he dropped me off. I get to the mall about 10 minutes before my scheduled shift and it’s still dark in there and everything is closed obviously lol. But the lights weren’t on in my store and I’ve done shipment at another store when they needed help so I wasn’t sure if I was scheduled there again, so I went over there to ask if I was scheduled there since their lights were on and there were people in there. I spoke with their manager and she looked to see if I was listed anywhere, but they didn’t have shipment today and I wasn’t on any list, so I said I’d go back over to my store to see if the lights were on or if anybody was there.

I went back to my store and the lights were on, and at this point it would’ve been 15 minutes into my shift. I knocked but didn’t get a response. So I called the store’s phone number to see if maybe everyone was just in the back room, and one of the assistant managers (I’m assuming, I haven’t formally met everyone yet since I’m still new), picked up the phone. I told her I got a message from the manager yesterday about a shift opportunity to help with shipment and that I’d arrived for my shift. She then proceeded to tell me they don’t have shipment today and that she should have called me to let me know, and that I could go home.

At this point I was kind of irritated because I couldn’t go home (literally still in the mall roaming around as I type this), because my dad was still driving on his way to work so I couldn’t get ahold of him until he arrived. Then when he arrived I had to break the news to him, and he said he’d try to pick me up as soon as possible. He was irritated (not with me), but because now I’m stuck here and he has to leave work at an unplanned time to get me, and none of the stores are open so I have nowhere to go. So I’ll be in the mall for basically the 4 hour time period I was scheduled for, but doing nothing but roaming around.

I understand mistakes happen and in no way do I want to assume malicious intent right off the bat, especially since everyone has been nothing but kind. I messaged my manager to tell her what happened and I haven’t heard back yet. I’ve never had a situation like this and I’m not the most confrontational person so I don’t really know how to handle this. Both my dad and I woke up early for this and he rearranged his whole work schedule for me to be there so I feel kind of done dirty. What would you do in a situation like this?

Thank you all for your suggestions (and criticisms) I feel like a total asshole, which is warranted. It was selfish for me to reach out again. I don't think I even really reallzed how bad this all was until some of y'all pointed out how it seemed like I didn't even like her as a friend. Honestly, my apathy must come from just the pure emotional exhaustion. What y'all didn't see in those screenshots was a long history of her coming to me with her problems, me trying to help her, and her not listening to my advice or getting support at all. Yet that doesn't excuse me reaching out again for selfish reasons and then getting annoyed at her. Here is the conversation I just had with her, finally cutting things off once and for all. Blocked now on everything. I feel absolutely horrible, knowing she's going to have an even worse time now and all because my dumbass. Did I handle this okay? I don't want to ruminate, I mean what's done is done, but I need perspective. I haven't told anybody about how bad this has gotten.

I live in pennsylvania and I know the best option would be to get a lawyer but we can’t afford one and we do not qualify for free help. Tried /legaladvice but only received one comment telling me to go to the free option.

We’ve lived in our home for over 30 years and have always parked in the shared driveway. The deed only says it’s for the convenience of both properties and doesn’t say anything about right of way or no parking. There was no issue with our newest neighbor until he built a giant garage that is right up to the line of the 10 ft driveway. Today he dropped off two copies of our deed in an envelope from a lawyers office with his handwritten notes saying no parking in the right of way and no turning around outside of the right of way and signed his name on it. No notary or information from the lawyers office. He wants us to park in our yard and bullies my mom about other things and is asking visitors about my moms financial situation. He cut part of our tree down without asking and allowed the people on our property without out permission. It seems to me like he’s just trying to bully us bc he’s mad that we’re allowed to use it and my mom couldn’t and wouldn’t pay to cut the tree we didn’t even want to be cut down. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want more problems with him. I’ve tried to do as much research as possible but nothing really explains anything and just tells me to look at the deed which is not specific.
I really want to know what the terms of our deed permit us to do but I have to contact a lawyer for that and i have literally 20 dollars. do we ignore him and continue parking there?
there is no street parking in front of our house it’s only on one side of the street so we would be taking other neighbors spots or parking blocks away. We park two cars at the very back of the driveway one already mostly in the yard under the tree he cut with maybe one tire on the driveway and another pulled as close to our yard as possible with enough room to enter and exit. we both can’t park where the first car is , there wouldn’t be enough room for the other one to leave i just don’t understand what his problem is and maybe we’re wrong but i would like some outside perspective.

I (M27) have a crush on my roommates (M26) gf (F21) and I feel awful. The roommate is my good friend, we’ve been since we were children which makes this worse. They’ve been together I think between 1-3 years, but I only met her back in April. I didn’t think much of her to begin with and then we started having conversations.

She’d be in the kitchen making dinner, I’d be making tea and she would just start talking to me about literally anything. I’m very shy and she made me feel comfortable. Now, every time i come into the kitchen she asks me to be her sous chef and I just do it. She writes “bomb threat” IT’S A JOKE on piece of paper and slides it under my bedroom door. Every time she goes to an Asian shop, she always gets me something. She sings my name every time she sees me. And yeah just a whole bunch of things. She stayed over the whole of august and my feelings for her grew. PLEASE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, i can’t really confess because that puts everyone in awkward position, and i can’t exactly tell my friend she can’t come over. WHAT DO I DO?

So I’m going to try to make this short. Back in the summer my friend introduced me to this guy knowing we’ll hit it off while I was seeing my ex. We kept seeing eachother and going on one on one dates. My ex and and I were not a match we had nothing in common and we both signed out of the relationship like a year ago until September when I broke up with him. With this guy I started getting closer to my faith and because of my friend who I’m the messages just got out of a relationship. I’ve been able to discover who I want to be and be more mature because I’m 22F and he’s 24F. We both communicate very well and when we do we figure it out but today since my friends broke up I’ve been scared of what comes next between this guy and I. He’s never been in a relationship and I have been the first girl who he’s been seeing romantically so he’s scared of commitment but not really. He wants us to try but I’m leaving to basic training we both live in San Antonio tx we’re just afraid what is to happen after tech school which will also be here. He wants me to be single and find who I am which is fine but we have been texting eachother all the time call everyday but I’m not sure what he wants out of this or what I should do because I am starting to fall in love with him nd so is he because he’s said it to me on accident but I asked him what he meant by that like as a friend or both and he said both. Help. Sister our plsss

Exactly what the title says. I feel like if I’m even asking if it’s weird, I already know the answer, but I’m wondering, he turned 17 in September, I’m turning 20 in February. We’ve literally only been talking a day so I know it’s like not that big of a deal to break things off but I lowkey still feel kinda bad. Is it a bad age gap? Do I just let him down gently?
I’m in the US for reference.

UPDATE: yall I get it now, I understand how weird it is. I was really just looking for what ppl think but I’ll admit is really weird. I’m not gonna continue talking to him like that.

so I was in school and my friend took my phone when I went to the bathroom and when I came back they had searched up porn on safari on my phone but nothing came up cause the school blocked since I was connected to teh school WiFi what do I do now I’m nervous cause what if they call me or something please help

My partner has brought up this kinda request and idea. He says he wants to try but only with me. We have been together for 6 years and our our sex life is amazing till date. Both of us have high drive in sex and we completely satisfy one another and highly compatible on bed. Sometimes we watch porn together and there’s not a single part of the body of one another which we did not explore.
So now the thing is he desires to try his fantasy with me which he has told me during our course of relationship and especially requested for MMF as he wants to actually see me on bed with different guy and wants to satisfy more. Awkward right? Actually i’ve never done any sort of this things yet and neither did he. Yes i do have fantasy but I don’t want to do that. He doesn’t force me but just brings it up sometimes when we are intimate. But he is very precise and strict when he told me that it should only exclusively together and not otherwise. He just want us to explore together as a couple. But i know myself that if i’ve liked it then c’mon i can make other arrangements of meeting alone maybe. So keeping everything in mind, I don’t want to try and ruin our relationship. I’ve already discussed about it with him and he too is scared of that because he knows me very well.

IMPORTANT CONTEXT: my ex cheated, then immediately broke up with me 3 weeks ago, we still live together, our lease ends in 2 weeks from now. my dad passed 2 months ago (mom already passed 10yrs ago) and i dont have my job anymore and have spent the rest of my money paying bills so i quite literally have nowhere to move out to right now. and trust i have asked extended family and my friends, i really have nowhere to go lol. so initially he was going to kick me out and expect me to just figure it out, but after telling him my only option is genuinely a homeless shelter, he considered it and said i can stay until i start work and can afford moving out on my own. (i am currently hired but in the process of onboarding). he has this friend from work that he recently talked to about being roommates, and that’s the current plan. me and my ex will still be sharing a room in a 2bed apartment. they’ve both said that since i cant pay for any moving in costs i have to he the ‘slave’ and do most of the moving and all of the housework/chores.

so this whole plan with the coworker roommate has genuinely developed in the span of the last 2 days. we are planning to move in there next week.

the past 2 nights, the 3 of us have been gaming together while ex is at work (night audit at hotel, he games all night at the front desk) and talking over discord vc. i’ve gotten acquainted with this guy and he seems pretty chill and funny, i dont see any problems with us not getting along. one thing i will note though, is that this guy is SUPER openly sexual. he’s a furry and really into sending us furry/anthro porn in the groupchat.

then this morning, my ex is asleep next to me in the bed, me and the roommate are texting in our 3 way discord groupchat. friendly playful banter. i made a pegging joke, then he starts bringing up pieces of bdsm gear that my ex and i share. (a paddle, a collar, etc) i was like umm, why do you know about that😭 and i was kinda uncomfortable. he said he knows other things too, and i asked him to tell me in a joking manner to not seem pissed, and he refused to divulge any other information but kept hinting he knew more but didnt wanna tell me. i dmed him privately and asked him to tell me a couple more times and that i wouldnt be mad. he wouldnt budge.

he also seemed kinda flirty? like he was holding the knowledge of my sexual kinks over my head in a ‘teasing’ way? and talking about how hes gonna go goon? other suggestive things too, mentioning me being into bdsm and idk it was super weird.

soooooooo obviously im really uncomfortable. my ex is still asleep next to me. what do i do

Sorry, I just really need to Vent rn.

So, I’ve been really into this girl I like named Vee, because she’s just so cute and pretty and charming. And today, infact literally minutes ago, I decided that I was gonna speak to her by apologising to her, since I had made some self-depreciating jokes which I’m not fully sure she got and I just wanted to apologise for looking like an idiot.

So, I walked up to her after the lesson ended, she was waiting for her friend because he forgot his coat and I walked up to her and I was like “Hey, I just wanted to say I’m sorry”, but at that moment I realised how stupid I sounded and I stumbled over my words and I never even explained what I was apologising for, making me sound even stupider. And then, I got cold feet and ran away.

This is just so fucking frustrating, I have so many fantasies about things I wanna do with her; I’ve literally been planning a trip to a caravan park with her and her friends but I’m not even on Stage 1 on the whole relationship, at this point I’m probably on fucking Stage -4. Like, why can’t I just talk to people, it’s so fucking annoying, like literally the other day I asked a group of kids for a charger and I almost throw up from how nervous I was. Like FUCJHCCHEISJ. It’s crazy, I just love her so much, I love her so much that she’s even starting to piss me off.

So, here’s what I’m gonna do next Monday (after half-term break), I got a Deadpool figurine and I’m gonna give that to her as an apology for how stupid I was. I think she likes Marvel, she has an Avengers backpack, Thor Hammer Keychain and whatevs, but then again, I have a Chicago Bulls Hoodie and I live in the UK.

Just help me please, and before anyone says; I am taking therapy and it’s not working.

​I can’t share this with anyone in my life, so I'm writing this here just to breathe and get it out of my chest.

​My husband (27M) and I (25F) have reached a point that is completely breaking me. We have no children, but I feel like I am raising an adult. In daily life, he is not a dominant or active partner at all. He takes zero initiative, avoids responsibility, and does the bare minimum only for basic body needs. I am currently supporting him entirely (including paying for our apartment) just as I did even back when I was a full-time student working while he made no extra effort despite having income.

​Instead of stepping up, he projects his own insecurities onto me. He constantly throws passive-aggressive "jokes" and accusations about how I’m going to leave him or how I must be cheating—yet he does absolutely nothing to change or improve our relationship.

​Despite his total passivity, he is deeply controlling over my freedom. When I want to go to a bar in the evening with his own sister, he completely loses it, claiming me going out is a direct "disrespect to him as a man." Daytime errands with her are fine, but an evening out triggers aggressive control disguised as "male pride." He doesn't earn leadership through actions; he just tries to enforce it through restrictions.

​This dynamic extends into the bedroom. He initiates nothing, puts in zero effort, and then gets angry at me for not giving him intimacy—expecting me to carry all the emotional, physical, and financial labor.

​Recently, I went on a coffee "date" with another man, and I intend to keep seeing him. I know how that sounds, and I'm not looking for judgment. Nothing physical happened, there was no intimacy, but the contrast completely shattered my reality. This guy was a total gentleman, highly educated, and genuinely dominant in a confident, masculine way. He picked me up, handled everything, and led the entire evening seamlessly.

​Even simple, non-intimate gestures like a confident hand guiding me at my back through a doorway, or helping me out of the car had a completely different energy. He knew how to present himself and take charge so naturally that my body actually responded to his presence, without me having to direct or manage a single second.

​For the first time in years, I felt what it was like to be looked after and stay in my feminine energy, rather than acting as a provider and manager to an insecure partner who guilt-trips me.

​I am grieving the realization that my marriage is a hollow cage where I am being financially and emotionally drained by someone who punishes me for wanting to live. Untangling our shared apartment, finances, and life isn't something that happens overnight, and I am just exhausted trying to figure out how to breathe in all of this.

I wanna meet people like really badly but im like really scared to actually go meet people 😭 i'm scared they will be dangerous. And I know i'm gonna be awkward asf

I want to meet people but i'm thinking of uninstalling the app because i'm afraid. And I don't want to end up texting someone and then like them and then get scared and back out.

So idk if I should uninstall it or if I should keep it and just try my hardest to do it

I am in nursing school and a couple of my classmates from Jamaica (edit got that wrong born in canada parents are Jamaican) told me that they are all unvaccinated and that they have someone who fakes vaccination documents for them. Mind you we will be working with vulnerable and immunocompromised people. They got mad at me for the look I gave them and I’m really not sure how to deal with this situation. I truly worry for their patients.

so i (17F) noticed a few things through our relationship, he wont listen to certain bands, hates types of jewellery, and small things because of her, i didn’t think this was a huge deal since i would just avoid doing these things or having them, however, last night we went to a gig in our city with some mutual friends, he’d had a bad day at work and had already taken some of his stress out on me by arguing over literal nothing, we resolved this as he apologised before the gig began, during the gig was perfectly fine, but by the time our group had left, he was drunk.

the group decided they did not want to go home yet, i was tired and wanted to get the train back but decided to stay to not feel left out, during this, he said his exes name twice before calling me his exes name.

for some background info, him and his ex were extremely toxic, together for a year and he really ‘hates’ her now.

after this, i walked off and went to get the train, he called me and was mad at me for leaving without saying bye after he’d just called me his ex, we talked about it later last night and attempted to resolve it.

we hadn’t spoken much today, until he finished work, which i then get a call from him going mental about how ‘his ex is stealing his friends’ and going to his regular pub.

i struggle with my mental health and he knows this, and his constant talk of her really makes me paranoid that he doesn’t actually hate her, and isn’t over her. i want to bring this up to him but based on how he acted yesterday with arguing over nothing, i don’t imagine that conversation will go well

if anyone has any advice / similar situations please let me know

Throwaway for a very good reason. Bear with me, this just happened and my thoughts are all over the place.

I (19M) have been living with my cousin (22F) for 2 years now. Recently her mom ( my aunt) got remarried and went to her marriage home. This left me, my cousin, her little sister and my 2 much older brothers. We've always been really friendly with each other but as of recent, our humor had begun to take a turn for the inappropriate, then I offered, one day, to give her a massage. Nothing came from it, because her best friend was with us in the room, but during that massage, my mind was filled with thoughts I shouldn't have about my cousin.

What bothered me the most is I wasn't bothered by this at all. I know that makes no fucking sense but it's the best way I can put it. The humorous exhange only got worse, until today. She asked for another massage, mentally I was on the rocks about the idea of touching her after the thoughts I'd had last time, but I was chill with it. Mind you, we live in the house equivalent of a matchbox, so she shares a room with her little sis. The massage started fine, but I had an erection. She felt it and when I expected her to bad mouth me about it, she kept quiet. Very quickly the massage went out of hand and eventually, we touched each other inappropriately and we found ourselves on the floor. This is when we had sex.

It all happened so fast. When it was over, she asked me to leave. U got the hell outta there and now, I'm staring at the ceiling in bed. I don't know how to feel, and I don't know what to do. I just lost my virginity to my cousin, who is in a relationship too. I texted her immediately. She says she's on birth control so that gives me some solace, but she's so dismissive about this. She at least acknowledged that this should not have happened. I asked for us to talk in the morning, but she's interested in us forgetting about this completely. I'm so lost as to how we move from this. How do I look her in the eye? I'm so scared. What if she somehow gets pregnant? What if her boyfriend finds out, god, what if our family finds out. I'm losing my fucking mind right now. I can't sleep. What do I do?