“Thanks to our years of conflict, this chair is actually designed to deal with all your friends, so if they’re being annoying you’ll never find yourself without recourse.”
"By which I mean..."
"Yeah, I got it. What about stairs?"
"This button sets it to float smoothly over stairs. And this one crushes the stairs into a ramp."
Boom eggman is literally just the doofensmirtz of the sonic franchise. They're basically frenemies above all else because the overwhelming majority of his schemes are fueled by mild and petty inconveniences. The only thing that separates the 2 characters is that eggman doesn't care if someone gets hurt as a result of what he does whereas doof does.
Plenty? Those rings are gold. If he's 100 cm tall, then the rings are like to 40 cm with 8-10 cm diameter. Let's go with the lower number.
Major radius would be 16 cm with the tube radius 4 cm. The volume then is 5050 cm cubed. Gold is 19.32 g per cm cubed. That means each ring is 97.6 kg or 215 lbs. Convert that to troy ounces at 3140 troy ounces. Gold is like $4340 per troy ounce atm.
First, my dude is jacked to be carrying that much weight per coin and maintaining that speed. Second, a single ring is like $13.627 million. He'd only need like 0.2% (rounded up) of a ring to afford that. Or he could just but like....500 of them. And he'd probably get a discount so like 555.
How do we know they aren't hollow polished brass tube with walls barely thick enough to stop them crumpling when handled or dropped? They could even be shiny plastic, like that fake chrome that's on a lot of things.
Honestly, assuming Sonic got too old and frail to be a nuisance to him anymore, I wouldn't be surprised if he hooked him up just to get rid of him. Not like his tech couldn't also keep tabs on him too.
As someone from the US, this is disparaging to third world countries. Thanks to the presence of international aid organizations, they usually have access to more free health care than the US.
He could run the public speaker circuit for pretty much as long as he wanted to or sign brand deals. As long as he wasn’t a literal terrorist according to the government, he’ll be fine.
Wholesome!? A man whose entire identity, whose very purpose in life, is running, tragically loses that ability. Broken and desperate, he’s forced to depend on a man obsessed with global domination, recreational animal cruelty, and turning pristine ecosystems into parking lots.
A man Sonic sacrificed his knees to stop.
Now Sonic faces two choices: bend the knee to his greatest enemy, or miss a single jump, splatter against the pavement, and watch his life’s savings explode out of his corpse in the form of golden rings.
Nah it's wholesome. Age comes for us all. Look at Sonic, he's already accepted and came to terms with his mortality. And the man you claim is obsessed with global domination? He's reformed now, and is an honest shopkeeper, all is forgiven by Sonic, see, they look so chill together. Totes trustworthy PhD holder, I'd pass all my rings to him, totally no ulterior motives.
Am middle-aged. Look like shit now, and will no matter what I do, but could've been a male model when I was younger if I'd worked out more. 100% can confirm lol.
This reminds of that one spiderman page where spidey says "With that technology, you could cure cancer!" And the villain says "But I don't want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs!"
Somewhat related, I had a Chiropractor (I know) who took a look at my hip (he knew I had perthes) and went “yeah, go see a specialist surgeon about this, I can help a bit with the pain but I’m not going to be able to do shit” and gave me the name of a hip surgeon (who said he didn’t like chiropractors funnily) who was amazing throughout the process.
Yeah, I’ve been to a few ones before I got a bit anti chiro, but he is definitely the best one I’ve had, he says when he can’t do or alleviate something and recommends others like Physio’s and obviously my surgeon.
Semi related, before I got my perthes diagnosis I was seeing a physio at my GP clinic since the doctors thought it was a bursa. I went to a different one a few months later since the clinic one didn’t seem to do anything. My new physio did some tests with my hip (plus an x-ray I had) and went “that’s not a bursa, it’s a bigger issue” and gave me some exercises. Eventually, I passed out one day from the pain, went to the hospital, and a x-ray showed my hip had worn way more than usual, and now I had a hip replacement lol
There's literally 0 science behind chiropractic. Like 0.00000. Every single serious study made on the field found no evidence of anything.
The only thing tangentially related is mobilization, which is one thing PT does. Basically just forcing a movement you have trouble with to open up the path.
Thing is, this is highly irritant like everything chiropractors do, so PT do it rather parsimoniously.
But even then, this is basically the equivalent of stretching something, it's just that you can't stretch your neck or your back in so many ways, so it's just precisely directed.
And if you just lightly stretch something once in a while, it's pointless lol You need to do mobilization and reinforcement exercises everyday on your own to achieve anything.
The idea you can simply be stretched a bit every two weeks and be healed is ludicrous on its face.
I love that, even though this is sad, Sonic and Eggman seem like good friends who would enjoy going to bingo on the weekends or something. Maybe golf since they can take a cart around instead of walking
May I direct you to Chalkeater’s song "Crushing in your thirties" which talks about this exact scenario and is sung by the person behind a lot of songs in the Sonic series ^^
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u/LordBammith 12h ago
“And this button drops a large wrecking ball that dangles by a chain.”