r/Millennials • u/CantSocial • 14h ago
Discussion Is it that time already?
I just turned 40. I went to a new gym last night and did a class. After the class, the coach (who could have been anywhere like 25 to early 30s) was super nice and chatty and asked me about my fitness goals. I said "well, I just turned 40..." and was about to talk about how I want to ramp up my fitness to honor the milestone and I got interrupted with, "40?? You look great!!"
Now I'm wondering if he was early 20s. Was not expecting that response. Anyone else fell it's a bit premature?
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u/mildchicanery 13h ago
Just wait until you say your age and someone DOESN'T act surprised. That's a kick in the metaphorical nuts.
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u/BottecchiaDude253 12h ago
Or when you make a "fuck im so old" joke, and they dont immediately respond with "but youre not old", lol
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u/RegularOrMenthol 11h ago
It happened so fast too. From shocked at you being 38, to “checks out” at 41.
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u/mildchicanery 9h ago
Yep. Honestly, the deadpan response to my age just spurred me to get microneedling, Botox, and start investing in more face creams at 46. Lol
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u/LegitSoDickBig 14h ago
Early 40s!? And your skin isn’t sloughing off? And you don’t look undead!? Incredible…
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u/Long_Reindeer3702 13h ago
They let me out of the crypt and dusted off the cobwebs! Just a little touch up with the spray paint and I'll be looking as good as new, darling.
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u/Exciting-Purchase340 14h ago
Its not personal. Its a pre loaded reaponse with no real motivation behind it other than thinking thats what u want to hear. Id bet a years wages youre a woman.
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u/redwood_rambler 14h ago
The waitress is really into me guys!
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u/SkyYellow_SunBlue 13h ago
OP just finding out how customer facing jobs work. Better late than never.
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u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight 7h ago
I may be wrong but I don't think OP was under an illusion he was into her... she just seems to have thought 40 wasn't old enough to start hearing the "you look great for your age" comments
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u/Bora_Horza_Gobuchol Millennial 91' 13h ago
I worked retail in my late teens early 20s, sometimes I would tell the costumer they looked younger,.of course because i never knew what to say.
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u/AlwaysCalculating 8h ago
Right. Not only did I not know the right response, it also helped me receive a positive reaction EVERY time from the customer I said it to.
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u/Ok_Leek1864 13h ago
I’m 40. I go to my local smoke shop for papers and see a guy who works there on the regular. He’s gorgeous, and I knew he was super young, so when he started flirting with me, I was floored. I waited until the 5th time I saw him, when he finally asked for my number. I asked him how old he was and how old he thought I was. He thought I was 27. He is 22 💀💀💀 I told him my age and asked if it changed his mind. He said no, LMAO. I told him I was flattered, but that I had a boyfriend and was too old for him. But GOTDAMN, what an ego boost. He looks a lot like Luigi. sigh
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u/mickeyanonymousse Millennial 10h ago
yeah honestly younger people assume everyone is around their same age because someone who looks “old” is like 60+ to them
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u/Altruistic-Dig-2094 Xennial 6h ago
I recently had a hysterectomy and one of the nurses prepping me for the OR said I didn’t look my age and genuinely seemed sincere. I gave my usual response (“it’s because I decided not to have kids!”). I can’t believe that everyone is being honest when they tell me that but damn if it doesn’t make me feel good in the moment!
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u/HappyColoredMarblez 5h ago
Something similar just happened to me yesterday! I was at an appointment and the nurse (late 40s/early 50s if I had to guess) was like "Wow I can't believe you're 36, I thought you were like 28!"
Not the first time I've been told I look younger, but I could tell she was being genuine. I also don't have kids and a few other contributing factors (oily skin, hypermobile, sensitive eyes so always wore sunglasses/stay out of direct sunlight, always wearing converse, and have always been a lil thicc)
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u/teatsqueezer 5h ago
Happened to me with my most recent mammogram. They ask you your birthdate as a stop check when you sign in. And she said “I never would have guessed!”
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u/CrankySleuth 11h ago
People in their 20s and even 30s really have skewed ideas if what 40 will look like
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u/trolldoll26 11h ago
A friend’s younger sister (early 20s) asked me how old I was when we were at a bachelorette party together and I told her I was 35. She had this very shocked look on her face and said “that’s okay!!!!” and I think about it all the time and crack up 😂
I don’t really take offense to people reacting to my age! At one point I also thought that anyone over 25 was old.
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u/McPrime85 9h ago
A lot of people think I'm ten years younger than I am. I'm 41 and continue to surprise people when I tell them they're wrong when they guess my age. You should be able to tell if it's genuine or not too, I mean, you have 40 years experience.They may be trying to be nice but take it as a compliment, don't dwell on it and consider it something nice you just heard considering how much bullshit exists in our world today.
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u/CantSocial 8h ago
I think that's why it surprised me so much, because I read it as very genuine. People are saying in here that they were just trying to sell me a gym membership but we were well past that part of the conversation (and I agree 40 years of experience, I can tell the difference) I wasn't offended, just taken off guard :)
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u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight 7h ago
I think people especially in the top comment thread are thinking/saying that you thought he was hitting on you.
I was about to comment and defend you saying you didn't seem to think that, you just didn't expect a cliche backhanded age related platitude. Your reaction was not "He's interested?" But " am I already old enough now to be told that I look great for my age?"
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u/likesblackcoffeebest 14h ago edited 14h ago
lol I think the only reason my CrossFit coach who was 27 when I started at this gym (I was 40) didn't say that was because his husband is my age. These days he roasts us both at parties. lol We are going to throw the most lovingly disrespectful party when he turns 40, we're already planning on it (7 years to go! lol)
40 is so old to anyone whose age starts with a 2, but everyone learns eventually when they get there that it's what you make it
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u/Strawberrybanshee 13h ago
I remember thinking 30 was so old, even at 29. And them I turn 30 and was like, you know what, this isn't so bad.
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u/Ohorules 13h ago
My boss turned 30 when I was 21. It seemed ancient. I also remember in my mid 20s drinking at the bar with a friend during another friend's dad's birthday party. Her uncle was surprised because we didn't look over 21. Later we realized we couldn't tell if he was 70 or 90 so it was basically the same thing in reverse.
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u/Strawberrybanshee 9h ago
I do think boomers look younger than their parents did at their current age. The greatest looked ancient and decrepit in their 70s. A lot of boomers are still out and about and don't need an effort. The ones that have passed on, it seems it was a quick de line and then gone where I remember do many of the greatest having very slow years long decline.
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u/fading_relevancy 13h ago
Literally right before opening reddit and seeing this post I was reminiscing on how great my 30s were and how shit my 40s have been. Well my 40s have been shakey at best, but the hardest shit so far.
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u/EaglesFanGirl 14h ago
i get that all the time - people think i'm 30 despite my weight. no grays, yet. For me, i think its my hair color. Redheads age differently that most of the population.
i've heard millenials have aged well - not sure why. I think we've shocked out bodies so much that they are just stuck the way they are forever...
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u/Mail_Order_Lutefisk Gen X 13h ago
Red hair goes from red to 80% white in about a year and at that phase it will look glorious for a few years and then it will be undeniably white one morning when you wake up. Assuming you haven’t smoked or drank yourself to the point of pickling and you stayed out of the sun you will go from 32 to 50 in a year.
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u/heartsoflions2011 32m ago
Can confirm. I stopped dying my hair while pregnant at 36, and damn if I didn’t get some monster “racing stripes” almost immediately. Half the photos I’m in, it looks like I’m balding because my hair was so light.
A 2mo NICU stay, terrible sleeper baby turned terrible sleeper toddler, L1 ASD diagnosis for the kiddo, and a couple extra helpings of anxiety later….oof. Not sure it’s even worth trying to cover up now lol
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u/Strawberrybanshee 13h ago
A lot of boomer moms cut their hair short. That will significantly age you. When then need an actor to look younger they will have them grow out their hair.
There was also that perm many got and for many it just didn't look good. Or maybe it was done badly? Maybe it wasn't take care of well? Curly hair well taken care of can look great. But many just didn't have the face shape to pull off their chosen length and/or curls.
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u/krispytatertotz 12h ago
I have a pixie and I think it makes me look younger than I am in a weird turn of events
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u/Slow_Savings4489 13h ago
IMHO we are not aging faster or slower but our perception is that we are still ourselves. As a kid, e.g., Casey Jones was an adult, and so I still saw him as an adult in TMNT; same again with the lead Shoot Guy in Die Hard.
But me? Oh, sure, I have wrinkles and gray in my beard and hair, but, as Goldfinger sang: "growing older all the time, feeling younger in my mind."
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u/RoyalEagle0408 14h ago
I just turned 41 and started a new job. I am a professor so my CV has the years I was in college and all my experience and people can figure my age out. Anyway, my colleagues constantly assume I am significantly younger. Not to mention my students.
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u/Helpmepullupmypants 13h ago
Ah yes, just went through updating my resume not too long ago and removed the dates from my college years and dates from previous jobs. Degree still there, prior work experience, achievements still there, but they don’t need to know the year, right?
It’s just that time
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u/backyardnellie 8h ago
When I was 33, I was helping a new grad at work. I said in passing, “Well yeah I’m like 10 years older than you.” His response was, “Aw!!! Don’t say that. You’re not THAT old.”
Kid, that wasn’t self-deprecating humor.. I’m literally 10 years older than you 😅
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u/Aliteracy Millennial, 88 but not a Nazi 9h ago
Pretty sure that's just a preloaded platitude. What were you expecting, a yikes thought you were 50?
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u/iceprncss5 Xennial 4h ago
I think most are genuine when they say that. It’s easy to know when someone is putting you on or selling you something. I’m 44 and I get the surprised thing a lot also. Generally people think I’m about 10 years younger. Tbf I lucked out with my family’s genes. I do know if/when that stops it’ll hurt a bit lol Now when I started getting called ma’am that was rough!
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u/desertforestcreature 5h ago
I'll turn 39 soon. I think I look my age, but good for my age. I'm hiding under a beard and incredibly fortunate long man hair. Idk how people don't see the bags under my eyes and crows feet. That's all I see.
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u/CicadaSecure526 2h ago
I'm 37. In training for a new job today, one of the other trainees thought I was 22. I know I look young for my age, but come on. Shit is actually wild.
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u/OPinkPumpkinO 14h ago
Haha
I got same reaction by my gym trainer when he asked my age to enter to fill details.
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u/Ok-Syllabub-8087 13h ago
I always feel like people think you just fall apart after 30 and are going to look horrible.
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u/Sad_Net_609 13h ago
I’m 37, my mom posted a picture of me on her fb. Her horned up menopausal friends asked if I was a male model for romance novels then my aunt “he looks so young”
My older sister was picking on me for it lol
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u/Nightthrasher674 12h ago
I officially turned 41 today, most people assume I'm in my early 30s, I don't have any grey hair and I shaved my head completely bald after my hair started thinning in my late 20s.
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u/venom121212 11h ago
I was at a PEV event where nerds race electric skateboards, onewheels, scooters, bikes, etc a few weekends ago chatting with some riders from out of town. I mentioned my anniversary and how it was going to be 14 years and jaws dropped when I said I was 35. I'm not a very social person outside of my weird hobby so I was stoked to hear them guess I was 25.
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u/otherwisepandemonium 11h ago
I'll be 37 in a few days and some of my coworkers in their early twenties thought I was just a few years older than them and wouldn't believe I was born in 1989 until I showed my license. Feelsgoodman.jpg
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u/Friendly_Engineer_ Millennial 9h ago
I was in line at the airport and chatting with a young looking mom. Turns out she was a Cars fan and mentioned the movie just had a 20 year anniversary and that the movie was as old as her. I said wow that’s crazy, I can’t believe it’s been that long! I was in college when it came out!
She said ‘oh you can’t tell’ lol
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u/joefreshhhh 12h ago
Lmao. You are probably the type of dude that thinks waitresses and strippers really like him. Don't think too much into it, man. They most likely say that to EVERYONE.
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u/Justdoingitagain 14h ago
Were they interested possibly??
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u/Shenstar2o Zillennial 13h ago
As a 31yo that still get id checked for 15+ products by younger cashiers i don't get annoyed anymore. They changed the law anyway because us millenials look so young.
Now they are forced to ask ID from anyone that looks under 50 when buying 18+ products. It used to be under 30 couple years back. Obviously if you go to same stores often they don't bother because they already know your age.
Here gambling, alcohol and tobacco products are 18+. Only thing i can think that is 15+ are energy drinks.
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