In 2008, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin lymphoma. After my initial treatment, I went into remission and received the James Cancer Hospital Courage Award. About a year and a half later, my cancer relapsed. I underwent aggressive chemotherapy and an autologous stem cell transplant, but the transplant failed. In 2012, I received a new immunotherapy treatment called brentuximab vedotin. My treatment plan called for 16 cycles, but after just five, my scans were clear. I never needed another transplant. I’m now approaching 15 years cancer-free. During the darkest part of that journey, when I was too sick to work with glass, I folded and hand-colored 1,615 origami cranes. Years later, I brought 1,000 of them together into this Senbazuru artwork.
Something I created when I was struggling just to survive became a symbol of hope, perseverance, and the life I was fortunate enough to continue living.

I have one that I go to so often and I’m wondering if anyone else has something like this. Mine is “what if this was awesome” or, if awesome is too out of reach in that moment, “what if this was fine”. Just contemplating what it would take for me to get to “awesome” or “fine” makes me realize that it’s very often not a huge stretch. If things are boring, hard, strenuous, painful, etc. this is something that directly impacts how I respond.

tried getting all my stuff done in the first half of the day and leaving the evening just to relax without feeling guilty about it. it's easier for me to focus in the morning and not get distracted, and by the time evening came i was actually glad i did it, could finally chill without thinking about all the things i still needed to do

As the title says I was very close to passing my cfa level 3 exam in feb this year but missed it by just 5 points last time.

Now I have cleared it and don't get me wrong I was super happy initially . Like I was sure as shit saying I will fail and all but I did pass and was lesgo!

But now come to think of it I really did not actually pass? My goal was to pass that exam in feb and not in aug. I am really behind my goals. This was supposed to be done and dusted in feb and not aug so I did not actually pass ?

Idk maybe I am overthinking but I do feel kinda sad?

What is happening to me?Am i weird?

normal people are happy when they pass?

Today I fixed my K12 Bluetooth speaker and I'm so proud of myself.

I noticed that it's not charging since yesterday. It's not that expensive so my first thought is to just buy a new one - which I do NOT want to do coz it's sorta brand new and I honestly love it (it even comes with 2x matching microphones!). So this morning, I googled how to fix it... and I will myself to try.

I won't bore you with the detail steps but, as I'm living a slow life now (from my previous fast life), I learned that it's ok to slow down, pause, take a step back, re-assess, and make the 1st step. If it doesn't work out, I pause, took a deeeeep breathe, and try different ways.

One hour (probably less) of pure focused attention in silence, willing myself to give my best, try my hardest. And when I got there in the end, I found myself in tears. Haha

Ahhhhh it's cool to do things for yourself. I hope you do something for yourself today too.

It's easy to encourage someone else when they're having a hard time.

But when it's our own mistake, suddenly we're so much harsher.

I've been trying to catch myself when I start thinking I should have done better, worked harder, or figured everything out already.

Sometimes the most useful thing you can tell yourself is that you can try again tomorrow.

I used to set big goals that felt important in the moment, then lose the thread once the initial push wore off and the daily stuff started feeling random again. A couple months back I tried Improve Myself app after hearing about the weekly reflection research, and the setup had me spell out the actual obstacles instead of just listing outcomes. It turned that into a short daily Blueprint with specific actions and a quick journal note, so the motivation piece became more about checking whether the thing I did matched what I said I wanted rather than waiting to feel ready. The learner identity angle made it click differently too, less about forcing progress and more about treating the small steps as proof I could actually shift the pattern.

The daily tasks stay short enough that I don’t talk myself out of them, but the journal keeps me honest about whether I’m just staying busy or actually moving toward the clearer outcome. How long did it take before your daily actions started feeling connected to the bigger picture instead of just another checklist? And what made the difference between goals you dropped and ones that stuck once the early motivation faded?

You can be responsible, kind, hardworking, pay your bills, avoid unnecessary drama, and somehow wake up wondering when exactly your life became something you just maintain instead of enjoy. The funniest part is that everyone congratulates you for having your shit together while you're quietly wondering what the shit was supposed to be for. Maybe a midlife crisis isn't a crisis at all; it's just the first time someone stops being impressed with their own ability to function.

Context:

• I am 39 and have been a high-achiever for the majority of my life. I've also historically been an over-giver, but I've been working on changing that.
• I have 10 years of business-related and graphic design education (two diplomas and a degree) and feel like I have nothing to show for it.
• I am currently self-employed and have been for the past four years after getting coldly and unexpectedly fired from my last job. Losing that job left a residue on my confidence that I still can't seem to brush off.
• I need to reenter the workforce because my current income will not sustain me long-term, but my soul is resisting reentering the corporate world. I don't know what jobs to look at anymore.
• I have no friends, feel disconnected from the rest of the world, and miss being around people. I've always been able to maneuver my way socially, but I've never really belonged anywhere. I haven't hung out with a non-family member in over two years, and that connection was somewhat superficial and has since faded out. It's rare that I've been able to attract likeminded people who genuinely care and put in the effort once a connection has been established. The only place I can realistically see myself making any friends at this point is at the gym I go to, but I haven't been going consistently enough, and that's something I need to work on.
• I feel like I've closed myself off even though that's never been my intention. I have generally lost trust in people and think it has been affecting the way I see new people I come across. I've also gotten tired of trying to be someone worth holding on to. I'm always on the alert and expecting history to repeat itself. It's incredibly lonely some days even though I can comfortably enjoy my own company. And despite having family, I feel like I'm doing life alone.
• I moved in with my parents when I went back to school for a third time at 30 and have been living with them since then. There is a lot of tension and negativity in the household, and it's been like that since I was a kid.
• I constantly get compared to others, and there's not much encouragement or support when it comes to the things I'm working toward, so I don't share much with them. I get degrading comments on my education, how I went to school for so many years and supposedly did nothing for myself, how I'm working from home and should be out in the real world, and how I should have accomplished more by now.
• My parents are old-school. My mom is in her late 60s and my dad is in his early 70s, and they both raised me with an iron fist. Despite us not always seeing eye-to-eye, I still love them and do everything I can to help. Watching their health decline weighs on me everyday, and I feel a sense of duty to be there for them as much as I can, which has meant making personal sacrifices.
• My brother's wife passed away three years ago and left five kids behind. The three youngest kids are at our place nearly everyday, and my brother heavily relies on my elderly parents, so it's always chaotic. I give the kids as much of my time as I can, but I also spend most of my time in my room just to preserve my peace and sanity.
• I am managing my dad's debt situation and making personal contributions toward it. I have two older siblings who are pretty much absent from my life and don't care to step in to help with my dad's situation.
• I have a long list of things I need to get done for my business, and I get mentally pulled in every direction, trying to figure it all out at once. There are days when I'll be sitting at my desk and staring at my screen with the intention to get stuff done, and I get stuck. Then I start turning to distractions. I have closets and drawers full of items that still need photographing and listing, and they've been sitting there for months. I have a book that was supposed to be completed by now, and it's been sitting unfinished for several years. I'm at 193 pages and feel ashamed that I let it drag so long, especially when people know about its work-in-progress. I have new ideas for my online stores (I manage four at the moment) that I can't seem to implement because the mountain of tasks I have to get done is weighing on me.
• I invested in two social media related programs years ago that were intended to help me gain knowledge and strategies for my businesses, and I never got around to doing them.
• I have a 20k+ audience on Instagram, and that number just makes me feel even more alone. I've been inactive on there for over 6 months, and I suspect some people may be wondering what happened with my writing stuff, particularly the people who have been following my work since the start. I have a hard time posting for the sake of posting and feel like a fraud if I do, so I don't.
• I'm a highly organized and structured person, yet I feel scattered. I can establish what needs to get done and follow a plan, and I do well in that space, but since I'm self-employed, everything rests on my shoulders and there's no one to keep me in check. And because of that, I fear I've been a little lax even though there's constant pressure and a need to scale my businesses.

On the work front, I'm not understanding why it's become difficult for me to just move into action. In my mind, I know things need to be taken one step at a time, but even knowing that does nothing for my brain, and I keep repeating the same cycle of distracting myself to avoid the weight of the overwhelm.

_____

TL;DR: I feel defeated and stuck at 39 and am having a hard time getting out of the slump I'm in.

Thought I'd share my video here. It's actually my diary..

I'm on a path to the skies. - My ultimate dream of being able to fly.

I'm just a random hiker. I feel relaxed and at peace when I hike a trail, a hill, .. nature somehow heals my brain lol.

But I have a dream of flying down instead of walking.

In my diary, you will not see 4k pro videos of great paragliders doing stunts and acrobatics.

What you will see is a state of mind of a (i guess a weird) person, with a clear goal. And all the questions / obstacles and everything this guy stumbles at on his journey.

Recorded in a raw, unedited, real style that may not be popular.. but it is sincere.

Hopefully it motivates other people to start making their dreams come true as well.

Let me know your thoughts.

There's a tag on the canal bridge I cycle under each day going to the shop. Rough black letters saying NO GROWTH IN COMFORT. Somebody painted over it in February and I actually felt gutted, like I'd lost a colleague. Then last month it came back, messier this time, and I laughed out loud on my bike.

I think about that line when I'm afraid to try something new. Which is frequently. Started keeping a bread journal because my sourdough kept collapsing and I needed to see patterns. The first twenty loaves were bricks. Loaf thirty-one actually rose. I photographed it like it was a degree certificate.

The cycling helps too. Forty minutes of pedalling and my brain stops rehearsing worst-case scenarios about whether I belong in my course or if the younger students notice how long I take with the online portal. Movement quiets the static.

What small routine or random thing has unexpectedly kept you going? Not the big motivational gestures. The tiny almost embarrassing ones. I'm curious about the actual mechanics of how people stay in motion.

Hello everyone, it’s my first time posting here. I’ll get straight to the point. I find myself feeling sooo unmotivated whenever I need to complete a drawing or animation. Everytime I draw the same frame over and over again feels like I’m getting nowhere. I get so bored out of my mind and a great sense of restlessness I end up just doing other things. I need some advice with this :’)

We often measure progress by what we can show other people: a better job, more money, a degree, a relationship, a healthier body, or some visible achievement.

But what about the progress nobody sees?

The person who finally sets a boundary after years of saying yes to everything. The person who applies for another job after dozens of rejections. Someone who starts learning something new at 40, 50, or 60. Someone who gets out of bed and takes care of themselves during a difficult period.

None of these accomplishments necessarily comes with applause, recognition, or an immediate reward.

And sometimes, the hardest part of personal growth isn't making progress. It's continuing when you have very little evidence that your efforts are working.

I wonder how much motivation we lose because we're comparing our private struggles with other people's visible achievements.

Maybe progress isn't always about moving faster. Sometimes it's about changing direction, learning what doesn't work, or developing the courage to try again.

So here's my question: Have you ever looked back at a period when you thought you were going nowhere, only to realize later that you were actually making meaningful progress?

What changed your perspective?

I'd especially love to hear from people who started over later in life, experienced setbacks, or found themselves taking a completely different path than the one they originally imagined.

I can’t shake the feeling of being lost in my 30’s. My friend group has moved away and I live in a small town, where it has proven hard to make new connections. That also leaks into my dating life. I’m not sure if it is a change in algorithm or what, but the last 3-years I’ve struggled not finding anyone I’m interested in. The ones I am interested in are a minimum of 2h away and it’s been difficult juggling work with a dating life like that. The result is I’ve kind of given up a little. I’ve thought about moving a lot lately, but my parents are going through some health issues and I fear leaving them at this time. I also don’t love my job. I don’t hate it either, but I’ve had persistent thoughts about changing it and have recently applied to another program in another province just to see.

My main concern is I’ve felt like I’ve been in limbo for years now and I’ve felt very aimless about where my future is heading, particularly in companionship. Dating is really rough in my city and It seems I’m not the only one to think so since it has been a common theme on our subreddit. But I’ve also really felt the lack of community. I want to do things and go to events. I’ve tried myself and I just can never mame any new connections.

Most people think motivation comes first for you to do stuff. I wait for the good morning to come to do stuff.

But it never comes.

One Tuesday I had something to do but no motivation, so I started a timer for ten minutes and promised myself I will quit when it rang.

I didn’t quit.

I worked for two hours, and then time later, motivation came.

That one stupid timer changed how I work.

I learned that motivation happens after you start, not before.

I run a successful company in Miami and I can no longer wait for that good morning to come, and some of my best work has come on days I felt completely flat.

What actually gets you moving on the days you feel nothing at all?

At the start of last month, I had an objective of going to bed on time every night of September. A very ambitious goal for someone who struggles of bedtime procrastination, but I was committed and motivated.

Everything went according to plan until the last week of the month when I started to feel this is done and I achieved my goal. Then I started to feel like it doesn’t matter, I already made it when in reality I did not. I know it’s silly to have such a goal because building a habit doesn’t work like this (and btw I’m very proud of myself for the 27 nights), but it still bothers me that the month wasn’t perfect like I hoped for. So to the question: how to stick committed to my goals when it feels like I almost already made it?

Look at the excuses you come up with for reasons why you failed to complete a task. If a large amount of money would have motivated you to complete the task, then it was simply a matter of motivation.

Saturday morning lifting motivation 🙂

https://youtu.be/v79hGgLvF4E?si=-hmbtZJSwYkf7kc2

7:25 "Words like integrity, honor, discipline, and character are lost in society"

RIP

Not my video

The way to balance ambition with the human need for joy is to realize that ambition will give success, achievement, pleasure, name, fame, money, power, but it will not give eternal happiness. If we truly want lasting joy, happiness, bliss, then we have to evolve from achievement to fulfillment and contentment and then to Enlightenment. Fulfillment gives peace, Enlightenment gives purpose. Otherwise, we will only have pleasure, and we will never be truly happy.

I noticed something embarrassing about my motivation: I could work on a goal for weeks in private, but the moment someone started expecting me to follow through, I wanted to stop doing it.

It wasn't even criticism. Sometimes it was the opposite.

I'd mention that I was learning something new or working on a personal project, and someone would say, "That's actually cool. You should keep going with that." Suddenly, the thing I'd been enjoying felt like an obligation I'd accidentally signed up for.

I started noticing it in small ways. I'd avoid opening the project when I knew someone might ask about it. I'd postpone working on it the evening before meeting a friend. If nobody remembered what I'd told them, I'd feel this weird sense of relief.

The uncomfortable part was that I genuinely wanted the result. I wasn't pretending to care about the goal. I just seemed to lose some of my willingness to pursue it once it became something other people could measure.

For a while, I thought the solution was to tell more people about my plans so I'd have accountability. But that sometimes made me focus more on how I'd explain my progress than on the actual work. I'd mentally prepare an update before I'd even done anything worth updating them about.

What helped was making a few small changes.

First, I stopped announcing goals while they were still vague. Instead of telling someone I was going to get good at something, I'd mention the specific thing I'd been practicing that week. It made the conversation less about a future version of me and more about what I was actually doing.

Second, when someone asked how it was going, I tried answering honestly without turning it into a report. "I worked on it twice this week, but I got stuck on this part" was enough. I didn't need to make the progress sound impressive or promise to do more next week.

Third, I started keeping some goals completely private, not as a secret or a rule, but simply because I enjoyed having something in my life that didn't need an explanation.

The counterintuitive thing I've found is that accountability doesn't always make me more consistent. Sometimes it makes me perform consistency. I start worrying about looking committed instead of figuring out what would actually help me continue.

I still think sharing goals can be useful, especially when someone can offer practical help or when another person genuinely depends on me. I just don't think every personal ambition benefits from becoming a public commitment.

I'm still figuring out where the line is between healthy accountability and feeling watched, because sometimes the same person can help me keep going with one goal and make another feel strangely heavy.

Has anyone else noticed their motivation change after telling people what they're working toward? Did sharing your goals help you follow through, or did keeping them private make it easier to actually enjoy the process?