r/3amjokes • u/Lulzorr • Mar 25 '24
Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.
This is not /r/darkjokes.
This is not /r/askreddit.
This is not /r/oneliners.
This is not /r/unclejokes.
Your jokes must have a punchline.
Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.
Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.
To be more clear, given yet another influx of dark jokes, dark jokes will result in a permanent ban under rules 1 and 4.
If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.
Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.
Thanks
r/3amjokes • u/Rarhkoi • 8h ago
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r/3amjokes • u/itsthe5thhm • 12h ago
"You heard nothing, you hear me? Nothing!" said the cow before hiding in the kitchen.
Moments later, there was a knock at the door, I answered it, turns out to be a bunch of cows with pitchforks and torches.
"You seen a cow around here?" asked the leader.
"Uh, sort of, I mean you're a cow, right?"
"What? No, I mean a lone one, have you seen a lone cow passing by? Can we just come in and have a quick look.."
"No, that would be impossible."
"Why? Why is it impossible?"
"Because a bunch of cows is a herd, and I herd nothing in this house."
r/3amjokes • u/Historical-Buff777 • 5h ago
That cured his hiccups.
r/3amjokes • u/Historical-Buff777 • 5h ago
After their barn mitzvah.
r/3amjokes • u/JJSponge120 • 11h ago
Wrap music.
r/3amjokes • u/WhatchaBrewing • 44m ago
ginger bread man playing on our ball team”.. 😂
r/3amjokes • u/tuotone75 • 18h ago
she was seeing someone else on the side.
r/3amjokes • u/Soulviolence66 • 1d ago
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cab driver says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cab Driver: "Frank Feldman. He was the perfect man!"
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cab Driver: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."
Cab Driver: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right every single time.”
Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"
Cab Driver: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.
He would never argue with her even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too.
He really was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "How did you meet him?"
Cab Driver: "I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife."
r/3amjokes • u/borgsteve1994 • 20h ago
Even a great ride usually ends in a wipe out.
r/3amjokes • u/WhatchaBrewing • 1d ago
Well let’s just say after using the entire bottle and I can safely say it is a total scam.
r/3amjokes • u/Historical-Buff777 • 5h ago
You might think I’m a pussy, but honestly, it’s for the other car drivers.
r/3amjokes • u/e-bio • 5h ago
The bartender says, Is this a PA-rty?
They all say, No, we just PA-ssed by
r/3amjokes • u/Slight-Ad8511 • 23h ago
The thugs who jumped me were nicknamed Billy Club and Blackjack.
r/3amjokes • u/No-Hawk-2488 • 9h ago
Most of them can't tell their doctor when was the first day of their last period without looking at their phones
r/3amjokes • u/WhatchaBrewing • 2d ago
dishes in the sink while she took a nap…
r/3amjokes • u/xXArkelonXx • 2d ago
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
r/3amjokes • u/fondlethehuman • 2d ago
Birthdays. Too many birthdays will kill you.
r/3amjokes • u/leekertrondem • 2d ago
Catalonia
r/3amjokes • u/RandoEncounter • 2d ago
Incog-neato
r/3amjokes • u/PapaBear846 • 2d ago
You might not be able to sleep because of insomnomnomnomnia
r/3amjokes • u/FirmExperience3747 • 2d ago
It kept taking all the cookies without accepting the terms
r/3amjokes • u/h0wevilweare • 2d ago
He kneaded to prove himself.
r/3amjokes • u/Intelligent-Fig-7244 • 3d ago
On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.