r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Longjumping_Buy_9026 pants unbuttoned š • 10h ago
FML My therapist told me to apply for disability
i struggle with nervous system burnout. basically every symptom you would think comes from something deadly, but itās actually my nervous system going āHEY, weāre on high alert. weāre traumatizedā. tremors, extreme fatigue, memory loss, brain fog, dizziness, racing heart, POTS, joint pain, muscle weakness, IBS, TMJ. I know there is a side of reddit prone to telling people they are faking it, but that side of reddit is unfamiliar with the neuroscience of chronic illness. if youāre one of them, just be grateful you have a brain and nervous system that knows how to alchemize sensory input and stress appropriately. seriously.
Iāve had a really hard time working this year. the job market sucks and I keep having to quit because my job is putting me on bed rest.
October was the worst month of my adult life. I had head-to-toe pain so severe, I started thinking about Jesus and the meaning of death. I struggled with basic tasks. I basically gave up.
I fear the future. I canāt work enough to achieve my goals. Iām currently on my dadās insurance for another year and a half. I live with my mom but weāre losing the house in the divorce and I know she wants to live with her new boyfriend, not with my ass.
so my therapist said disability could help me get on my feet, live independently, which might actually increase my recovery. less childhood trauma coming up, and more control over my environment.
but
1. I donāt want to take those resources from someone who needs them
and
2. the system seems too difficult to navigate. I have to cap off my income from my part time job, they might say I make too much at 20/hrs a week
and
3. Iām afraid it will keep me stuck. stuck in a label, stuck dependent on the government, stuck in poverty
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u/MissConscientious POš„TAYš„TOES 10h ago
Iāll be honest, itās very, very hard to win a disability case while working. Itās unfair and completely impractical, but unfortunately true.
If your illness is extremely well-documented in your medical records, you have specialist advising or at least not objecting to obtaining disability and you have Blue Book qualified conditions, it might work. Otherwise, they generally view even part-time employment as āable to work.ā
Iām sorry youāre going through this.
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u/Longjumping_Buy_9026 pants unbuttoned š 10h ago
I did some research and realized this too. but I do have very well documented health history and my therapist/primary would be more than willing to help me with this process. theyāre both great. if you subtract copays and deductibles, and out of pocket for my integrative care, I make no money. so maybe Iād be able to try.
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u/GlitterBlood773 Kitchen Witch 10h ago
Highly recommend applying while you arenāt working and hiring a disability law firm. The first time denial rate is very high if youāre in the US
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u/EmbeddedWithDirt APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
Agree. Get a lawyer. I have lupus and Hashimotoās, along with mental health and Iāve already been told Iām going to be denied. My lawyer said itās super rare to be approved the first go around. I know a guy who lost a limb, heās in a wheelchair, and heās been denied three times. So I feel like I have no nope of winning.
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u/nerv_angel š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 9h ago edited 1h ago
I worked as a case manager for an SSDI attorney during Covid and your lawyer is correct.
To be 100% clear, it's next to impossible to get approved for SSDI and here's why:
- You cannot own anything to your name. Have a car - gotta sell it. Rent your own place - you're too well off. Have more than $2K in savings - you might as well be a millionaire. SSDI requires you live off the bare ass minimum while pretending to not be homeless.
- Disability must be severe AF to be qualified for SSDI. Basically, if you have the ability to use your hands and can sit upright for more than 4 hours, you're not disabled. I wish I was joking. Having a myriad of health problems isnt enough if you still have functioning hands. Even the ability to walk up steps disqualifies you from disability. I've seen cases denied for that very reason.
- If you do apply for SSDI, get ready for a 2+ year fight. Nobody gets approved on the first try. Your medical records must be packed with damning proof of disability. Just one provider saying it isn't enough. Independent Medical Reviews are done in a way to discourage you from continuing the process. Getting a good judge for your case.... GOOD LUCK!! There are judges (depending on your state and locality) that approve less than 8% of disability cases presented to them each year.
I dont ever want to discourage someone from trying, but knowledge is power and this is a slog of a process.
Edit: To anyone who is curious, you can look up the approval/denial case rates for judges in your district while waiting for a trial date Social Security Disability Hearing Statistics | ALJ Statistics | Chronicle ALSO - you can request a new trial date if the one scheduled for you is a judge with below 50% approval rates.
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u/MissConscientious POš„TAYš„TOES 8h ago
Hi! You shared lots of great information, but I think you meant to say āSSI,ā versus āSSDI.ā :)
(SSDI is not income dependent.)
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u/nerv_angel š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 8h ago
LOL yeah, I continue to get those interchanged/mixed. Thank you.
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u/tangerinemoth Foraging Bog Witch 8h ago edited 7h ago
This is unfortunately correct. I have many friends (including myself) who require a wheelchair full-time and they still do not qualify under a physical disability. Yes, even with years of medical documentation had to apply to qualify under a different condition. Being approved for POTS standalone would be like finding a magical needle in a haystack.
editing (kindly) to add that your bullet point for #1 is inaccurate; it only applies to SSI which is a welfare program not disability insurance. SSDI is not income dependent or needs-based and you are allowed to save.
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u/nerv_angel š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 8h ago edited 7h ago
My heart goes to you for real. It's absolutely insane to me that being wheelchair bound isn't enough to qualify.
Edit: I've been educated. Wheelchair user is the respectful way to be acknowledged. Apologies for anyone who is offended by my lack of tact.
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u/tangerinemoth Foraging Bog Witch 8h ago edited 6h ago
I mean this really respectfully, because I can tell that you are coming from a good place of empathy, but for future reference, the term "wheelchair bound" is incredibly disrespectful. Please say "wheelchair user"! Non-disabled people (in general, not specifically you) seem to have this assumption that people who use wheelchairs are bound to them 24/7 and it's somehow depressing and sad, but wheelchairs literally are our access to freedom and we are not bound to them. Even if somebody is quadriplegic, they are not strapped to their chair against their will, we eat sleep and shower just like everybody else!
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u/nerv_angel š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 8h ago
I truly appreciate the education. I meant no offence and would rather be called out on saying something that could negatively affect others when that was never the intent.
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u/tangerinemoth Foraging Bog Witch 8h ago edited 5h ago
I appreciate you right back! To be honest, it would be doing everybody a huge disservice if my attempt to educate you was just yelling at you for saying something you didn't even know was wrong.
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 4h ago
You are absolutely incorrect. It definitely is not text to impossible to get approved for SSDI. Yes it is hard and a huge pain in the ass but its not nextbto impossible. I am on SSDI, got approved in my 30s, and I know many people on SSDI, as us disabled folks tend to flock to eachother because it's hard to have able bodied friends, plus support groups and such. I also own a house and 3 cars and have more than 2k in the bank. There are zero asset limits on SSDI. Everything you listed is for SSI not SSDI.
I also can always use my hands and I sometimes can sit up for more than 4 hours but not always for that one because dynamic disabilities exist, and yes you can be approved with them, I am proof of that. You also have your CDR, just had mine a couple of months ago and they found that yes I am still disabled.
Also some people DO get approved right away for SSDI. My aunt got approved first try, she didn't have to appeal or anything. It is definitely rare to get approved right off the bat but it absolutely does happen.
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u/nerv_angel š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 2h ago
It's not impossible, but the odds are heavily stacked against the majority of applicants. I helped with a lot of cases as a case manager and very few were actually granted, and that's not against him. He did a great job and really cared, but that doesn't matter when your district is stacked with judges who don't approve disability cases. Locality really matters in disability case approval.
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u/Bad-Moon-Rising APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
My dad was denied because he was still working. They don't seem to understand that some people have to choose between working and not being able to pay bills. He eventually sought out a lawyer and was approved.
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u/GlitterBlood773 Kitchen Witch 7h ago
Itās by design. Itās to discourage us from using what little āresourcesā are supposed to exist for us. Itās one of the cruelest aspects of institutional ableism. Iām so glad your dad got his approved!!
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u/Pretend-Panda girls just wanna have pho 8h ago
Integrative care is not generally considered āmedical careā by SSA. And medical care expenditures do not count against earned income for SSA until youāre fully approved and enrolled - then a relatively small percentage of those costs (which are only relevant if necessary to work) will be used to increase the amount youāre allowed to earn.
If you get SSI, you will be Medicaid eligible. Under the big beautiful bill, you will be required to work or volunteer to continue to receive Medicaid, regardless of disability status. If you get SSDI, it will be two years before you are Medicare eligible. Many doctors and therapists do not accept Medicaid and the regulations around therapist qualifications to be paid by Medicare recently became more stringent.
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u/kylaroma the secret ingredient is autismāØ 9h ago
OP, I have ME/CFS, severe fibromyalgia, ADHD, autism, C-PTSD, and a nervous system disability (pathological demand avoidance) that sends me into involuntary life/death panic over tiny things.
I deeply get it.
Getting help wonāt make you lazy, or keep you stuck. It will just help you.
Capitalism makes us internalize a ton of different messages, like āpoor/disabled people are lazy and will never pull themselves up by their bootstrapsā is one of them.
Donāt let those ideas limit your opportunities.
Iām 42 and had been healthy my whole life. A year and a half ago I suddenly got much more severe, to the point of being bedridden for part of the spring.
We canāt know how our health will unfold over time. One of the best things you can do for yourself is have help in place before itās so critical that if you did need to apply to it later, you canāt manage if anything goes wrong, or takes more time, etc
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u/tangerinemoth Foraging Bog Witch 8h ago edited 3h ago
pathological demand avoidance is more considered a feature of autism/ADHD and a behavior profile, not a separate diagnosed condition, just wanted to prevent misinformation!
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u/shitrock_herekitty Chaotic But Cute 8h ago
Extensive and well-done documentation and having a competent attorney are the biggest keys (that are within our control) to winning a disability case.
I was working 20 hours a week and I was terrified that would work against my case because I know it can. My attorney told me not to stress about it too much because there was plenty of medical documentation that proved I am disabled. It came time for the hearing and my judge asked me about me working part time and I was honest. He asked if I ever had to call in and I said yes, about 2-4 times a month. He asked if I ever had to schedule time off for medical treatment or because I was too ill to work. I said yes. He asked how long my typical shift was. I advised him that my boss tried to be accommodating to my health and she made sure to schedule me for five hour shifts so that way I qualified for a 30 minute break where I could stretch and rest. He said he admired me still doing my best to work while struggling my chronic illnesses and then he turned to the case worker who initially denied me. He said something along the lines of "I don't understand why you would think someone who is only working 20 hours a week and still needs to call in up to four times a month isn't disabled. Her employer is being very generous by allowing that, most wouldn't and they would be well within their rights to let her go. Did you actually read any of the 1,000+ pages of medical documentation that was submitted? Because I did and it is very clear this young woman is significantly disabled. Instead of worrying about having to work part time and causing her body additional stress, I think it would be in everyone's best interest to allow Shitrock the time anc ability to focus on getting her health under control. It is evident that she is a bright and driven individual and I have no doubts that if and when she is able to get her health in a controlled state that she would be more than happy to return to employment at that time." He then officially ruled in my favor.
If I didn't have my attorney who knew exactly the kind of documentation that was key and didn't have my doctors' help in writing thorough documentation then that hearing likely would have gone much differently. I also lucked out that my judge wasn't an asshole, because there are some that just don't care and will rule against everyone.
All this to say, applying for disability is a total crapshoot that has a lot of variables that are out of the applicant's control. The two constants that seem to help the most in getting a positive outcome are having a good attorney and having thorough medical documentation of your health problems and the limits it puts on you. I wouldn't advise someone not to apply if they still have to work. But I definitely would caution them to be aware that it could be seen as a negative factor. I would also say if you're working while waiting on disability to keep track of any call ins or health-related time off, and make note of how you're limited at work by your health. It won't guarantee that they won't judge you negatively, but it's handy to have in case the judge is like mine and takes those things into consideration when deciding.
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u/One_Beginning_1403 Thick Thighs ā³ Thin Patience 10h ago
you are the resources they are for?! YOU need them!!!
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u/Budget_University_56 Lover of Soups 10h ago
This right here.
For navigating the system, you should get a lawyer. I got SSDI in January for Crohnās & chronic migraines, my lawyer was paid with a percentage of back pay. At the very least call a disability lawyer, they wonāt even take you on as a client if they donāt believe you have a strong case and a consultation costs nothing.
As far as getting stuck, more information never hurts!
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u/thisisnotrlynotfunny Urban Hunter Gatherer 9h ago edited 9h ago
Responding to your #3 concern: being stuck in poverty. Yes, it is very true that you may being stuck in poverty. I am on disability benefits forever. Here is what I have learned: you are allowed to save up money through an ABLE account. It is a bank account that protects disabled people with saving their money without losing any benefits. Secondly, there is a limited amount of money you are allowed to earn from employment. If you are going to apply for benefits from the SSA, look up what is your substantial gainful activity, (SGA)
I am grateful for my benefits because it gives me a peace of mind that my financial needs are covered while I deal with my disability.
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u/swiftangel13 APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
Best of luck. Itās the worst humiliation ritual Iāve ever been apart of. Come with all your medical documentation
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u/dazzleunexpired Short Story Longā¢ļø 7h ago
I was recently denied myself.
You know why this is INSANE?
I AM ON LIFE SUPPORT. Let me just fucking work while on the goddamn ventilator. š«Ŗ No. I'm not kidding. At all.
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u/swiftangel13 APPROVEDāØ 7h ago
Oh, wow. I am sorry sorry. Thatās so wrong. I would say the system is broken but it works just as intended. Built on cruelty. There is no shame about asking for help to survive a disability. The govt exists to provide for people by the people and itās just been so twisted esp in the US
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u/dazzleunexpired Short Story Longā¢ļø 7h ago edited 7h ago
I legitimately think that denials are actually automated at this point and that a human being does not look until you appeal unless you apply with a Blue book condition.
My condition should be Blue book, in general. Muscular dystrophies are considered a Blue book, but my exact condition is so rare that it's not listed in the Blue book šššš
We are now going to argue with the compassionate allowance team to approve me through compassion program, it's the program that's used to accept someone automatically that should be accepted automatically (like in my case where muscular dystrophies are always disabling but some are too rare to be listed).
Legally I should qualify because I can't do ADLs, I use a feeding tube and a ventilator and a cough machine and I have a central line etc, but the government makes it disproportionately difficult. Just really really difficult because they would prefer that disabled people don't survive as we all know. Getting disability isn't easy for any class of person except for a person already in an institution or group home, but those people don't usually get to keep their social security. It usually is given to the group home for their keep.
It puts you into central nervous system disarray for sure. We may try to get you to argue for why you deserve to survive. " Please explain why we should care about the fact that you cannot breathe? Are you beneficial to us in any way? Is your family beneficial to us in any way? Are you sure you don't have enough money to need help? Because you can't have more than $2,000! You don't need help if you have more than $2,000! Never mind that that's only one month of life!"
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u/cherrylimebongwatr Hazy Grazer š¶āš«ļø 5h ago edited 4h ago
I think people in this comment section misunderstand what SSDI actually is. Itās money taken from our pay checks that turn into work credits which determine how much your monthly award is. For example, Iām at the last stage in the process but had maxed out my work credits by the age of 30 and based on how much Iāve paid into it, my award will be $3500 a month if Iām approved. Thatās money I EARNED working 70 hour work weeks for almost a decade, no one will make me feel bad about taking it back.
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 5h ago
The system is so fuking broken! I'm so sorry. I hope you have a good lawyer! Mine was great and made everything so easy and smooth for me, he got me approved very quickly after my denial.
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u/dainty_ape š§ Anti-Vampire Taskforce š§ 7h ago
Same, I had an awful experience with it - drained my health further having to jump through all their hoops, and ultimately was denied after 4 years of going through all the layers of the process.
Then again, since I was out of work and had no insurance, I wasnāt able to see specialists or therapists to explore every possible angle. I had the recommendations of two primary care doctors, and a physical therapistās physical capacity testing data. That wasnāt enough though apparently.
I think a lot of it also does just come down to luck with who your case ends up in front of. The appeals judge who got mine only approves 30% of their cases, which to me seems super disingenuous š¤·š¼āāļø
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u/rockandroller APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
Disability isn't pie. You're not taking someone else's piece. If you qualify then you should get it!
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u/Bad-Moon-Rising APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
Same goes for any kind of government assistance - food stamps, WIC, section 8. It's there for a reason, and anyone who qualifies for it should have it.
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u/rockandroller APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
And food pantries!
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u/Call_it_Magic87 Ranch Evangelist 8h ago
And grants and other funding sources look at how much pantries are used to help figure out the funding! So when pantries get used by folks who need them, it helps confirm the need to the funding sources!
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u/Pretend-Panda girls just wanna have pho 9h ago
Disability for dysautonomia as well as neurological and musculoskeletal disorders that are not bluebook listed is extremely challenging to get, even with an attorney and a well documented medical history.
Additionally, if you are employed or recently resigned from a job, SSA will treat that as confirmation that you can in fact work, no matter how exhausting and damaging that work is.
I am saying this not to discourage you but because many therapists in my area encourage folks to get on disability as a bridge to healing and are legitimately unaware of what a complex, time consuming and often frustrating process it is and how often neurological and many musculoskeletal disorders are denied. People enter the process with some optimism and an expectation of timely relief and are greatly discouraged by their experience. I have a neighbor with an attorney who is now nine years into the process for POTs (diagnosed and receiving treatment since she was seven, nearly 40 years ago) and FND with epileptic symptoms.
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u/RaeyL_Aeon Tiny Bodega Rat š 7h ago
It is the State's job to decide whether or not you're eligible. The State doesn't just give out disability checks I think. If you apply and your application passes, then you deserve it.
I'm going to be applying soon for disability as well, for reasons similar-ish to your own (multiple traumatizing events which led to my stress response and autoimmune system fighting temselves). I had the same concerns for years, but at some point you gotta listen to the ones who's job is to help you navigate life. You'll be fine mate, it's not a forever thing. And even if it is, it means you needed it.
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u/Alarmed_Tea_2874 APPROVEDāØ 7h ago
It's harder to get than people think. I have a friend who is trying now and is repeatedly getting denied even with doctors notes, etc.
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u/bennygaycko Foraging Bog Witch 6h ago
yeah, one of my friends who has been chronically ill for years, dropped out of school because of it, etc, literally took her years to get on disability, and you could literally meet her once and determine itās necessary for her. itās really hard to get on disability
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u/Alarmed_Tea_2874 APPROVEDāØ 6h ago
I think it will be even harder coming up, too. With changes to mandates and requirements for state health insurance, etc.
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 5h ago
Thats normal unfortunately. When I got my approval, my lawyer said the average is 2-3 denials and 3-5 years. I'm so thankful it wasn't nearly that hard for me.
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 5h ago
It's federal not the state but yes you are correct.
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u/TillUpper6774 puff puff pass the snacks 10h ago
I want my tax dollars to go to give people just like you some shred of dignity and ability to survive, not fund foreign wars.
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u/cherrylimebongwatr Hazy Grazer š¶āš«ļø 4h ago
The thing is, your tax dollars wouldnāt even be going to OP! Those are tax dollars OP has already paid for herself in the form of work credits as an insurance policy! Itās crazy that the government makes it so difficult
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u/ZealousidealLaw793 āļømay the forks be with youāļø 8h ago
Hey there. I am so sorry for what youāre going through. My nervous system got wrecked from a neck injury, so I know how debilitating it is.
First of all, youāre not taking resources away from anyone. What youāre going through is very real, and your nervous system is essentially the operating system for your body. If itās not working, your body isnāt working either. So if you feel that getting on disability will significantly improve your quality of life and give you the time necessary to manage your symptoms, do it. And honestly, managing nervous system collapse while working and doing all the normal life things is SO HARD. Your entire time outside of work is spent isolating yourself in a quiet and calm environment just so you can barely make it through tomorrow. Itās no life to live.
Second of all, I know the system is very confusing and difficult to navigate, but Iām sure there are lots of people who can help you with that, who have been through it. Iāve heard getting a lawyer is helpful.
Finally, if you ever want some ideas on how to help your nervous system function better and potentially heal, feel free to reach out. I had a complete nervous system collapse after my injury and could barely function, and have managed to heal it to a point where I can live my life. I would love to share what helped me. But I also recognize that you probably already exhausted all of your options and this kind of healing isnāt always possible, so no pressure at all.
Good luck - I hope you find a sustainable solution for your nervous system āŗļø
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u/That_Boysenberry4501 š¤š©·Lesbian Loremasterš©·š¤ 7h ago
Wait can I reach out too? I already had POTS and cptsd so bad I pass out when stressed and then got a concussion and neck injury itās so bad I canāt drive and am rly struggling daily. Could use help.
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u/ZealousidealLaw793 āļømay the forks be with youāļø 6h ago
I would love to try to help! Feel free to message me āŗļø concussion/neck injuries are tough to heal from, Iām sorry š
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u/Reasonable_Field_151 APPROVEDāØ 7h ago
Unfortunately, there ARE people who abuse the system by āfakingā disabilityā¦ but it does NOT sound as if YOU are one of them!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting public assistance if you need it. Thatās what itās there for.
Use it as a temporary way to get some breathing room to regroup. Understand the ins and outs of the programs you qualify for. Make mental/physical recovery your āfull time jobā until your health improves.
Then, once youāre able to work again DO so. You recovering and then returning to the workforce is one of the best ways you can ensure that others can similarly benefit.
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u/Brilliant_Leaves APPROVEDāØ 5h ago
There are VERY few people faking disabilities to receive benefits. It's extremely difficult to get approved.
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u/aubriously_ BRB š® FOOD 6h ago edited 5h ago
iāve scrolled through a lot of comments without seeing a clear SSI-SSDI distinction. a lot of things people are saying here are just for SSI, such as limitations to savings, assets, and (edit: NOT) retaining benefits after marriage. SSDI is not income-dependent and pays based on the work you did while able, though itās harder to get. i have SSDI and i was told that i can NOT work while applying. now i can work a limited amount, i wanna say $900/mo is my max before they start getting curious about how im managing it. being on SSDI sucks but not as much as SSI because you get more freedoms and Medicare after 2 years. Medicare is okay; most of my providers are covered, but many new ones i seek out arent, especially mental health wise. Medicaid is a lot trickier but certainly better than no coverage.
this comment is really just intended to clarify any confusion that may have come from reading all this different info. unfortunately when we say ādisabilityā or āsocial securityā thereās such a tendency to assume which one is meant when thereās actually 2 systems that are quite different
edit: added "not" to an otherwise unclear statement
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u/North_Country_Flower APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
Honestly, itās going to be a long road. You will be denied multiple times and go years without income before being accepted. Itās not an easy thing to do.
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u/New_Taste_66 Let The š„ 10h ago
Itās unfortunate that even if you did apply for this I donāt even know if they would give it to you. My sister was incapable of work for a couple of years due to thyroid issues and she had to FIGHT and they still didnāt give her shitā¦
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u/tenaciousghost Fridge Gazer 10h ago
depending on the state (assuming america), the disability benefits really arent enough to live on, and unfortunately can be taken away if you get married, register as a dependent or make enough money to be comfortable. and while there are places that offer better rent situations for those on disability, i dont think the majority of them are comfortable either. ive heard better things about europes benefits but its still just atrocious to have to fight tooth and nail to live while also suffering from the disability itself.
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u/ijustlovebobbybones white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 10h ago
Usually have to try a few times, sometimes it can take years but you can get back pay and a settlement if you end up getting it.
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u/New_Taste_66 Let The š„ 5h ago
It caused my sister a lot of stress and time I doubt with this persons medical condition they would have the frame of mind and mental health to handle this fight for years lol
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u/Weak_Victory_8048 Sushi Superfan š£ 8h ago edited 8h ago
I will warn you that it is nearly impossible to get disability if you are working at all or have worked significantly in the past year. Many lawyers will not take clients who are still working. You may also want to avoid describing your (very valid) symptoms as āburnoutā to your providers and on forms as this is not a recognized medical diagnosis. Best of luck!
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u/Chouxnicorn Kitchen Witch 8h ago
They can also expect multiple rounds of being rejected. My fil has major health problems and he was rejected twice and spent thousands before he got approval.
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u/Weak_Victory_8048 Sushi Superfan š£ 8h ago edited 7h ago
This. I have been out of work for 19 months and in mental health PHP, residential, and inpatient for over a third of the last two years and still expect a 2-4 year battle. Also, OP needs to make sure they are seeing a psychiatrist and medical specialists at least monthly for their records. A therapist alone will not be sufficient medical evidence.
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u/dainty_ape š§ Anti-Vampire Taskforce š§ 7h ago
It can be nearly impossible to get disability if you arenāt working too. They have a list of conditions that qualify, and if yours isnāt on there, itās going to be really hard.
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u/UnderlightIll Cleavage Crumb Collector 9h ago
You're not taking from people who need it because you need it.
However, as someone with a loved one on SSI and helped them through the process, there's a few things to consider.
Other than POTS, what are you confirmed diagnoses? You don't have to tell me but understand that the govt considers disability only if there are no jobs for you inside a job book written in the 70s. My lived one has major depression, bipolar and agoraphobia and because of the mood stabilizers, is unable to perform most work duties due to side effects.
Has a medical doctor said that you should be eligible for disability due to your impairments and treatment? Your team HAS to be on your side.
You would likely only be eligible for SSI which has a payout of about $948 per month. Would this be enough to live on? You cannot work while on disability (it says you can but it's way more complicated than that) and can never have more than 2k combined in checking and savings.
Are you currently working? If so, that hurts your case.
Lastly, is there treatment available for your conditions that could improve your life but you cannot afford and/or haven't been prescribed it yet? The disability payout is so low that you will be in poverty forever.
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u/SpaceNerd223 APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
Also to add, for anyone, if your living situation is paying your rent they subtract upwards of $350
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u/That_Boysenberry4501 š¤š©·Lesbian Loremasterš©·š¤ 7h ago
Thatās such a trap. People canāt save enough money for emergency visits, better medical care, vehicle, house, etc. So sad. They āhelpā you but keep you perpetually poor it seems.
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u/aubriously_ BRB š® FOOD 6h ago
yep, we call it forced poverty in the disability advocacy world.
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u/portablepandas Fartmaxxing š 7h ago
I am on disability because of similar issues.
It's so upsetting still on "good" days that I feel like I could work. Thing is, to go through all of disability and convince people with FACTS that you can't keep up. That may be the biggest factor to help you realize you deserve this help.
It isn't a lot of resources, and they are put aside FOR you. If you've worked for a while YOU paid for this. Please, go to the disability reddit and talk to others.
You can live a better life.
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u/Low_Daikon7538 what that mouth do is snack 7h ago
How do you balance talking to disability about the difference between "good days" and bad days? Because I feel awful and fake on those days where I am able to leave the house w/ minimal symptoms but then I get hit by something stupid like a cold or high humidity/heat or being forced to stand too long and then it's like...how could I keep a job when half of the month my brain is in a fog and I cant stand without weakness and nausea? Like...how can you remain truthful that sometimes youre okay and not have them pull the rug out from underneath you?
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u/meganeg08 š Pickle Freak š 7h ago
I am not at all trying to say that you donāt deserve it, but I do want to warn you that there is a very good chance you will not be approved, at least your first time. You need to prove to them that you cannot work any job, and I mean any job at all. I have MS and I see a lot of people in my health circle applying and getting denied. And MS is something that is very well proven in the medical community. Again, not saying that your illness isnāt, but it does sound a bit more obscure and maybe harder to diagnose? Either way, my advice to you is to get an attorney to help with the process. And to not be surprised if you are denied. Please donāt go into this thinking that you just have to make the decision to apply and theyāll let you sign up. This will be a frustrating, likely upsetting process.
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u/benfoldsgroupie Assigned Hungry At Birth 6h ago
A friend of mine was rejected several times, and dropped by all his lawyers, but he managed to win one of his cases and the other is scheduled for something like next year. If you initially get denied then approved later, you get backpay to when you initially applied.
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u/RaspberryJammm APPROVEDāØ 6h ago
Look into ME/CFS as a possibility.Ā
Be warned if you have that, getting your nervous system regulated will help a bit but there is no cure currently except rest and carefully avoiding overexertion. Hopefully we'll have a biomedical treatment eventually.Ā
Good luck with everything. You can permanently deteriorate from overexertiom including physical, emotional, cognitive and sensory overexertion with ME/CFS so be very careful.Ā
I'm aware earlier diagnosis may have stopped me deteriorating as I didn't know better and kept working and exercising when I should have stopped.Ā
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 5h ago
Same! I was told I just needed to exercise more and be more active so I pushed and pushed and pushed and screwed up my body to point where I am far more disabled than I was before. I was disabled but still able to do a lot, but not any longer. When I finally found a Dr. who specialized in ME and I got the dx, I was so angry that all of my other doctors had been pushing me so hard for well over a decade when that was thr opposite of what I needed!!
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 5h ago
Hi I'm on disability, I can assure you it doesn't take away anyone from anyone else. You getting disability doesn't mean someone else doesn't get it, that's not how it works.
It is designed ro be difficult to navigate,.that's what disability lawyers are for. You don't have to pay them up front, they get paid from your back pay. It takes about 3 years on average to be approved.
It is basicaly impossible to get disability if you are currently working. Going through the process you have to prove you are unable to work due to your disability. You are allowed to work on disability but you can only earn a small amount of money. It's stupid but that's how it is.
I don't understand being stuck in a label. That doesn't make sense to me. If you are only able to work 20 hours a week you will be stuck in poverty anyway. But being on disability there are resources to help you with finding a job.
Since you are still living with your mom I'm assuming you are still quite young so you wouldn't qualify for SSDI but SSI which is needs based. If you are on SSI you will also get medicaid with it too. But SSI is less than $1000 a month.
Oh this is in the US. If you are in another country please disregard.
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u/Charming-Shake-6525 Ā ā Marked Safe From 90s Diet Culture 10h ago
those resources are there to be used. use them. it doesnāt have to be a life sentence, if you want to look at it that way.
my disability application, for similar issues as you describe, was denied the first time, but then i got an attorney and was approved the second time. itās not enough to live independently, but it covers the rent, at least.
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u/salsa_spaghetti Overthinker š 10h ago
My mom was denied and she had a broken neck from her job. It's so disheartening what they deny on the first try, then losing SO much to the attorney.
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u/turtlespice Ā ā Marked Safe From My Almondmom 9h ago
Mildly related, but have you heard of the October slide? I have a lot of the same conditions you do, and I got absolutely taken out the very end of Sept through the first couple of weeks of October.Ā
My physical therapist then told me about the October Slide, which is a real, documented phenomena where these conditions and symptoms go crazy at the beginning of October and then slowly return to baseline. (Of course, they donāt really understand why.)Ā
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u/LolaIlexa š„ Herbivore š« 8h ago
Some of it is definitely just caused by the sudden barometric pressure changes, but I am also personally suspicious that the same brain chemistry changes from reduced sunlight that cause seasonal affective disorder also play a role.
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u/MyCozySlowLife white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 4h ago
The October slide is so real š I hate it so much!!
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u/FlatWonkyFlea Falafel Fiend 8h ago
Yep, Iāve experienced this! Iām sensitive to molds, and October is the worst time of the year for atmospheric mold counts, especially where I live in a temperate, heavily wooded region with a lot of biomass breaking down at the beginning of fall. It tends to get better once we have a hard freeze, typically around Halloween.Ā
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u/paradepanda Maneater 10h ago
SSDI is an entitlement program, meaning people taxpayers (like your parents and you) pay into the program specifically so that the government HAS to pay people with a qualifying disability. It's not a hand out, it's not a gift, it is something we pay the government and they pay back to us (the people who gave them the power and the money) as we need it. It's an insurance program run by the government.
There are specific resources and savings account exceptions (called ABLE accounts) for people who receive SSDI before age 46. They also offer job coaching and other training. Using SSDI now can put you in a position where you can be self sustaining and supporting later in life, which is a pretty universally supported use of entitlement programs.
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u/JessicaMokaJoe Resident Yapper 7h ago
You have to have enough work credits to qualify for SSDI and even if you do, if you don't make enough with SSDI, they typically just have you on SSI.
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u/sososonia Assigned Hungry At Birth 8h ago
please do what you need to do to care for yourself <3 ignore anyone who thinks similarly to the people from that side. this world is BRUTAL to anyone who doesn't operate and perform at a very specific level for the capitalistic society and for benefit of billionaires.
don't worry about "taking resources" - if you need the aid, you are a part of the population who needs it. the system is very difficult to navigate, but you are your best advocate and putting in some extra effort now can pay off greatly (!!!).
in a perfect system, you wouldn't have to do all this extra work...it's definitely a broken system and for that, i'm sorry for you.
the "dependent on the government" is simply a fallacy. the government is supposed to help us. i think the sayings popularity rose as a conservative argument/belief and is similar to the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"...very much so spread by the people who benefit from generational wealth or government benefits (e.g. tax breaks for the rich, trump declaring bankruptcy exactly how many times??).
sorry if i'm rambling and if this has been unhelpful. but i just want to say, i believe you and i support you. i took a leave from work for mental health reasons and while it was difficult to navigate initially, especially the paperwork, it has been so very helpful.
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u/Legitimate-Access-80 šŖ Sauceress āØ 8h ago
This! Weāre all dependent on the government for roads and sewers, etc.
Op, you deserve help, get it where you can!
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u/Pandagramma š£ cracked the egg š³ļøāā§ļø 10h ago
It really is true that unless you actually start resting quite a bit, you are not going to see progress.
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u/PaleoSpeedwagon Foraging Bog Witch 10h ago
I had frozen shoulder and plantar fasciitis in both feet for almost a year because I refused to rest (<5hr sleep a night for 2 years). 3 months after I started getting the rest I needed, those issues just kind of...went away! Capitalism has really fucked us up.
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u/burrhh what that mouth do is gossip 6h ago
Apply. Youāre not taking from anyone.
Someone in my life got disability and it was what they needed to get back on their feet actually. Theyād still qualify but theyāre working full time and in school and back on their feet. Itās amazing. I personally would want my taxes to go towards helping you if I got to choose.
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u/cherrylimebongwatr Hazy Grazer š¶āš«ļø 5h ago
Just so you know, your taxes arenāt going towards someone elses SSDI. Itās entirely separate from social security which is what you are thinking of. SSDI is insurance, itās not a welfare program.
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u/CeilingCatProphet Well-Read & Well-Fed 10h ago
Yes, paperwork is hard to navigate, but what are the alternatives? I don't know what state you are in, but in mine we can get 6 months of short-term paid state disability. Maybe you have that available. Stop the martyrdom of thinking of others. Disability leave s not a pie. No one will be denied anything because of you. You already have a bunch of labels and are stuck. Temporary leave can give you the breathing room to deal with it all. I feel like only in the US is label trauma considered a permanent condition. It doesn't have to be. Things can get better if you put an effort into it Find a new doctor. Get a referral to PT. See if psych meds can help.
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u/bittersandseltzer mouth full, gesturing wildly 9h ago
1) you are someone who needs those resources
2) you dont know till you find out
3) again, you dont know till you find out
If you have not sought treatment for anxiety, please do so. Alleviating that will allow you to focus on the rest. I cannot CANNOT suggest beta blockers enough. They work immediately, you can stop them at any time. You will still have anxiety and hear your anxiety but the physical manifestations of the anxiety will be severely dulled or entirely gone. I was already on lexapro before trying a beta blocker and WOW. I hadn't realized how the physical manifestations of anxiety were causing additional anxiety, which caused more physical symptoms, which triggered more anxiety - its a really tough spiral. Medication is a really wonderful tool to get a handle on this stuff
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u/SpaceNerd223 APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
*also guanfacine it's been a lifesaver for my mind and adrenaline dumps
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u/SpaceNerd223 APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
- You can petition to stay on your parents insurance past age 26. You just need a letter from your doctor detailing your conditions, your needs, struggles with ADLs, etc they should have a letter. (You'll likely have to renew this letter every 2 years, but eventually, you can request to stay on it permanently
(In addition, look into an ABLE account. If ever you apply for SSI, you can't have more than $2000 in assets, including savings. An ABLE account can store up to $100,000 and not have it count towards that limit. SSDI has no asset limit.)
- One other thing, if your disability began before age 22, you can apply for Disabled Adult Child Credit, and when your parent's pass or retire, you receive half their ss benefits, while they still receive their full amount.
It takes a few years for the whole process so if you want to get started that could help
Absolutely have your doctors record NOW what your functional limitations are and how they interfere with your ability to do work. Ability to take care of yourself/ADLs, and your daily struggle/symptoms is good too, but ssa mostly cares about how it affects your ability to work
Have them document it now, because even if you apply in 5 years, you will provide your "onset date" and your medical records from this time period will be essential. And mostly the doctor's documentations on how it affects your abilities and any objective findings
This way, you are preparing for, and protecting yourself for if ever you get so sick you cannot work.
Best to you š I've been disabled since 19 with some of the same conditions. It's gut wrenching.
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u/wishuponastarion Non-binary & Nourished 5h ago
Hey babe. Chronic pain sufferer and disability advocate here. What you're feeling is an intense empathy for other people -- worrying about taking away their resources -- and not enough empathy for yourself. This is something I call "disability impostor syndrome." It's that feeling that, well, other people have it worse, so I'm probably not disabled enough for X thing.
My friend. Disability isn't a zero-sum game. This is not the Oppression Olympics. If you use the resources available to you, it's actually more likely that MORE resources will be allocated later to the same pool! State and county budgeting tends to work that way.
Don't let yourself suffer just because others suffer worse. You don't deserve to feel awful. You are a lovely human being and you deserve to feel better.
š your local ambulatory wheelchair user who cares
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u/KittyIsAn9ry Feral Til Fed 6h ago
Hi! Iām a disability claims examiner with mental health issues, maybe I can help?
You are not taking the resources from someone who needs them because it sounds like YOU need them. Companies have employees pay into STD plans for this reason, so trust me, your company can afford it. You taking leave wonāt prevent someone from accessing the same resources.
Itās difficult, but not impossible. Most disability leaves will require a Short Term Disability medical certification to approve your FMLA job protected policy (if you are eligible) and then generally treatment records (this can be prescribed medication, therapy notes, referrals to specific doctors or types of treatment, etc.) to release disability pay. You must meet certain criteria, which can include abnormal mental status exam findings, difficulties with daily activities of living, etc. There are some states with state leave benefits, meaning they pay for a portion of your leave regardless of if your employer approves the leave. Those states are: CA, CO, CT, DE, District of Columbia, HI, ME, MD, MA, MN, NH, NJ, NY, OR, PR, RI, VT, VA, and WA. If you live in one of these states, it can be very helpful.
Whether or not this makes you feel āstuckā is up to you. You can either use the time wisely or you can give up and coast on disability, but that choice is yours.
Iām happy to answer other questions, feel free to DM me ā¤ļø
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u/wishuponastarion Non-binary & Nourished 5h ago
It was a genuine shock to me in my 20s when I learned that, for most people, standing in line is boring, but NOT painful. I had always thought it was painful for others like it was for me! NOPE. I was over-empathizing. (Turns out I have spinal cord degeneration. š )
We all have that disability impostor syndrome going on sometimes!
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u/cakequake13 living on the wedge š§ 6h ago
This explanation ^ -another person in the disability examiner realm
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u/AuntAgness_Wig Foraging Bog Witch 5h ago
Iām going to gently push back on your point 3 about āyou feeling stuck is up to youā. I suppose itās disability dependent but not being able to get off disability is very often absolutely not a choice. Your wording here is giving āpull yourself up by your bootstrapsā vibes and those who are permanently disabled hear this quite a lot. It can be demoralizing and exhausting. Perhaps Iāve misinterpreted what you are saying here? š¤
I worked in the disability field for a long time, OP and Iām sorry youāre struggling. I hope youāre getting good support. You deserve that.
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u/Modernbluehairoldie FREE MOM HUGS 9h ago
So on the difficulty figuring out how, get a lawyer. And yes I know that you have no money. So the way this works is once you apply, each month money is set aside for you until you are approved or denied. So in a straight forward case that process can take at least 6months, often a year that you are accruing back pay. A disability lawyer will help you set up your application and help you through the process for half the back pay. Itās worth it. They donāt get paid if you donāt get approved.
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u/Ok-Cantaloupe2564 Delulu 9h ago
If you get a lawyer, be prepared to lose up to half of your awarded disability income for several years as their fee. I have a friend in CA USA going through this with a lawyer and that's the deal.
Also, OP - you do need these services so why do you feel your be taking them from someone more needy? Get over that nonsense and go apply. The worse that can happen is they say no.
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u/sierso Tofu Terrorist 10h ago
Im experiencing similar issues. I started on gabapentin for my nerve pain because there's no clear cause for what's happening. I hope it gets better for you and do not feel bad about needing these resources in your current state. You deserve to be able to heal.
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u/Pretend_Mixture_7179 š§Salty By Nature 10h ago
Fellow chronically ill person here. Disability takes a long time to go through and is pennies, so I understand your desire to avoid it. I highly recommend trying low dose naltrexone, it was life changing for me. Nothing the doctors gave me ever did a damn for me, so I took matters into my own hands. I can do whatever I want now, as LDN controlled my rampant inflammation. r/LowDoseNaltrexone
As for work, what do you do now? I might have some suggestions to make the jump to remote. I would take remote work over disability any day.
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u/keencleangleam i like eggs 9h ago
Please, I'd personally prefer you get the money I put into social security/ taxes
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u/Natural_Bill_6084 APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
- You are "someone that needs them."
I strongly recommend visiting your local ADRC for help and resources. Also, if you have a Center for Independent Living in your area, theyre wonderful to work with - knowledgeable about your options and will assign you a case worker to attend appts, etc. to help you advocate for your needs. You can also check with your state/county human services department to see if you qualify for CCS (comprehensive community services) or similar programming - which will also provide you access to a case worker and possibly additional services.
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u/TheDifficultRelative APPROVEDāØ 5h ago
Getting ssdi is not easy. Best bet is to move to part time work now or quit working entirely.. then go seek intensive care that precludes the ability work (hospitalization or iop for psychological issues, an intensive physical therapy routine, anything that will generate documentation from professionals that you are not able to work with your condition).Ā
And get an attorney to help you.Ā
Once you are on, be mindful of income limits. You will be broke, but if you're using the time to get help and get on your feet, you can think of it as temporary. Its about enough to pay rent on a tiny place and with food stamps be able to eat.
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u/SomeNerdChick90 Kitchen Witch 10h ago
Girl, these resources are in place for you who need them, and you are one of those people. You've worked, you've paid into those government programs, you have a right to use them. Please look into it.
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u/land-crayon6322 š¦ Fruit Bat Baddie š 7h ago
You're not taking resources from someone who needs it you're taking it from the state. Please apply with someone's help !
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u/lil_liberal girls just wanna have pho 7h ago
Hey OP, you ARE the someone who needs them.
Also, youāre not taking resourcesāyouāre cashing out on what you have directly paid to disability.Ā
What you got paid for your last job has nothing to do with whether or not you qualify. That just means you paid disability more during your last job.
I highly recommend getting a contingent disability lawyer. I contacted Atticus and they set me up with a firm in New York, and basically they donāt take a fee until you win, and they take a federally regulated amount from your retroactive paycheck, and then they never take another cent.Ā
Lastly, you can still do a little work on disability. If you work 8 hours or less a week, and I think you have to make less than $1,000 a month, my lawyer told me. If you live alone, this indeed would be near impossibleā¦do you have roommates? Or, what does regulates rent look like in your area? There is generally a waiting list, but if you have someone you can live with for the next few years, you could still potentially get out on your own.Ā
It would be tough. But how long can you go on like you are now?Ā
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u/blahhhhhhhhhhhblah Well-Read & Well-Fed 10h ago
Those are not easy challenges to live and thrive with. If an outside source is telling you, āHey, youāre overwhelmed, hereās a way we can help.ā, please listen.
Take care of yourself, mentally and physically. This doesnāt need to be forever, there are people more than willing to help you navigate the process, and just think about how absolutely beautiful it will likely be to just have time to breathe.
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u/tigercrab98 APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
If you need the resources, then you're not taking it away from anyone. They're for you. Please look into them
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u/Elliora-Roserena APPROVEDāØ 5h ago
I have similar issues as you and finally have made peace with the fact that im disabled. It is invisible, so people will act like you are taking advantage or whatever, but you're not! You deserve to access the help you need for a better quality life. Here is a great resource to help you with the logistics of ssdi... https://howtogeton.wordpress.com/social-security-disability/
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u/Ziggie520 APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
Definitely look into disability benefits because you paid into the system and your benefits will be based on that. Take time for yourself and to get better. Once you feel better disability had a program where you can slowly get back into the workforce. Have your therapist help you. Good luck to you.
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u/Traditional_Wow_1986 Chocoholic 10h ago
Thankyou for sharing this meal and moment.
Am i understanding this correctly, Youāre thinking about death because of the severity of your physical pain and how it is impacting your ability to take care of yourself? Youāre looking at not having housing in the future? And youāre concerned about other people not having enough resources?
I love you and ponder what would you advise for someone else in your situation? In my perspective you deserve time to feel safe and secure, to heal, to have your basic needs met and to receive support in ways that are effective for you.
Can your therapist help you apply for support? Can she connect you with a care coordinator who can walk you through the process? Can your therapist help you plan for/ anticipate what receiving support and disability looks like? Could they help you make an exit plan for when your body is ready to move back into working?
Disability support is access to community support
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u/debbiedamore šŖ Sauceress āØ 10h ago
I COMPLETELY REGRET not doing this at your age when I was in your same situation. Take the disability help. I wish you healing.
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u/Reverred_rhubarb ŠŃŠ¼ŃŃŠŗŠ° ššæ 10h ago
I had all of these and found mold in my house. It can be inside the walls. Please look into it.
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u/Filledwithrage24 š§Salty By Nature 9h ago
Idk if theyāre going to give you disability for thatā¦
With that said, I had all those symptoms and then found out I have celiac disease. Iāve been 6 months gluten free and many of them have improved - most notably brain fog, pain, heart palpitations, and tremors.
Have you tried a rhumetologist or a GI doc?
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u/Numerous_Bad1961 Cleavage Crumb Collector 10h ago
Just a question, has your doctor mentioned trying guanfacine?
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u/Truly_135 APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
If itās not been mentioned most of your description sounds like long covid. Can you get air purifiers for your living space? Wear a kn95 or n95 mask when you have to go out? You donāt want any more viruses making your conditions worse.
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u/Express-Distance-435 Well-Read & Well-Fed 10h ago
If she feels you need it look into it. SSDI is there for a reason don't feel guilty it for getting it.
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u/erinrachelcat š Garden Gormand š„ 9h ago
Definitely spend time off resting and if you have enough energy, trying to get a diagnosis. Even if there aren't that many treatments for whatever ails you, it is super helpful.
I was diagnosed with hEDS years ago. Before I was diagnosed I took a month off work per the FMLA. It was important to rest! I didn't get fully better over that month but if I hadn't taken it, I might have gotten way sicker.
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u/Dreadkiaili Foraging Bog Witch 9h ago
I totally get your struggle. I developed POTS post-COVID. It also brought back the CFS/ME symptoms I had technically recovered from a few years ago. And daily headaches.
I had to get a disabled parking placard and a walker with a seat, so I can sit before I pass out. I also had to go through the process for intermittent FMLA leave.
I still have ti remind myself that itās okay to park the disabled parking. I have to remind myself that I am one of the people it is for and that Iām not taking someone elseās space.
You have paid into the system and deserve to use it, just as much as anyone. There is always someone worse off, but you are one of the people the system is for.
Taking a break from work to heal and also explore treatments is productive. Capitalism teaches us that only things where you make money are productive. That isnāt true. And itās REALLY hard to unlearn.
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u/Dear_Bunnies Wokaholic 9h ago
My therapist said that you would rather apply and get denied the first time and reapply until you get approved instead of applying when you need it. Plus there is short term disability. I was practically bed ridden last year and now I apparently earn too much but I do not know what my future is going to look like with my chronic condition and it's so hard. How do we earn too much when we still can't afford the bare minimum? Anyway, your mental health is just as important. Just because you need help doesn't mean you are incapable of doing things. Take one day at a time and I know how stressful everything is when "it's a process"
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u/Ehloanna Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice š 8h ago
- YOU need them. You're not taking from anyone at all. Just because you get benefits doesn't mean someone else doesn't. They don't blindly approve someone and then deny someone as a result.
- (US specific) It is, unfortunately. And you often don't get approved the first few times you apply. Everything has to be done perfectly. Some people have to hire a disability lawyer. I would recommend doing a lot of research before you even get started. Frequent relevant subreddits or forums and understand how it all works so you can go in prepared.
- (US specific) This is unfortunately one of the downsides to disability here. Savings are capped. The benefits often aren't great. But you can go off disability if you get to a better point with your health and then go back on if your health isn't great again. It's not something you get on and have to be on permanently forever.
I'm not expert at any of these things I just know bits and pieces based on my mom applying and being denied, and I believe my dad went on it temporarily after a spine or neck injury when I was young.
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u/Hot_Scratch_8780 Well-Read & Well-Fed 8h ago
Hey friend! So I went through something similar. Developed an autoimmune condition, kept working but then developed occipital neuralgia. I was burnt out from a bad workplace anyway, but then just...burnt out.
If you cannot work because your job is putting you on bedrest, then you're disabled. And you deserve resources.
If you're in the USA, check out this guide https://howtogeton.wordpress.com/
It helped me a lot. I applied by myself and got denied. Got a lawyer and then got approved. It took 4 years. So start now.
The good news is about these kinds of lawyers is that they only get paid once you get approved and their pay is capped (I think like at $7500?). So you won't be up to your eyeballs in debt.
Another thought. If you're in the USA and your state has paid medical leave, you could start with that, so you have some sort of income.
Lastly, you could be the sickest and most disabled person ever, and there will be some people who still think that it's an attitude problem or moral failing. You gotta just ignore them or, like I do, and make jokes about them in my head. It sucks and you want people to understand, but some won't. But some will understand.
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u/CaeruleumBleu šThe Very Hungry Bookworm š 8h ago
I hear you on being afraid of being stuck in a label - but it sounds like, without the government assistance, you're already stuck in a cycle where you aren't progressing.
I see this sort of thing as someone who is trying to get ready for an ultra marathon but who isn't taking the amount of rest their body requires. Sure, taking actual time off means missing this years ultra marathon, but trying to run again and again when your body wants a week off isn't getting you any closer to this years ultra marathon, either. Better to take a break and to change your aims to next years race.
And to be quite blunt - there are a lot of people who would or should qualify for help, who the government refuses for petty reasons. You aren't taking help away from anyone, you're taking the help you deserve. No one is getting denied help because you signed up, the people getting denied are getting denied for real petty shit.
I say this as someone who had to quit my job due to an injury which doctors refuse to mark as disabling, because when I have done jack shit for a full week (no vacuuming or anything) my hand tests as perfectly fine. No one involved gives a shit that I can't do 40hrs without my hand going numb and the range of motion cutting down, no one gives a shit that by the end of the week I cannot hold a fork or do any housework - the government definition of disability doesn't care so long as I can work 40hrs, not their problem if I can't do jack shit at home after that.
I am lucky to have family and friends who can support me and who accept the help I can offer in place of repayment.
But as someone who is living in limbo of not quite being disabled enough to get assistance - I am telling you, get the assistance and let yourself rest as well as you can. See if you can get better at all from taking a break, because you've already tried not taking a break and that hasn't worked,
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u/JessicaMokaJoe Resident Yapper 7h ago
Unfortunately you won't get approved if you're young unless you have serious mental health issues AND severe physical health issues. I won Fully Favorable this year, both ssdi and SSI. Because I have severe spinal degeneration from my cervical, thorasic and lumbar spine. I also have PTSD, anxiety and depression.
People tell people to apply for disability but don't understand what that takes. I didn't work for two+ years, no income, I had to rely on my family and friends and donations from strangers. I was denied first at 18yo and then reapplied at 28 and approved at 31 after being denied, having to get an attorney and going in front of a judge.
Then you need to know if you can survive on 1k or less a month.
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u/meowmedusa I ā¤ļø Other People's Business 7h ago
I don't think you qualify. With the issues you listed, especially since only two are actual diagnoses, and the fact that you work even if you could eventually win your case it'll take years of fighting for it. And when you do, will barely 1k a month be enough for you to cover rent, food, & bills? You talk about wanting independence but being on SSI often means giving up independence to survive. You likely won't be allowed to work (the rules are very, very complicated around working), and you definitely can't work during the application process. So for multiple years, you'll have no income (SSI or otherwise) at all.
If you can work 20 hours a week you're probably better off doing that. You'll make more and won't have to follow the rules of SSI, which as you know are incredibly restrictive. They'll also track you and your spending, along with who you live with. You won't be able to get married, or even have a ceremony. If you move in with a partner they may consider that too close to marriage, and can disqualify you based on your partners income & assets.
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u/knowwwhat Hazy Grazer š¶āš«ļø 6h ago
If you think youāre taking resources away from someone, look at all the people in positions of power scamming and squeezing pennys out of their citizens for personal gain. Disability payments are a drop in the bucket, and they donāt even pay enough to have any quality of life. Itās not like people are willingly giving up work to sit in poverty. Best thing you can do is get in it and use the support to build a productive life that works for you and your body, so hopefully you wonāt need it anymore and can pay it forward. If not, itās still there to take care of you
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u/Loose-Chemical-4982 Foraging Bog Witch 6h ago
If you're in the USA good luck with that.
I have two life-limiting autoimmune disorders that should automatically qualify me according to their standards but I have been trying to get disability since I was 47. I am now 56 and still being denied - and yes I have a lawyer
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u/Apr1lSn0w š¦ Gossipy Goth ā°ļø 10h ago
I think you are someone who needs the resources but you could look at it this way: you will definitely need the resources if you keep on the same path. I know because I could have written this several years back and the system is hard to navigate but much harder when you let it get to a breaking point. Once I got disability and focused on my health, I finally got a proper diagnosis and was able to reevaluate my career goals from a stronger, healthier state of mind. I used vocational rehab to get more training and get support as I started back to work. My life is really good now.
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u/ChelleInSand Fries š > Guys š¤” 10h ago
Have you looked in to remote work? I know its hard to find but if you can it may be a lot easier on your system. It is for me, I have a lot of the same issues you do, trauma, various health issues, and chronic pain, and donāt think I could manage a full time job without telework anymore. Definitely worth the trouble to do a lot of searching if you could find a remote or semi remote role.
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u/mewdejour šŖ Sauceress āØ 10h ago
Look into disability lawyers. I did and I won my case within 5 months when I have seen other people take up to 2 years to recieve it on their own, AFTER a denial letter and court date. I was approved, got about 5k in backpay, the lawyer took about 1800 of that, and now I have "life-long" disability pay. Usually you are allowed to work up to 20hrs/wk while on disability, just don't let your account balance sit at, or above, 1600 at a time. Any savings need to be in a physical format rather than a bank or they cut it.
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u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505 Well-Read & Well-Fed 10h ago
Listen to your therapist! The resources are there for people who need them.
If youāre worried about getting stuck, make a plan to actively work on your recovery and continue doing meaningful things in your life. Your therapist can help with this. I used to do disability law and there are absolutely people who go on disability and then spend their lives on their couch - but thereās also a lot of people who use disability as a short term support to help them stabilize their health, or longer term, who canāt work but are still able to do meaningful things. it sounds like you are motivated to improve your health, and that you have supports in place. Focus on getting better and see where life leads you from there.
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u/SpaceNerd223 APPROVEDāØ 8h ago
"Then spend their lives on the couch" is rubbing me the wrong way. If they're disabled, that's likely what they're doing and trying to be as meaningful as possible. I'm not sure if you meant people give up, which again it's in their every right, but I'd gather most people who are disabled do indeed spend their time sitting or laying down because the pain and pressure of standing is crazy.
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u/ComfortableChapter65 Femininom(nomnomnom)enon 10h ago
Babe, youāre the person these resources are for. I might have to go on disability if my current treatment plan doesnāt hold and Iām already in therapy about it, so I get it. š
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u/Razorsharpwilt living on the wedge š§ 10h ago
Think of it this way: theyāre going to deny you if you really donāt need it (and cause they deny hundreds that do) so if you get help, someone decided you needed it.
The other aspect is that itās more than likely if this is where youāre at now, you will need it sooner than later. Learning the steps of application and advocating for yourself are skills you will need going forward. By applying you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
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u/Far-Watercress6658 Feral Til Fed 10h ago
You are the person who needs them. This is why you paid taxes. The social security net. You sound motivated to heal so no reason to think youād fade. Stop listening to Fox News, right wing bs about disability. Itās there for a reason!
Finally, there are charity organisations that can help you. Also call 211 for local resources.
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u/Effective-Usual4152 Trader Joe Hoe 10h ago
You are the reason these programs exist, and they arenāt instant. Please ask your therapist if they can recommend a patient advocate or lawyer to help guide you through the application process. They do take a small cut of the payout, but their guidance and help with the paperwork, appointments and such is so valuable and even then you could be denied and have to start again. But the peace of mind is worth it. Be warned it is a stressful and long process!
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u/dutifulspacebard Tiny Bodega Rat š 10h ago
If youāre qualified, then you are the someone who needs them!! And donāt feel like you need to stay dependent on it. Itās a matter of what you can afford to prioritize at the moment (at least to me), mentally and financially. Ask your therapist for guidance (if theyāre able) in navigating the process if you need to. Once you get the disability benefits, use the extra time and support to prioritize you and only you until you feel more comfortable.
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u/childhoodanchovies Pantry Gremlin 10h ago
That's why I pay taxes, so people who need it can get the help they need. If Billionaires can get government contracts, tax cuts, and bailouts, you can get some disability benefits to help you in your life. Best wishes to you ā„ļø
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u/stars_are_aligned Foraging Bog Witch 10h ago
My friend, I am holding your hand and hugging you gently while I say: you are one of the people who needs those resources! They are there for these reasons.
I'd give yourself some grace, and take your therapist's advice. I know the system is hellish to go through and complicated to set up, but it very well might be some of the relief you're needing right now if you get approved for it.
Sending you all the well-wishes and luck <3
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u/fit_it APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
- You are the person who needs them right now.
- This concern proves #1. Yes, disability is very hard to stay on, but you're already not making it. You have a year and a half to figure out how to get your own insurance, or you'll be paying the state, which is likely way more.
- It might. But it may also give you time to rest, recover, and figure out coping mechanisms so you can rejoin the job market stronger and more resilient. Obviously, plugging away and hoping you can muscle through it is not working, or she wouldn't have suggested it. A therapist almost definitely understands how complicated it is to get and stay on disability, so her suggesting it is telling. Ask if she can either help you navigate it, or know someone who can - I would be surprised if the answer was no. Being on disability is also a fine thing to put on a resume, you do not need to tell them why. I would, if asked about it, heavily imply that it was a car accident honestly. This doesn't need to hold you back. It can be the rest you so obviously need.
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u/No-Classic6792 Overthinker š 10h ago
I too am on a road to disability and itās hard thing to face, but I remind myself that these systems are put in place for people who need resources such as us. Itās okay to get help. And it is scary feeling as if youāre relying on the government, but I see it as an opportunity to really hunker down and focus almost entirely on betting my mental state/ nervous system. Sending love
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u/halster123 APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
Are you in the US and full.time employed? If so, you may be eligible for short term disability via your employer
fwiw, i took short term and long term disability for burnout
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u/StragglingShadow Non-binary & Nourished 10h ago
You need them
Lawyers often work for contingency/part of your backpay.
That one I have no refutation for tbh
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u/Foreign_Kale8773 Body By Cheese š§ 10h ago
Girl. I struggle with this every dang day. I'm getting written up left and right and I did take a brief medical leave that was not long enough and jumping right back into the bad situation, despite different meds, didn't fix everything. I can't afford to keep doing this, but also, disability isn't, as many have said, enough to live on, but... being at least partially where you are, it causes physical health concerns that folks don't really get from the outside.
And I struggle with the same feeling that I'd be taking things from people who "really need it", but my Dr (who is wonderful and honestly, I've had maybe 2 who were genuinely invested in me getting better in my whole life) said "what would you tell someone with heart disease? Would you tell them their problem isn't as bad as someone with cancer?"
I'm bad at taking my own advice, but know that benefits are there for folks who need them. And it sounds like you need them.
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u/bluecrocs12 Fries š > Guys š¤” 10h ago
Hi diva I would also like to suggest getting a case manager! They can answer some of your questions about the resources available to you and how to get them. I would ask your therapist for details on getting a case manager. Then the case manager can focus on helping to get your lifestyle in order and you can focus on using therapy as a tool for recovery. Recovery is possible. If your therapist thinks you qualify for disability, apply. Donāt think twice about it. Theyāre trained to assist with these things. Good luck š«¶š»
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u/OliviaDairy Pasta Principessa š 10h ago
Before I started researching food insecurity, I also thought that each individual approval is made, when in fact, it is a large chunk of money that is sitting and waiting to be utilized. Stigma is the largest reason why people who qualify for government food assistance donāt utilize it. If somebody cannot work, disability services are literally meant for you. Most people can work, and despite a lot of people having to push through physical elements, Iāve had to validate my own best friend that theyāre not making it up.
Making the switch over to disability can be very costly because they do not grant disabled people enough money to elevate out of it, but with that being said, sometimes people donāt have a choice. Your therapist sounds like they might be knowledgeable on the subject and could possibly help facilitate the process.
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u/XIXButterflyXIX Sweet Tooth Fairyš§āāļø 10h ago
They do reviews on people who they think can get better, so think of it as using it just until your first review. I was the same way when I applied took 5 years and 2 denials until I finally had a hearing and they realized how bad off I am. With your pots alone you should be at least somewhat qualified.
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u/wekidough SATšŖš 10h ago
I wouldnāt feel guilty about using those resources. Youāve already paid for them through your income with all the taxes the government took.
I just want to say I totally sympathize. I have had TMJ, IBS, pelvic floor issues, and that head to toe pain youāre describing. Itās awful. If you ever need a pal to chat about it I got you girl. I hope that everything can go smoothly for you and you can take the time to recover !
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u/Strict-Profit7624 Overthinker š 10h ago
One person who needs disability does not take resources from another person who needs disability.
"I keep having to quit because my job is putting me on bed rest"
Sounds like you're someone who needs the resources.
What if you saw it as a short term goal until you get back on your feet? Allow yourself time to heal if possible.
Also, how many times have you had COVID? Cardiologists are seeing a lot of this. It's not your fault.
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u/Wooden-Repeat-9200 Savory Complexāļø 10h ago
That sounds like a wonderful path forward for you. I hope it helps you. Environment impacts physical and mental health so much, and mental health can cause physical pain.
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u/ChrissyNotChristy Well-Read & Well-Fed 10h ago
This was one of the most terrifying things to read this morning. I have been struggling for years to figure out what is wrong with my body, and I fell asleep last night learning about the nervous system. I experience every symptom you mentioned.
As someone who feels at least a fraction of what it's like to deal with what you deal with: take this opportunity. And know that you deserve the resources and you're worthy of using them. Best of luck. ā¤ļø
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u/Valuable-Prompt9281 APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
As everyone is saying, you arenāt taking from anyone. I am having the same concern with the difficulty of navigating the process. I have long covid and havenāt been able to work but it seems so hard to actually get it š Iām gonna have to try.
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u/Massive-Ant5650 šØ I scream, you scream, we're all screaming inside š 10h ago
You need these resources.
The system is horrible to navigate but there is help available from local aging and disability resource agencies.
There is an annual recertification required, and yes, while the US policy does push disabled people into poverty, if you take the time now to heal and recover as much as you can thereās a good chance you will not be pigeonholed.
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u/DelightfulandDarling APPROVEDāØ 10h ago
You deserve these benefits and are not taking them from anyone. Get the help you need.
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u/catkayak š Garden Gormand š„ 10h ago
- Raises toast - mine told me that I should really consider an in patient program, but when we realized there was no way to pay for it, asked if I had tried a Solar therapy lamp and taking saffron.
If only there was a disability tier for those of us who relate to feeling like a āfunctioning facadeā
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u/alltheblarmyfiddlest The Snack That Sasses Back 9h ago
Apply for disability. Start the process. There's no harm in it.
You're not stealing from someone "more deserving". You're not the one who gets to make that decision.
(The following is USA centered advice) Yes it can really be a long drawn out process. It's the same if you start now or you start 3 years from now. Now you have the work credits from SSA so maybe you may qualify for SSDI. Who knows. Only you, if you apply.
It helps that you have a medical professionals backing to start the process.
Apply. After the first denial, reach out and connect with a lawyer. They take your case on for free and only get paid if you get paid. Find a good one that's not scammy.
Youll likely qualify for an ABLE account should you get disability before you're 40.
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u/ZhugeTsuki š©µ Trans Babe š©· 9h ago
Hey girly. Im in a super, super similar boat. Was a disabled stay at home parent for like a decade, got divorced and went from not working to working 40-60 hr weeks in the restaurant industry (ssdi wasnt enough to pay the bills, thought I could work enough to make up the difference). Made it about... 2 years before my body and brain caught up with me. Very similar to what youre describing, I had to go on medical leave in March.
Just went back to work last week, 20 hours a week MAX. Now I get to keep my ssdi which pays my rent and utilities, and whatever I make at work is for food, extra bills, and savings or whatever. Suddenly there isnt the enormous 'I HAVE to be at work every possible second because I need as much money as possible' - I know my absolute basic needs are met already, I can hypothetically work like.. 4 shifts a month and be relatively ok. So, so much easier (less stressful) to manage your finances with both incomes, I can listen to my body when it tells me to stop. I left work yesterday early, there was nothing left to do so it was a 'make yourself look busy for 2 hours' kind of an afternoon, they didnt want to let me go because 'I would lose my hours' and now I can be like 'yeah i dont care, im good for the day lol' and just.. go home. Imagine if everyone had UBI :/
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u/InfamousMoose7147 Sushi Superfan š£ 9h ago
I've been in this same situation around this time last year. A lot of personal hardships + work stress made me depressed but I didn't see it or feel it myself. But my therapist recognized it and recommended I take some time off. I brushed it off because I didn't feel like I needed it. I felt selfish for taking something that others could benefit from. But she kept urging me to just consider it fully. And so I did. I realized I was struggling with basic hygiene, making food for myself, and sleep. So I decided to take some time off. Initially, it was only for two weeks but we kept extending as we decided. The system is difficult, yes, but your therapist will help and guide you through. I promise you will feel so much better after some time off. My therapist reminded me that we have seasons. We grow and grow, but we also need a "winter" to retreat. The retreating will reinvest in ourselves to prepare for the new spring. And what beautiful flowers your spring will bring!
All to say, best of luck to you! You aren't alone.
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u/Western_Limit_4706 Kitchen Witch 9h ago
Hey girly, take it some someone currently on disability for mental health for 9 months now because I am living through the hardest year of my life: If you don't take the time now, there's a chance that A) things get worse and B) you are somehow no longer eligible for support.
Ask your therapist how to navigate. In my world that initial claim starts with a family doctor or with a social worker if you able to hooked up with one. All I had to do was tell my family doctor it was time, she fills out a form, and I sent it to my manager. Everything else is pretty straightforward.
Labels only stick if you let them.
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u/Venaalex white girl with āļøš a full spice cabinet 9h ago
I turn 29 tomorrow, I was approved for disability right after turning 21. I fought applying for two years while in college thinking yeah I can just push through. I made myself SO much sicker.
You aren't taking anything from anyone these resources exist to help and imo they're minimal and often folks still need extra supports.
You aren't alone and if you need help navigating the process please drop me a note.
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u/jello_apparatus girl du fromage š§ 9h ago
Don't worry about deserving it enough. It is a bear to get through the process though so start talking to your providers.
Also, don't feel bad if it is hard to get or if you get it right away. That's more dependent on where you are/who hears your case than anything. You're describing a level of disability that needs support. Document your needs, get help with the process, explore what resources are available - if you can't live with your parents much longer, is there affordable housing? Etc.
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u/Salty_Science5956 š½ aliens built the food pyramid š½ 9h ago
Now trust me on this. Do not work yourself to death. You will deal with a lot more health problems down the road.
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u/FreshPotatoeButter APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
Girl, get the help you need. It doesnāt have to be forever but you need to get better.
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u/Broad-Dress-8484 Internet Auntie 9h ago
I'm a abuse, torture and trafficking survivor and I'm on disability. I also was in a car wreck with 48? surgeries from that.Ā It may give you the rest that you need combined with therapy to help maximise your recovery. I strongly suggest a disability attorney because it's an extremely convoluted process. Even with my history it took almost 4 years to be approved. Being in your position is very precarious because your relying on someone else for housing and with your parents divorcing you need to have a serious discussion because being on disability is not lucrative and Medicare has some of the worst mental health benefits there are. Don't get me started on prescription drug coverage. Being homeless is a real possibility just about every other month.Ā
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u/fungusdustangel APPROVEDāØ 9h ago
no harm in trying and whats helped me with similar symptoms is trying to be nicer to yourself. dont listen to the people who say you might not deserve it , if you are suffering and it will benefit you then you need and deserve it . you have to unlearn and undo a lot of the damage done to your nervous system, you got this friend.
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u/Junior-Discount2743 we listen and we only judge a little 9h ago
You do not have to pay upfront.
I had to open with that. Most disability lawyers take a percentage of what you receive so that you do not need to pay upfront. They make out really well in the deal, but without a disability lawyer, I've seen people struggle for years with appeal after appeal. The disability lawyer takes the full brunt of the anxiety and often is able to push the application through much faster. Sadly it can often be (a) pay a disability lawyer a percentage of what you receive, or (b) get nothing. That is the sad reality. People who've been through the process know about the struggle.
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u/pitayarose Tiny Bodega Rat š 10h ago
Youāre not taking resources away from anyone by receiving what you are qualified to receive.