r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 5h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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u/WingDairu 5h ago

This thread is full of people who really don't understand the point:

It's not telling you grandparent hugs are bad. It's telling you that ignoring other people's boundaries REGARDING THEIR OWN PHYSICAL BODY is bad.

This is especially important with kids, because it's important to teach kids that they're allowed to exercise bodily autonomy. If kids aren't taught that, it becomes far easier for someone to take advantage of them being trained to allow touching they don't want because they feel like they have to.

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u/Buzz_Mcfly 4h ago

Yep, sometimes my kids don’t want to hug my father in law and he said “awe but now you are making grandpa sad “. Without skipping a beat my wife said “well Grandpa is a grown adult responsible for managing his own feelings and kids arnt obliged to make him feel better”….. he didn’t know what to say, and I was so proud of my wife.

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u/Devastator2016 2h ago

Alternative point to a degree though, making a big deal out of it (even in more of a 'he probably wont want to') sense can really normalise you growing up to not doing so.

Thinking on it with shyness etc growing up beyond there, it might have some more connections to that then credited for. But also sometimes its a comfort zone thing, which sure can respect, but when its actually comfort zone and not really not wanting to then it could be a good easy gentle pushing area for getting out of comfort zones.

Least thats my side thoughts to it tbf. Case by case and all that. People making a big deal either way with smaller things tends to be the root of that thought though. Good one from your wife though anyway, dont mean to take away from that :)

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u/theatermouse 1h ago

It's like veggies. People used to force their kids to eat foods they disliked, and now there are tons of adults who say they don't eat xyz because they were forced to as a kid and now they hate it.

Current recommendations are to put a new food on the plate without comment (you can of course state what it is, either if kid asks or in naming all the foods for the meal). And that it takes 3-4 times on average (iirc) of seeing a new food for kids to try it and begin to want to eat it.

I think the "neutral" response to an offered hug and a hesitant child should be "you don't have to hug me if you don't want to, but I'm available if you do." And then moving on, either "can you show me your toys" or "how is school" or whatever.

I do think the mom in the above scenario was absolutely right for shutting down the attempted guilt-trip though - speaking as someone made responsible for managing adults' emotions and unwanted physical contact.