New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

[u/ArcherVisible5866]

[u/WingDairu]

This thread is full of people who really don't understand the point:

It's not telling you grandparent hugs are bad. It's telling you that ignoring other people's boundaries REGARDING THEIR OWN PHYSICAL BODY is bad.

This is especially important with kids, because it's important to teach kids that they're allowed to exercise bodily autonomy. If kids aren't taught that, it becomes far easier for someone to take advantage of them being trained to allow touching they don't want because they feel like they have to.

[u/Buzz_Mcfly → u/WingDairu]

Yep, sometimes my kids don’t want to hug my father in law and he said “awe but now you are making grandpa sad “. Without skipping a beat my wife said “well Grandpa is a grown adult responsible for managing his own feelings and kids arnt obliged to make him feel better”….. he didn’t know what to say, and I was so proud of my wife.

[u/DangerZone69 → u/Buzz_Mcfly]

lol so fuck grandpa for wanting to hug his grandkids? Like is this seriously what we’re doing lol. I get it if the kid doesn’t wanna hug grandpa he doenst have to but why give him shit for wanting to hug his grandkids?

[u/Disused_Yeti → u/DangerZone69]

if your buddy needs $100, it's ok for them to keep pestering you until you give it to them because they really need it? or should they accept the no and move on?

[u/DangerZone69 → u/Disused_Yeti]

Did you really compare a hug to $100 loan? Reddit sometimes jfc lmao

[u/DILF_MANSERVICE → u/DangerZone69]

The point is that you don't get to decide for other people how big a deal a hug is to them. You're only saying this because it feels normal to you. Don't assume everyone is you.

Also, $100 is like a days wage for most people. Unwanted physical contact could easily feel like a bigger deal than a hundred bucks.

[u/DangerZone69 → u/DILF_MANSERVICE]

Bro, what are you even saying right now lol threads like this remind me I need to spend more time outside. Like it’s normal for a grandfather, to be sad that his grandchild doesn’t want to hug him. It’s OK to not want to hug the grandfather. It’s not OK to force physical contact against someone’s will.

[u/DILF_MANSERVICE → u/DangerZone69]

Dude, no one is disagreeing with that. Everyone here understands the grandparent is allowed to be sad. Absolutely no one has said anything to the contrary. People are saying it was wrong for the grandparent to deliberately try to make the child feel guilty for not wanting a hug. There is a difference between being sad, and telling a child that their setting boundaries makes you sad. You don't just emote your feelings whenever you feel them regardless of how it may affect others, especially children. That's what emotional manipulators do; act really sad and pouty when they don't get what they want so the people around them feel guilty. If a kid is involved, and the thing that made you sad is something the kid is fully allowed to do, you don't make them feel bad. You could say "I would like to hug you, but you don't have to if you don't want to." You don't put the emotional burden of figuring out the nuances on a child.

[u/theatermouse → u/DangerZone69]

It’s not OK to force physical contact against someone’s will.

What you are either misunderstanding or willfully ignoring is that coercion IS forcing someone against their will. If child says "no" to a hug, Grandpa pouts and says "awww, you're making me sad!" and child reluctantly says "alright", that is coerced agreement, which is not really consent. Lots of ways to force someone into doing something that aren't just brute strength.

[u/Disused_Yeti → u/DangerZone69]

it's about being able to say no and not be obligated to do something you don't want to. apparently you have issues with being told no though and would rather laugh it off as a reddit problem than address your lack of respecting boundaries

edit: since you managed to get your comment deleted, just because something isn't important to you doesn't mean it's "the least important s***" no matter how much you want to think you are in the majority