r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 4h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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100

u/patmulligans 4h ago

If my wife or I ask my 2 year old for a hug or kiss, and she says no, we respect it. If she doesn’t want to, then we should not make her.

This is a good PSA, if you find it controversial then you are probably the problem.

2

u/gooberfishie 3h ago

If you think it's not controversial you haven't scrolled the comments

6

u/alzike 3h ago

some people forgot what the word means ig

-5

u/_ssac_ 3h ago

I agree with your point, to a certain level. 

However, "consent" is usually used for way more serious stuff than what can be a lesson about boundaries.

IMO, using the concept of consent, normally used for sexual relations (at least in Spanish, correct me if in English the concept is different) in this situation, is a mistake. 

20

u/Motor-Illustrator226 3h ago

Nope. Consent means giving assent to something of yours — your time, your feelings, your body. It doesn’t have to be “more serious stuff”. Every interaction that you don’t feel comfortable with, you gave a right to revoke consent.

-13

u/AlphonseLoeher 3h ago

You are right. Consent is being watered down. People are inappropriately using sexual language for these minor daily interactions.

15

u/patmulligans 3h ago

I had to sign a consent form for my photograph being taken at University, I had to sign a consent form for a tattoo, I had to give consent at the dentist for them doing dental work. The word consent isn’t explicitly sexual.

-28

u/MimeSweeper360 3h ago

The problem is that this ad places an unwanted hug from a grandparent in the same framing as a sexual assault. Since most people would consider an unwanted hug from grandma as a minor inconvenience, this ad can have a knock off effect of diminishing the importance of consent in sexual encounters.

22

u/anotherdepressedpeep 3h ago

No, it doesn't. These problems start at home from seemingly small events such as the one in the ad.

-12

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 3h ago

Sometimes, sure? Other times it really is just a kid being an asshole, and that shouldn’t be treated the same way. 

My grandma growing up liked to give more hugs than I felt was actually representative of her disposition towards me. I felt like she was being “two faced” by giving me a hug, and it made me uncomfortable.

Years later, I learned that she thought that I didn’t like her, and that a hug was the only time we connected, otherwise she would give me space. 

It’s not nearly as black and white as you’re making it out to be and yeah, this ad does a really shit job at showing that. 

12

u/directionatall 3h ago

not wanting another person to touch you is never being an asshole. that’s the entire point of the ad.

-6

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

Haha ok Redditor. Enjoy your echo chamber of pious misanthropy. 

4

u/directionatall 2h ago

i don’t think you know what echo chamber means…

-4

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

Google “reddit echo chamber” and then come back with what you find, stud.

4

u/directionatall 2h ago

yeah dude, we are disagreeing in this thread. as are multiple other people.

0

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

The top comment is literally in defense of the ad. Pop off tho 

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u/thisdesignup 2h ago

If she thought you didn't like her then why would she hug you? That's odd.

-1

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

Because loved ones try to maintain connections with loved ones?

You Redditors really are as you get stereotyped 

3

u/directionatall 2h ago

my brother in christ YOU ARE A REDDITOR

-1

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

Nah fucker. Someone who uses Reddit and someone who is a parrot of all Reddit ideals, masquerading as enlightened is a Redditor. I was there once. You’ll see. Reddit is a poor reflection of reality in so, so many ways. This ad included. Being ignorant, willfully or otherwise to that, is what makes someone the pejorative.

0

u/thisdesignup 2h ago

But hugging someone who doesn't like you doesn't usually do that.

0

u/NeedAGTS4POINT0 2h ago

Or older adults who have more life experience understand that outward behavior isn’t always reflective of inward disposition and keep light and low-threat instances of warmth as demonstrably available?

Fucking hell each time I engage with this website I’m reminded of how pathetic I was when I used to actually believe reddit reflected reality, because I fully bought into this nonsense. You’re what, 20?

2

u/HedonismBot90 3h ago

No it absolutely does not, watch it back, its a straight forward ad about its okay to not like physical touch and affection. Anything else is coming from your own brain.

3

u/HarveyDanao 3h ago

And yet another commenter who is ignoring the pathway from not having bodily autonomy over yourself during formative years leading to an underdeveloped sense of bodily autonomy in adult life. Which leads to more instances of abuse, sexual and otherwise.

-12

u/Jolly_Ad1631 3h ago

I don't find it controversial but there is probably ANY other example would be more impactful.

1

u/thisdesignup 2h ago

I don't think it would drive as much conversation if it was a more cut and dry, black and white, example. To get people talking it has to be something a lot of people agree with being fine, such as a grandmas hugs.

1

u/Jolly_Ad1631 2h ago

Maybe I'm an older generation. But old school drink driving ads were on the nose and graphic. Made me never drink and drive. This just makes me feel some people are over reacting to a hug from a grandparent. But ok.

1

u/-rosa-azul- 1h ago

Part of the point is that consent/bodily autonomy matters even in situations others may find benign. Some people enjoy hugs or at least have no issue with them. Others feel differently. If you want to teach a child that their consent for touching actually matters, you start with low-stakes situations (like a grandparent hug). Being empowered to say no in that situation helps build their confidence to say no in less-benign scenarios.

-26

u/Sign-Post-Up-Ahead 3h ago

I didn't realize getting hugs from grannie was a problem whether the recipient feels like it or not. It's your grandmother for god's sake!

18

u/Deleterious_Sock 3h ago

It is tho. I HATED getting showered with affection by old people I barely knew, and got shamed if I showed my displeasure. It trains kids to 'suck it up' and ignore their own boundaries.

Which primes them to be victims of potential abuse from someone else because they were trained to 'suck it up'

7

u/HarveyDanao 3h ago

Oh fuck I totally forgot, grandmothers can't have inappropriate or negative relationships with their grandchildren, even when they are smiling and want to hug you. Thank you, I was very confused for a second.

And can you please tell me where it says that children are obligated to do whatever it is that their parents/grandparents want, for any reason?

-7

u/Sign-Post-Up-Ahead 3h ago

Who said anything about kids being 'obligated to do whatever it is that their parents/grandparents want, for any reason?'

3

u/HarveyDanao 3h ago

I'm just going to brush past your ignoral of the first half of my comment.

Why should a child be expected to hug their grandparents? Is there a specific reason why this is an exception to bodily autonomy? Because if not, it seems like the argument boils down to "parents/grandparents say so, so kid must so it."