r/tfmr_support • u/pokemonfan211 • 1d ago
Seeking Advice or Support Heartbroken and Scared
Unfortunately I am having to post here. My nightmare started at 12 weeks where my US scan showed an increased NT of almost 7.5mm. We had received a clean NIPT a week before so this came as a terrible shock.
CVS confirmed Turners Syndrome, or NIPT was a false negative. We did all our research and were so ready to welcome our daughter into the world but understood the uphill battle she faced.
Today I am 16+1 and had an appointment with the mfm which she was able to clearly see the baby has HLHS. We are devastated as we know the survival of a baby with hlhs and turners is extremely low and that even if they do survive childhood it would be filled with surgeries and a short lifespan.
We have decided to TFMR. I am so devastated and heartbroken. This was our first pregnancy and I so badly want to be a mother. Unfortunately where I am doesn't allow D&C this late and we are looking at having to have a compassionate induction and while I now I am doing the kindest most loving thing I can for my baby, in so scared about this whole experience and the realities of giving birth to a dead baby and what she's going to look like.
Any advice or words of assurance would be so helpful if you've been through this. Thank you for reading
5
u/_wunderbarbara 1d ago
TW mentioning of LC.
I am so sorry for your loss ❤️
We TFMRd in Febuary at 14+6. I had L&D since where I live D&C is only recommended until about 12/14 weeks. I was also really scared of the experience. We already have a LC but back then I had a c-section so I did not know what to expect with the L&D.
Having to TFMR was traumatic overall BUT in a strange way the birth was also kind of beautiful. You can have and ask for all the pain meds you need, so please don’t hesitate. When our daughter was born I was able to hold and cuddle her and say my goodbyes. She was so so beautiful and I am so happy I was able to meet her and spend some time with her. We have a lot of pictures of and with her. We have her little footprints and were able to wrap her in a blanket. We were also able to give her a little knitted butterfly with which she is buried. Another knitted butterfly was handed to us, we keep it in her memory box with her photos and some other things we bought for her. The time we had with our daughter is so valuable for me and I deeply keep the memory of her birth in my heart.
Sending you a big hug 🫂