I'm so sensitive it's starting to mess my head

[u/cyrene224]

Since childhood, I've heard my mom and dad talking about nothing but my sister, she's like their ideal child. The moment she was born, I was non-existent and just kept around as a babysitter for her. She makes a mistake, I would get yelled at, she hurts herself, it's my fault somehow. All the sympathy they have goes towards her, the moment something happens to me, it disappears.

They taught her to treat me how they do it, I hear my mom laughing with my sister as they wish I was never born, I used to get so embarrassed that I'd sit in the bathroom for hours and cry until now one was home.

The moment I get yelled at, or even lightly scolded, I can't stop my tears and the worst part is that I can't just forget about the situation, it stays in my head for hours. It really makes me anxious, I try my best not to cry but I really just can't stop myself. I'm really not crying on purpose, I really just need some help stopping this. It's embarassing to cry in front of others, it feels like I'm seeking attention but I really just can't do anything. I can't afford therapy, I've tried everything I can at home but nothing has worked for me.

It makes me lose hope everytime it happens, I've started isolating myself because of this and I doubt anyone would even care about it. I don't wanna miss things out in life, even if there's no one close to me anymore, I just wanna live normally without feeling like a victim everytime, without overthinking about my past and future.

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[u/Background_Money_783]

Hey, I'm sorry about the hand you've been dealt with, no one deserves to be treated in that way. If your family constantly puts you in this position, you know what you need to do (distance yourself from them!). You are a victim technically but does that mean you stay a victim or do you do something about it where you are treated the way you deserve? Please don't learn to manage your unsolvable situation any more than it's necessary. Prepare to leave and definitely get to therapy as soon as you can because you need to get rid of the baggage they've thrown at you and you can't do that alone as well as you can with a professional that has studied for this. You need to choose self respect, you won't regret it. Best of luck

[u/MostMoistGranola]

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately you don’t get to choose your family, and it sounds like yours is abusive and mean. And even worse, they’ve made you the scapegoat of the family.

I promise you, there are good people in the world who will love you just the way you are. It won’t take away the pain of growing up in an abusive family, but it will eventually show you that it’s not your fault. You are ok.

Please try to get some help if you can. If you can’t, try to find something to help you survive this until you are an adult and free to leave. Drawing, reading, writing, dancing, do something creative. Find a teacher or adult around you who is kind. But be careful because sometimes adults prey on vulnerable kids in abusive homes. I hope you can find a genuinely kind adult to talk to.

I will pray for you. I don’t know if you believe in Jesus, but he does love you and he sees what’s happening to you. Please know he cares and he is there waiting for you to find him. He can comfort you and strengthen you. God bless you.

[u/Adorable_Owl_2493]

Look up Dr Ramani's work. You're going to need all the definitions you can cramm into your uead to help put a name to their behaviors. Surviving narcs is hell, but it can be done. You are being scapegoated and the best thing is to remember that you're the only one they fear otherwise they wouldn't need to grind you into the ground.

[u/seweso]

You are a victim of abuse and neglect if i read you correctly. You are being programmed to hate yourself beyond your control, remember that(!).

But its better to be a victim, than to make victims. So you be morally superior.

Can you rebel a bit more for your own sake? Give fucks about the right things...YOU.

Maybe some r/selflove first?

[u/lanjevinson23]

You are not too sensitive. You are acting appropriately in the abusive situation that you are in. It is totally unacceptable for your family to treat you this way but not uncommon, unfortunately.

If you’re still stuck living with them for a bit, try to refocus your attention on building confidence within yourself by learning something new, like a hobby or something like that. Treat yourself how you deserve to be treated: with love and respect. Building confidence will help you care less about what they think of you. And once that happens, you will naturally stop giving a fuck. Best wishes to you. You got this! 🌙✨

[u/Retro-Universe]

My advice is letting go of thoughts. Negative thought loops are what we can get stuck in. Be sensitive to your own feelings.

At some point you must accept these people are fucked up and it's their fault. No one can make you feel something you don't want to feel.

[u/Camarena951]

Damn hurting your own feelings

[u/Valerian_BrainSlug42]

Yeah, I had a similar upbringing. Eventually I just started my life and left everyone who didn’t value me behind. Life is too short to let people you love hold you back. I built my “real” family. Might be time for you to do the same. Even without other people, living on your own terms is liberating. Just stay out of trouble lol