r/funny • u/soyourlife So Your Life Is Meaningless • 12h ago

Verified This will not have a satisfying ending

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3.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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739

u/ImpulseAfterthought 12h ago

"My value is absolute. I do not answer the demands of lesser beings."

292

u/lazydogjumper 12h ago

"Correct, your current value is: absolutely 0. A higher value is required."

77

u/Mr_Industrial 11h ago

*sigh*

If you insist, ill reveal my ultimate power

*diagnally touches hands behind back*

40

u/Wind-and-Waystones 11h ago

I've got a friend who can do that and the. Bring his arms up and over his head without ever disconnecting them

Another person I knew saw it and spent an entire summer learning to do it not knowing the first guy was double jointed

10

u/jdb050 9h ago

*Hypermobile, but yes.

It’s not always a great thing to be honest.

I can put my entire left arm behind my head, wrap it underneath my chin, and grab my left ear. It was a cool party trick as a 7-year-old, now I just have to be extra careful when I do pull-ups or similar motions because I’ll injure my shoulder if I let myself naturally hang and go too low before pulling up.

4

u/Wind-and-Waystones 9h ago

His elbow joints are literally different to other people's not just hyper mobile. I debated using hyper mobile but it doesn't actually give the mental image correctly

3

u/jdb050 9h ago

It sounds similar to what I have except he’s got it in both arms and he probably can dislocate his shoulders more or just in different ways. It’s still pretty much just hyper mobility, but it includes “subluxation” which is the medical term for partial dislocation. His hypermobility probably enables him to literally dislocate his shoulders without significant pain or noticeable damage.

2

u/OffaShortPier 6h ago

The operative word is "noticeable". I found out I was hypermobile in my shoulders since a young age. I could slightly dislocate them without any pain. Thought it was a neat party trick. Im 25 now, and if I'm standing up, I have to slightly tense certain muscles in my shoulders or they'll do the same partial dislocation under the weight of my arms.

1

u/corbymatt 4h ago

Useful for retrieving objects off the floor, no doubt

1

u/OffaShortPier 4h ago

Yes actually. Having that extra inch or so of movement has proved very useful when retrieving stuff from awkward places.

2

u/kcrab91 9h ago

Why didn’t you tell them he was double jointed? They needed to first learn to be double jointed before learning that trick. You can’t start at step 2.

1

u/FublahMan 5h ago

Beware, only use it in the most dire of circumstances! I used it, once upon a time, with the seaire to do good. But through me... it created joint pain too great and terrible to imagine!