r/funny • u/soyourlife So Your Life Is Meaningless • 11h ago
Verified This will not have a satisfying ending
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u/ImpulseAfterthought 11h ago
"My value is absolute. I do not answer the demands of lesser beings."
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u/lazydogjumper 11h ago
"Correct, your current value is: absolutely 0. A higher value is required."
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u/Mr_Industrial 10h ago
*sigh*
If you insist, ill reveal my ultimate power
*diagnally touches hands behind back*
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u/Wind-and-Waystones 10h ago
I've got a friend who can do that and the. Bring his arms up and over his head without ever disconnecting them
Another person I knew saw it and spent an entire summer learning to do it not knowing the first guy was double jointed
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u/jdb050 8h ago
*Hypermobile, but yes.
It’s not always a great thing to be honest.
I can put my entire left arm behind my head, wrap it underneath my chin, and grab my left ear. It was a cool party trick as a 7-year-old, now I just have to be extra careful when I do pull-ups or similar motions because I’ll injure my shoulder if I let myself naturally hang and go too low before pulling up.
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u/Wind-and-Waystones 8h ago
His elbow joints are literally different to other people's not just hyper mobile. I debated using hyper mobile but it doesn't actually give the mental image correctly
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u/jdb050 8h ago
It sounds similar to what I have except he’s got it in both arms and he probably can dislocate his shoulders more or just in different ways. It’s still pretty much just hyper mobility, but it includes “subluxation” which is the medical term for partial dislocation. His hypermobility probably enables him to literally dislocate his shoulders without significant pain or noticeable damage.
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u/OffaShortPier 5h ago
The operative word is "noticeable". I found out I was hypermobile in my shoulders since a young age. I could slightly dislocate them without any pain. Thought it was a neat party trick. Im 25 now, and if I'm standing up, I have to slightly tense certain muscles in my shoulders or they'll do the same partial dislocation under the weight of my arms.
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u/corbymatt 3h ago
Useful for retrieving objects off the floor, no doubt
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u/OffaShortPier 3h ago
Yes actually. Having that extra inch or so of movement has proved very useful when retrieving stuff from awkward places.
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u/FublahMan 4h ago
Beware, only use it in the most dire of circumstances! I used it, once upon a time, with the seaire to do good. But through me... it created joint pain too great and terrible to imagine!
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u/milk4all 11h ago
Your value to others is the question, and those lesser beings wont suck your dick without it
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u/MercenaryCow 10h ago
So sucking dick makes you a lesser being? 🤔
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u/MCBusBoy 10h ago
If we're honest dick suckers are higher beings. They are doing God's work and I, for one, salute them.
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u/Omikapsi 5h ago
It's always amused me that the default expected power dynamic between sucker and suckee is that the suckee has more power, when in reality it's very much the opposite.
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u/X_x_Atomica_x_X 4h ago
I'm both willing and desire to suck dick and yet there is a surprisingly lacking amount of dicks presently available to me.
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u/mattchamp98 10h ago
Ok settra
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u/Mordador 6h ago
Did you mean "Settra the Imperishable", the "King of Kings", "High King of Nehekhara, the Khemrikara", "Lord of the Earth", "Monarch of the Sky", "Ruler of the Four Horizons", "Mighty Lion of the Infinite Desert", "Great Hawk of the Heavens", "Majestic Emperor of the Shifting Sands", "Eternal Sovereign of Khemri's Legions" and many, many more...?
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u/ZSpectre 11h ago
He so far shows how much value he has by knowing how to ask clarification questions in response to an ambiguous prompt
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u/Yarius515 11h ago
Yes! That guy's too smart for their dumb system. Be ungovernable!
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u/Umikaloo 9h ago
The fact that he immediately started identifying issues with thier system tells me he'd be a good debater.
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u/ceebeefour 11h ago
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans
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u/Zenanii 11h ago
My solution is to never have a plan.
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u/Funky0ne 10h ago
“That is a bad strategy”
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u/pmcall221 10h ago
Every job interview feels like this
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u/cammcken 7h ago
For me, the college application essay hits this feeling the hardest. Change "time allotted" to "within X words or less".
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u/FrenchMilkdud 11h ago
Bro missed the perfect opportunity to do the ‘magic’ trick where you pull your thumb off and re-attach it.
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u/FublahMan 7h ago
Nuerodivergent people in a nutshell. Reference: self.
Halp
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u/Omikapsi 5h ago
Absolutely. We will question ambiguity until it's resolved or we're forced to stop.
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u/FublahMan 4h ago
I must understand all context before i can take action!
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u/sdarkpaladin 11m ago
To be fair, I don't clock myself as neurodivergent.
But I have encountered people who give fucking ambiguous tasks and processes. Then when I make my own judgement, I get hit with the "Why would you do it like that!? Don't you have any common sense?"
Like... If they would have just given me precise instructions if they are so anally fixated about the process instead of the outcome, we wouldn't even have that discussion.
Oh... And... There's also the kind that despite the above happening, when I try to clarify even more, they would go "I'll let you handle this." Bitch, the last time I did that, you gave me flak for it.
Seriously, I don't know how people like those become managers.
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u/SilverSpark422 4h ago edited 3h ago
I’ve romanticized that unhealthy mental framework so hard that I think this comic is now my personal heaven. This is probably bad.
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u/Langstarr 11h ago edited 3h ago
Reminds me of that Python sketch.
5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 0! tsk tsk oh dear...
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u/Halfwise2 10h ago
GREETINGS PROFESSOR FALKEN
HELLO
A STRANGE GAME.
THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.
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u/flexiblefine 8h ago
Do I just not get it? I’m a depressive, and this is my perpetual self-doubt billed as funny.
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u/Omikapsi 5h ago
The joke is that the system is ambiguous, but questioning it is not an option. The expectation is that the questioner just pick an interpretation and comply to the best of their ability.
Much like in real life. It's a combination of dark comedy and observational humour.
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u/Transmit_Receive 9h ago
Wait, what, you're winning?
You didn't say this was a game
Well, I guess I'll just have to play and play
Until I'm out of cash
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u/Pantallithraxodus 7h ago
smh you just spoiled the whole point in the title... no suspense left lol
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u/Devil_May_Kare 1h ago
The US government figure for the value of preventing a fatality is something around 8 million dollars these days. Without any more information to go on, I'd say that's a good first stab at an estimate.
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u/idontreadyouranswer 9h ago
That does it. This is the “cartoon” that finally made me unsub from r/funny. What the hell is this low effort bull crap? I laugh at everything. There’s nothing remotely funny about this and yet it has 700+ upvotes. Fuck this sub, it’s a dumpster fire of non funny crap
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