r/WouldIBeTheAhole • u/burnerasf3536 • 1d ago
WIBTAH if I don’t tell my friend’s BF that she is cheating on him
Using a burner bc I rather not have this traced back to me or them. For the sake of explaining the situation I will be using fake names.
My best friend Monica has been dating Chandler for the past 4 years with on and off long distance due to school. Chandler reached out to me asking to talk which I thought was odd, bc our convos have only ever been about Monica and Chandler has never reached out to me like that. Chandler and I do not have an established friendship outside of Monica. He told me he thought Monica was cheating on him, I told him I hadn’t heard anything about that from Monica (which was true at the time) and that I was sorry that was happening, but I really didn’t know anything. I told Monica about it after Chandler and I hung up, and Monica told me that she was not cheating on him.
That brings me to last night, when Monica told me that she “wasn’t *really* cheating on Chandler” but a situation was happening and that’s why Chandler called me the other day. When I asked her to elaborate she explained that there is a guy she has been snuggling with and having sleepovers with but they (according to her) haven’t been hooking up. I explained to her that even if they really aren’t hooking up that the cuddling and sleepovers are considered to be emotional cheating. She said she’s torn between the two guys but that she’s in love with Chandler and wants to spend the rest of her life with him.
I know this is unfair to Chandler, I don’t support any form of cheating and I know what Monica is doing is wrong. But Monica is my longest friendship and I do care for her, even though I could never justify her actions/behavior in this situation. From what I know Chandler is a good guy and deserves the truth, but I don’t know if I should be the one to tell him what is actually going on. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to lose Monica as a friend and if I told Chandler what Monica has been doing, I would lose her forever. I just feel so bad because someone has to tell him, but I know Monica won’t and as far as I know the only ppl that know about what’s going on is Monica, the other guy and myself.
So, would I be the asshole if I didn’t tell Chandler what’s going on?