being selfish for the right reasons took me way too long to learn - that doesn't mean be an asshole but it also means don't feel guilty for doing so either
The thing I have learned, narcissists in our society are the ones that gaslight us into not taking care of ourselves by creating this idea that it's selfish. My guess, as someone who cares for a narcissist elderly lady, is that it's bc of a "how dare you not just always be available for ME" mindset
the world only wants from you what it can get out of you. this can lead to a lot of self-neglect and putting yourself second if you're not careful.
as someone who has narcissistic personality disorder run hard on both sides of their family, i was raised as a people pleaser and will likely never fully reprogram that out of me.
i envy people who didn't end up like that and dont feel guilt over putting themselves first in situations they should.
I find that sometimes I still Gaslight myself into not taking care of myself when I'm sick because I can't be sick because other people are sick some weird form of denial
This has been a huge revelation for me. Our parents made us feel “needy” for needing anything but it’s ok to need things and advocate for yourself. You’re not a jerk because you have things that need to be cared about, too.
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u/Smart-Satisfaction-5 8h ago
I guess I have 5 more years of caring.