r/Millennials • u/LumpusKrampus Millennial made of Hotdogs • 10h ago

Meme It was still common when we grew up, right?

I don't think I could live with myself if I did it to my own kid these days, to be honest

1.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

518 comments sorted by

View all comments

161

u/Rustedcrown 9h ago

Why yall got parents denying hitting? My parents advertize it freely like it was somthing they where proud of doing and finish off with a "and look how great you turned out!"

41

u/Yandoji 9h ago

Well, that's your fault for turning out great, now isn't it?

/j

52

u/hardlybroken1 8h ago

My parents yelled at me that i am "raising their grandkids WRONG" by NOT hitting them. (We dont see them anymore...)

36

u/Rustedcrown 8h ago

My grandma used to yell at the top of her lung that the only reason theres so many mental illnesses now is becuse "kids aren't getting their asses beat enough"

7

u/theseedbeader Older Millennial 4h ago

My grandfather (who abused my mom horribly) once told her she didn’t hit us enough. Thank goodness he lives out of state and I haven’t spoken to him for years. He’s now my only living biological grandparent, and he’s a very hateful person who has somehow cheated death for years despite some serious illnesses.

8

u/lochness3x6 3h ago

Even death doesn't want his ass

12

u/over-it2989 6h ago

Mine would forget everything.

“Hey mom, remember when you bought two bamboo canes to hit us with so you wouldn’t have to get up and do it?”

Apparently not.

11

u/IsabellaGalavant 7h ago

No no, my mother was a perfect beacon of patience and understanding according to her. All those bruises? Must have gotten those at band practice (?). The CPTSD I was diagnosed with due to the abuse? Someone else must have hurt me! Definitely not the woman who choked me to the point of almost passing out, hit me so hard on the arm I couldn't lift it for a week and had a softball-sized bruise and welt, grabbed and dragged me across the floor by my hair, beat me so savagely with a large hardcover book (the 4th Harry Potter book) that I had bruises from the back of my neck all the way to me knees... yeah she definitely didn't do any of that according to her. 

7

u/epicureme11 9h ago

And did you? Turn out great that is.

24

u/Rustedcrown 9h ago

Besides all the weird mental issues i somehow ended up being the most financially stable in the family, but i think thats becuse i hate the idea of being dependent on someone.

I also have 0 interest in commiting to any relationship with anyone.

11

u/ImminentDebacle 86' 8h ago

It's unfortunate that despite our childhood trauma many of us still turned out okay. It just reinforces to them that what they did was okay, and they will die thinking it.

9

u/TheWolfOfGroveStreet 7h ago

Its ok they'll die alone thinking that

3

u/Artichokiemon Hi-C Ecto Cooler 6h ago

Jokes on them, my brother and I both spent a decade as junkies, and my sister is full no-contact, as well as a step-sister who was also a junkie that committed suicide. They fully fucked up 4/6th of their kids

-1

u/ernirn 5h ago

And jokes on my parent. Two whooping was all it took for me to figure out how to behave and then grow up to be a functional member of society.

There is no one size fits all explanatiin to "how we turn out." Negative reinforcement works on some and not on others. (It definitely took my brother more than twice). In my case, the threat was enough to curb my behavior. I knew my parents meant business without haveint to push it. And I also knew that my parents loved me and always knew what amd why I was being punished if I was

1

u/Astra-Fang Millennial 2h ago

You are supporting beating kids when all science shows you can get better results without it.

1

u/ernirn 2h ago

Everyone here was talking about personal experience. I shared mine 🤷‍♀️

2

u/lochness3x6 3h ago

Gotta give my mom credit, she's actually apologized a lot.

6

u/epicureme11 8h ago

I totally get both not wanting to be dependent on anyone both financially and emotionally.
I try to focus on and surround myself with positive. That helps keep the weird mental issues at bay. But damn, they're always lurking. Waiting for me to let my guard down.

5

u/Appropriate-Bug-6467 5h ago

Sounds like a maladjusted trauma response

You can't be dependent on anyone because your family taught you through abuse

5

u/DoringItBetterNow 8h ago

My brother got scammed by so many women. Even co-signed a loan. 😂

3

u/Rustedcrown 8h ago

My distrust of peeps is stronger then my sex drive, any hint of a red flag and im already out

•

u/AggressiveQueef 1h ago

Same with mine, especially my father who won't just talk about how he used to hit my and my sister, he will like list off a bunch of times and incidents so he can remind us why we deserved it. He also says it was just tough love to tell us to lose weight when we were like 13 and like, standard sized kids or that we were stupid if we got a lower grade on a test once or that we looked ugly if he didn't like the style of makeup we wore. He still says that it's constructive to say things like that to kids 😒 My kid is a happier little kid that me and my sister were and it makes me happy to teach him things in a way that doesn't obliterate his self confidence and I've never considered hitting him because I don't think of the lesson when I remember all the times I was hit, I remember how terrified I was of my dad and how much pain I felt and how many times he hit me in a row. I find it easy to discipline in a way that teaches him that a certain action or behavior is bad but doesn't destroy him mentally or make him wonder if I love him 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/PineBNorth85 1986 7h ago

Probably because its a lot less popular now and generally frowned upon.

1

u/Emperor_Palpatine_2 6h ago

The attitude would vary between not remembering hitting me, hitting me right then and there for the sheer love of abuse, and DARVOing me about how I was such a shitty child I gave them no choice and it did far worse damage to them.

1

u/DiceMadeOfCheese 5h ago

Well my dad's excuse was "I was on a lot of drugs, I don't remember a lot of things."

•

u/ashbash-25 Millennial 24m ago

Inspire of. Not because of.

My favorite reminder.

1

u/unoriginal_npc 8h ago

lol my parents told the school they could hit (spank) me.

1

u/Pure-Agency2052 8h ago

For me my mum brags about the emotional and verbal abuse