I can’t go with you, I have plans

[u/Graeleaf]

[u/YouGlittering9156]

I'm a guy, but... if you were labeled as a procrastinator growing up because you wait until last second panic hits to do tasks, it's very indicative of ADHD. You probably find it strange because you actually WANT to do said task, but you can't force yourself until that panic sets in. You probably are critical of yourself and tell yourself that you're just lazy because that's what you've heard.

[u/scruffalump → u/YouGlittering9156]

I was and still am sadly, what you wrote describes me perfectly and I HATE it. I could never understand why I'm like this. Really simple tasks always seem daunting and impossible to complete, even mundane things like just picking clothes up off the floor. Have you found that medication makes the executive dysfunction much better, or (fingers crossed) does it make it go completely away?

[u/YouGlittering9156 → u/scruffalump]

I feel like I can't live without it now, but medication isn't perfect. It's a tool to help you, and it requires being used correctly. It's much more beneficial if you're intentional when you take it.

Let's take an example of me working from home:

- If I wake up, go to my work laptop, and take my medication (vyvanse) with the intention of focusing on work, then it works wonders

- If I take my medication and go on reddit, then I'm going to focus on reddit, making it not beneficial at all. The medication is great when you're actively thinking about picking up those clothes on the floor, then taking it

Some personal notes:

- it doesn't work well at all if I don't get enough sleep

- it doesn't help give you the initial intention/motivation, that's something you need to do to help

- going for walks/getting enough sunlight helps (might be hard to motivate yourself to do until being on medication and going to therapy)

- therapy alongside medication is extra beneficial

- making the initial appointment is tough, but eventually you'll have to get that motivation and do it

My personal journey:

I actually had all of the symptoms of ADHD, but I initially signed up for therapy due to my depression/anxiety. I started out at a new job working remote for the first time, and that's when you'll be fearful of the possible outcomes of not being able to get your work done. I actually started out on Wellbutrin because I thought the reason I couldn't get myself to work from home was due to depression. That medication was actually the biggest game changer for me, although I'm no longer on it. It has similarities in how it works to adderall/vyvanse, but not quite. It helped me get out of my depression and focus a little bit, but that's what helped me realize the depession wasn't my biggest issue being able to focus on work tasks. It wasn't until 4-5 months on that medication until my Psychiatrist recommended I get tested for ADHD, because she saw the symptoms but couldn't diagnose ADHD through the platform I was on.

p.s. I say Wellbutrin was a game changer because I can't even accurately describe what it did and how it worked, but it made me feel like a normal human for once. The craziest thing it did was slow down my brain and get me out of my head. I actually felt dumber because I was no longer thinking at 100 mph, but that shaped a few things. Pre-medication, I absolutely hated how I looked in the mirror, always have. After the medication, it somehow made that go away and I felt content with the way I looked. When I went on dates after the medication, it was like I was actually dating to date and truly get to know someone. It's sad, but pre-medication when I went on dates, it was more about trying to feel normal. I was no longer wearing a mask, and I was able to start going out and doing things. Hell, I signed up for a dance class for the first time in my life, something I never thought I'd be able to make myself do. It wasn't until I got on medication when I finally had my first long term relationship because of that mindset shift, being able to now date intentionally, actually wanting to learn about my partner and care for them instead of only being able to worry about how they perceived me.