People who have to use idioms and metaphors every sentence

[u/Savings_Double5039]

You don't have to say "I'm so tired I feel like I just plowed the whole field with a two legged mule on a sunday after pot luck at gramma spencers house in the middle of the night!"

You can just say "i'm fucking tired man."

"It's hotter than a chili cookout on the 4th of july on the hottest summer of the century after a cold shower with a one legged mule on a cotton field on the 4th of july during a 4th of july party!"

you can just say "it's damn hot."

I used to work with a guy like this. I suppose i would've disliked him less if he wasn't always perving over every female he saw.

[u/deviance79]

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

[u/Due-Blackberry8056]

Some things just sound better.

[u/DoFr56 → u/Due-Blackberry8056]

And it does not have to be nasty.

The last hottest day, I saw a cat chasing a mouse around the corner of a building, and they were both walking. It was hot!

[u/Potential_Cress1967]

What if it’s colder than a penguins pecker? Can I say that?

[u/Sherpa2001 → u/Potential_Cress1967]

You mean the beak?

[u/Fantastic-Buyer2381]

Still, those are some awesome extended metaphors. 

[u/Cajoling_Mole]

I'm as horny as Kansas in August. Oops!

I meant corny.

[u/Old-Sun-3737]

I'm more tired than a witches teet in heat on a Friday the 13th

[u/Sherpa2001]

You should check out Orwell's "Newspeak." I think you'll dig it.

[u/Paintguin]

Maybe that’s how they were brought up

[u/Former_Specific_7161]

Sounds like how Charlie (moistcritical or whatever) speaks. Every Other sentence is a stupid analogy about poop.

[u/Available-Leek-1399]

Dude, I know that specific type of guy because I have interacted with one. And half the time I don’t even know what he’s saying as English is my second language and I don’t know some idioms that might be obscure or whatever it’s annoying nonetheless, it really is cause you can just speak like a normal person you can use colloquial language. It’s not gonna bite you dude.

[u/hydratedstoner]

Never move down south lol

[u/Impressive-Ball3716 → u/hydratedstoner]

Was about to say this… We love a good descriptive expression.

[u/Strange-Dig-3049]

Poetic perverts are common. Shakespeare was one.

[u/Frodo_gabbins]

Damn just say you hate southerners /s

[u/WarmHippo6287]

Where I live (Midwest), they don't take you seriously if you don't add that stuff on. "I'm tired" means you can still work. "I'm so tired I feel like I just plowed the whole field with a two legged mule on a sunday after pot luck at gramma spencers house in the middle of the night!" means gone get you some rest honey.

[u/NextCitron7303 → u/WarmHippo6287]

gone = go on

[u/WarmHippo6287 → u/NextCitron7303]

well, yes that's what it means. but I wrote it exactly how they would say it.

[u/GayHorsesEatHayy → u/WarmHippo6287]

I think they were just translating for the non natives

[u/Ominous_Opossum]

It always cracks me up when people get pissy over someone talking differently than they do. It’s almost like that’s one of the things that makes people
unique 🤣