As someone who was an abusive relationship I got these kinds of comments often from my friends, which only ended up making me more isolated. I see often times women being shamed for picking a bad partner or staying with a bad partner. I see this kind of mentality even in feminist circles and I dont think people understand it can be really dangerous to leave a abusive relationship and people can not do that if they dont have a very strong support system. Judging women for their abusive relationship leads them to isolate themselves and feel like their abuse is their only option and that they have no one.

EDIT: My post is not referring to anyone who had to cut someone out of their lives because it was affecting their mental health or safety. Research suggests that telling women just to leave is not helpful and lack of support and judgment can cause women to not get help. IT TAKES WOMEN 5-7 TIMES TO SUCCESSFULLY LEAVE IT IS INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS, SO YES THE MENTALITY THAT IT IS SIMPLE TO JUST LEAVE IS VERY HARMFUL.

The mystery of what happened to Amelia Earhart lives on. But the pioneering aviator became an enduring icon for generations of lesbians and LGBTQ+ people.

I was scrolling through Youtube Shorts and came across this video. I don't really know names of celebrities (some might say I live under a rock).

But from the context given, this is a model giving an interview.

She is asked what she would have become, if she wasn't a model. She responds that she always loved math and would have gotten into rocket science.

So the interviewer asks her „Whats Pi?“ and she recites it perfectly with like a dozen digits after the comma.

To me it seems like the interviewer is suspicious of the model and indirectly accuses her of only imagining/performing being good at math and therefore asks her that question to verify, if she is really worthy of even considering becoming a rocket scientist.

Then I do not feel like a man would ever be asked that- And even if he was and he didn't know the answer, he would not be judged for it. Whereas if she would not have had a „satisfying“ answer, the comments would've ripped her to shreds.

(Oh and also I fully believe that you can be interested and passioned about something while NOT knowing EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF INFORMATION about that interest, like please?)

I've never quite understood why lineage, surnames and family identity have traditionally been passed down through the paternal line.

Kings could have multiple wives. How exactly did they know which child was theirs? The mother, at least, was always known.

And yet, somehow, it's the father's surname that the child is expected to inherit.

Make it make sense.

I can't imagine carrying a child for nine months, dealing with nausea, going through childbirth, and then having that child carry someone else's name instead of mine.

Thankfully, that's not a dilemma I'll have to deal with, because I'm childfree by choice 😂

But marriage is another story.

I've watched so many of my friends change their last names after getting married.

And in some communities in my country, specifically the state I belong to, women are expected to change their first names, too. Sometimes, they don't even get a say in what their new name will be.

Excuse me?

I've spent my entire life being a person with a name. An identity. A history.

Why should getting married mean I have to give any of that up?

I refuse to change my name.

I refuse to deal with all that paperwork just because I married someone.

And I refuse to treat my identity as something that automatically needs to be altered when I become someone's wife.

And I already know someone will inevitably show up to say, "But your surname belongs to your father. A man."

Thank you, genius. You've understood the problem perfectly.

Patriarchy is so deeply rooted that even the names many women inherit come through men. That doesn't mean I need to keep passing the same expectation forward without questioning it.

I understand that some women genuinely want to change their surnames after marriage. That's their choice and there's nothing wrong with that.

But why is the expectation only on women?

Why isn't the man's surname equally up for discussion?

Women of this subreddit, did you change your name after marriage? Would you ever do it?

Inter-caste marriages are great as long as both the concerned parties love each other. However, I find the argument “If you want casteism to end, marry girls from unoppressed sections to boys from oppressed sections” rooted in r*pe culture. Why not simply say that boys and girls from different caste backgrounds should marry each other? Why specifically girls from one section and boys from another? Does this imply that casteism won't end if girls from oppressed sections marry boys from unoppressed sections? If so, why? Casteism is also rooted in patriarchal social structures. Casteism should definitely end, but these kinds of misogynistic statements need to change, too, because uplifting one community shouldn't mean degrading women of our country.

WOMEN ARE NOT YOUR TOOLS TO PROVE A POINT.

I don’t know but sometimes i feel that everything is soo misogynistic and patriarchal in our society then I question myself only about my opinion that if it really is that problematic or am I thinking too much.

For example- relationship pressure after marriage for a girl is different. I mean don’t know about other countries but in india it is like a women needs to put efforts to make good relationships with the guy family but it is not sane for the guy.
He will be privileged at both the homes
I mean i can write a book on things but still I wouldn’t be enough

I think one of the things I hate most about the way sex is portrayed in our society is how deeply misogyny has become intertwined with it. How violence against women has been sexualised to the point where being slapped, choked, spanked, degraded and humiliated has become almost synonymous with being sexually desirable. How so many men have learned to associate hurting women with pleasure, and how little thought is given to what that actually means.
I don’t want to be treated like a porn star. I don’t want to be treated like a woman whose purpose is to fulfil somebody else’s fantasies, whose body exists for somebody else’s gratification, whose humiliation is somebody else’s pleasure. I am a person. I am somebody’s daughter, somebody’s friend, somebody who has feelings, fears, insecurities and a heart that can be broken. I am a human being who deserves tenderness, consideration and love. And I want to be treated like one.
What bothers me is the idea that the person who claims to love me could look at me and want to hurt me, even in a sexual context, and see that as desirable. I understand that people have different preferences, but I cannot separate the things I have mentioned from the culture that has normalised them, from the history of women being objectified, degraded and treated as though their discomfort is an acceptable price to pay for male pleasure. I cannot pretend that the normalisation of these things exists in a vacuum.
And I hate how often women are expected to accept these things as normal, as though we are supposed to be flattered by the idea of being desired in ways that make us uncomfortable. As though being wanted is enough, regardless of how we are wanted. As though a man’s desire is something so precious that we should be willing to set aside our own feelings to satisfy it.
I don’t want that kind of desire. I want to be loved. I want to be touched with tenderness. I want to feel that the person touching me cares about how I feel, that my comfort matters to him, that my pleasure matters to him, that I am not simply a body he gets to do whatever he wants with. I want intimacy to feel like two people who love each other, not like a performance copied from an industry that has made violence against women profitable.
And perhaps what upsets me most is the thought that we have reached a point where I even have to explain why I would rather be treated gently by the person I love. Why I would rather be kissed, held, caressed and cherished than degraded. Why I want to associate intimacy with affection, warmth and love rather than with violence that has been made sexually appealing.
I don’t want to feel like a character in somebody else’s sexual fantasy. I want to feel like the woman he loves. I want to feel that he sees me, that he cares about me, that he wants to give me pleasure because my happiness matters to him, not because he wants to recreate something he has seen or because he thinks that hurting me is what makes sex exciting.
I don’t believe that love has to look the same for everyone. I don’t believe that everyone who enjoys rough sex is misogynistic, and I don’t believe that every person who performs in porn is being mistreated. But I do believe that we should question why violence against women has become so normalised in our sexual culture, why degradation is so often confused with passion, and why tenderness can sometimes seem almost boring in comparison.
I want a love that makes me feel cherished, not objectified. I want to feel desired without feeling reduced to my body. I want to feel vulnerable without feeling degraded. I want to know that the person I trust with my body is someone who treasures me as a person, not someone who sees my willingness to love him as permission to disregard my feelings.
Because to me, intimacy should be an expression of love, not an excuse to suspend it. And I refuse to believe that being desired has to mean being degraded, that being loved has to mean accepting things that make me uncomfortable, or that violence becomes romantic simply because it happens behind closed doors.
I want to be loved in a way that reminds me I am human. I want to be touched in a way that makes me feel cared for. I want to be with someone who understands that my body is not a prop, my discomfort is not an inconvenience, and my boundaries are not obstacles to his pleasure.
I want to be loved like a person, because that is what I am. And I don’t think that should ever be too much to ask.

I just had a argument with a friend (white male) about feminism. He always complains about radical feminist and "men haters" and how its such a big problem. I asked him why he never complains about the manoshere and after that we had a heated diskussion that dident lead anywhere. Im just so tired about always being the one to educate men about these basic things and its so fucking draining.

Following a month long ongoing problem in July 2024, I was placed in Ohio’s Safe at Home Confidentiality Program. This program is a safety precaution and extremely powerful prevention program when risk of your information being public places you in a dangerous situation.

Not every victim-survivor has a story or crime committed against him/her that qualifies as a need for registration into this program. It is a process and you have to be referred into the program.

The reason I was placed into it is because my abuser wrote my phone number and the words “Good Lay” on downtown Cincinnati bar urinals, which resulted in calls and texts from unknowns that were threatening harm, rape, and death. These threats were not only made to myself but against my children too.

One quick Google search of my phone number gave them access to my address, awareness of my children, and created a highly unsafe situation.

Because of this, I was also given a domestic violence safety phone, in case my abuser or an unknown party got ahold of my phone, preventing me from calling the police if needed.

The phone was also incorporated into one of my children’s crisis safety plans that was created with his therapist, but we’ll get into that portion of my story in another post.

Fast forward to Sept 24, 2025 at a hearing for divorce with children in Clinton County, Ohio, and despite knowing of what had occurred and that my children and me were in the state’s Safe at Home program, the magistrate over my case – in response to a request made by my abuser’s legal counsel on behalf of my abuser – threatened me with contempt, if I did not read that safety phone number aloud in court for our abuser to have unprecedented access to us and our safety.

The threat of contempt charges in itself is coercion, which my case was already littered with regarding the lived abuse done by our abuser.

To go a step further, our abuser’s USMC recruiting command out of Columbus (Ohio) not only ignored the originating issue of my number and “good lay” being written in bar urinals, which was directly related to a recruiting event my abuser was attending in that area at that time, but they also ignored the consequences that followed his actions that were solely placed upon myself and our children. This was an action that was performed by their own Marine recruiter and on their own watch.

When the command was asked for their assistance in the matter, only denial was received. And did their Marine, our abuser, get held accountable in any way? No. The only parties that received consequences was, yet again, myself and children.

This is one of many reasons as to WHY victims do not leave their abusers. It is also one example of how systems act as an extension to the abuse.

For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I am speaking my story, not concerning myself with retaliation (it’s definitely a “thing” in and out of the court room), and I’m using my lived experience to hopefully enlighten and educate, while also creating change in how our systems act as an extension of the abuse to survivors.

And yes, this USMC recruiting command (4th Marine Corps District) is still operating out of Columbus, allowing such things to occur to spouses in DV marriages tied directly to this small command’s oversight. More worrisome, they are the current command and these are ongoing and current actions performed by their own Marines that are recruiting your children from high schools.

And yes, this same magistrate is still and has a long history of doing the same to other survivors.

If this is happening behind closed doors, what are they doing to convince your child to enlist so that they hit their “numbers” for the month? I know the answer, which will also be in a future post. 4th Marine Corps District

**I want to differentiate between what happened to me in family court in Clinton County Ohio and this command from all family courts, judges and magistrates, and US Marines.

I am in NO way implying all are like those that I personally experienced. In fact, I actually believe the opposite and want to encourage that same distinction**

Help spread the awareness by sharing this and any of your concerns to those who can do something about it. These are the types of topics that directly impact us all and need to be discussed.

My story will hopefully be airing on your local news soon. I will provide updates when I am concretely certain of them.

#domesticviolenceawareness #IamJaneDoe #metoomovement #metoofamilycourt

Why are some men misogynistic, and what makes them believe they are superior to women? Is it because of how they were raised, societal expectations, personal insecurities, or the desire to control women? Why do some men judge women for their choices, appearance, and independence while expecting freedom and respect for themselves? Why do they feel threatened by confident, successful women who refuse to follow traditional gender roles? Is misogyny rooted in toxic masculinity, fear of losing power, or the belief that women should be submissive? And why is it so difficult for some men to recognize their sexist behavior and understand that women deserve the same respect, freedom, and opportunities as men?

It shocks me how many incels there are in the comment section >:( no wonder my country (Singapore) is such a horrible place for women :((

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Hello all! I'm a 36 year old woman and just had my first baby last year. I'm a socialist and I've considered myself a feminist since I was a teen but didn't really start delving more into theory until I was in my 30s. I started listening to right wing women by Andrea Dworkin the other day, I find conservative women to be a very interesting demographic, but I'll be honest, I'm feeling a little alienated.

I'm not a very ambitious person, I have professional aspirations but mostly my hopes for my life have always centered around family and self. I want a comfortable home to live with my loved ones and to enjoy my hobbies, that's about it.

Girl boss feminism, therefore, meant very little to me, I am much more interested in class dynamics surrounding sex, so discussions about commodifying anatomy is super fascinating, but I'll be honest, a lot of the book is bumming me out.

Obviously it's not a "fun" topic, but Andrea constantly referring to women as objects to be fucked and to give birth makes me feel like my own choices to marry and become a mother are not considered valid ones.

I understand the point, I don't think she's saying that's what sex and motherhood ultimately are, just what they are reduced to in a misogynistic society. I guess I just wanted a minute to vent a little, I find content that is positive about motherhood to be conservative propaganda in disguise, while most left wing analysis is critical of marriage and parenthood at best, disdainful at worst.

I know that I grew up in a society that pressured me into these decisions on some level, but I genuinely don't feel like they aren't mine, I feel joy about my husband and child, I feel ownership over my life. I don't think my values and politics are at odds and wish that wasn't the stereotype.

The patriarchal system treats women as a fragile object that needs a guardian and a protector, which might seem beneficial for a woman as she becomes someone else's financial responsibility, but at the same time, it takes away her rights and freedom.

Despite the patriarchal system treating women as fragile and needing a guardian, if a crime occurs (whether harassment or murder or rape), it blames her and expects her to accommodate the 'man', and suddenly she turns from the fragile little thing into a cunning woman who enticed and invited the poor 'logical' to commit the crime

Surrogacy should be opposed, because a woman’s womb is not a commodity for trade. Essentially, surrogacy commodifies women’s bodies and reproductive capacity, turning babies into purchasable goods.

In the surrogacy industry chain, surrogate mothers are often women in financial hardship. Lured by money, they rent out their wombs. Throughout pregnancy, they are treated merely as birthing machines with no autonomy at all. If the gender of the fetus fails to meet the client’s expectations, forced abortion may occur. Forced termination can also happen if complications arise during pregnancy. Worse still, if the commissioning party backs out, the newborn baby may be abandoned.

Surrogacy seriously violates the personal rights of surrogate women and the human rights of infants. We must firmly oppose surrogacy in all its forms. Human beings cannot be commodified. Women’s bodies must not become tools for transactions, and reproduction cannot be a means of making money.