Pic from youtube

Hi everyone, I’m a 22-year-old gay male from Southeast Asia seeking some relationship advice. Growing up, I only dated four girls during high school, but none of those relationships worked out because I never developed intimate or emotional feelings toward them. I’ve never dated a man before, largely because I live in a homophobic country where most people are closed-minded, and I grew up in a strict Christian household where same-sex relationships are completely taboo. I came out to my parents back in 2021, it didn't go well, but at least the initial shock has passed.

Because I’ve had to hide this part of myself for so long, I feel like I'm starting from scratch. My close friends often describe me as a romantic and shy person, which I definitely agree with. However, because of my environment, I don't really know what my "type" in men is, and I have no real sense of how gay dating dynamics work in practice.

Since finding local men to date feels almost impossible or unsafe here, I’ve been considering a Long-Distance Relationship (LDR), but I’m not sure if that’s a realistic or healthy place for a beginner to start. I really want to build a genuine, romantic connection, but my shyness and total lack of experience make the whole prospect feel overwhelming.

I would really appreciate any advice or shared experiences from this community. How did you figure out your type or what you wanted in a partner if you started dating later in life? Is LDR a good idea for someone in my situation, or are there major pitfalls I should watch out for? What safety precautions should I keep in mind when connecting with guys online in a conservative country? And lastly, do you have any general tips for a shy, romantic guy taking his first steps into same-sex dating? Thanks so much in advance for your help!

Eu sou o Rodrigo e queria saber seu tem algum homem de são Paulo ou região que gosta de homem afeminado

Today, I was walking down the street when a group of teenage boys on motorcycles approached from behind. I heard one of them say something along the lines of, "He's gay. Everyone slap him."

I turned around when I heard them. It seems they changed their minds when they saw me turn toward them, so nothing actually happened.

But honestly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

I'm gay, and I've experienced bullying and psychological harm because of it since childhood. Those experiences have affected my life in ways I don't even want to get into. I've struggled with loneliness, I don't feel free to move around my own town without worrying about how people might treat me, and I haven't been able to travel and build the life I've always wanted.

And then something like this happens.

I'm not just upset about what almost happened today. I'm exhausted by the fact that these experiences keep repeating themselves. I'm older now, but sometimes it feels like I'm still that same kid who couldn't just exist without worrying about being targeted for who he is.

I know nothing actually happened today, and maybe some people would tell me to just forget about it. But it's hard to forget when it reminds you of years of experiences you've been trying to move past.

I'm tired of having to think about my safety just because I'm gay. I'm tired of feeling like I can't live as freely as other people.

I just want to feel safe. I want to walk down the street without having to worry about something like this happening.

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to tell someone who might understand.

I am gay, but I am currently in a relationship with a boyfriend who is homophobic. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

I posted here 1 week ago that I left my home because my identity was leaked to my family and friends. Local WhatsApp groups have been spreading my photos so that they find me and possibly kill me. I am now in a nearby town 70km from my home. You guys have suggested me to some queer NGO rescue and help groups. I contacted them and they did not respond. Some of the people who saw my post dmed me and offered financial help and encouraged me to not give up.i truly thank you guys for the support. My next step right now is to hide as much as possible and get further away from my family as I rebuild my life. I will keep you guys updated...

hate when people assume i’m straight …

Alright, sorry that this is another "Confused about sexuality" Post on here, but I am truly confused.

I already know that I'm omni, I have a longing for romantic and sexual activity, however I have never ONCE felt romantic attraction to someone, it's really confusing because I desire romantic dedication and such, but no one ever stands out to me.

That's really all, apologies for the "I dont know what I am" post for the 8700th time, I really am curious though. Ask me any clarifying questions that you may want! Thanks for your time!

I hope the flare is ok

Before anything i need to clarify that im very much an adult ( 25F)

I need a guy to marry (preferably from iran or somewhere close) so we both get our families off our backs, leave middle east, and once we both had enough money and legal status somewhere else then we get divorced

I wanna know how to find such a guy

Hi everyone! My name is Emma Paidra, and I'm a reporter with LGBTQ publication, Uncloseted Media I'm currently working on a story about GHB use amongst gay men, as I understand the drug to be very popular, while also carrying a lot of risk.

I'm looking to speak with gay men who have used GHB, or have noticed a spike in the drug's popularity. I'm hoping to ask questions like: Why do you think this drug has become so popular amongst gay men? If you've used it yourself, what kind of affect do you find it has? Have you ever struggled with GHB addiction/seen friends deal with this?

If you have questions for me, I'd be happy to answer them and can be reached at [emma.paidra@unclosetedmedia.com](mailto:emma.paidra@unclosetedmedia.com). Hope to hear from you soon!

Tristan addresses ye majesty with his lovely Chrystall Ball

So, I've been dealing with this question for years. I came out as bisexual to my family when I was a teenager. It was a fear I had on my childhood; with my mom it was more difficult than my dad, but even if my worst fears don't end up come true I know we can't talk about that freely.

It came to my mind more recently this question when they mention that "as a parent it isn't that simple to accept certain things about their own children".

I realate when it's talk on media about wanting to be love whole; the wrongs, the rights, the good things, the awful parts... It makes me sad and makes my mind spiral when I realated to things on my life.

My parents say they love me, but I'm not sure if you can love someone when you can't accept things that they can't change or control. And if I found a partner of the same sex, I'm not sure how things would unfold.

I also don't know how to handle my family that is not of my nucleus, like my uncles, grandma, much older cousins or so... The majority are so homophobic, it's not only their debates where they said that the LGBTI+ should be hidden, that it's not good, from God or said comments on the style " they all look normal now", "I couldn't imagine he were gay", "they shouldn't be dress like that", "they are degenerates", "I'm not against them, but they shouldn't be kissing or holding hands in public" and so much more.

I'm just wondering if that's how they talk of me, if they where to change towards me if the ones that don't know, knew. Will I be an abnormality to them? An unnatural being that choose that path? Or at their eyes I shouldn't been born?

P. S: Sorry if I have bad grammar or there are things that don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

I love being gay. I love our community, our history, and everything generations before us fought to give us. But loving a community doesn't mean pretending everything about it is healthy.

We've spent decades fighting for the right to be ourselves, to love openly, and to live without shame. But somewhere along the way, I think we've mistaken liberation for emotional intimacy, desirability for fulfillment, and isolation for strength.

We fought so hard for the world to recognize our humanity. Maybe it's time we started doing a better job of recognizing it in each other.

This isn't coming from a place of moral superiority. I'm part of this community, and I'm not exempt from criticism. I'm saying it because I care about us, especially the generations coming after us.

So, with love, frustration, and absolutely no intention of sugarcoating it, here are seven things I think we need to talk about.

1. GO TO BED!!

Sleep. Every night. Seriously. Your sleep deprivation is showing, and it's not cute. You cannot expect to maintain your mental health, relationships, or emotional stability when you're constantly running on empty.

1. YOUR LONELINESS IS LITERALLY KILLING YOU.

Stop using hookups to fill your loneliness. Get a friend, a hug, or a firm handshake.

You're more valuable than your anatomy or the number of people you've been with. And if you don't believe you have anything else to offer, then work on becoming someone you value.

Physical attention is not the same thing as affection. Being desired is not the same thing as being loved. And having 500 followers who want you physically is not the same thing as having one person who will show up when you need them.

1. MONOGAMY.

Stop pretending monogamy isn't a legitimate goal.

What the hell is the point of getting married if you're still going to be cruising when that's not what you actually want?

It's okay to be with one person FOREVER.

Stop shaming people into open relationships who don't want to be in them. And stop agreeing to open relationships because you're afraid the alternative is being alone.

If an open relationship genuinely makes you happy, great. But don't confuse accepting something with actually wanting it.

Please see #2: Loneliness.

1. DRUGS.

Easy. Stop it.

If you're doing recreational drugs more than twice a week, I don't consider that occasional anymore. It's time to seriously examine your relationship with drugs.

If you cannot function or perform daily tasks without a substance, seek help.

If you're taking prescription drugs that weren't prescribed to you, seek help.

We need to stop normalizing behavior simply because everyone around us is doing it.

Something doesn't become healthy just because it's common.

1. OLDER GAYS AND SUGAR BABIES.

If you're going to financially support a sugar baby because you want companionship, commitment, and exclusivity, then have the self-respect to expect those things.

If you're paying someone's bills while they're seeing other people, and that's not what you agreed to, what exactly are you getting out of this?

Stop accepting arrangements that leave you feeling lonelier than you were before.

You deserve genuine affection, regardless of your age or financial situation.

1. OLDER GAYS, STOP TRAUMATIZING YOUNGER GAYS.

We have a responsibility to the generations coming after us.

Stop exploiting inexperience, emotional vulnerability, and the desire to belong.

Just because someone is legally an adult doesn't mean every relationship is equal in power, experience, or expectations.

Personally, I think 26 and up is a reasonable boundary when pursuing significantly younger partners, and even that's young.

Be a mentor. Be a friend. Be someone who helps younger gay men navigate the world instead of becoming another experience they have to recover from.

1. YOUNG GAYS, I'M SORRY.

I'm personally sorry we've done such a terrible job setting you up for success.

You don't know how much I mean that.

We inherited generations of shame, secrecy, discrimination, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. And instead of breaking those cycles, too often we've passed them down to you.

But y'all are the wave changers.

You have an opportunity to build something better. Better friendships, healthier relationships, stronger communities, and a culture where being gay means more than being physically available.

Stand up. Question what you're being told is normal. Don't fall into destructive patterns simply because the generations before you did.

Please don't continue decades of toxic behavior.

Do better than us.

---

AND FINALLY...

If you read this and none of it applies to you, good for you. Move on.

If something here made you uncomfortable, angry, defensive, or even relieved, I hope you take some time to figure out why.

Whatever you're feeling is okay.

Being gay can't be fun every day, all day. We all have bad days. We all get lonely. We all need support.

And we desperately need a better internal support system.

We've dehumanized the gay experience so much that some people would rather show their behinds than their faces.

Well, I see you.

You matter.

You matter more than your body, your intimate history, your relationship status, your bank account, or how many people want to be with you.

And I think it's time we reminded each other of that.

SO HERE'S MY PROPOSAL.

On October 21, Spirit Day, I propose 24 HOURS OF TRUTH.

One day of abstinence.

No hookups. No recreational drugs. No booze.

No chasing validation. No pretending we're happier than we are. No measuring our worth by how much attention we can get.

Just one day to reconnect with ourselves and each other.

Call a friend. Have an actual conversation. Check on someone who's been quiet lately. Tell someone you appreciate them. Let yourself be seen without needing to be desired.

One day where we prioritize connection over consumption.

One day where being gay isn't something we perform for other people.

No vices. Just us, in our true state, exposed.

Truly raw dogging it.

A new kink: TRUTH.

if my daughter comes out as trans she is NOT my daughter anymore,he is my son!