r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 5h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

[removed] — view removed post

9.2k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

0

u/Additional-Sock8980 4h ago

Yeah they are.

People need to cop on, don’t want any physical contact, hand up and say oh no thanks I don’t do that.

This bull about being responsible for others unarticulated feels is stupid. And it muddies the real water. Consent for actual sexual contact is very very different to someone saying hello when visiting your home.

2

u/Critical_Object2276 4h ago

So what’s the line? There is somewhere between sexual contact with a stranger and hugging a relative. Where do you draw the line?

0

u/Additional-Sock8980 3h ago

The line is reasonable behaviour and some reasonable effort to say no.

There has to be a line. I once met someone who reported someone because she felt the person was having thoughts she didn’t like. No sexual or touch thoughts, just thought she didn’t like. The person wasn’t having those thoughts.

1

u/Critical_Object2276 3h ago

That would suggest that some sexual contact is ok if the other person doesn’t say no.

1

u/cyne-wolf 2h ago

the statement, taken literally, is completely true. Some sexual contact is okay if the other person doesn't say no. The vast majority of sexual contact is not done with explicit consent, in fact. You are allowed, and expected, to kiss your spouse without asking every time.

2

u/Critical_Object2276 2h ago

Which brings me back to my original question.

So what’s the line? There is somewhere between sexual contact with a stranger and hugging a relative. Where do you draw the line?

0

u/Additional-Sock8980 2h ago

Obviously not.

However I don’t see a world where it becomes “hello, do I have consent to offer you a handshake.”

“ I do consent to your offer, do you consent to me making the first move and putting my hand out for a handshake? “

“I do consent to that and now I will also respond in kind. Do you now consent to our hands touching to preform a handshake?”

Fundamentally people need to learn to read body language in schools and to become comfortable putting boundaries in place. In that ad,hand up and say oh no I don’t do physical contact, but it’s good to see you; is absolutely fine. I’m fed up of the nice couple being made out to be predators in this ad, when the internet adds its views in.

1

u/Critical_Object2276 2h ago

Who’s making them out to be predators?

1

u/Team503 1h ago edited 1h ago

Oh you can just offer your hand, and if someone says "Sorry, I'm uncomfortable with handshakes" you just accept it and don't take offense.

EDIT: Thread is locked, so my response to the below comment is that the extension of the hand for a handshake IS consent, just like opening your arms for a hug is consenting to be hugged. It takes TWO, you see.

0

u/cyne-wolf 1h ago

Yes, but now you're reading body signals. How do you know that the other person offering their hand wants to be touched without explicit communication?

In other words, you're back to "Hello, do I have consent to shake your hand."

There is in fact a world where you can read body language and assume consent for physical touch, and also stop if they say no. That's how normal people interact.