New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

[u/ArcherVisible5866]

[u/rhiddian]

100% disagree with this ad.

However- let me explain.

I disagree with the subject choice NOT the message. Consent is VERY important. But so is context. Telling a whole.countries wirth of kids they dont have to hug grandma is stupid.

Kids don't automatically understand social obligations and we c9nstantly teach children to do things they don't want to do.

Say thank you. Shake someone's hand. Apologise when you've hurt someone.

If Grandma has travelled three hours to visit and her grandkids refuse to acknowledge her because theyre too busy playing Minecraft, a parent is perfectly justified in expecting them to make an effort.

Why should physical affection automatically be exempt from this lesson?

And a child might not feel like hugging Grandma, but teaching them to consider Grandma's feelings isn't necessarily teaching them that their body belongs to somebody else.

And... How far do we take it? Shit like this risks turning regular family bonding interactions into something clinical.

Like... Do I have to ask permission to tickle my daughter? To put an arm around her? Does she have to ask before she climbs onto grandmas lap? Before she hugs her mother?

This ad is stupid. Not because we shouldnt teach bodily autonomy or consent. But because it targets a fairly small group of people thay feel enough discomfort to want to.say no to a hug from grandma. Maybe this should been an autism ad.

But there are waaaay more pertinent examples to use to teach kids bodily empowerment.

Edit:

Let me explain how I deal with this with my daughter.
All real scenarios with Grandma.

"Go hug grandma"
"I dont want to"
"Why not?"
"Im shy"
"Ok. That's ok. Maybe you can give her a hug later."

"Go hug grandma"
"I dont want to"
As she is staring at bluey on the tv.
"Oi. Dont be rude."
She goes and hugs grandma.

Grandma goes in for a hug and she shies away.
"Whats going on kiddo?"
She starts crying.
"I dont want grandma to go home."
"I know. Me neither. Thats why you should give her a hug. So she knows how much you will miss her."
She runs in for a hug from grandma.

The world isnt black and white.
You can navigate it without always needing to make it clinical. If I just let her not hug grandma because she didnt want to... there would be multiple opportunities for lessons lost here.
1. Bodily autonomy - you dont hug her if you dont feel comfortable.
2. Dont be rude. Stop what you are doing to properly greet loved ones.
3. Its ok to be sad. And hugging grandma shows her how much you care.

Also, I teach my daughter bodily autonomy. If she doesnt want to hug grandma, she doesnt have to. But I am teaching HER to say no. Teaching her to advocate for herself.

Not to passively wait for / expect others to ask for permission.

Because the situations where I want her to be able to standup for herself... Are situations where others would probably ignore her boundaries... Not grandma wanting a hug at christmas. Ffs.

[u/Unreal_Daltonic → u/rhiddian]

People lost the plot, they really don't get that asking for consent for something like a kiss is not the same as a handshake.

[u/North_Atlantic_Sea → u/Unreal_Daltonic]

People lost the plot. They really don't get that asking for consent for something like french kissing a stranger in the bus is not the same thing as a cheek peck from your grandma

[u/coffee_nights → u/North_Atlantic_Sea]

Ya I'm seeing a lot of basement dwellers all of a sudden become developmental child psychologists in here. Very uneducated ones.

[u/Smart_Horror1268 → u/coffee_nights]

And I’d bet that most don’t have kids, but they still think they’re experts.