r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 4h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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u/FearlessPressure3 3h ago

My family thought I was mental when, as soon as she was old enough to understand, I let my niece choose if she wanted to hug me or not. And for seven years she never initiated one and shyly refused if I asked but I always just let it go with “that’s fine” even as other relatives continued to force her despite her being clearly uncomfortable. She still doesn’t always want to but I like to think that the hugs I do get are more special. Her younger sisters, on the other hand, are like limpets and can’t get enough hugs!

9

u/FullofLovingSpite 2h ago

Shit, good call. I will do this with my nieces. I don't push them with anything, but the hug hi and bye is just automatic. However, one is in middle school now, so it's especially a good time to give her options. Saying no to hugging her uncle would make it a lot easier for her to say no to others, and I want her to be powerful, so that will help.

6

u/mystery_obsessed 2h ago

It’s bonkers to me reading all these comments about how children should be forced to hug people. How does blood relations overrule consent over one’s body. As if having consent over one’s body is going to make them unsociable. Or “because I had to” is a genuine reason to decide kids believe they have no autonomy.

The biggest reason for this is because when you force kids to give physical affection, you are telling them that body autonomy is not real, and consent is conditional. Plus, given so many family predators there are, you don’t want your kids thinking they have to physically do things just because it’s a family member.

So, thank you for being one more adult in the world who believes kids are people.

-7

u/NahMcGrath 2h ago

Please ask for consent before holding your daughter's hand next time. Or kiss her good night. Or dress her. In fact, never touch your children ever again without consent. Because some family member may rape them.

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u/cocotett 2h ago

Its about teaching them that its ok to say no, and that a no should be respected 

2

u/FearlessPressure3 1h ago

Deep down you know that’s a straw man fallacy.

2

u/mystery_obsessed 35m ago

If my daughter pulled away when I went to hug or kiss her, I would not make her. I reach out my hand for her to take it, I don’t just grab it as we walk along. My teenage son only likes good night hugs, I don’t force him to hug me at other times. If I reach out and he pulls away, that’s him demonstrating consent. I read their cues and body language. You become very in tune with your own children. And many times, yes, I ask if they want a hug or a kiss to feel better and leave it if they don’t want to be touched. They’re people.

Helping your own children with life tasks, health, and safety has nothing to do with what we are talking about, that’s a completely different thing. The point is, never have I ever forced affection. That’s insane.

-2

u/ElegantEchoes 2h ago

Your family is a tad mental.