r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 4h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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898

u/bluepushkin 3h ago

I was the first child in my parent's friend group, first kid in my generation for my family. I was hugged and kissed constantly. Didn't like it. Ever. No one ever cared that I didn't like it. It was funny to watch a baby, then a toddler and then a child bawl their eyes out and try to get away from grabby adults. Guess who is now 35 years old and still doesn't like people touching them? It's me.

146

u/TangerineNo7118 3h ago

I’m the EXACT same.

I had a funny interaction recently! I don’t like hugging people (only if I haven’t seen them for a very long time or on special occasions). Met this girl a few days ago, we hugged when we met, I didn’t like it but I’m used to it at this point. When we were saying bye, she asked me if I mind hugging when saying hello. I told her no, I don’t mind and you know I really meant it. Was thinking about it all the way home. Literally just because she asked and because I no longer felt obligated or weird for not enjoying this social interaction I didn’t mind doing it.

I’m 27 and this was the first time someone has asked me this.

All my life I refused, was clearly not enjoying/uncomfortable, no one ever cares. Sure it’s just a hug! 😩 horrible stuff.

16

u/aaronious03 2h ago

I'm typically a hugger. Hug my brothers, friends, etc. My sister in law doesn't like hugs, so we first bump when saying goodbye. And that's totally fine. Every now and then, she'll ask for a hug, and that's cool too.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting hugs.

8

u/indicabunny 1h ago

I don't mind hugging but I always ask "Can I give you a hug?" if I haven't seen someone in a while, or saying goodbye, or saying thank you, whatever it is, its just so much more polite than assuming.

I don't get overly offended when people just hug me but when they ask first it shows that they care about how you feel as a person. I like people who are conscientious of others and I try to be that way too.

1

u/100_cats_on_a_phone 25m ago

I've been told I'm the most awkward hugger. I do a half arm and shoulder pat. I take some pride in that.

With my close people I do sometimes real hug, or just lean.

I've also been told, unprompted, I give amazing hugs. But it's always someone I'm comfortable with I'm trying to comfort or provide a feeling of support to. Even if a stranger. And it's more about hitting the right pressure spots to help someone relax while hitting none of the wrong ones, and using your arms, not your hands -- keeping your hands where they aren't near anything.

3

u/ratrazzle 1h ago

Kinda same. I like to hug close friends or my partner but im very picky about it and used to hate all touch. Now that ive had few friends ask if i mind i actually really like cuddling with them. It is nice.

15

u/Brilliant-Shine-3310 2h ago

I remember hiding under the coat pile at family parties so that people wouldn't hug and kiss me.

7

u/chestypants12 2h ago

sending hugs /s

2

u/DonHarold 2h ago

Same here and what was even worse than the laughs were the adults getting offended because I pulled away from a kiss from an aunt or uncle I only see once every five years. My parents would even scold me for being disrespectful.

As if basic respect includes a near-stranger’s right to put their nasty mouths on me.

3

u/panicnarwhal 1h ago

my mom got pissy when i said “she doesn’t want a hug, mom, and that’s okay” in regards to one of my kids when she wanted a hug and my kid hid behind my legs. she was tired and cranky, but even if she wasn’t, if she doesn’t want hugged its fine!

my family hates that i don’t make my kids hug and kiss them on demand

i see no problems with this ad, i can’t believe this isn’t normalized. i thought it was gonna be a way different ad when i saw “controversial”

i guess consent is controversial now?

3

u/indicabunny 2h ago

I was also the first baby in my family. I didn't particularly like being hugged and kissed but I don't remember it being forced on me in a traumatic way. I think there's a balance, as a kid you should be taught to be polite, kind, and loving to your family members and how to show affection properly. However, if your kid is literally bawling their eyes out every time they get a hug then that's when its time to take a step back and respect their space. There are other ways you can teach your kid to greet their family members that don't involve physical touch, especially if its distressing for them.

2

u/Ok_Clock639 1h ago

I’m the same way too! Feels weird to complain about being hugged too much as a child lol, but legit that’s what it is. I hate being touched now and feel like it’s messed me up a lot in my adult life. Like I’m 33 and have never really dated or anything because of it. 

Some of my family members who have had kids make comments about they should hug me hi or bye and I ALWAYS offer a high five or wave as an option and leave the ball in their court. 

1

u/StaceyTheStaceExplrr 1h ago

Do you believe if you had been allowed to exercise more bodily autonomy that you would be more open to it now as an adult, or is it more a case of having a preference and keeping it through development?

2

u/am_Nein 42m ago

Not that redditor but from other experiences I've read about, it depends. Some always stay the same in that they don't like/want it, some eventually are fine depending on the person and circumstance as long as it's within their bodily autonomy

0

u/I_travel_ze_world 1h ago

....I guess children are getting their eye brows pierced now and are as tall as adults?

this advert really sucks at trying to get its message across.. lol

-2

u/Ashamed-Review-913 42m ago

okay, so go through life just not touching people, don't tell other people not to touch people. Not everyone is like you. Why should we PSA to the world how everyone should behave to cater to you?

-3

u/11912121121218211919 1h ago

well at the end of the day, you know what i really like about you?

you don't dwell on things.

-3

u/flatspotting 1h ago

I mean, to play devils advocate here.... it sounds like you were never, ever going to like touch either way. So at least all your family got some special hugs and moments?

3

u/am_Nein 39m ago

No. If you can't bond with a child without making them so uncomfortable they cry when they see you, the only "special moment" you got was knowing you saw a kid cry out of fear and discomfort and you laughed in their face the same way people laugh at an animal being purposefully agitated for views because it's "cute".

-14

u/adds-nothing 3h ago

How tragic

6

u/Amazoncharli 2h ago

If you don’t see how this affects relationships as an adult, it is tragic

3

u/YouCanCallMeToxic 2h ago

Accurate name