I'm a woman in my 40s who moved to Austin a few years ago. There are tons of things I love about living here, but I've found trying to build a social circle surprisingly lonely.
I've had so many genuinely great conversations where I feel like we really hit it off...we exchange numbers, talk about getting together, and sometimes make plans, only for someone to flake or for things to just fizzle out. It's becoming a little soul-crushing.
I've lived in other cities and have never experienced this to nearly the same degree. I realize making friends in middle age is different, especially once your kids are older and you're past the stage of built-in social opportunities through little kids, but I've always considered myself a pretty outgoing, social person, and I've never found it this difficult to turn connections into actual friendships.
I've met a handful of women with established social circles. They're getting together, going out, celebrating birthdays, taking trips, etc. And I can't help wondering how anyone new is supposed to break into those circles. Sometimes it feels like everyone has already found their people and there's simply no room for anyone else.
I realize this might sound a little "woe is me," which isn't my intention. I'm genuinely curious whether other people have experienced something similar (especially those of you who moved to Austin as adults) or if there's something about the social dynamics here that I haven't figured out yet. Is it the nature of living in a bigger city, where people establish their own smaller communities and stick to them? Are people just less inclined to follow through socially? Or is everyone so busy with their existing lives and friendships that making new ones isn't much of a priority?
If you've managed to build genuine friendships here as an adult, how did it happen? I'm not expecting instant best friends, but I'd love to feel like I'm building a community rather than having an endless series of pleasant conversations that go nowhere.
Thank you for any/all advice!!!