r/AITApod • u/IlonaDreamyFern • 1h ago
AITA for crying after my boyfriend forgot my birthday but remembered his female best friend's?
I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for almost three years.
Last week was my birthday. I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a little attention from the person I love.
He completely forgot.
No flowers, no dinner, not even a happy birthday until I reminded him that evening.
He apologized and said he'd been stressed with work. I understood, even though it hurt.
But yesterday, I found out he'd organized a surprise dinner for his female best friend's birthday, which is next month.
He'd already booked a restaurant and bought her a gift.
When I asked why he could remember her birthday but not mine, he said I was making unnecessary comparisons and that she was just a friend.
I started crying, and he told me I was being dramatic.
Now he's barely speaking to me because apparently I made him feel like a terrible boyfriend.
I genuinely don't care about expensive gifts. I just wanted to feel important to him.
AITA for getting upset over this?
TL;DR: My boyfriend forgot my birthday but planned a surprise dinner for his female best friend. When I cried, he called me dramatic.
4
u/Calibigirl69 56m ago
This pops up in various formats at least once a week. If your guy has a female best friend...run
4
u/ArrivalFantastic4324 28m ago
“I made him feel like a terrible boyfriend“
He is a terrible boyfriend and you deserve better.
If he cares enough about her birthday to organize a party and can’t even remember to say happy birthday to you then that’s pretty unforgivable. I’d find a better BF who doesn’t have a female bestie. NTA
3
2
u/Similar_Corner8081 9m ago
NTA throw the whole man away. He cares more about his female best friend. Been together 3 years and he did nothing.
2
u/SnoopyHNB 9m ago
You need to leave him. I’m sorry but it’s true, he is actively playing in your face and dismissing you. Dont ask for advice if you won’t take it
1
u/AutoModerator 1h ago
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for almost three years.
Last week was my birthday. I wasn't expecting anything expensive, just a little attention from the person I love.
He completely forgot.
No flowers, no dinner, not even a happy birthday until I reminded him that evening.
He apologized and said he'd been stressed with work. I understood, even though it hurt.
But yesterday, I found out he'd organized a surprise dinner for his female best friend's birthday, which is next month.
He'd already booked a restaurant and bought her a gift.
When I asked why he could remember her birthday but not mine, he said I was making unnecessary comparisons and that she was just a friend.
I started crying, and he told me I was being dramatic.
Now he's barely speaking to me because apparently I made him feel like a terrible boyfriend.
I genuinely don't care about expensive gifts. I just wanted to feel important to him.
AITA for getting upset over this?
TL;DR: My boyfriend forgot my birthday but planned a surprise dinner for his female best friend. When I cried, he called me dramatic.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
u/Spectator7778 3m ago
NTA. Why are you ok with being forgotten. Be better to yourself hon. You deserve to be loved
1
1
u/IlonaDreamyFern 1h ago
Just to clarify, I've never had a problem with his female best friend. They've known each other for years, and I've always respected their friendship. What hurts isn't that he's celebrating her birthday. It's realizing he was capable of putting in that effort, just not for me. I feel ridiculous for crying over something like this, but it genuinely broke my heart.
1
u/NefariousnessIcy8877 7m ago
It should break your heart! It broke mine when my bf at the time left me alone and crying on my birthday but snuck off to Hawaii to be with his girl bestie for hers. You are not responsible for him feeling bad because HE HURT YOU. It's like saying "I hurt you?!? Here hold my feelings for me cuz I don't wanna feel bad or accept accountability". Also it's an absolute necessary comparison. Because wdym you forgot my birthday while you were too busy planning hers? Girly pop, my heart hurts so much for you, but there is so much better out there, even if that person is just you and your best friend. I found someone who literally wants to dance with me in the kitchen, packs my lunches for me, and buys books he thinks I'll like based on my interests. He's thoughtful and pays attention.
The heartbreak I experienced leaving my ex was awful...but it worth the peace of knowing that I'd never date someone who put so little consideration into loving me ever again.
1
u/Realistic_Pool_8087 1m ago
I’m sorry to be harsh, but you’re just the place holder girlfriend. He hopes she will “come around” and then he will shoot his shot… again. I’m sure he’s already tried before.
12
u/fay68 59m ago
NTA for getting upset, but...SERIOUSLY? If you DON'T have problems with their relationship, then you are not seeing that this man is garbage. He planned a whole party for her, but has been too stressed out to even remember your birthday??!!?? Girl, this is your wakeup call.
Edited to add he IS a bad boyfriend.