r/AITApod • u/Guilty_Plastic_726 • 9h ago
AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with my cousin after she said I didn't deserve it?
My grandmother left me a small amount of money in her will and I honestly wasnt expecting anything, so it meant a lot to me
My cousin was upset when she found out because she assumed everything would be split equally between the grandchildren. She got even angrier when I explained that Grandma had made her own decision
A few days later she called me and said I should give her half because she has more expenses than I do. I told her I wasnt going to do that, especially after the way she'd spoken to me
Now some relatives are saying I should share the money to keep the peace, while others think my cousin is being entitled
I loved my grandmother and this money feels personal to me, not just something to divide up
AITA for keeping the inheritance my grandmother chose to leave me?
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u/Regular_Look_1962 9h ago
Your grandmother left it to you because she wanted you to have that money, I suspect your cousin attitude may have something to do with why she wasn’t left anything. Use it for something for yourself, NTA
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u/Guilty_Plastic_726 9h ago
Honestly, I never thought of it that way but you're probably right
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u/whatthewhat3214 8h ago
How did your cousin even find out? The contents of a will are private, no one but you should know that you got anything and it shouldn't be discussed.
Either way, tell everyone (in a group text if you want) that you don't owe anyone a justification for keeping what your grandmother left you, that you're honoring her wishes and are not going to disrespect what she wanted bc your cousin is feeling greedy, entitled and demanding, and your grandmother's decision and what she left you is none of their business, including your cousin. Say that their butting in to your personal financial affairs and pressuring you to go against your grandmother's wishes for her small but meaningful gift to you is wildly inappropriate, and you won't listen to another word about it, since your cousin's sour grapes is not your responsibility.
Then block anyone who won't shut up about it.
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u/SonuvaGunderson 8h ago
This is not at all accurate.
Wills are public documents.
EDIT: After probate. Not while the testator is alive.
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u/Due_Cricket1885 9h ago
This stupid story needs to stop always the same shit
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u/wanderover88 9h ago
I swear, people must be getting paid to say, “keep the peace”! It’s in SO MANY freaking posts!!!
😵😵👿
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u/MarionberryOk2874 8h ago
Never in my life has anyone even suggested I should knowingly let someone take advantage of me just to ‘keep the peace’. 🙄
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u/First_Pay702 6h ago
My mom pulled this old chestnut out recently, except I didn’t need to post about it. I just walked her through the things she already knew regarding how the opposing parties in question had nuked the relationship from orbit and asked what peace there was to keep. She couldn’t say much to that but you could see the struggle with her Boomer upbringing. The act of peace keeping would have cost about 3 grand, I chose reality instead.
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u/Dimitar_Todarchev 7h ago
Keep the peace © 2025 u/Dimitar_Todarchev
I get a piece of keep the peace so to speak. 🤪
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u/MeatofKings 8h ago
Well, this type of stuff happens all the time. My grandma left each of her 15 grandchildren $1,000. I was the youngest, and she left me $2,000. My uncle, the executor, decided that wasn’t fair, so I got $1,000. My Mom said there was nothing we could do. I was a minor at the time, so I accepted it. I wish my Mom never told me in the first place.
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u/your-mom04605 5h ago
Always and this one is especially stupid:
“Grandma made her own decision”
It was claimed to be her will - who tf else would have made it??
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u/SadFlatworm1436 7h ago
There should be a fine for any post that says Keep the Peace 🤨
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u/Esau2020 7h ago
You should offer to pay the fine, in order to keep the peace. 😇
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u/Randomdays99 9h ago
Demanding relative wanting something they don't deserve
Others getting involved with the "keep the peace" line
Not believing it
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u/Guilty_Plastic_726 9h ago
Fair enough, I can see why it sounds familiar. I'll make the situation more specific next time
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u/TaxiLady69 8h ago
You'll make the situation more specific next time. So this is fake and you are full of crap. But your next creative writing exercise will be more specific? Okay.
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u/Vegetable-Cod-2340 9h ago
NTA
Your grandmother deliberately left you that money, not to share it with your cousin.
And let’s be honest op, if you gave her anything it wouldn’t be enough, she’d keep coming back til she gotten it all.
Also there is no such thing as ‘keeping the peace’, for that to happen to YOU have to give something that’s was meant for you to someone that doesn’t deserve just because they cried and whined, that won’t bring you peace only regret.
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u/Guilty_Plastic_726 9h ago
Honestly you make a good point. I dont want to give in just to keep everyone happy and then end up regretting it later
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u/SalisburyWitch 6h ago
Question: was your cousin mentioned at all in the will? If she already received anything, she might be trying to guilt you and others into getting everything. Tell her if grandma wanted her to have something, she would have left her the amount.
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u/Upset_Neighborhood57 9h ago
Suddenly every family in the whole world wanting to "keep the peace" lets try a new trend shall we?
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u/ddrk1962 8h ago
Again the same story, probably all AI generated.
Please stop, it is too sad to be funny anymore.
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u/DeliveryLongjumping5 1h ago
Absolutely NTA! Grandma knew she was a brat and very explicitly stated what she wanted you to have. You can share a fart with her as you walk by and that's it
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u/HauntingGur4402 9h ago
You owe her nothing… your grand mother left it to you. So to bad for the cousin
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u/Guilty_Plastic_726 9h ago
Exactly, Grandma made her choice and I want to respect that
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u/Imaginary_Love_2188 9h ago
Stay firm as your Grandma had her reasons to leave money to you and not her. You are honoring her wishes so refuse to discuss this inheritance with anyone who doesn’t respect your Grandma ‘s wishes !
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u/Icy-District-2136 8h ago
“Keep The Peace” oh that old chestnut! Just ignore them, it’s not any of their business and just boils down to jealousy and emotional blackmail. Sod them! Good luck to you and go and enjoy your inheritance!
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u/teresajs 6h ago
NTA
Honor Grandma's wishes. If other family members think your cousin is deserving, they are welcome to give your cousin their own money.
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u/Hot-Frosting7828 5h ago
NTA.
Your grandmother left YOU an inheritance for a reason. Your cousin is feeling jealous and that’s her business, that’s her own problem.
As for you, you do not owe a dime of your inheritance to anyone and you darn sure don’t owe any explanations.
Tell your cousin “no”, tell your family “no” and enjoy your inheritance.
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u/wigglepie 2h ago
NTA
Now some relatives are saying I should share the money to keep the peace
If cousin asks again, give them these relatives' contact info; sounds like they've volunteered to help finance cousin's debts.
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u/Iwonatoasteroven 1h ago
Im sorry for your loss but honor your Grandmother’s wishes. I suspect there’s a good reason she left you more. It was her money and her choice.
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u/ObligationNo2288 9h ago
NTA. Don’t listen to anyone telling you what you need to do. It isn’t their money. Not their business.
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u/flCheesehead1 8h ago
Your cousin is the AH. How about this, the relatives who want you to give away some of your Grandma's gift to an entitled little b***h can hold the title of Peacemaker and give her $$. You keep every dime. That's what Grandma's wanted. Sorry for your loss.
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u/BunnySlayer64 8h ago
NTA.
Once more, with feeling. "Keeping the Peace is just code for appeasing a bully." Repeat this to anyone who tries to convince you otherwise. Do not, for any reason, give in. Your grandmother obviously knew what she wanted done with her estate. Make sure everyone knows you will continue to honor her memory by honoring her last wishes.
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u/justhereforgossiping 7h ago
You better respect your grandmother's wishes. She made her decision and nobody has to second guess why. NTA and I'd cut contact with that cousin for good measure.
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u/ExampleSad1816 6h ago
Tell your family members “It’s easy to keep the peace, just don’t ask me to go against my grandmother’s wishes.”
Then ignore them.
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u/HelicopterMission728 6h ago
If you love your Grandma don't disrespect her will, she gave it to you specifically for a reason, and would've given some to your cousin if she had wanted to. NTA
Anyone with their keep the peace bullshit can band together and give her a donation out of their own pockets.
The audacity to message you asking for it saying you don't deserve it, I can promise you she wouldn't have given you a cent if she had the $.
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u/HelpfulAssumption277 6h ago
You don’t need to share anything because your cousin has more expenses. That’s not how inheritance works. Your grandmother already made her wishes known. Tell the flying monkeys to pound sand. NTA
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u/LivingtheDBdream 6h ago
Funny how the family is so willing to spend your inheritance.
Time to go NC with the cousin and LC with the rest
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u/AutoModerator 9h ago
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
My grandmother left me a small amount of money in her will and I honestly wasnt expecting anything, so it meant a lot to me
My cousin was upset when she found out because she assumed everything would be split equally between the grandchildren. She got even angrier when I explained that Grandma had made her own decision
A few days later she called me and said I should give her half because she has more expenses than I do. I told her I wasnt going to do that, especially after the way she'd spoken to me
Now some relatives are saying I should share the money to keep the peace, while others think my cousin is being entitled
I loved my grandmother and this money feels personal to me, not just something to divide up
AITA for keeping the inheritance my grandmother chose to leave me?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Dame_Niafer 9h ago
Feh. Other people are always so generous with one's own money. If they don't like what your cousin got, let them fundraise for her and donate from their own pockets.
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u/Junior-Ad-2072 9h ago
NTAH. Why is the solution to ''keep the peace'' you sharing the inheritance, and not your cousin shutting the hell up? Her expenses are none of your business, and your grandmother made her own decision.
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u/ConclusionUnusual320 9h ago
You know damm well that if she won the lottery she wouldn’t share with anyone!
Her having more expenses is nothing to do with you and doesn’t mean you have to share your money.
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u/1stjenniferlynn 9h ago
NTA. If the relatives thinks the cousin should have more money they can donate some of their own to them. 🫣
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u/Andravisia 9h ago
NTA. Any relatives telling you to share, thank them for offering their money to her. You'll let her know she can reach out to them for fre--
"what do you no? You made it sound so easy to give someone else's money away."
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u/PuppySnuggleTime 9h ago
NTA That money is personal. You obviously had a personal relationship with your grandmother that made her want to give you a personal gift. She did so. You don’t have to share it.
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u/Acrobatic_Season6838 9h ago
as a paralegal who specializes in estate administration and deals with this shit a lot, KEEP IT!!! i will actually be in a similar situation in the coming years. some of my cousins are going to be UNpleasantly surprised when my grandpa dies and they read his Will only to find out a few of them were excluded. there's 14 of us grandchildren, only 2 or 3 were cut out of the will. they have no idea😅 those are his wishes though and, while i have big love for those cousins, i'm staying out of that mess!
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u/NikWitchLEO 9h ago
NTA. This is actually getting ready to happen to me. I’m the favorite and none of the cousins are happy about it so I am getting the biggest share. Am I sharing extra shit with any of them fuck, no. Most wouldn’t ask but 2 or 3 are gonna try and raise hell. Would any of my other relatives like aunts and uncles expect me to as well? Hell no. They know I’m the favorite and they respect our elders wishes.
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u/Disastrous-Panda5530 9h ago
NTA. Nope don’t give her a penny and if she keeps bothering you then block her
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u/Glitterbomb4274 8h ago
NTA and just say to those that want you to split it, “ You may be ok with ignoring our grandmothers last wishes, but I’m not.”
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u/GimmeTheCoffeeeeeee 8h ago
NTA. You'd be disrespecting your grandma's wishes. She left YOU that money for a reason. She didn't leave others anything also for a reason.
The only way I'd change my mind is if the will was written while you were the only grandkid and she never updated it
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u/2-wheels 8h ago
Your grandmother made her decision and it should be honored.
It appears we can see why your cuz did not get more from grandmother, anyhow, it's been decided. Personally, I cannot imagine doing what your cousin is doing for a variety of reasons. The biggest reason is your cuz is asking you to ignore your grandmother's express instructions to the world. Grandma spoke; it's done.
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u/Icy-District-2136 8h ago
As the old saying goes “where there’s a will there’s always a greedy relative”!!
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u/loftychicago 8h ago
NTA. It feels personal because it is personal. Your grandmother left it to you. It is yours. You are honoring your grandma's wishes by keeping it.
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u/MarionberryPlus8474 8h ago
NTA. Stop talking to your cousin about it, and tell other family members to mind their own business. If they persist, let them know you'll be happy to tell your cousin they're giving her money to "keep the peace".
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u/Mysterious_Error9619 8h ago
Yes. Silence is the best approach in this case. Don’t respond to anyone. Don’t react to anyone. What you do with your money is your and only your decision.
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u/Huge-Tradition-7113 8h ago
It is your money your Grand Mother wants YOU to have and that's it! Keep it!
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u/warriorwoman534 8h ago
If Grandma wanted Cousin to have it, she'd have left it to her. Don't dishonor her final wishes, keep it for yourself. Say it just like that to any family members who disagree, and invite them to give money to Coz if they're so worried about her. NTA.
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u/Severe_Feedback_2590 8h ago
Cousin “you don’t deserve the money”.
OP “well, gma thought otherwise”.
NTA. Tell cousin to F off.
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u/Ponderum 8h ago
Your grandma told the family where she wanted the money to go, and now your portion is just that, YOURS. You can do what you like with it
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 8h ago
NTA. Your grandmother knew what she was doing. Keep the money and ignore your greedy cousin.
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u/Annual_Government_80 8h ago
Honor your grandmother’s choice. As for family members saying do it for the family, keep peace in the family, they’re usually the biggest AHS in the room.
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u/MoodVast9430 7h ago
If grandma wanted the cousin to have had the money, grandma would’ve given it to her. End of story.
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u/JoyReader0 7h ago
You do what your grandma wanted. Gimme Gertie was left out of the will for a reason.
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u/PreferenceOld6364 7h ago
NTA. If your grandma had wanted your cousin to have any money, she would have written it in her will. Fact of the matter is that she didn't, she left it to you. You are simply following what a legal document stated. Your cousin is owed nothing from you, especially after throwing her little tantrum. As for your other relatives putting their 2¢ in where it isn't wanted or needed, if they feel so strongly about it, then they can leave her money in their wills when they eventually pass, until then they can keep their comments to themselves.
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u/Vipr2269 7h ago
“ALL the gc” makes it sound like there’s more than 2 (you and your cousin), if so, were any of the other cousins/siblings left anything? Is she hounding any of them for a cut? Regardless, she’s not entitled to any of what was left for you, the hard truth is, if your grandma thought she deserved anything, she also would’ve included that in her will! Also, everyone telling you to keep the peace should go ahead and pool money to match what you got, otherwise, it’s not about fairness, but more about giving the bully what they want and make them shut up and stop the drama!!!!!
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u/u2125mike2124 7h ago
NTA
And anybody who thinks you should “share” can pony up the money for your entitled cousin.
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u/The19thHole7 6h ago
NTA - You didn't make the will, and giving them the money they feel entitled to would be against the wishes of the grandmother. If she had wanted them to have the money, she would have put it in the will...Their expenses are not your problem.
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u/Adventurous_Oil4513 6h ago
NTA. Grandma didn't give your cousin anything for a reason. Your selfish cousin is entitled.
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u/Aggravating_You2681 6h ago
Its your inheritance. You don't have to share it with anyone.
Would you cousin share with you🤔 ?
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u/antonis71 6h ago
Seems your grandmother KNEW why she left the money to you.... Tell your relative to gtfo...
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u/Vanthalia 6h ago
NTA. Absolutely hell no. Grandma made her decision and I’m betting there’s a reason she left cousin with nothing. Too bad, so sad.
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u/ConstantThis1588 6h ago
Your grandmother made decisions about how/who to distribute her estate to, and how much. It’s not for your cousin, or anyone to decide THEY get to override her final decisions.
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u/GardenHobbit 6h ago
And how would grandma feel about HER decisions regarding HER being ignored?
There’s a reason it was divided as it was. Your cousin needs to sit with that concept for a little bit. Don’t give her anything.
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u/Mammoth-Ad6145 6h ago
“Now some relatives are saying I should share the money to keep the peace, while others think my cousin is being entitled”
The most generic AI slop sentence ever 😂🤦♂️
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u/BodaciousVermin 5h ago
She should take it up with Grandma. You're NTA, and you've got expenses, too.
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u/No-Bobcat-6953 5h ago
No, cousin should quite bitching to keep the peace. She's the one making the problem, she's the one who can stop it.
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u/Helpful-Science-3937 5h ago
Honor your grandmother’s wishes and keep the money. If she wanted the cousin to have some, she would have arranged it that way.. NTA
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u/Interesting_Wing_461 5h ago
NTA, your grandmother knew exactly what she was doing. This was her last gift to you. Don’t let anyone take that away.
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u/Gullible_Expert_5677 5h ago
NTA - your grandmother gave it to you, not to your cousin, not to other family. Honor her wish and save/invest/spend it as you wish.
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 5h ago
Wait. What peace would that keep? Because if you give her half- you don’t have peace. Just a piece of what your grandma wanted to give you. Don’t do it
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u/oldleolady71 5h ago
Grandma knew what she was doing. She also knew how her money would be used best.
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u/BatDance3121 5h ago
Wait - your cousin received money, but now she wants HALF of yours??? If so, I'm laughing at her for being so greedy.
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u/MyLittlePiranha 5h ago
NTA. "Keeping the peace" is always bullshit. The only thing that matters here is your grandmother's intentions and wishes. Respect those and trek everyone to GTH.
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u/Witty_Candle_3448 5h ago
Take the money and put it into a high yield savings account so it can grow. Use the growth money but leave the larger part.
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u/PeterGriffen565 5h ago
Your grandmother decided who she wanted her money and property going to. It’s not up for debate after the fact. You don’t need to give what is now your money away to keep the peace. If the peace is worth keeping then your cousin can just STFU. Otherwise set your boundaries and go to war as necessary to defend them.
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u/Grimaldehyde 5h ago
Here we go…”some relatives are saying I should share the money to keep the peace…”. This isn’t real, guys.
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u/HappyCoolBeans 5h ago
Next time do not disclose your inheritance or if she asks then say it was a mistake and she got more and should split her inheritance with you.
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u/scarygirlieuk 4h ago
NTA. Grandma knew exactly what she was doing, your cousin can take a long walk on a short pier.
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u/Antique_Business2804 4h ago
Tell the relatives they can give her money if they feel she deserves it.
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u/Spookendocker1 3h ago
You are following your grandmother's wishes. She wanted you to have that money. Don't let others bully you or guilt you into trying to DISOBEY your grandmother's wishes.
"Look, cousin, I am following grandma's last wishes. She wanted me to have this inheritance. If she wanted you to have something, she would have put you in her Will. She did not do that. So I'm not going against grandma's wishes. This is not up for discussion. This is not a debate. This is what is. The decision has been made. Do not bother me again to go against grandma's wishes.
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u/Flat-Succotash5369 3h ago
“Keeping the peace” is always about rewarding the squeaky wheel so no, OP, you’re not even kind of an asshole. Not at all. NTA
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u/jennyandteddie 3h ago
Don't share anything.
My grandma gave me a box duct-taped up 10 years ago. She told me to hold it. I was the one who visited her the most. She used to cook me Sunday lunches for 20 years, just me and her. In her will, she left everything to her children and nothing for the grandchildren. After she passed away, I opened the box, and it contained $10K.
It was for me. I didn't tell anyone she gave me the box.
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u/DanaMarie75038 2h ago
NTA. Go NC with your selfish cousin. Your grandma knew who deserved the gift
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u/Least_Cry8973 2h ago
NTA. Your grandmother gave what she wanted to who she wanted . If she wanted to leave something for your cousin she would have!
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u/lumber_jacked 1h ago
Your cousins behavior and anticipation of inheritance is probably exactly why she didn’t get it, tbh.
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u/someladyincali 1h ago
NTA!! As a matter of fact, grandchildren are not entitled unless their parent has died. The fact that your grandma left something specifically for you means those are her wishes.
Sincerely,
a grandkid who got $0 from any of her deceased grandparents 😊
P.S. Your cousin can take a hike and ask her parent for half their share.
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u/ArtfulAlice 15m ago edited 11m ago
NTA but your cousin is the AH. Wills are person's last words to their loved ones. It was your grandmother's intention that you have this money from her. She wanted it to be a safety net or a buffer for your life. That money is for you and you need to honor your grandmother's intentions. If she'd wanted to give your cousin something, she would have made a bequest to her. It's not your job to make the rest of the family happy with how your grandmother chose to divide her estate.
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u/TheCatGardner53 2m ago
If your grandmother wanted to leave something for your cousin, she would have.
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u/kindofanasshole17 9h ago
NTA. Don't debate or argue about it. Just say no.