r/AITApod • u/Low_Rope6338 • 11h ago
AITA for making my husband replace 15 meals after he gave half my meal prep to his sister?
AITA for making my husband replace 15 meals after he gave half my meal prep to his sister?
Every month I spend a full Sunday doing meal prep for us. I plan out the recipes the week before and do one big grocery run on Saturday, usually about $190. Then Sunday morning to Sunday night I’m in the kitchen cooking and portioning everything into containers. 30 meals go into the chest freezer, all labeled, and that’s what we eat on weeknights for the month.
My husband’s sister had her baby a few weeks ago. She came over last Thursday with the baby so we could finally meet her. I was still at work when she got there.
When I got home my husband told me his sister looked really exhausted and he’d packed up a bunch of the meals from the freezer and sent her home with them so she wouldn’t have to worry about cooking for a while. I said that was really sweet and didn’t think anything of it.
Monday I went to grab dinner and half the freezer shelf was empty. I went through the labels and counted. He’d given her 15 of the 30.
I asked him why he didn’t check with me first. He said she needed them right then and we still had enough to get through 2 weeks. I told him that’s not really the point, I spent a full day making those and now I have to do the whole thing over again in the middle of the month which I have literally never had to do.
He offered to help me make more this weekend. He’s never made a single meal in 4 years. I’ve never once seen him use anything in the kitchen besides the coffee maker and the microwave.
I told him he’s replacing all 15 himself. I’ll buy the groceries and write out every recipe but he’s the one cooking them. He gave away an entire day of my work and he can find out what that actually takes.
His mom called me that night to say I’m being petty over some damn food. AITA?
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u/hunter_9995 11h ago
a grown man whos only used the microwave and the coffee maker in 4 years is about to learn real quick. NTA, hand him the recipes and walk out of the kitchen
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u/Responsible_Worry180 11h ago
a grown man still calling mommy to fight his battles
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u/AdvancedGuide8946 11h ago
i wouldn't be surprised if he asked his mom to do the cooking for him.
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold 10h ago
Oh dear Lord, that makes perfect sense — unfortunately.
Even my late husband — who did know how to do a little cooking, and who couldn't stand his mother — would've easily gotten overwhelmed by the complexity of 15 meals he had never cooked. And so I can totally imagine him calling his mom for help. She would've looooved the opportunity to rescue her poor baby from my evil edicts.
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u/Baby_Blue_Eyes_13 10h ago
This OP. You need to stand there, not helping, and watch him try to make these meals. Because you know they will be inedible. Make sure that he gets to eat what he made too.
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u/complexdevoid 9h ago
I would say she should not be there at all. Find somewhere outside to be for a few hours.
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u/Mundane_Literature_8 10h ago
This. Why is his mom involved at all?
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u/flower-purr 9h ago
Mommy should be worrying about feeding her freshly postpartum daughter, who seems exhausted. Not worry about a privileged manchild who seems to not have a care in the world or seem exhausted.
Seriously, though OP‘s husband doesn’t replace those meals by himself. OP should just worry about feeding herself and or her kids if they have any.
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u/herroyalsadness 10h ago
Because he’s a tiny little toddler than ran to mommy.
OP shouldn’t do the shopping or recipes for husband. If he doesn’t like it he can call mommy to complain, maybe even move back in with her.
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u/mYpEEpEEwOrks 9h ago
It's one thing for his mother to be his confidant, its a much different mess when said mother over steps bounds and inbetween the relationship.
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u/Alleandros 9h ago
Because he expected his mom to offer to cook those 15 meals so he wouldn't have to.
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u/Opposite_Gap1361 9h ago
I bet while he offered to do the work for his wife, he asked his mommy for help
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u/TheLightInChains 10h ago
Yeah, that'd be my response to his mom. "Are you proud to have raised a man who runs and hides behind his mummy the moment he's challenged? I'd be ashamed, personally "
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u/4kaiju 11h ago
🔝 This is a man baby that calls his mama and doesn’t do his share in the kitchen. Why are you putting up with this?
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u/Unfair_Feedback_2531 10h ago
Why isn’t mama helping her daughter? Daughter apparently chose to procreate with a man who also cannot cook.
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u/WorthPlayful2352 10h ago
Came here to say that, and now the sister must know because the mother will tell her and this will become a HUGE family issue.
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u/zedexcelle 10h ago
Make sure he labels them as his not yours in case his are subpar
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u/SeaworthinessDue8650 11h ago
Thar could backfire. She needs to supervise or they might not be edible.
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u/DifferentBumblebee34 11h ago
This is why the 15 meals he is going to make is what he will be eating for the month. He gets to learn that after he makes them. Whatever effort or lack of he puts into it, he will see how it results.
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u/zipper1919 11h ago
Half is still there. He can eat his 15 meals and she can eat her 15 thats still in the freezer.
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u/Small-Tax-2829 10h ago
Eh. I would just be eating out while watching him struggle. This wouldn't happen though. I married a person who knows how to cook. He's a fine dining chef.
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u/ilovescoutanddaisy 10h ago
or eat your 15 and let him fend for himself (which does not mean getting take out) for 15 days.
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u/SonofSonofSpock 10h ago
This might end up being a weaponized incompetence instance on his end, possibly unintentionally.
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u/warrior_3006 11h ago
NTA. hes real generous with stuff he didnt make lol. funny how easy it is to give away a day of work that wasnt his
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u/Illustrious-Onion329 11h ago
And ask his mom did she not teach him how not to give away another’s labor or did he just not learn that lesson?
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u/SantaFeRay 10h ago
Who complains to their mom about an argument with their wife?
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u/VegetableBusiness897 10h ago
A guy who has never cooked a meal in his life. A guy that doesn't tell his sister that he lazy baby daddy needs to step up
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u/AprilNichole209 10h ago
I came looking for this comment. Husband fucked up then went crying to his mommy to justify it. Gross
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u/AwarenessJumpy7395 8h ago
Yeah, I'm afraid I agree that this is made up. I'm starting to recognize the formula:
• OP sets up scenario,
• Someone- husband, friend, family- does something that they think is reasonable,
• OP doesn't like it and confronts them,
• "Everybody else" says OP is wrong and should suck it up,
• OP now wonders if they are the AH.
The fakeness or "karma farming" makes OP TAH for sure.
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u/Any-Atmosphere7698 10h ago
Babies, or someone who is trying to justify something… it’s his sister, and it’s so easy to give away something you didn’t have to work for! He needs to know what op goes through and should be in the kitchen with her every month cause he eats it too!
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u/dontspit_thedummy 10h ago
The AI always adds a family member that isn’t on OPs side, to drive engagement. Tucked in right at the end, usually
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u/ofBlufftonTown 8h ago
Now my phone is blowing up with all his family calling me, and all my family, and my friends, and my cousins’ in-laws, and people I met at a work conference, and a guy I bought the ticket from at the zoo four years ago, and they all say I’m wrong and my husband is an angel descended from heaven to bless the earth with his presence, even though he just beat the shit out of me, Reddit—am I the asshole?
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u/Motor-Illustrator226 7h ago
Don’t forget the neighbor’s dog, who also bit her in agreement with the husband.
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u/StGhoast 9h ago
Yes, one of the big 'tells' right there... The extra family member at the end of the story.
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u/Salt-Lavishness-7560 6h ago
The same person who was raised by that mom to be unable to cook a damn meal.
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u/videoslacker 7h ago
Also, why isn't MIL feeding her newly postpartum daughter if it's such a little thing. NTA
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u/Dame_Niafer 11h ago edited 9h ago
NTA, no way.
Why did he run whining to Mommy because mean old wifey wants him to replace what he gave away, including the time and work?
I think you have more problems with this guy than just him being way too generous with your time and effort.
My suggestion for a fallback. He buys 15 TV dinners and has to eat those while you eat what you made. If he likes that, he can keep doing it and your workload just dropped 50%.
Also, this is none of his Mommy's business and you may tell her I said so. Whiny baby boy.
Oh hey thanks for the award! 😁
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u/star_tyger 10h ago
I like this idea. My first thought reading this is while making him make the meals is justified, since he doesn't cook, its a recipe for disaster.
Make him responsible for his own meals for the month. Whatever that takes, other than destroying your kitchen trying to cook.
Another option is to make him your assistent for two or more monthly cooking marathons. Not just one becsuse he can't do half the work. But he can learn to chop vegetables and follow directions and experience the work you do, that he benefits from every month.
At least as long as he doesn't try to pull the malicious incompetence card. Then his meals are on him for the month. Oh, and he can only spend the cost of the food he gave away. Unless he spends his own money seperate from household money, or you're ok with donating the cost of the food for his sister, which you might be.
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u/Dame_Niafer 10h ago
Oh, she'll end up cooking them because of weaponized incompetence. Or he'll burn or otherwise ruin them, store them anyway, then eat hers, leaving her the bad ones.
Easy enough to foresee, should be avoided.
I like your solution to the budget issue, too.
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u/sanityjanity 9h ago
If it's meal prep, the meals might just be raw ingredients put in a casserole dish.
I'm going to hold on to a thin thread of hope that he will actually *try* to make amends, because he has "offered" to "help".
Honestly, this is the outcome of not making boys and teenage boys cook as they are growing up. As adults they cannot care for themselves, and they do not respect or understand the level of effort.
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u/kindofanasshole17 11h ago
NTA.
His mommy called you? Really? Because he cried that you're a big meanie? Holy pathetic.
Your husband made an adult decision to give away food that was prepped for your household meals. Now he can deal with the adult consequences of replacing those meals he gave away. If he doesn't want to do bulk advance prep, then I guess he can cook each meal the night of.
NTA
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u/Wendel7171 11h ago
While he had good intentions, was 2 weeks worth of meals appropriate? Maybe a week. He should help replace and help him understand how much work goes in to it. MIL could stay out of the way. She could have sent some meals to her daughter too.
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u/poliscidenier 10h ago
The MIL shouldn't even be aware of their private spat. I could never be married to a guy like that.
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u/Expert_Slip7543 10h ago
Maybe 2 or 3 meals, max
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u/herroyalsadness 10h ago
Or he could have gotten real crazy and said, hey OP can we work together on prepping a few meals for my sister?
He just assumed she’d take on all the labor to replace them, no thought of doing anything himself.
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u/Unfair_Feedback_2531 10h ago
He could have contacted his wife first. Sounds like new mom came to get food and run before the cook got home. I think it was pre-arranged. Otherwise she would have waited until OP got home to see baby.
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u/RescuerofdogsinMaine 11h ago
For me, the biggest issue is running to mommy to complain about you. A grown man who has never made a meal, complaining to his mom about you is not the thing. Eewww.
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u/BeneficialHandle1870 11h ago
if its just some food then his mom can come over and cook the 15 meals herself lol. NTA
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u/MKatieUltra 11h ago
That's probably what will happen, seeing as he complained to mommy about being called on his bs.
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u/Formal_Evidence_4094 10h ago
Yeah many people feel that , the husband probably hoped mommy will come help him make it , but then it back fired further when she took it up with the wife , now the man is in triple overtime dog house
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u/Psychological_Sky_12 11h ago
Sounds like he gave away his meals if he can’t cook he’s about to go hungry
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u/Ginger630 10h ago
Exactly! He gave away HIS meals. He can figure out what to eat until the OP meal preps again.
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u/Donna56136 10h ago
I read a version of this story last week. One week, it’s the hubby that does the meal prep and the wife gives the food away to one of her family members. Next week, it’s the scenario here. Then, of course, other family members get involved and tell OP that he/she is wrong. 🙄
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u/Humble_Interest_9048 10h ago
Yes, and no replies from OP, but account is a year old? Did you mark as spam?
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u/Anonymous30005000 5h ago
As someone else pointed out, his first thought was to steal your unpaid labor instead of telling her husband to cook for her??
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u/zipper1919 11h ago edited 9h ago
NTA PLEASE make sure you follow through and make him do EVERYTHING for those 15 meals.
It reminds me of the sil who dumped out an op's homemade ravioli and she made her husband remake them.
He didnt get it till he had to do it.
Good job op!
Edited to add the link
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u/Expert_Slip7543 10h ago
Agreed, except OP can have all 30 (15 days worth for 2) and generous husband can eat his own cooking/ takeout / Mom's cooking/ whatever all month.
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u/FarmerDave13 11h ago
Tell him he is on his own for dinner all month and use the 15 left to feed yourself twice from each one. NTA
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u/haveabunderfulday 11h ago
NTA- Make him prepare his own meals for a while since he thinks it's 'no big deal'.
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u/KiriYogi 11h ago
So he complained to his Mommy? Whew... He sucks for not asking and waiting for you to ask him to do it. He doesn't sound mature enough to be married.
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u/Entitledspider 11h ago
So she left with the meals before you got home to meet the new baby?
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u/NoLocksmith186 11h ago
Sis, make him eat the ones he makes, at least. The ones you made are YOURS lol
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u/crossingguardcrush 10h ago
Gently, ESH.
You're a little bit of TA for not wanting to help your sister in law. It's a crazy time after the birth of a child, and it's a time that family usually pitches in, in a substantial way. It doesn't sound like you guys are really there for her in any other way...that makes this a sweet gesture, but not an over the top one...
As for your husband, he should learn how to cook and how to deal with conflict like an adult, not run back to mommy.
And mommy is just straight up TA.
Edited to add a couple sentences bc at first I missed the part about mom.
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u/EvidenceTop2171 10h ago
Girl. There has to be more wrong with your relationship than this.
If my husband gave 15 meals to his sister because she seemed worn out due to having a newborn I'd be miffed that he didn't tell me that we needed to reprep some meals. But i would just tell him we need to make a grocery run and do a re prep. Even if money is tight I would not be this aggrieved.
And start asking him to help with some of the meal prep. Even if its just the simple stuff.
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u/Imnotawerewolf 4h ago
I think the issue is that there is no 'we' in the meal prep situation. 'we' don't need to reprep some meals, she does. 'we' don't need to go to the grocery store, she does.
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u/Anxious-Routine-5526 11h ago
NTA.
He should also be buying the groceries required to replace the meals he so generously gave away. He needs to understand the entirety of the work you put in.
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u/boredbytheabyss 10h ago
NTA but are you married to a grown man or a toddler, the fact you need to make meals for a full month because he can’t or won’t cook is just embarrassing doubly so for him toddling off to cry to mommy.
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u/Responsible_Worry180 11h ago
NTA, but I don't think he did it to be an asshole. If he had called would you have let him give his sister a few? It's time for him to learn how to cook
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u/Motor_Dark6406 10h ago
He made himself seem thoughtful, but what he did was give away his wife's time and effort while taking the credit.
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u/Responsible_Worry180 10h ago
absolutely agree! He should have discussed it with her before offering.
I guess I wasn't clear. I just meant I didn't think that he was trying to be hurtful. I think he genuinely has no clue how much work goes into those meals..and it is time that he learns!
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u/Bindy12345 11h ago
NTA. That was very disrespectful of him, and he obviously doesn’t understand what goes into making all that at once.
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u/Competitive_Prune108 11h ago
NTA. First, communication. He should have discussed it with you. Second, respect. He didn't value your time and work. Third, finances. This was a gift he had no right give. It's nice that he felt some compassion for his sister so it sounds like he acted impulsively and didn't think things through. Now he can fix it. Btw, where were her partner and the mom in making sure she had some help and support?
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u/doxydecahedron 11h ago
Why would his mom call you to say that?? So after he was rightfully asked to replace your hard work that he gave away without a second thought he called mommy to complain? you've gotta be kidding lol.
Obviously NTA but I was originally going to say I give your husband some grace as long as he does replace the meals because giving them to a freshly postpartum family member is a nice and understandable thing to do (although he 100% should have asked you before giving away so many). But calling his mom to complain about having to replace what he gave away is major major AH behavior. Ugh.
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u/FrizzWitch666 10h ago
You are in the right. He gave away your work, he can do the work to replace it. And if he wants to pull this crap again, same rule applies and sister needs to contribute to the grocery bill. He can stuff what his mother says too. You are not a food slave!
NTA
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u/Lexa19_HK 10h ago
NTA but you’re TA to yourself. He hasn’t cooked once in 4 years?!?! Why would you let him get away with that. He’s an adult he should be cooking at-least half as much (preferably equally) you are.
Write out the recipe but he needs to go do the grocery shopping and cook the food. He also needs to pay for it from his fun money. Why should you pay for his mistakes. If you do half the work he’s not going to actually understand what you go through.
Also from now on he needs to do half the cooking. Either he helps plan, shop & cook with you or he does it all himself mid month while you continue to do it start of the month. Doing 1/2 the portions will also cut down on how much you have to do at once.
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u/lejosdecasa 11h ago
I can't be the only person who's thought of The saga of ravioli ruining SIL: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w1tup4/the_saga_of_ravioli_ruining_sil/
Your whiny husband shouldn't be running to his mommy about a marital dispute.
Least of all when he blows two weeks of your food budget and a day of someone else's labor.
NTA
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u/maplesyrupblossom 10h ago
ESH I’m surprised that you didn’t offer to bring your PP sister in law a dang meal. Their mom also should be bringing food to her. Your husband felt bad for her and did something generous BUT shouldn’t have done it without asking you and shouldn’t have called his mom about it.
Edited to say: PP mom brought the baby to you guys to meet instead of y’all going to her?? Why isn’t anyone taking care of this new mom?
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u/WyldeFyre1980 10h ago
Where can you get a month/30 meals of groceries for $190 for two adults? This looks like an AI error to me.
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u/IgnatiusRileyFreeman 9h ago
Costco or asian grocery stores, buy your veggies in bulk cheaply, buy a single bulk meat purchase
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u/Wonderful_Bottle_852 9h ago
I buy a whole chicken and cook it. Then use my kitchen aid mixer to shred the meat. Gives us meat for tacos, salads, pasta, soup, lunch sandwiches, all week.
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u/JacedFaced 9h ago
Whole chickens have become so expensive, I buy the rotisseries and just pull the meat off myself, I buy 2 chickens and that's dinner for one night plus a whole week of lunches for me with the meat to make wraps and stuff
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u/EsotericQSHealth 9h ago
My roommate from a bunch of years ago did prep like this for less cost than this a month. I think she was living on $30/week for food or something. It's possible.
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u/bigbigpure1 7h ago
its not just possible, its easy if you have basic cooking skills
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u/anonstarcity 6h ago
Absolutely. And at 30 meals you’re getting decent prices cause you’re buying larger portions. I do all our meal prepping, and thankfully my wife and I aren’t picky so I shop the meat sales to just see what looks good and is priced down. I often get down to the $4-$5 per meal range, which would be $120-$150 for 30 meals.
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u/kimmytoday7894 1h ago
It was possible "a bunch of years ago" not when bread costs $10 a loaf
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u/catdogman5 9h ago
Don't doordash the ingredients and keep the recipe simple. With rice or noodles and a cheap protein, it seems practical to me.
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u/JacedFaced 9h ago
ground turkey is now cheaper than ground beef by a substantial margin (if I can catch it on sale sub $4 a pound so almost $2 a pound difference) and has basically forced me to start eating healthier because it's cheaper to get lean turkey than even fatty beef
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u/Hot-Union-2440 9h ago
I know right? Once you add up the red bull and door dash mcdonald's $190 doesn't go far. (/s of f-ing course)
Let's say 60 servings, so $3 a serving. A pound of pasta from walmart is $1.36, jar of spagetti sauce is $1.97. Add a lb of ground beef ($6), and maybe some fresh herbs to add flavor so that's $9 for 3000+ calories of food, so a solid 750+ calories a "serving". Plenty of other ways to put together decent meals without breaking the bank.
I am just too lazy to cook all that and never know what I want to eat. But my wife eats salmon like 3-4 times a week, $10 for a pound at Aldis, she adds basmati rice and usually peas and that's like $6 a serving.
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u/IndustrialSlicer 9h ago
it's over $6 per meal, maybe put down the gold flake shaker?
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u/luckylucylu 11h ago
NTA. It was great and generous to give his sister the meals. It is not fair that you are solely responsible for planning and prepping food every single month for the entirety of your relationship, which is a different issue.
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u/linusmundane 11h ago
Shit, 15 meals sounds like 15 days you get to eat and he can figure it out.
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u/KisaDreams 11h ago
Nta
He had his mommy call you. Tell his mom she can take responsibility and make the 15 missing meals or you can eat out those nights and let him fend for himself.
I'm guessing you don't have kids. Hopefully that's not in the future because the burden will be 100% on you.
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u/Independent-Mine-900 10h ago
Yeah I think you are a bit. The woman had a baby and I am sure could use them . Your husband was wrong for not asking but I think it was kind of him to do so. And he offered to help replace them. It feels good to help others out.
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u/Which-Appearance9857 10h ago
There is no better gift to a new mom than time or food. What he did for her was nice. Consider it a gift from your family to her.
What he did for you was not. He could have at least ask. To complain to his mom is such an ick. What is he, 5? And yes he should replace them himself. NTA.
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u/Brief-Assumption9068 10h ago
I mean he did offer to help you make replacements (he doesn’t cook according to you, this could be a teachable moment). I don’t think he did anything malicious. I do think you’re over reacting. It’s a one off and you’re the one coming across as a shrew.
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u/lunar_rio 10h ago
If I hear one more story ending in, "they say I'm being petty" I'm going to lose it!!!
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u/RhubarbDiva 10h ago
Do NOT buy the groceries.
Do NOT write out recipes.
He presumably knows where he can buy the ingredients for the meals he wants to make. If he doesn't know any recipes, them that's what google is for. As a last resort, he can get his mother to cook/help.
A large part of the effort of batch cooking is planning, shopping, finding the recipes.
The 15 meals he cooks can be his meals, unless he actually manages to make something decent.
He better be contributing a lot of other help in that home if he hasn't cooked in 4 years. I'm still shocked at reading about a grown man not cooking, giving away your work, and then crying to his mother.
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u/WitchTre 9h ago
You need to calm down, it maybe hard on you but she is doing more then you right now. Your husband's a gem for helping out his sister.
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u/CatherineTencza 9h ago
I can't believe that it isn't unanimous that YTA.
Would I find it daunting and exhausting that I lost a half day's work? Maybe.
But big picture here. Your sister (I know it's your SIL, but FAMILY) is going through a challenging time and giving her meals was absolutely the compassionate things to do.
He should have checked with you, but this doesn't mean you should punish him. Wouldn't you have given them to her as well?
Side note: We know nothing about the distribution of chores in this household, only that she is the cook.
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u/Much_Brilliant5718 9h ago
Just to commiserate, I had meal prepped and frozen a bunch of items for easy meals after I had a baby. Baby comes and my in-laws are there. I’m told MIL will cook dinner. Husband didn’t take her to the store, so she went through the freezer and started using what we had. (I was napping with the baby during all of this).
I was really upset because I’d put a lot of effort into making my life easier when no one was around, and it just been undone without anyone consulting me.
However, the look on my FIL’s face was pretty priceless when I told him he was eating my lactation cookies.
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u/Comfortable-Bug1737 7h ago
I see it as he gave his half away. He needs to sort himself out now. But running to mummy would seriously give me the ick
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u/Hungry-Delay9893 10h ago
The biggest red flag is that he ran to mommy. But, honestly, he was trying to be kind to his sister. I don’t fault him. I think you could forgive giving away the meals because it’s an extenuating circumstance and he seems willing to try and help fix the situation. But, running to mommy?!! Yeah, that’s the problem.
Mild ESH
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u/thedoctormarvel 10h ago
How is she the asshole? Her labor was stolen and all she did was ask for him to replace her meals. That’s extremely reasonable
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u/StrangeReindeer2470 7h ago
Heck, and she even said she'd get the groceries and supply the recipes. That's WAY more reasonable than I'd be in this situation.
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u/Acrobatic_Track9213 10h ago
She shouldn't be the Ah when she didn't do anything wrong her husband gave the food that she prepared to his sister without her knowing it was the meal prep that she did. He could have just bought food for his sister instead of using the meals that she made for them.
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u/Mother-Grab540 9h ago
The husband is the issue. He should have just bought a meal delivery subscription. He and his mom could have easily split.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 8h ago edited 8h ago
Exactly. He could have ordered pre-prepped meals for her from a meal service, but no. By handy coincidence, the freezer was full of prepared meals, so he grabbed those. He owes his wife 15 meals. If he doesn't want to cook them himself, he could order some.
And while we're at it, why not ask where is his own mother, the new grandma, in this picture? Why isn't there more family support for the new mom? Where is OP's brother-in-law, father of the new baby, in this picture? Can't he pay for a few meals, or ask his mother to help out? Why is the new mother stuck handling everything?
Is this the norm these days in America; abandoning women who just gave birth to fend for themselves, still expected to slave away in the kitchen for hubby and family? Really?? And why is that; because popping out a kid after 9 months' gestation is just what women do, easy-peasy? Cooking is second nature to women, they could do it in their sleep? There's an alarming level of cluelessness in this story.
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u/Mother-Grab540 8h ago
Yes the running to Mommy shit is spot on. I would really deep-dive and evaluate where you both are at in your relationship. He sounds like a pain in the ass who is still living in Mommy's pocket.
Basically it's like saying, hey I know you spent all this time prepping our meals, but F-you; I don't give a shit, and am making the command decision, without even asking you, to take your work and time and just piss on it. Oh, you say you are questioning me doing that? Well F-you, I am going to tell my Mommy, and Mommy can call you and make you feel really shitty.
I may be looking way too much into this, but he sounds like a real winner. The Mom does too. The real issue also is the OP is not considered to be part of the "pack herd"; she is an outsider, the husband and the mom have banded together and subliminally defined the OP as the asshole. The real assholes are them, they should have just banded together and got the new Mom a meal subscription for a few months.
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u/MerriweatherJones 10h ago
YTA. He was over generous to his sister (who BTW: is also your family too) because siblings look out for each other. This was a one off, and you should have him help you make the food because he should know how to cook, just as an adult life skill. Definitely let this go, and don’t be petty.
Do for family, because you might also need help someday
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u/QuickSloth4710 11h ago
NTA. Let his mommy that he whined to come help him prepare new meals. He should be the one to go grocery shopping, too. What a thoughtless jerk.
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u/BellaTrix4Change 11h ago
I'd only feed myself for those 15 days and let him understand the time, money AND effort it takes. Its always petty until people understand the gravity of the situation.
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u/Sea_Roof3637 11h ago
NTA.
I know the knee-jerk Reddit reaction is divorce but …
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u/nasturshum 11h ago
Yes do exactly this, give him the recipes and let him cook. Don't supervise him, just make sure you eat the existing 15 of the meal preps and he can eat his own cooking for 15 nights. If he messes up the recipes he can eat the spoils.
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u/Dachshundmom5 10h ago
This guy gave away your work as if it didn't Mayer and then told on you to his mommy because he will game to pretend to be an adult. Why are you married to a 6 yr old?
He doesn't care AKA weaponized incompetence https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/NsoxMseUn3
My partner doesn't help around the house https://zawn.substack.com/p/why-household-labor-inequity-is-abuse
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288
Tolerable levels of permanent unhappiness https://potentash.com/2023/08/17/tolerable-level-permanent-unhappiness-relationships/
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u/Ginger630 10h ago
NTA! If your husband wanted to help his sister, HE could have cooked something for her. He took 15 meals without asking?
It’s time for him to start helping you with meals. I’d tell him he actually has to learn and help, not just bitch. He has to go grocery shopping with you and help prep, cook, and clean. If he can’t do that, I’d stop cooking for him completely. He can go eat at his mommy’s house.
And I’d tell your MIL that she should have been a better mom and taught her son to cook.
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u/Motor_Dark6406 10h ago
NTA, Sounds like he gave away HIS meals. Eat what's left yourself and tell him to buy some peanut butter and jelly.
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u/sardineparfait 10h ago
NTA But your adult baby man gave away half your food and then ran to his mommy to complain? Poor baby has such a mean wife! The full body ick I just got....
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u/reddykeks 10h ago
YATA
You told him, you are fine with what he did, without asking how much food was given away. When you've seen the amount, you decided, that you were not willing to do that much work again just for your SIL. That sounds really petty, if you ask me. I know, my wife would have been fine with it, since we would have helped family in times of need. That really is a no brainer for us remembering how hard it was sometimes to do the normal duties, when our kids were that young.
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u/Which-Category5523 10h ago
I think it’s awesome he donated his meals to his sister. He can either cook his own replacement meals or head over to his moms every night for dinner.
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u/Gullible-Emotion3411 10h ago
I think you're being petty and kinda YTA. Your husband is being kind to his sister at a very vulnerable time in her life. She JUST had a baby and is exhausted. Your husband is willing to help you replace the meals. You've never seen him do anything in the kitchen and yet you expect him to recreate the meals by himself. Why not be a nice person and help your SIL out AND take the opportunity to teach your husband his way around the kitchen. If you do this right, you could work TOGETHER to do meal prepping from now on. You're not seeing the missed opportunity here. If you don't like the balance of who prepares food in your household, you should have addressed it long ago instead of getting pissy over it now.
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u/BratacJaglenac 10h ago
Why dont you just... Eat 15 of your meals and he can manage his own dinner like adult?