r/AITApod • u/Longjumping-Sir561 • 18h ago
AITA for refusing to lie to my friend's girlfriend about why I was at his house?
I’m a 29 year old man, and one of my closest friends recently moved into his own apartment after a breakup. A few weeks ago, he asked me to help him assemble some furniture. I went over after work, stayed for a couple of hours, and then went home. The next morning, his girlfriend called me and asked whether I had been at his apartment the night before. I said yes. She sounded surprised and asked what we had been doing. I told her exactly what happened: we were putting together furniture and watching a game afterward. Later that evening, my friend called me furious. Apparently, he had told his girlfriend that he spent the entire evening at his brother’s house because he didn't want her to know he had invited me over. He said I had made him look suspicious by telling her the truth and that I should have backed him up because we're friends. I told him I’m not going to lie for someone when their partner directly asks me a question. He said I should have just said I didn't remember or changed the subject instead of throwing him under the bus. Now he says I’m a terrible friend because I could have avoided the whole argument. I feel like his relationship problems aren't my responsibility, but I also understand why he thinks I should have had his back.
AITA?
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u/3rdDegeneration1 18h ago
Id be asking your friend why he had to lie about putting furniture together and watching football? Is he not allowed to put furniture together? And why didn't he give you warning that he told her that he was at his brothers?
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u/joeycraw5 18h ago
This makes zero sense. Your friend got mad becaue you told her the truth instead of his lie/cover story that you apparently weren't even aware of?
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u/Bawfur 18h ago
NTA. Yer pal's raging at the wrong person here. Ye went tae his hoose, built some furniture and watched a game. That's hardly a fucking crime scene. If he needs tae lie tae his girlfriend about spending time wi his own mate, then there's clearly something going on in that relationship that has fuck all tae dae wi you. And expecting ye tae lie, play dumb or pretend ye cannae remember a perfectly normal evening is taking the piss. Having somebody's back doesnae mean becoming their personal alibi. Ye didnae throw him under the bus, mate. He climbed under it himself when he decided tae lie in the first place.
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u/Beneficial-Union-726 18h ago
You told the truth. He lied. End of story. I am not anyone's cover. Your friend is an asshole player. That is too much drama. I would either walk away from that friendship, or give them time to think about their actions. I myself can be hard. I myself can be forgiving. Your not TA for helping your friend. You are definitely not TA for telling truth. How you move forward is your choice.
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u/AutoModerator 18h ago
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I’m a 29 year old man, and one of my closest friends recently moved into his own apartment after a breakup. A few weeks ago, he asked me to help him assemble some furniture. I went over after work, stayed for a couple of hours, and then went home. The next morning, his girlfriend called me and asked whether I had been at his apartment the night before. I said yes. She sounded surprised and asked what we had been doing. I told her exactly what happened: we were putting together furniture and watching a game afterward. Later that evening, my friend called me furious. Apparently, he had told his girlfriend that he spent the entire evening at his brother’s house because he didn't want her to know he had invited me over. He said I had made him look suspicious by telling her the truth and that I should have backed him up because we're friends. I told him I’m not going to lie for someone when their partner directly asks me a question. He said I should have just said I didn't remember or changed the subject instead of throwing him under the bus. Now he says I’m a terrible friend because I could have avoided the whole argument. I feel like his relationship problems aren't my responsibility, but I also understand why he thinks I should have had his back.
AITA?
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u/Mother-Grab540 10h ago
Both the friend and the girlfriend are having issues with themselves, and each other. She's wondering why you are over? For furniture? He wants you to cover? Either something much more in the mix between these two, or she's just paranoid.
I would distance myself from both of them.
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u/woodchuckachoo 18h ago
This is botshit crazy