Hey! So I kinda need some guidance.im like 3 yrs into my first adult job. Ik this is not like college (before anyone comments that).

Here's the dynamic: manager, then me (chemical engineer), software engineer, and 2 operators specializing in our special product. I also work on the special product. Manager is out and asked one of the operators to join a red zone meeting when i have good amount of knowledge on the special product. Idk im wondering if im just shit at my job. How do you guys know where you stand like good at job, mid at job, and shit at job? My manager is very critical of everything and everyone. Like dude straight up talked smack about another engineer in process control team in my 1v1, and I was uncomfortable because i dont like smack talking with a coworker.

Like another engineer yelled at me for asking a question (he's always rude to me), and manager called me stupid (in a professional way). Like how is it my fault that I got yelled at.

Last month my grandma died and I got a lot of messages from my manager about something. Then wanted sort of immediate response. I took bereavement btw. Other people in my team emailed even if it was urgent did not bother me.

I did start looking jobs. Applied to 2 jobs so far.

Any advice would be nice. This sub always gives me good pointers when im in trouble or deep into work drama

Hi! I am an RN and I currently work under a cardiologist. It has been the highlight of my career and I love the doctor I work with. I did not enjoy my career in bedside nursing after I was assaulted by a patient, but I do enjoy my outpatient nursing career. I have no interest in advanced nursing degrees (CRNP, CRNA, DNP). I do not hate nursing, but I feel like I settled a little bit. My main motivation for nursing was I wanted a 4 year degree with job security and flexibility for my husband and I starting a family. Nursing will definitely get you that! But one day my kids will be older and the doctor I work for will be retired.

My husband is a mechanical engineer, but he is so talented and bright I feel like he made engineering school look unrealistically easy. He loved talking to me about his classes and enjoyed school. It made me wonder if I would enjoy engineering or would ever pursue another career when my physician retires. I loved my organic chemistry, physics, and pre-calculus classes in college, but that is the highest maths and science that was really advised for nursing. I haven't made any decisions of course since it is mostly a day-dream.

Anyone here ever have a career change from nursing to engineering?

How is your career as a chemical engineer (or any engineering).

What would you not want others to romanticize about your career?

Thanks!

I'm definitely in a "my steak is too juicy" situation here.

I'm currently employed, and I have two other offers that came in very quickly after interviewing. I'm trying to make a decision. Comparisons below (anonymized #s).

Money

CurrentJob: Cash+Bonus+Retirement-Insurance = $200,000

SafeJob: Cash+Bonus+Retirement-Insurance = $220,000

MoneyJob: Cash+Bonus+Retirement-Insurance=$250,000 (everything is higher than SafeJob, not just a big bonus situation)

DreamJob: Offer TBD. I know they're making one but timing is maybe another week out, and I need to get back to the others.

I am really struggling with the decision. People are reaching out from the companies. The recruiters are pinging me. All jobs leverage my experience and skills more than my current job and offer development and growth opportunities. The PTO and benefits are close enough or offset in the right directions to not be material in this decision.

Other

CurrentJob: Financially and professionally, my current job makes the least sense, but it's very convenient. Retention effort level=1. Commute ranking=11. I described a recent major "reason to quit" given to me by them in another post but deleted to keep my identifying info minimized. They're great on paper, but seem to be hellbent on peeing in my Cheerios.

SafeJob: This is a company similar to mine, but a better culture fit. The job level is parallel, but more growth opportunity. I bring things they don't have, but they need. It would be exciting to help grow this market. Probably more uncertainty with the specific role than I'm portraying here, but they're diversified and my role could slide into supporting other markets. Their pursuit level=11. Commute ranking=3

MoneyJob: This is the wildcard. The company is smaller and more narrowly focused on the thing I do, so there is more risk/less diversification. There are also some financial incentives not included above that I would have no way to influence, but would be nearly life-changing, IF they happened. It's cash, not stock, and that doesn't happen many places in my industry. I know people on the inside and hear good things. I don't see a 3-year problem working there, but I really need a 10-year job and could see more certainty in that at the other places. (Yet, if financial incentives worked out, I wouldn't need a 10-year job. I could go take any job at a fraction of my salary. A person I talked to today also mentioned some more certainty based on work already in backlog that I hadn't known about.) The job is a parallel level to mine, but the hiring manager has mentioned some growth paths that would not be far off in the future. Generally, I don't think it would be as professionally challenging as the other two new options, but it could surprise me with future roles. Their pursuit level=11. Commute ranking=8

DreamJob: This is the one that really pulls together all my skills and would be the most exciting for the love of the job. It's the best parts of what I've done before on steroids, and it's a higher level than my current role. Their pursuit level also seems pretty strong. . .no offer yet, so it's a "9", but they also have a more complex package to put together. I would eventually relo with this one. This is also a more established business and so is the role, so I'd be plugging into an existing system rather than being part of early stages in a market like the other two. I do not expect they can meet the extra incentives of MoneyJob, but have no idea where they will land on the base comp other than at least above my existing pay. Commute ranking=0

I was leaning towards SafeJob this morning, but then I talked to someone at MoneyJob, started to get more comfortable, and when I'm not factoring in risk, the money makes it a lot more attractive than the other one. Then I found out DreamJob was still in the mix. It's like the playoffs, and a dark horse could still take this thing.

I mean, I go to work for the money and wouldn't take a $50k pay cut because I loved a job, but I'm struggling with the reverse logic to not chase a $50k pay increase. I definitely don't think money is everything, but we're not talking about taking a job that rates a "0" for $50k+ more and pass up the "9" for $20k more. It's more like a 6 and 8 situation.

I had a great initial screening call for a civil engineering/construction management internship with a project engineering company. The recruiter seemed super nice, we vibed, and at the end of the call, she told me she was meeting with project managers on Thursday and would get back to me by Friday. She literally told me, If I don't get back to you by Friday, don't be afraid to email me no later than Monday.

Friday came and went with zero word.
Monday comes, I send a polite follow-up email right on schedule. Nothing. Tuesday comes, still dead silence. So today, I decide to call her direct number to check in.

It rings and tells me the line is disconnected.
I also tried calling their main corporate office. Total radio silence, nobody picks up. Second time I call the person at the front desk says she’s out of office right now and that she can’t contact her.

Am I just being impatient or should I just give up on this company?

Hello,

So I initially posted something similar in the ChemE forum but some people (assuming men) were kinda mean about it so here it is.
I’m a recent BEng grad and didn’t do that well at uni but it wasn’t too bad. Unexpectedly I graduated earlier than expected so I’m on a gap year, would really appreciate some help on how to improve e.g. any linkedln courses or anything else you do in your free time to sharpen your brain and gain skills.
Like any projects and stuff?
Thank you in advance

Bit of a general question, but I was wondering if anyone else feels the same as I do.

Background I have been working in manufacturing for 7 years now, which we all know is a male dominated field. I have found myself dressing more "masculine" and in baggier clothes to hide my femininity. I struggled early on with comments from male operators about my body, and the solution I found was to dress different. Keep my hair pulled back more, wearing sports bras and even compression tops to keep my chest flatter (I have very large breast size). All of which I know is not ideal, but unfortunately it is the world we live in and I found it easier this way from a daily interaction standpoint.

But, today I realized this type of style and how I am dressing has seeped into everyday life. I feel as if I have lost some sense of my femininity because I have been masking it daily at work for years. Like it is something I should be shameful of, which I know isn't the case !

Just wondering if this is something others struggle with, or if it is just me!

Hi everyone I’m currently an undergrad about to wrap up my degree in a non-stem major. I majored in a humanities degree but being near the finish line I realized that what I intended on pursuing is now something I do not want to pursue and if I could I would go back in time and major in mathematics or engineering. So I’m asking if anyone has ever worked on getting a stem degree while working full time because I am interested in seeing if it is possible because I think that is something I want to do, so I could pivot into the engineering industry. I know that if I do go back to school and work at the same time it will be insanely challenging but I want to know if somebody can tell me about their experience if they ever went through this situation or any tips/advice. Thank you! :)

I work in an open concept layout with all men. Probably 10 men on all sides of me sitting within smelling distance and someone keeps ripping ass at work and it makes me want to scream.

What do I do? I don’t know who is farting I don’t know who.

Update: Thank you everyone for your comments and sharing your perspective. I truly appreciate it. And I totally understand the frustrations; I have been frustrated myself on so many levels. I 100% agree that men need more training and this should not be solely put on women's shoulder- and that is the goal. I applaud women who are standing up, speaking up, and voicing their concerns. I do agree that the system forced many of us to deal with this on our own. I have been with many companies and very few had required sexual harassment trainings available and sadly, many men do not believe that this is even happening. I once went to the owner and CEO's office, it was a small company, to complain about sexual harassment and his answer was "oh, he's an adult, he knows what he's not supposed to be doing". The owner not only did not believe my claim but also defended the offender. Needless to say, I resigned right away. The goal of the lunch and learn/workshop was to equip those who need the skills to deal with this. I was put in a situation many times where I didn't know what exactly to say in the moment. Some companies champion these initiatives, and some men are champions of women, but sadly many are not. Even with trainings, some men will behave the way they should not because many believe they are not the problem. The goal is how to give women the tools on how to handle the situation without losing yourself or giving up the career you built with blood, sweat, and $$$$ when the system fails, because in my experience, they often do.

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Admin, please let me know if this is not allowed. I can take this down if needed. Thank you.

I’m a former engineer with 16+ years of experience, and I recently started an executive and transition coaching and consulting practice.

Throughout my career, I’ve experienced being passed over for promotions, being yelled at in meetings, being disrespected by direct reports, discovering I was paid less than a male counterpart, struggling to balance motherhood with demanding workloads, and experiencing burnout from long work hours.

I have my own experiences and personal data, but I’d like to understand the broader challenges women in STEM face. I’m now developing lunch-and-learn workshops for companies and want to focus on issues that would genuinely help women in STEM.

If your employer offered training specifically to support women, what are the top three topics you’d want them to address?

For example, speaking up and advocating for yourself, navigating difficult conversations or managing workplace stress.

Thank you very much for your input, I appreciate it!

New mom engineer here, and I returned to work about a month ago. The daycare transition has been… meh. She’s doing very well overall, but it’s been harder on me than I expected. As expected, she’s also getting sick a lot, which has been its own adjustment.

Today she wasn’t actually sick, but she had a well check and shots. Daycare called afterward because she wasn’t acting like herself, couldn’t settle down, and was crying inconsolably. I’m glad they called. I never want her to be uncomfortable and needing mommy cuddles when I could be there.

The second I got that message, I went into immediate panic/drop-everything mode. I spent my 30-minute commute home imagining her crying the whole time. Just straight-up fight or flight.

I’m incredibly grateful to have a job with flexibility and a team (my leader, peers, and direct reports) who genuinely respects me. I was able to drop everything, get her, and work the rest of the day from home with her sleeping on my lap. I even managed to get through my afternoon meetings and run them like a champ, thankfully while she slept.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if she woke up and was still inconsolable while I was trying to work or lead a meeting. Even with all the flexibility in the world, I can’t exactly plan around a baby who might need me every second.

My husband also has a lot of flexibility since he owns his own business and makes his own schedule, although he can’t easily drop an entire day. Honestly, I didn’t even want to ask him to handle it today. I knew I would be better at calming her down, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on work anyway if I was sitting there wondering whether she was still crying. So I would have ended up going home regardless.

And that’s the part I’m struggling with. I’m the default parent, and even when I have a supportive partner and an incredibly supportive workplace, I’m still the one whose brain immediately goes into I have to get to my baby right now. She can have two loving, capable parents, but when she is scared, uncomfortable, or inconsolable, she chooses me. That fact is beautiful, but it also means I can’t fully hand off the responsibility when she needs me most. The decision is already made before anyone asks: I’m going.

Add pumping at work (everyone is respectful and trusts me to manage my schedule, but actually finding the time is still rough) and the general imposter syndrome of trying to be a good mom and a good engineer, and it’s just a lot.

The work-side imposter syndrome is especially loud. I’m not just wondering whether I’m doing enough as a mother; I’m constantly questioning whether everyone thinks I’m still showing up as the engineer, leader, and teammate I was before having a baby. I can be prepared, productive, and objectively doing my job extremely well, and still feel like I’m one interruption away from being exposed as less committed than everyone else. Every pumping break, daycare call, appointment, or moment when my attention is split can feel like evidence that I’m falling behind, even when my actual performance says otherwise. I’m carrying the invisible fear that people will think I have less uninterrupted time and quietly decide I’m less reliable, less ambitious, or no longer ready for the same opportunities.

Especially when I’m surrounded by men who have stay-at-home wives. I don’t think they necessarily understand how much of my brain is occupied by all of this, even when I’m technically doing my job just fine. They get to be evaluated primarily on the work in front of them; I’m often trying to do the same work while also mentally tracking the person who might need me at any moment. That difference is hard to explain when the deliverables still get done.

I know today was a relatively minor thing in the grand scheme of parenting, and I’m so thankful I could be there for her. But it really hit me how much of the mental load of being the primary parent follows you into work, even when you have every possible advantage.

And honestly, I have so much respect for single parents who have to navigate all of this without a partner to share the load. I have a supportive husband, a flexible job, and a team that has my back, and I still feel like I’m constantly trying to prove that I can be fully present in two places at once. I don’t know how you do it.

I got promoted from software engineer to manager about a year ago, which I was pretty excited about and felt very seen and supported by my boss at the time. A couple months later that boss was shown the door, we hired a VP, and he has been the complete opposite, more about power than leadership. I don’t feel supported or like I’m being given the skills to grow, he says that “we” (himself and the two managers) run engineering, but then goes around us and micromanages constantly. Most recently, he gave me feedback that I actually didn’t mind getting because it was true, but I got the sense that he had been stewing on it for a while and probably wouldn’t have said anything until review time, had I not mentioned that I didn’t understand what was expected of me in my role or whether or not I was excelling (we still don’t have a career ladder than our engineering manager positions fit into). This most recent 1:1 felt like a last straw as far as how uncomfortable and unsupported I feel in my role. My question: is there anywhere for an engineering manager to transition to career wise that isn’t in SWE? I realize technical
Project management is an option, although I’m not sure if AI has swallowed that role. Does the skillset of an engineering manager transfer anywhere else? Or am I now doomed to be stuck here, or start completely over? I feel strong in my people and process management, not as strong in my system design skills.

TLDR: I’m at such a toxic job right now and I want to leave it, but I don’t even consistently have the energy to eat dinner let alone update my resume and submit job applications. I don’t have PTO to spare and I live alone so I cannot just quit or offload any chores. Do you have ANYTHING that worked for you to alleviate burnout without taking time off? Even temporarily so I can kick out applications?

Whinier version: Manufacturing engineer for 3.5 years. It’s been getting worse and worse on this team but lately a combination of power tripping management, OH reduction, financial troubles, and new regulatory requirements has been making it infinitely worse. Everyone has more work to do and more paperwork associated with that work, and we’re doing multiple people’s jobs since they aren’t being backfilled and we’re supposed to get it done faster than we did before. Boundaries are ignored, asking to get things removed off my plate has either resulted in my redoing the work after it was done wrong or being criticized in my reviews from management for “needing help with everything”. I’ve been criticized in writing for not getting work done on time, I’ve been called out for “only” working 40h (they said “40h is the bare minimum and you shouldn’t be leaving if the work isn’t done). You look at a process like wrong and it just crumbles.

I want to leave. I am so burned out. I come home and get out of my car and my head feels foggy and my legs feel like jelly so I just lay down, next thing I know it’s 9pm and I’m starving and I need to go to bed so I can wake up at 6. I don’t workout anymore and rarely do my chores and I keep canceling activities bc I can’t find the energy to make facial expressions and be social. I want to game and then I can’t even touch my controller. I want to read and I end up zoning out at the sky. I get a pit in my stomach every time I check on my lines at work and every single problem feels like Mt. Everest. I don’t have any more PTO (and my trips were all international so i did not recover from burnout at all). I can’t quit without something lined up. I can’t work remotely.

How have you guys addressed burnout without taking time off? I need to get myself pulled together enough to apply elsewhere, and then I will need to figure out how to recover from this before it affects whatever new job I eventually land. And I need to somehow get my shit together enough to work so I can try to avoid getting caught up in upcoming layoffs.

Hi everyone,

I'm a 27yo Mechatronics Engineer (MBD, embedded control, IoT). I stopped working in 2025, moved to the US, and had a baby.

Right now, the brain fog and decision fatigue are overwhelming. I want to prep for IELTS, keep my technical skills alive, maybe teach local STEM, or find remote work... but I get paralyzed, I’ve lost interest in everything, and I end up doing nothing. Then I panic that I’ll never get my career back.

I have a few hours a day during nap times

For any fellow engineers who took a break after a baby or a move:

1. How did you clear the fog and regain interest/motivation?
2. How did you restart technical practice in tiny steps without burnout?
3. How did you transition back into work or local STEM roles after a gap?

Thanks!

Im a sophomore in college pursuing engineering. I dont really have a passion for anything, I just want to live in a big city like NYC, Boston, ect. Im a city girl at heart!

I keep hearing that its very difficult to find engineering jobs in the city, and the only way is to do CS/tech.

Since my main goal is NYC/chicago/boston, should I just do CS even though the market isn’t great?

Just uploaded my resume to the SWE portal, feeling a little behind lol

If anyone got interviews scheduled at the conference already, any tips? I am a 3rd year Mech E with one prior internship, looking for 27’ summer internships:)

Hi everyone, I feel like I’m losing my mind a little bit honestly. I’m 24 years old and my undergrad degree is in Business of Fashion, with a masters in AI from the UK. I basically decided to go back to school and get my masters in EE here in America. I’m trying to build a startup in wearable tech, as I did some research in the UK in textile wearables but ended up cutting that short so I don’t really have formal research or training in an engineering environment. The EE masters program in America is so much more intensive (so many quizzes every week that I’m not even doing well in because I have no foundation and my profs assume that everyone knows everything when the new grads who just finished their undergrad are also just as lost as I am) and math heavy (which I knew, but once I was accepted I tried to study up on the background as much as possible). I’m on a scholarship right now and I think I’m getting in over my head. I feel like I can’t understand any of my homework, I’m spending more time on the foundational material and textbooks just to try to understand the smallest concepts and it’s driving me insane. I sometimes feel like I don’t even deserve to be in this because as much as I’m trying it’s just so much to catch up on and it’s incredibly frustrating because I feel like I’m not learning anything because I can’t understand what’s going on. I’ve considered a tutor but who’s going to teach me basically 4 years of undergrad and math like what?? I’m getting really discouraged and I was so excited to learn but I feel like I was thrown into the deepest end possible and I’m flailing to stay afloat.

I guess I’m just wondering if this is imposter syndrome because I really love working on my startup and learning but I’m wondering if it’s burnout because of how frustrated I feel with the homework workload and generally being back in an extremely intensive program at a prestigious school.

I don’t even know what advice I need but I guess just wanted to rant about this and wondering how I should look at life right now?

Hii! So, there's WiTT program that's being organised exclusively for women in tech, engineering (29 graduating)-

What all can i expect in their first online assessment?

Like ik they have had mentioned their oa being coding and quant/trading related but more of specific;

Please lemme know, tysm :)

Basically what the title says, I have worked in manufacturing for 5 years then switched to a well known corporate company within their tech program. I loved manufacturing but the leadership was stuck in the 70s. Loved my corporate bubble until I accidentally became important. As I get further into my career, the less I actually have a meaningful impact? Don’t even get me started with AI…. I no longer feel unique in my roles that would protect me from layoffs.

I’m tired of the red tape that comes with corporate, yet I do enjoy the perks that come with it like flexibility and obvi the pay… even if it doesn’t go too far in this economy. I have to make enough to support my family, but wow I actually really hate what I do and I’m afraid to wake up one day totally regretting my 30s :’)

I’ve already spent a good chunk of money on my conference ticket, and I’m having a hard time covering the cost of the flight. Are there any grants, travel scholarships, or other funding opportunities I could apply for? I’d also appreciate any tips for finding cheaper flights or reducing travel costs.

Women engineers should be paid more than their male engineer counterparts because of the environment. I am in oil and gas and when I go out into the field, it’s ALL men.

To make up for this, we should be paid a gender hardship stipend for this inherent marginalization. Just like the army has hazardous pay.

There’s nobody to talk to casually and for me, everyone’s way older than I am, on top of being male. Womens’ work is harder because we are also the target of misogynistic jokes. Thus, making a bit more money than men would make me feel better about the workplace environment.

Extremely hot take but I think it’s valid.

Thoughts?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 21F third-year mechanical engineering student from Canada, and I realized I don’t really have any girl engineering friends. I’d love to make some, so if anyone’s interested in being friends or starting a group chat (or if there is one I can join), that'd be awesome.

A bit about me: I like to play video games when I have the free time (Minecraft, Fortnite, Roblox, Phasmophobia, and many more), so I’m always happy to have people to play with. I also love baking and cooking, art, photography, and playing guitar. Right now my dream is to work in the space industry, though I’m dealing with some major burnout these days.

If anyone is interested in being friends feel free to dm or reply! :)