r/short • u/TheVeganGod • Apr 17 '26
So this subreddit keeps appearing on my feed, probably because I’m a short man at 166 cm who follows men’s fashion pages and similar content.
Honestly, if I had found this side of the internet before I started dating in the real world, I probably would have stayed a virgin. According to some of the people here, I should be completely doomed anyway. I’m short, bald, and I have crooked teeth.
And yet I have dated women of different heights, including women taller than me.
I’m also a university lecturer, and I read a lot of research on dating, mate preferences, and social status. So here is the scientific version, not the black pill fantasy version.
Yes, height matters. Preferences are real. Women, like men, can have physical preferences, and pretending otherwise is stupid. But research does not support the idea that one trait like height determines your entire dating future. Actual partner choice is shaped by multiple factors at once, including kindness, intelligence, emotional stability, dependability, confidence, physical attraction, and social or economic stability (Buss & Schmitt, 2019; Thomas et al., 2020).
Research also shows that what people say they want does not perfectly predict who they actually choose when interacting in real life. In speed dating studies, stated preferences often did not line up neatly with actual attraction once people met face to face (Eastwick & Finkel, 2008). In other words, attraction in the real world is messier and more human than internet forums want to admit.
Online spaces and dating apps also distort reality. They push people to judge each other quickly and superficially, which exaggerates traits like height. That does not mean the entire dating market works that way offline (Finkel et al., 2012).
To quote my therapist, life is basically a big Souls game and height is just a debuff. Yes, it can make things harder. Yes, you will probably get your ass kicked a few more times than someone playing on easier settings. But that does not mean the game is unwinnable. It just means you may need more patience, more resilience, and a better strategy. And honestly, where is the fun in beating the game with no debuffs?
I have been rejected plenty of times, and height probably played a role in some of those rejections. I say probably because I do not interrogate rejection or obsess over the reason. I am not going to ask someone to explain why they did not want me. That is their choice. Other people are allowed to have preferences, and I do not need to internalise every rejection as a verdict on my worth. At the end of the day, only you get to decide your value in this world.
I have also been through a period of height insecurity myself. After a recent rejection, I went down the rabbit hole of self loathing, so I do understand how dark that headspace can get. But how we feel is not always a perfect reflection of reality. Feelings, emotions, and thought patterns can spiral, and they can also be challenged and changed. Therapy helped me see that. With the right support, self awareness, and work, the way you think about yourself can improve.
What these spaces often ignore is how much insecurity changes the way a person comes across. Neediness, resentment, bitterness, and defeatism are not attractive qualities, and they can do more damage than being a few inches below average.
That is why the advice to men should not be “give up.” It should be “build a life that makes you attractive in a broader sense.” Work on your confidence. Go to therapy if you need it. Practice mindfulness. Focus on your career, not because women are gold diggers, but because ambition, competence, and financial stability signal drive and maturity. Take care of your physical health. Read more. Volunteer. Join communities. Get involved in causes you genuinely care about. Expand your social circles and meet women in real spaces, not just through algorithms and rage bait.
And if you are constantly hitting a wall, take a break from dating for a bit. Reset. Rebuild your confidence. Get your head straight. Stop treating every bad experience like proof that the whole world works one way.
Most importantly, women are not a hive mind. One woman rejecting you does not mean all women think the same. A subreddit full of bitter men is not an accurate sample of reality. People have different preferences, different priorities, and different reasons for being attracted to someone.
Also, be careful with research in general. Research can help us identify trends, but human beings are more complex than a dataset or a single paper. Averages are not destiny, context matters, and how old the research is matters too. Social norms, dating culture, and the way people meet have changed a lot over time, especially with apps and social media. So use research to inform your thinking, not to reduce yourself or other people to a rigid formula.
The point is simple. Height can be a disadvantage. It is not a death sentence. A lot of men are not being ruined by height alone. They are being ruined by an identity built around insecurity, hopelessness, and too much time spent listening to other defeated men online.
References
Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (2019). Mate preferences and their behavioral manifestations. Annual Review of Psychology, 70, 77 to 110. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-103408
Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic partner? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(2), 245 to 264.
Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3 to 66. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100612436522
Thomas, A. G., Jonason, P. K., Blackburn, J. D., Kennair, L. E. O., Lowe, R., Malouff, J., Stewart-Williams, S., Sulikowski, D., & Li, N. P. (2020). Mate preference priorities in the East and West: A cross-cultural test of the mate preference priority model. Journal of Personality, 88(3), 606 to 620.
r/short • u/Bikerbats • Mar 15 '26
Ok, I'm stuck at my desk with a bum foot that's been plaguing me for weeks now, so I might as well try to make this time at least a bit productive.
So since I ain't going anywhere, let's have a meta discussion about the sub, and I'll take this opportunity to solicit suggestions.
r/short • u/Throwaway21412412 • 12h ago
She was my first Kiss my first girlfriend & even the first girl I held hands with.
When I was in Highschool I thought it was over but now I am so happy with my life!
r/short • u/Business-Secret-409 • 15h ago
I've finally accepted my height, and now I'm focusing on my mental health.
For the longest time, I've been insecure about my height. I used to overthink it, compare myself to others, and wonder how different my life would be if I were taller.
But I think I've finally reached a point where I'm ready to let go of that obsession. I can't change my height, and I don't want to spend my life being miserable over something I have little to no control over.
Now, my focus has shifted toward something much more important: my mental well-being.
I'm bipolar, and honestly, managing my mental health is a much bigger priority for me than worrying about a few inches of height. I want to build a stable, peaceful life, understand myself better, develop discipline, and become someone I'm genuinely proud of.
I'm not saying I've suddenly become completely confident or that I'll never feel insecure again. I'm sure those thoughts will come back sometimes. But I don't want them to control my life anymore.
I'd rather invest my energy in my mental health, education, fitness, relationships, and future than keep obsessing over something I cannot change.
I can't control everything about myself, but I can work toward taking better care of myself.
Maybe this is what self-acceptance actually looks like—not loving every single thing about yourself, but deciding that you deserve a good life regardless.
One step at a time. ❤️
r/short • u/gamecom17 • 1d ago
Not every race can be a PR. I went up to this race under-trained to do the 45 miles I was hoping to do. I did a 15 mile lap and called it a day. So happy to spend some time running in the woods with my friends.
r/short • u/Kingsalmon64 • 21h ago
I'm 19 have just started attending college this year. I basically had no friends in high school. I went to an all boys high school for most of high school then changing schools junior year. People don't even dislike me its just no one wants to hang out with me. I've never even gotten close to being in a relationship with a woman. I just cant see it happening. I can't even stand to talk to girls i basically avoided them all of high school. A relationship probably isn't even worth it i would just ruin it eventually I just hate the longing I hate it it is physically uncomftarble.
r/short • u/Dull-District2544 • 10h ago
Have you guys seen any player/play boy kind of guy who are 5,2 to 5,3 are you a player or have you seen guys like that if then share the experience and tips
r/short • u/TheWoIfMeister • 21h ago
I'm 5'7 barefoot, from regional Australia and the average height is not the 5'9 despite what Wikipedia says it is, its probably around 6ft as its majority white/european decent corn fed big boys where im from haha. I hardly ever meet anyone im taller than to put in perspective and im the shortest on my footy/rugby team.
Despite that though, I've never actually felt "small" im 86kg and have been up to 92kg without really being "fat" maybe a bit chonk at that weight but not obese by any means (despite what BMI says)
Ive always been naturally athletic and strong af. I can bench 130kg (287lb) and my deadlift and squat are simiarly strong and I can still run 10km in sub 1hour
I guess my gripe is with being 5'7 is people view me as short but im still stronger, bigger and fitter than most of the dudes around me.
I guess as well, I find it hard to identify with being short because im not small, I still command respect in rooms, hold myself tall, nobody ever fucks with me and other dudes regularly tell me I look solid af and I've never particularly struggled with women....sure I've been rejected before for being too short, ive even had a chick literally say it lol..but ive still slept with plenty of women.
But yet, something lingers about it that bothers me...I still always wish I was a bit taller even if my frame is still big despite my height...idk what I'm trying to get at...but are there any fellow short dudes that feel sort of the same? Its like...I know im short but my heart feels 6'2 lol....its like I'm a big boy because I've a big frame (wide shoulders, big legs etc) but im still comparatively short and it pisses me off.
r/short • u/Cakegames999 • 1d ago
I saw some post of a 5'7 guy getting bullied for their height while I see shorter guys that get barely or never bullied like me
r/short • u/mint_choco_espresso • 1d ago
I hate this phrase so much. After being constantly ridiculed and given the message that we are completely undesirable because of an immutable feature that we would change if there was a reasonable way to, being jaded gets you labeled “Napoleon complex” or “little man syndrome”.
Twice in the past 3 days I had friends make anti-short comments and gush over tall men simply for being tall. One even sort of realized that her comment would be a bit hurtful for me to hear and rubbed salt in the wound by saying “oh but ALL bodies are good bodies!” directing it at me.
Feels like shit man.
I’ve met plenty of people who my height doesn’t matter to, and have landed some truly 10/10 women in my life (still no clue how) who also didn’t give a fuck. So why do I have to hear all these little backhanded comments throughout my daily life? No other body feature is as religiously dogged on and acceptably so by society than being a short man. Even by self proclaimed progressive people. If anything, they make you feel even worse about it. At least non-progressives are up front and open about their hateful thoughts about your height. A progressive will try to toxic positivity their way through their rhetoric.
I just wanna live without feeling like I’m on the bottom rung of society, man. I just want to be able to feel confident in myself without constantly having to dodge fucked up comments about something I can’t change and shouldn’t be made to feel like I have to.
r/short • u/FrodiniTalking • 1d ago
Recently, at 23, I found out the reason for my short stature and abnormal physical development, after seeing a urologist and an endocrinologist.
It turns out I had something called “precocious puberty,” which is basically hitting the milestones of puberty before the normal age, and in some cases that stunts total height growth. That explains why my dad is 5'11", my mom is 5'6", and I’m 5'5".
This condition also explains why at 10 years old I was already the height I am now, the tallest in my class, with pubic hair, armpit hair, and my first traces of a beard. It also explains why my hair loss started at 14.
Damn, I spent so many years of my adolescence thinking I was defective, that my mom was lying when she told me I was handsome, and that my dad didn’t look for me because I was weird. And yes, that left me feeling very isolated since I was little, and it’s only at this age that I’ve been able to find other men my age who are bald and look much older than they are.
But I’m not going to play the victim. Despite my short height, low self-esteem, and thinning hair, I did what I could by training my body, my intelligence, and my mind to make myself stronger. I also had access to girls older than me, which led me to lose my virginity at 13. My brain was affected too, which made me mature faster. So I’m happier than ever now.
I understand that kid who felt bad for being weird, and I wish I had known sooner. I also wish my mom had done something, because there’s treatment for this if it’s caught early. But that wasn’t the reality, and what I have now is the ability to face the adversities that come up, even with the disadvantages, using the tools I have and the ones I’m still building.
I’d like to know if anyone else in this sub went through something similar and how was your experience. Thanks for reading, cheers!
r/short • u/mynamestartswithCa • 1d ago
Hi all
I'm 163cm male. With a hand size of 17-18cm and wrist size of 16cm and overall my body and face looks younger than my real age (which is 30) some people mistaken me for 19 year old!
When I'm walking or at the metro I look at people's hands (crazy I know) and rarely I see a man with my hand size. And you can measure this for other things as well, like wrists, feet and overall look.
I see short guys as me but with bigger hands still. Or worse when I see women with bigger hands than me. Kind of embarrassing. So did I have developmental problems as a kid or something? I stopped growing for some reason or is this normal among short guys?
Some people will say It's good to have a youthful look but It's kind of bad as I see it because people don't take me seriously as they think I'm still teenager or some shit. Thus, lowering my self confidence. I'm not gonna lie I'm insecure about all of this.
Need your take on this guys. What are your sizes as well? and do you get mistaken for being younger than your actual age?
r/short • u/finalgirlilla • 21h ago
Kind of dumb question but I’ve had people say it’s 5’4 and some say 5’5 or closer to 5’6. And then the basic converter in google says 5’4 so that’s what I was calling myself. Like huh?
We don’t use feet or inches but now I’m curious because which one is it??
Is 5’4 correct or no?? I’m not sure where the thresholds are for a new foot. Super random but yah!
r/short • u/judunk45 • 1d ago
Ok so this post got taken so wrong.. my height does not bother me, I like being short and I like who I am, I'm just wondering why some other people think that because I'm so short they think they can do or say what ever they want to me. I'm saying I'm not an easy target do I look like one to other people? If you are driving behind me you can't see anyone driving the car because my head is far from the headrest, I've been pulled over many times. I don't think short people have anything to prove, I'm wondering if anyone feels like this because people say and do things to me that are just inappropriate. It's not a confidence hate on short people or myself thing.. it's a question. And when I said you might save a life it was a joke. I guess it's my dry sarcastic sense of humor? But that's me.
I would like to know what people really think of short people. What do you think when our legs don't touch the ground when we sit? When we can't reach things in a grocery store, when we sit close to the steering wheel and as high as the seat lets us go, when it looks like no one is driving because our heads don't even come close to the head rest. Do we look like easy targets? Do we seem like we can be taken advantage of? Do you think we have something to prove because of our size? I want real honest answers, maybe your comment will save a little life... Maybe your comment will save my life..
r/short • u/Suitable-Pirate-1829 • 1d ago
Do you guys think 75 kg at 5ft 4 is a realistic weight goal and wouldn't have much side effects right?
r/short • u/FarPercentage2470 • 1d ago
Hi yall, I am currently doing a class project that involves making a business model and my group and I decided on making pants for extremely Short/ Tall people. I was hoping some of you guys can take your time to share experiences that you have with trying to find pants that fit.
Here are some examples of the questions I am supposed to ask but I really just want to learn from your personal experience so feel free to share anything:
1 What is the biggest clothing pain point for you at your height?
2 Where do you currently buy jeans, and what is your consideration for choosing that company?
3 How much do you pay for jeans and what would be your ideal price?
4 What compromises, if any, do you make when wearing jeans? (i.e. wearing converse, capri style, platform shoes, cuffed legs)
5 Is there a style of jeans that you don’t wear because of their fit? Or is there a particular style you feel limited to, if this applies to you?
6 From a social perspective, what do you wish was reinforced or mitigated as a tall/short woman?
7 What is the biggest advantage and disadvantage of being your height?
Thank you everyone for your time!
r/short • u/Adventurous_Log_6865 • 1d ago
Well don't wanna generalize but probably something a lot of us here want but basically yea I know posted like 2 similar things already but just one more rant wouldn't hurt.
I'm 164cm male my mom's 164cm and my dad's 160cm and when you give your parental midpoint you get 168.5cm with a range of 8.5cm in either direction so 160-177 just wow I would have been really fine with 168.5-170 and honestly with how the range is it seems like 173 was quite possible but I don't know I guess I just wanted something that seemed fair if I was atleast 168.5cm maybe I'd stop whining so much.
r/short • u/Meme_lord_42 • 2d ago
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r/short • u/Adventurous_Log_6865 • 2d ago
Lately I've just been talking to Ai like gemini as a form of therapy I'll be honest it does help and it's kept me afloat but after interacting with this subreddit I realize I definetly need something real because it's way more meaningful so any suggestions?
Wore this outfit yesterday! I've been told the over-sized bolero makes me look shorter but it was cold out so I needed it lol
r/short • u/Frontier-Setter • 3d ago
Thank you. To everyone who left kind comments about us, it meant a lot. To the people who are skeptical, if she's Al or a new bot, you're entitled to your opinion.
She has always been a private person. I suggested she post on Reddit because I thought it was a creative way to share her cosplay, opinions, or even vent. She's logging off for a while because people have been DMing her photos of glizzy and tracking down her socials, so I'm covering for her. (She might still lurk on my phone tho)
Let's keep the comments chill so it won’t be removed, tryna get to everyone's questions. 🙏
r/short • u/Whole_Recording_3817 • 2d ago
When doctor measured my height, it was 163.5cm It's amost near to 5.5ft. Only 1cm difference. Could i claim as a 5.5ft guy for my interest
r/short • u/Adventurous_Log_6865 • 2d ago
More of a general question really as all individuals just want to be happy but as shorter people where it's obvious we have disadvantages in certain scenarios and the shorter one is, on average they are also less happy obviously there are outliers but for you guys what do you do to be happy?