r/shittyaskscience • u/1000IQCROCO • 3d ago

I can survive black hole 

I'm special and intelligent enough to survive a black hole; when they pull me in, I'll strike a crocodile pose, awaken the crocodile inside me, and accelerate so fast that I'll pass through it, explode the black hole, and teleport through a wormhole to a parallel universe. NASA and the physicists are idiots.
20 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

18

u/horridbloke 3d ago

The correct term is hole of color.

5

u/Maledict53 3d ago

Well… I have no way to prove the opposite is true. So I guess you win…. for now…

6

u/DanJOC 3d ago

The black hole 🕳️ isn't the problem. It's all the crap in the accretion disk.

5

u/Equivalent-Tour5999 3d ago

And I have Italian heritage, so I can probably deal with spaghettification.

3

u/Different-Term-2250 3d ago

I just tried it and can confirm it really works.

3

u/GobiPLX 3d ago

You're not intelligent enough to write normal reddit post, instead you put text in code block

3

u/max_sil 3d ago

How can you do that when I will just hit you with a sweet perfectly setup badass spinkick before you're even off the ground?

8

u/spambearpig 3d ago

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, but lunatics just need a platform.

Welcome to Reddit folks.

7

u/Legitimate_Field_157 3d ago

Of course you need a platform to dive into a black hole.

3

u/TeacupOfSkepticism 3d ago

You are very right

But

We can't be sure this message isn't from souped up super Steve Irwin who genuinely has this power after drinking two stubbies of VB bitter

5

u/spambearpig 3d ago

That’s preposterous.

It takes four stubbies at least before he can defy universal physics.

1

u/HumanPie1769 text 3d ago

false

2

u/1000IQCROCO 3d ago 
PROVE THE OPPOSITE TO ME

2

u/LordSupergreat 3d ago

If you're so smart, why isn't the crocodile inside you already awoken? Black holes never sleep, so if you are going to explode them, the Four Wicked Beasts within you must be equally sleepless.

1

u/BPhiloSkinner Amazingly Lifelike Simulation 3d ago

wɘ ɒɿɘ miɿɿoɿ you. ƚɿuɘ ƚo uꙅ iꙅ Ꮈɒlꙅɘ ƚo you.

1

u/CrzyMuffinMuncher 11h ago

Apparently mirroring also reversing grammar.

2

u/Legitimate_Field_157 3d ago

Why crocodile when alligator is such a better option?

One day when you have reached the required level of holiness we will teach you Caiman.

2

u/tliin 3d ago

That's badass! And also a bit racist.

1

u/somewherein72 1d ago

What's your plan when you get to the parallel universe?

1

u/CrzyMuffinMuncher 11h ago

You may survive the black hole, but will the black hole survive you?

1

u/ajping 3d ago

Are you intelligent enough to solve this equation Mr. Black Hole? "What is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?" Ha! I bet that stumped you.

1

u/Redfish680 3d ago

What’s with the implied racism? You afraid you can’t survive a white one??

1

u/South-Run-4530 3d ago

Do you guys think Reed Richards would survive a black hole? 🤔

1

u/Silt99 2d ago

and from the outside we wouldnt even know ur still alive...

1

u/mgarr_aha 2d ago

We'd only see crocodile tears frozen in time.

1

u/mgarr_aha 2d ago

Cool. If you see someone you know, it's probably just a wormhole alien who wants to talk to you. They see right through the crocodile bit.