r/nottheonion • u/everythingistaken500 • 8h ago

Talarico wants TMZ to host his debate with Paxton. Seriously.

chron.com

11k Upvotes

353 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 14h ago

Utah Woman Charged After Allegedly Watching Porn While Driving Before Fatal Crash

fashiontimes.co.uk

3.4k Upvotes

264 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SeaworthinessKey2956 • 3h ago

'Because We Showed Our Nipples': MMA Fighter Reveals Huge OnlyFans Payday After Nip Slip on Live TV

fashiontimes.co.uk

2.2k Upvotes

244 comments

r/nottheonion • u/shield_x • 11h ago

Polymarket stops users from wagering on possible felony charges for Cornell students accused of rape

pbs.org

1.9k Upvotes

80 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ddx-me • 6h ago

Vance says Republicans shouldn't complain about Ramaswamy ad featuring Amy Acton's estranged mother

apnews.com

1.8k Upvotes

190 comments

r/nottheonion • u/HimikoTogaFromUSSR • 17h ago

JustWatch, which tackles streaming fragmentation, launches own streaming service

arstechnica.com

1.6k Upvotes

76 comments

r/nottheonion • u/retroanduwu24 • 2h ago

'GTA 6' could cause $1 billion sick day as 1.5 million estimated to skip work: reports

fox29.com

853 Upvotes

184 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Efficient-Freedom517 • 8h ago

DHS granted permission to test heat ray weapon for potential use at border

lex18.com

709 Upvotes

100 comments

r/nottheonion • u/wettedup2212 • 8h ago

Putsch — who earlier this year sported a rifle in a campaign ad in which he invited Ramaswamy to play a game of "cowboys and Indians" — called the Arthur video "pretty damn low."

cbc.ca

494 Upvotes

32 comments

r/nottheonion • u/2204happy • 15h ago

Victorian Premier Ben Carroll admits to accidentally doing a runner after filling up car

news.com.au

432 Upvotes

For the Americans, the Premier is basically the state version of the Prime Minister.

148 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 9h ago

Beyond Blurred Lines: Tokyo Art Exhibition Draws Backlash Over Explicit Images of Minors

unseen-japan.com

377 Upvotes

63 comments

r/nottheonion • u/BERNITA • 1h ago

Officer who found man dead in Florida home allegedly moved in, renovated and assumed his identity for years

nbcnews.com

• Upvotes

41 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 1h ago

Channel 4 to recreate Nazi conditions for disabled people in new TV experiment

the-independent.com

• Upvotes

64 comments

r/nottheonion • u/vynats • 17h ago

Bikes 'not for jousting,' says Lime after duel video

aol.ca

183 Upvotes

38 comments

r/nottheonion • u/YoWoody27 • 2h ago

South Texas House candidate Brandon Herrera says kittens should be sent to Chinese restaurants

sacurrent.com

183 Upvotes

42 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Collie_Opterous • 1h ago

Student Group, Sponsored by Kalshi, Protests Onion Futures Act at Chicago Mercantile Exchange

chicagomaroon.com

• Upvotes

24 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Ok-Moose-992 • 3h ago

You Can Trade Contracts on Elections, but Not on Onions. These College Students Want To Fix That.

inkl.com

54 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Downtown-Sir-3200 • 11h ago

CCTV captures bear wandering through library

news.sky.com

45 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Flat_Sprinkles4342 • 8h ago

Championship trophy forgotten by Saskatoon Hilltops to be handed to Regina Thunder

globalnews.ca

41 Upvotes

3 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Phylogenix • 2h ago

1 in 5 Americans Regularly Get News on TikTok

pewresearch.org

35 Upvotes

21 comments

r/nottheonion • u/laybs1 • 9h ago

Chief of national museum apologizes over wrongful attribution of item on display

koreatimes.co.kr

30 Upvotes

1 comment

r/nottheonion • u/CzarDM • 3h ago

And finally… crapshoot

irishlegal.com

0 Upvotes

0 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
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12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
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Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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