r/mildlyinfuriating • u/senorplumbs • Sep 16 '26
I saw a ducky once Someone hid our fire hydrant
Woke up this morning to someone parked in front of our fire hydrant and hide it with a construction barrel. Cherry on top is the non emergency line basically told me “bummer”
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u/Ragnarsworld Sep 16 '26
You don't call the police for that. You call the fire department. They'll care.
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u/iEatSwampAss Sep 16 '26
They live for this. I went to high school with a (now) firefighter and he posted on Facebook last year about doing “randomized hydrant testing” on one that was blocked. The photo he attached had the hose running through the back two windows they busted out
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u/Cornflakes_91 Sep 16 '26
and a flooded car?
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u/Scared_Hovercraft632 Sep 16 '26
They won't flood the car but they'll leave you with two broken windows and a beefy citation.
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u/CommodoreFiftyFour Sep 16 '26
Not to mention insurance wont cover damage to the car since its classified as 'willful negligence'
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Sep 16 '26
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u/Salt-Operation Sep 16 '26
Maybe for an older common vehicle. Newer cars two new windows with tint and installation would run $1,000+
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u/Relative-Display-676 Sep 16 '26
Rear passanger windows are usually about $150 each and $400 installation fee.
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u/Zwischenzug32 Sep 16 '26
Cleaning the glass from the inside would be a bitch
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u/Jacktheforkie Sep 16 '26
That stuff is a nightmare to clean, and you’ll never get everything, colleague busted the forklift windscreen, was finding glass 3 years after that event, and that lift was driven a lot
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u/RepetitiveTorpedoUse Sep 16 '26
How did the windscreen get busted? Why does a forklift have a windscreen? They’re not supposed to be going particularly fast
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u/QuackBag Sep 16 '26
They work outside in rain?
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u/Mister_Goldenfold Sep 17 '26
No you QuackBag, it’s called a WINDSCREEN not a rain screen. SMH sheesh.
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u/chilldrinofthenight Sep 17 '26
No you QuackBag, it’s called a WINDSCREEN not a rain screen. SMH sheesh.
This really struck my funny bone. Thank you.
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u/RepetitiveTorpedoUse Sep 17 '26
I suppose, but I’ve still never heard of a forklift with a shield regardless. Must be some fancy ones
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u/SaidwhatIsaid240 Sep 16 '26
Plus you can’t move the vehicle till the FD pulls their equipment out.
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u/nopuse Sep 16 '26
Only if the hose was leaking, I guess.
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u/meta358 Sep 16 '26
Ya those hoses dont leak. If there a hole for them to leak through they blow up and they lose a hose.
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u/Jtp_Jtg Sep 16 '26
The hoses do leak and quite frequently actually.
It's usually only a small drip and nothing catastrophic like actually blowing up. I've seen a hose "blow up" once in my 5 years of firefighting after the connecting joint got ripped off the hose some weeks ago.
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u/the_other_gantzm Sep 16 '26
Back in the 70’s and 80’s if it was firefighting related it dripped or leaked, or both.
Well, that’s how I remember it anyways.
Strange days indeed. “How will I know when the tank is full? Is there a gauge?” “Nah, just close the valve when water comes rushing out the top of the truck.” “What?!?!?!?!?”
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u/Alexplz Sep 16 '26
Yeah and they whack it with their axe too
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u/RollTh3Maps Sep 16 '26
You know how a hose works, right?
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u/16GBwarrior Sep 16 '26
This.
I had a neighbor who would litter the neighborhood with fireworks every Memorial Day (U.S.) my yard and vehicles got covered in burned firework debris.
Tried numerous times trying to be reasonable with them and then calling the cops multiple times just for the cops to show up and do fuck all.
The neighbor thought they were being smart and launching the fireworks from across the street on a metal manhole cover on the corner of my property (actually the utility easement area). Which just so happens to be the utility access for mine and my other neighbors natural gas.
Called the police saying there was an immediate threat to my loved ones lives, my life, and my property. The police replied "we'll get there when we can" I informed them the volatile nature of natural gas, they seemed not to care.
Called the fire department and the city utilities...5 minutes they were hellin' into the neighborhood lights blaring.
Just remember, police are the bullies who peaked in high-school, thats why they are cops. Firefighters want to be Firefighters, so they actually care.
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u/TheLifelessOne Sep 16 '26
Yep. There is a reason no one ever wrote a song called "fuck the firefighters."
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u/Bamfhammer Sep 16 '26
Bloodhound gang got close, but it wasnt about the firefighters, instead the house.
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u/claudeL52 Sep 17 '26
This. I was a firefighter and never thought about this. Thanks for your intelligent response.
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u/Beetroot_Roosevelt Sep 16 '26
Cops care about protecting property first, people second. Firefighters care about protecting people first, property second.
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u/Tight-Escape3373 Sep 16 '26
They drilled into our head that our job was to, "save lives and protect property," in that order.
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u/DustyRacoonDad Sep 16 '26
Cops care about maintaining their position of power over those around them. Its drilled into their head that if they are not in charge they are not safe, and their own safety comes first.
They must cover for each other, or they will be pushed out of their little club.Just remember its only one bad apple.. and the saying goes "one bad apple spoils the whole bunch"
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u/af_cheddarhead Sep 17 '26
I overheard my fire chief tell the Air Force Wing Commander that was losing his shit over a building fire:
"Nobody got hurt, nobody got killed, the rest can be fixed." That chief had balls and was absolutely correct.
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u/Bamfhammer Sep 16 '26
The fastest response I have ever received about any call ive made was the smell of natural gas near a gas meter along the outside of city hall.
Smelled a strong odor next to the meter on my way in to a restaurant in the same building, made a call, and before I got my food two trucks were there fixing the leak.
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u/Jacktheforkie Sep 16 '26
I reported the smell of gas at work, they arrived 20 minutes later, it turned out that it was just a blocked drain , but at least no one risked blowing up
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u/Jimbobjoesmith Sep 16 '26
yep especially if they’re just sitting around with nothing to do.
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u/Electronic_Flan_482 Sep 16 '26
There was a dude at my last apartment who would park his mustang on the fireline by the building hookup. One day there was a fire, fire department used the truck to ram his mustang out of the way. I heard he tried to sue and instead got a big ticket.
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u/Neat_Turnover_1117 Sep 16 '26
exactly the fire department might have a little more interest in someone playing hide and seek with a fire hydrant
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u/Critical_Watcher_414 Sep 16 '26
They're just going to contact city parking enforcement, so might as well go direct to them. They are the only ones with authority to tow in instances like this.
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u/Ragnarsworld Sep 16 '26
Not in my state. Fire Marshals are fully empowered to show up, cite you, and tow you.
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u/Adventurous_Row3305 Sep 16 '26
The firefighters are not gonna like this.
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u/Spencer94 Sep 16 '26
Lol wrong. Firefighters love this shit. If there's an emergency, they'll be more than happy to break both rear windows and feed the hose through
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u/I_AM_DEATH-INCARNATE Sep 16 '26
Start a fire OP, give em a reason
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u/LilJonny2cookies Sep 16 '26
Light jeep on fire- they still break windows to put hose through before they put it out.
Be the chaos creator you were meant to be!
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u/nuffin-- Sep 17 '26
They're saying the firefighters hate when this happens and yes will be very glad to bust their windows open, they're not saying the firefighters won't respond bc they hate it. If theres an emergency they'd prefer unrestricted hoses so they do hate when people do this.
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u/nikjahw Sep 16 '26
They probably won't mind as much when the get to ram it out of the way or break in and put it in neutral. Maybe both for good measure
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u/Fart_of_The_Dark Sep 16 '26
Nah, they would break all windows to get access to the hydrant, move the leaking hose through the car and then demand compensation for the damaged hose (Yes, they can)
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u/Full-fledged-trash Sep 16 '26
If the non emergency line really said that, file a complaint. Their calls are recorded
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u/ImNoRickyBalboa Sep 16 '26
This. This is not just law enforcement, it's s public safety issue. I'd be livid if this happened in my neighborhood
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u/SquareSquirrel4 Sep 16 '26
Yeah, fire safety is not something to mess with because that is a truly horrible way to die. And it would be unbelievably devastating to find out your loved ones were hurt or you lost all of your worldly possessions just because some jagoff wanted a closer parking spot.
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u/Repulsive_Rich_3820 Sep 16 '26
It’s obviously a Jeep thing, you wouldn’t understand
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u/FauxmingAtTheMouth Sep 16 '26
I didn’t see the rubber duck on the cone, must not have been jeep enough
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u/ardarian262 Sep 16 '26
Bro, post to Facebook and tag your fire department with this type of shit.
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u/BunMeAgainPlease12 Sep 16 '26
How much karma do you get for that
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u/GugsGunny Sep 16 '26
Whoever moved that barrel should've made it harder for the driver to get it back.
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u/Limp-Conflict-2309 Sep 16 '26 edited Sep 16 '26
i'm a FF
you live in a complex, that hydrant is literally going to keep people alive in your building. i'm no karen but you need to call the non emergency police line, that idiot needs to realize they're being an idiot and get a ticket towed.
the lives of 100 people or a cool parking spot for 1 jabroni
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u/blasphemousblackbear Sep 16 '26
Call your city’s 311 or non-emergency fire department line. They’ll care
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u/elitegibson Sep 16 '26
Man it'd be a shame if someone took that barrell and threw it in a dumpster.
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u/porcelainvacation Sep 16 '26
It would be a shame if it caught fire. Plastic makes a thick black oily smoke that is sure to attract the FD.
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u/WGEA Sep 16 '26
Still parked in the yellow. In my town you'd get ticketed so fast, but also, parking enforcement would know there's a fire hydrant here anyway, so they would write as many tickets as they could until the tow truck shows up.
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u/supershinythings ******sigh******** Sep 16 '26
In my area we don’t call the non-emergency line. We call parking enforcement.
usually they get called for people parked in the disabled spots.
On the plus side, if hydrant access is blocked when firefighters need to use it, they’ll just bust out the windows. Parking enforcement can ticket after.
I happen to have a hydrant on one side of my front yard. I’ve watched over the years as parking enforcement has occasionally noticed and responded.
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u/That_guy_from_1014 Sep 16 '26
Guess it's time to start a fire
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u/audiate Sep 16 '26
In the jeep
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u/InForShortRidesUp Sep 16 '26
Sorry, there was nothing we could do since we couldn't get to the hydrant.
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u/Livid_Composer_5656 Sep 16 '26
IN a city where I used to live (Troy NY), if a car was blocking a hydrant needed for a fire, the FD would go through the car to get to it.
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u/Live_Life_and_enjoy Sep 16 '26
Call the Local Fire Department and say car is parked infront of fire hydrant and intentionally tried to sabotage the hydrant.
The Local FD will handle it from there.
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u/avantartist Sep 16 '26
Did they paint the curb too? Thought it was usually painted red if there’s a hydrant.
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u/OzarksExplorer Sep 16 '26
Call your nearest firehouse directly.
Non-emergency is still usually routed through central dispatch/911.
If you call the local house directly, they will probably be there in a few minutes and have the vehicle towed.
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u/Frequent_Opportunist Sep 16 '26
The cops aren't going to do shit about this and if the firefighters need to they will just push the car out of the way or run the hose right through the windows.
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u/Cosmic_Waffle_Stomp Sep 16 '26
Definitely don’t set anything on fire. I’d hate to see them get their windows smashed.
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u/ObjectiveAd971 Sep 17 '26
It's POSSIBLE that it was done by the fire department. When a hydrant is OUT OF SERVICE, they're covered with a yellow or orange heavy duty bag that clearly states it's OOS. If it has a moderate flow, they cover it with orange. They also paint a line in the street. It's so they don't waste precious time during an actual emergency.
Now, that's in the US, so that may not be what's happening here as I don't know where this is. It could still just be someone being an azzhat.
It's also still illegal to park there unless the Jeep belongs to someone at the FD that put that there while working on it. They need to be able to get to it to fix it.
It IS very satisfying to see the busted windows, and the car full of water when they've parked like this though. Risking lives for a F'ing parking spot!
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u/MichiganGeezer Sep 16 '26
The fire department wouldn't recognize the yellow paint, and somehow forget where they left their hydrant? 🤣
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u/Mediocre_Daikon6935 Sep 16 '26
Fire depts don’t install hydrants. And although in some places the fire depts test them, once or twice a year, in a lot of places it is whomever is in charge of maintaining the water lines.
In a perfect world there is a hydrant every x number of yards, in a happy little grid. This is not always the case, especially in older municipalities, for lots of reasons.
Yellow paint means no parking, not hydrant here. Very will could be yellow because of the ally, not because there is a hydrant.
And hydrants go missing. People hit them, they break and need replaced (rare).
Even in a mid cities municipality, there are hundreds of hydrants, at a minimum.
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u/Docrandall Sep 16 '26
This is mildly hilarious to me (unless there is a fire)
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u/mrekted Sep 16 '26
Seconds matter when it comes to structure fires. There's nothing funny about being the cause of a delay if the firefighters need access to that hydrant and are scrambling around trying to figure out where one is.
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u/ReleventReference Sep 16 '26
If there’s a fire they’ll just smash out the windows. Firemen don’t fuck around.
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u/SpaceCat72 Sep 16 '26
Yes bummer for the jeep owner if that hydrant is needed ....wait and see. But ditch the barrel. Expose his evil ways
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u/crabbypatty01 Sep 16 '26
Curb is painted yellow there anyways still ain’t supposed to be parking there
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u/UpbeatAngle3 Sep 16 '26
Let the local fire house know if it keeps happening. They will do something. Might be time for a hydrant check.
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u/Sensei19600 Sep 16 '26
Jeep driver, so it checks out. Can’t tell, but there are probably at least a dozen rubber ducks on the dashboard ,blocking the defroster vent.
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u/TheRealTinfoil666 Sep 17 '26
Imagine if someone else had a beef with that car owner and put the pylon over the hydrant to increase the penalties after they call the authorities.
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u/riki_grl Sep 17 '26
I think a call to your FD, not the PD, will get a much more substantial intervention. Maybe even dramatic.
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u/Fitz_2112b Sep 17 '26
Take the barrel and then call the fire department. They'll fuck that jeep up
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u/Average_Potato42 RED Sep 16 '26
Question, when did the red and yellow paint marks show up on the pavement and sidewalk? Those are utility markers for construction. Considering that the hydrant was covered with a construction barrel, they may have covered it because it is or will be out of service.
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u/RyanSmokinBluntz420 Sep 16 '26
Fire dept knows where it is but this is bullshit. It'll make the engine take longer finding it
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u/EntrepreneurGold9151 Sep 16 '26
I live in Boston. I see cars parked less than two feet from hydrants every day. There is absolutely no enforcement by the city.
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u/Satta-Massagana Sep 16 '26
Just pick it up and move it?? They're not that heavy.
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u/ksam3 Sep 16 '26
Does the barrel have ID written on it? Like, the city DPW, or state DOT? Which would indicate the jeep owner took it from a work site.
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u/Ordinary_Study_2175 Sep 16 '26
That guy probably did. So he could park there. Hello fire department! Unless it is being serviced?
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u/Ok_Variation9430 Sep 16 '26
In my neighborhood they don’t bother. There’s always someone parked in front of the hydrant in the next block (it’s across from a school so I assume it’s school employees).
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u/LeeTheUke Sep 16 '26
My uncle told me about his buddy (back in the 70s) that would carry around a metal trash can w/ the lid welded on and the bottom cut out so he'd always have a parking space wherever he went.
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u/BigBadBere Sep 16 '26
Um, sometimes hydrants go dry or experience low flow.
The call to make is to public works, not 911.
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u/Dense_Muscle_8285 Sep 16 '26
He didn't hide the painted curb