I'm 31 and based in the UK (sorry we call it maths here) and I've struggled with numbers and the whole subject my whole life. I excelled in most of my other subjects at school, however when it came to mathematics, I just couldn't get my head around it. I was extremely fortunate that I received extra help at school and that my parents recognised my struggles and had me going to personal maths tutor, but despite all this I still only got a C in maths (I'm fairly convinced that the grade boundaries were heavily lowered though due to our school year doing so badly).
During college, the tutors recognised my struggles and organised some sort of dsycalculia assessment type thing along with other students who were struggling. Stupidly, I never finished the assessment (turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD which I've only had diagnosed this year), so I never found out.
I have a degree in Biology which thankfully doesn't have too much maths involved, but I've had enough of just getting by trying to avoid the subject, so the last few months I've been trying to re-learn it starting from the very basics. My partner is a maths whizz and he offered to help me, claiming that I probably just had bad teachers, but then he said he was finding it difficult because I just can't grasp basic stuff and I ask weird questions like "but why is a 7, 7"? or "but why is this number on top during a fraction?". Just getting really deep into it, it's like a whole different language for me. I can't visualise numbers and calculations, even when I write it down and my brain just gets muddled so easily. I couldn't figure out 20/1=20.. because I can't visualise it, I just see a different language that I need to try memorise, so I don't know the difference between 20/1 or 1/20. It's embarrassing because I still need to do basic maths in my job and I can't do simple stuff because I just don't understand it, or I know the answer but I don't understand why that's the answer. Sometimes I overthink a correct asnwer so much that I end up making it incorrect.
I'm so embarassed and sad about this. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I just can't get it. When I was learning basic fractions, I had to draw pictures of pizza slices and stuff and I was still getting it wrong. I'm 31 years old and I can't do basic fractions or times tables or literal primary school maths. No matter which method I try, I get confused. I've tried books, youtube videos, mock tests, my partner going through questions with me.
I don't know what to do, I really want to keep trying to learn but it's just making me feel depressed and stupid :(