Our moon being formed.

[u/howimetyourcakeshop]

[u/redditsucksass69765]

Imagine this happens again today. It will devastate the economy.

[u/Eighty-Nine → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/PossiblyMakingThisUp → u/Eighty-Nine]

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it (because they went extinct from their economy being wiped out by an asteroid) - George Santayana

[u/iRegretsEverything → u/PossiblyMakingThisUp]

Thanks Obiden

[u/Independent-Gazelle6 → u/iRegretsEverything]

[u/UntidyVenus → u/iRegretsEverything]

Jobrack Obiden

[u/dsdvbguutres → u/iRegretsEverything]

Bibama

[u/josnik → u/PossiblyMakingThisUp]

Don't worry, it's already priced in.

[u/VFour_ → u/Eighty-Nine]

Think about the shareholders!

[u/stuttufu → u/VFour_]

Every time I see a gigantic asteroid crashing on our planet, I know that we will receive a mass layoff email from the HR next Monday.

[u/johnnybiggles → u/stuttufu]

And you're still going to be expected to finish the workday before cleaning out your desk.

[u/madmexicano → u/VFour_]

Poor shareholders

[u/im_new_here_4209 → u/VFour_]

And their children, think about the children of the shareholders!!!

[u/TruskVarner → u/VFour_]

Eckhardt! Think about the future!

[u/Dragon6172 → u/Eighty-Nine]

But the Dow is over 50,000!

[u/SimplePlus7376 → u/Dragon6172]

welp, not anymore.. guess those Epstein files are free to be released

[u/Immediate-Damage-302 → u/Dragon6172]

DOLLARS?!?

[u/n1ghtm4n → u/Dragon6172]

if the Earth was blasted in half, that's still 25,000. that's where we were in 2019. we'd be fine.

[u/cruisin_urchin87 → u/Eighty-Nine]

[u/Giffdev → u/cruisin_urchin87]

[u/virtuouswraith → u/Eighty-Nine]

Asteroids!? In this economy!?

[u/Eighty-Nine → u/virtuouswraith]

I was promised a multi-quadrillion dollar gold asteroid and I'm going to get it

[u/PowerOfUnoriginality → u/Eighty-Nine]

Ok, but how will this affect the release of the Epstein files

[u/TheRemainingFruitcup → u/Eighty-Nine]

This made me laugh so hard 😭😭

[u/t1ttlywinks → u/Eighty-Nine]

Gas prices are boutta be CRAZY!

[u/stacecom → u/Eighty-Nine]

But the Dow is over 50,000!

[u/RivvaBear → u/Eighty-Nine]

NO! THE SHAREHOLDER VALUE!

[u/Solrax → u/redditsucksass69765]

Why would Biden do this?!?

[u/Ruby5000 → u/Solrax]

Biden shit my pants!

[u/GrizzKarizz → u/Ruby5000]

I shat Biden's pants.

[u/JolleyCutYowie → u/Solrax]

It's the tariffs. If there is one thing runaway planetoids can't stand it's tariffs. Might as well have painted a target on our sorry asses.

[u/Iampepeu → u/Solrax]

Thanks, Obama!

[u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy → u/redditsucksass69765]

I keep an emergency fund for exactly this scenario.

[u/dmj9 → u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy]

I've maxed out all my credit cards for exactly this scenario.

[u/calycocalypso → u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy]

Suzee orman can I go on this deep space vacation using my emergency fund??

[u/Zeta-2-Reticuli → u/calycocalypso]

Yes but no avocado toast for the next week!

[u/Cyber-Spaceman → u/calycocalypso]

Jfc i thought this was Kristen Bell for a second

[u/Practical-Simple1621 → u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy]

this is why everyone needs a quality basement

[u/CarlJustCarl → u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy]

Bro?

[u/Caleb-Wendt69 → u/JustSomeCoffeeGuy]

This is why I’m armed to the teeth

[u/Few_Wallaby_9128 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Already priced in

[u/Brave_Quantity_5261 → u/redditsucksass69765]

It would get everyone to forget about fuel prices.

[u/jesusonice → u/Brave_Quantity_5261]

Don't give them any ideas for distraction

[u/Adkit → u/Brave_Quantity_5261]

Except for rocket fuel which would inexplicably go up in price just before.

[u/jbochsler → u/Brave_Quantity_5261]

But still not enough for the Trump-Epstein files.

[u/Special_Feedback9145 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Just move your positions into the bond market and you should be fine.

[u/Eccohawk → u/Special_Feedback9145]

I feel like if this happens, millions of bonds will be destroyed.

[u/Scaindawgs_ → u/Eccohawk]

Nah theyll just hit 7%

[u/dsdvbguutres → u/Special_Feedback9145]

You should diversify your portfolio bro

[u/Dr_Bunson_Honeydew → u/redditsucksass69765]

Won’t they think of the billionaires?!

[u/dsdvbguutres → u/Dr_Bunson_Honeydew]

You're still coming to work tomorrow tho, right?

[u/Mdnghtmnlght → u/Dr_Bunson_Honeydew]

They will be safe right? Deep deep deep underground?

[u/CompetitiveSport1 → u/Dr_Bunson_Honeydew]

Yeah, I hope they remember to hit the Mars colonies if those exist when this happens

[u/BrownpaperbaG830 → u/redditsucksass69765]

The DOW!

[u/RebylReboot → u/redditsucksass69765]

And the tour!

[u/shadowst17 → u/RebylReboot]

What tour?

[u/Gunrock808 → u/redditsucksass69765]

"Don't Look Up"

[u/Punkrexx → u/redditsucksass69765]

I have buckets of food and water stored in my basement for this exact scenario.

[u/Glittering-Quote-635 → u/redditsucksass69765]

No it wouldnt.. imagine the natural resources and rare theia minerals that we could mine off of it. You are totally missing the benefits of this collision to corporate profits. Stupid liberal.

[u/OdiousAltRightBalrog → u/Glittering-Quote-635]

We can also use it as an excuse to raise prices and reduce wages! We can lobby the government to bail us out with "loans" we never have to pay back! "Help me, Uncle Sam, Theia scuffed my new data center!"

[u/stax_fira → u/redditsucksass69765]

I think there’s a select group of people who’ve taken it upon themselves to manage that for us regardless.

[u/MaxxSavage2652 → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/Shadow-Snatcher → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/Mizake_Mizan → u/redditsucksass69765]

At least it would solve global warming!

[u/Strict-March-6361 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Fake news! Market already priced this in!

[u/FacticiousFict → u/redditsucksass69765]

Screw the economy. My Pokemon card collection will be ruined!

[u/peaceful_pancakes → u/redditsucksass69765]

I'm just bummed I'll have to go to work.

[u/CarlJustCarl → u/redditsucksass69765]

You nailed it.

[u/mostdope28 → u/redditsucksass69765]

And my boss will still expect me to show up at 6am for work

[u/Lolseabass → u/redditsucksass69765]

Will this affect the price of grain in Romania?

[u/DK_Christian_DK → u/redditsucksass69765]

Trump would fix it

[u/sk0pe_csgo → u/redditsucksass69765]

If you recall, we tried voting for Giant Meteor in 2016 but somehow the orange man still came out on top, so I don't think we have to worry about any giant meteors for a while.

[u/banananailgun → u/redditsucksass69765]

I mean, economics is simply a measure of human activity, so... yes

[u/PoopyInThePeePeeHole → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/HockeyBrawler09 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Its already priced in

[u/Tdubbium → u/redditsucksass69765]

probably effect the trout population as well

[u/MaatStaaf → u/redditsucksass69765]

Buy the dip!

[u/Optimal-Savings-9623 → u/redditsucksass69765]

I’d imagine Trump would make a scathing post on truth social about Joe Biden being responsible right before the lava tsunami

[u/Eccohawk → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/TastySpermDispenser7 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Another liberal cuck. I am out here getting as fat as possible because using gravity to pull a planet into earth makes liberal cry.

[u/OK_x86 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Won't someone think of the shareholder value?

[u/EvilDan69 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Silly. Think of all the free resources. Hopefully we get a solid gold core to mine

[u/Conscious_Fault → u/redditsucksass69765]

This will ruin the tour

[u/Potentialpoly888 → u/redditsucksass69765]

School will be online

[u/the-sad-boi → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/jr350 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Don’t worry it’s already priced in

[u/jingiski → u/redditsucksass69765]

The building sector will go nuts.

[u/prodigalAvian → u/redditsucksass69765]

"Moon Man" (2022).
Brazen 'The Martian' knockoff, but it is funny.

[u/Raneynickelfire → u/redditsucksass69765]

...bring it. I don't fucking care anymore.

[u/External-Abalone-348 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Imagine the state of the DOW

[u/Mr_Planck_Lid → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/Roger_Mexico_ → u/redditsucksass69765]

Fuck the economy, this will ruin the tour.

[u/garrettj100 → u/redditsucksass69765]

If it happens again today the dumbest 20% of the population will assure us it's fake.

[u/Vaqek → u/redditsucksass69765]

Priced in already.

[u/FakeSafeWord → u/redditsucksass69765]

"Damnit Biden!"

[u/jesterflesh → u/redditsucksass69765]

Still gonna have to work on monday

[u/NJdestroyed → u/redditsucksass69765]

And delay the football schedule

[u/InterestingCourse907 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Your boss will still need you to come in though

[u/Certain_Professor_47 → u/redditsucksass69765]

And ruin the tour.

[u/kihra1 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Just buy gold and short iron cores.

[u/PlaneGoFlyFly → u/redditsucksass69765]

NYSE will still be going strong, though.

[u/Both-Improvement5170 → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/crowmagnuman → u/redditsucksass69765]

Immediate recession, for sure.

[u/_Zef_ → u/redditsucksass69765]

This is gonna ruin the tour

[u/SistaChans → u/redditsucksass69765]

It's gonna ruin the tour. 

[u/lucas_3d → u/redditsucksass69765]

It would fix the economy.

[u/Nearbyatom → u/redditsucksass69765]

The first thing people will think about is their stock portfolio.

[u/Sheldonopolus → u/redditsucksass69765]

Trump would still find a way to fuck the devastated economy.

[u/gpippy → u/redditsucksass69765]

It’ll ruin the tour too!

[u/Moodaduku → u/redditsucksass69765]

OH NO THE TROUT POPULATION

[u/mister_empty_pants → u/redditsucksass69765]

This would disproportionately affect women, LGBT, and POC so Americans won't even give a shit.

[u/BenadrylTumblercatch → u/redditsucksass69765]

Nvidia will survive, Nvidia is inevitable

[u/ManagementKey1338 → u/redditsucksass69765]

My brain saying the exact words

[u/Rudabaker454 → u/redditsucksass69765]

I'll never financially recover from this.

[u/Famous_Librarian_589 → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/MacaronNo5646 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Oh dear god, no.

[u/jahshh → u/redditsucksass69765]

It would ruin the tour

[u/HardcoreHope → u/redditsucksass69765]

2029 is going to be our next chance.

[u/ZeusTroanDetected → u/redditsucksass69765]

It’ll really ruin the world tour

[u/tonythephonyjabroni → u/redditsucksass69765]

I blame whoever the president is at the time. Probably Hunter Biden’s grandkid.

[u/GreenLynx1111 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Don't look up.

[u/Trnostep → u/redditsucksass69765]

That would affect the trout population

[u/Causticburner → u/redditsucksass69765]

Thank you for triggering my snort laugh!

[u/IllustriousBig7553 → u/redditsucksass69765]

It wouldn’t affect my bank account balance at all. 

[u/Yoman987654 → u/redditsucksass69765]

The fishing season

[u/Funkyp0tat0chip → u/redditsucksass69765]

It won't be good for the trout population.

[u/DistributeQuickly559 → u/redditsucksass69765]

But the Dow!

[u/gaoshan → u/redditsucksass69765]

“Yes but think about how much it would cost to try to prevent it. Who’s going to pay for that? Not me.” - Conservatives/Lobstertarians

[u/Revenge_of_the_Khaki → u/redditsucksass69765]

I am never going to financially recover from this.

[u/mattchewy43 → u/redditsucksass69765]

You're still going to work. Even if you have to commute from the moon.

[u/OldManufacturer8679 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Why would Joe Biden do this?

[u/Abortifetus → u/redditsucksass69765]

Trump 3 or planetary colision

Wich way western man?

[u/quietstormx1 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Companies still wouldn’t approve pto

[u/Altruistic_Repeat862 → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/DILLIGAF73 → u/redditsucksass69765]

My boss - "you're still coming in to work today though, right?"

[u/SimpleLobsters → u/redditsucksass69765]

Eh.... Id be ok with it

[u/A1000eisn1 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Yeah but think of all the free cheese raining down. It would solve world hunger.

[u/lunar_reaper3 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Oh it is happening, why do you think Elon is rushing to Mars and the moon 😭🙏

[u/CanIsleepyetIamtired → u/redditsucksass69765]

You mean fix it

[u/Skyrave94 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Boss: "...but you're still coming to work, right?"

[u/Snoo_67548 → u/redditsucksass69765]

I’d sell everything the moment I heard this was happening and get into physical gold!!!

[u/_hopkins → u/redditsucksass69765]

Doubt it. It’s all priced in

[u/Dizzy_Law396 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Share prices would fall surely

[u/Cantstopeatingshoes → u/redditsucksass69765]

Fuck. Will my pension be OK though?

[u/sogorthefox → u/redditsucksass69765]

This will affect the trout population

[u/felixfortis1 → u/redditsucksass69765]

But the GDP based on AI will be unharmed somehow....

[u/PlentyBoot5135 → u/redditsucksass69765]

[u/zharrzel → u/redditsucksass69765]

In fact It is happening. The IA is striking earth again

[u/TraumaticAberration → u/redditsucksass69765]

Someone should sell insurance for this sort of thing 

[u/redDonki → u/redditsucksass69765]

Oh no!! what will the shareholders say?

[u/Chmuurkaa_ → u/redditsucksass69765]

Do I still have to go to work?

[u/TinKnight1 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Somehow, American conservatives will find a way to blame Obama for it.

[u/anonstarcity → u/redditsucksass69765]

Even Buccee’s?!?

[u/dwittherford69 → u/redditsucksass69765]

So, calls it is.

[u/asforus → u/redditsucksass69765]

Idk the Dow is over 50k. Theia doesn’t have shit on the Dow.

[u/Zestyclose-Set6502 → u/redditsucksass69765]

The DOW is over 50,0000 right now

[u/Nonterras → u/redditsucksass69765]

Will nobody think of the shareholders!???

[u/Caleb-Wendt69 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Won’t someone think of the shareholders?

[u/AdDesigner6673 → u/redditsucksass69765]

Economy? That would be the last problem considering that we all will be dead if that happen.

[u/youRFate → u/AdDesigner6673]

Thatsthejoke.xslx

[u/LeBronsBiggestHater → u/redditsucksass69765]

And the liberals would still find a way blame trump and riot in the streets