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u/Snoo_75138 3d ago
I was like you, but that was due to work.
The trick is to have a hobby/ passion, and find a local group/ organisation that welcomes newbies! For me it's Hiking!
I joined my countrys Mountain Club last year, and been a few times, every person I've met is both twice my age or more, and friendly AF!
I have plans to attent twice next month, it's basically volunteer work to fix up the Huts we own and use for events like hiking and gatherings!
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u/Robbie1266 3d ago
Yeah but I'm hat about a healthy, long term friend group of people your own age? It's great to have older friends, but if that's all you have, that severely limits the social opportunities you will have in the future
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u/Snoo_75138 3d ago
I will meet people my age eventually, this club spans the entire country. It is really embarrassing when the 62 yr old granny can climb a mountain better than I walk up a steep road...but hey, I've got time to learn.
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u/Peakomegaflare 2d ago
See, that's great. But where do you get the energy and time to do that? Because good god does my work life devour everything.
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u/Snoo_75138 2d ago
I gave up on working and now study for a job I'll likely never get.
It's the Get Z dream!
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u/sonicdeath182 3d ago
That's me. I go to work, socialize with coworkers, then come home and it's silence. Can't tell you how many times a night I check my phone to see if anyone texted me. To my disappointment and lack of surprise, nobody ever does. It's hard.
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u/AntiqueGarlicLover 3d ago
I miss having a group of friends too, but you gotta put effort into finding groups.
I Joined a knit/crochet group which is weirdly a bunch of young people. Have a board game group that we try to meet 1-2 a month. I’m trans, so I joined a queer running group that meets every Sunday & a trans specific group that meets once a month and games together every other week.
And through those groups, I’ve found people to go out to bars with, go to events with, spend random holidays off with, and rely on when I need advice.
Socializing looks a hell of a lot different. It’s hard, but the effort pays off.
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u/NetworkEcstatic 3d ago
I was like this and thought man, turn 30 and its just how it is.
Then I started putting myself out there doing things I wanted to do with friends.
Boom. Met friends.
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u/ladybugz91 3d ago
Right!? Exactly. I want that, but just can’t find the ones who value me and bring something to my life. I’m not interested in being used.
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u/Calichusetts 3d ago
Society: it’s weird to talk to people in public, it’s kinda creepy too. Jist mind your business and go about your day. Just use social media to connect, it’s easier.
Also society: why are people so lonely?
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u/skrtte 3d ago
i had this multiple times and each and every time it crumbles to pieces dramatically
its groupthink. it should not be something you aspire to have. group of friends, sure, but most of these times that people look like they are really close and happy, its codependency. at least that’s been my reality with talk everyday, hang everyday, go out every night friends
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u/Wastelander103 3d ago
Good I feel this so much. I e lost a lot of friends over the years and meeting new people seems impossible
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u/Confident_Donkey1014 3d ago
Kinda the opposite for me. At one point in time I had a ton of friends, and it was exhausting trying to keep up with them all. I have a few friends I play games with on a weekly basis and that’s mostly it. And I’m perfectly fine with that.
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u/VampyreBassist 3d ago
I get it. When I lived with my parents and my friends were a 10-20 minute drive, there was always an excuse to not hang out... With me. Hell, my best friend moved multiple times and never so much as texted me about it, only for me to find out they had moving out parties, I would only find out when his wife would upload pictures online. Eventually I moved away and he now is meeting up with me occasionally on Discord and streaming with me and he makes it out like "I always wanted to hang out". No you didn't. If I set things up and you didn't deny it outright, you canceled last minute, usually within hours. And then you never invited me for anything.
Sometimes people just... Aren't good friends for you. 🙍
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u/Jokerchyld 3d ago
We use things like WhatsApp to keep.in touch. I have a group with mu college friends going back some 30 years. Highs lows, marriage, kids.. Im grateful to have them.
We try to get together locally once a month just to eat and talk shit. Once a year to get together will those out of state in an agreed upon location.
Just have to commit to doing it and making it a priority
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u/JanitorOPplznerf 3d ago
Went and saw the SF movie with the boys yesterday. We joked about it over text all day. We have D&D tomorrow.
It’s effort but it’s worth it
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u/Expert_Struggle_7135 2d ago
I only really hang out with my wife, my son, and my gym buddies on a daily or weekly basis.
Hanging out with anyone else always seems to take a toll on my health and performance in the long run. Most people I know, apart from my gym buddies, have zero interests outside of getting drunk. It’s all they want to do whenever you come over. The second you walk through the door, they’re already grabbing beers from the fridge.
Honestly, I feel sad for them at this point. Imagine getting into your late 30's/early 40s and still having no interests or hobbies beyond drinking with the same couple of losers every week.
I’ve more or less written most people off as lost causes at this point. I might visit them a few times a year just to see if they’ve gotten their shit together, but they never have.
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u/Green-Warlock 2d ago
Two way street.
You gotta nurture friendships.
Too many people just stop talking and realize they also played a role in the disintegration of their own relationships.
I’m in my early thirties and I’ve got 8 buddies I’ve known from decades and it takes stepping up and making time when sometimes you might not feel like it. But then you do and you’re glad you did.
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u/TrashTownPodcast 2d ago
be me
go up to random people in public and ask them to hang out
have lots of friends
don’t understand the whole chronically online personality type
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u/honeysblossom 1d ago
I have the same problem . Sometimes i think i don't have anyone to call or to hang out . I try to go out more or go for some walks . I tried joining some courses or hobby's so i make some new friends i will see how it goes . I am giving thumbs up everyone who has the same problem
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