Mages: One new spell for all specs that instantly kills your target for 1% mana and also kills the player IRL in PvP. All Mages get a sick ass Mana Tiger mount at level 20 and some baller sunglasses to shame anyone who plays other classes.
Shamans: Chain Lightning replaced with Thunderstorm which deals 0 damage but has nice sound effects so you can hype up Mages.
DPS talents replaced with threat talents but no actual tanking talents or abilities so Shamans can get the Paladin experience of weakening all specs to make a meme spec work because HYBRID.
Paladins: Twist of Light now works for up to three attacks but Seals cost 150% more mana. Holy Shield removed and replaced with Avenger’s Shield but it only hits one target and generates no threat. Holy Light and Flash of Light removed because Holy Shock no longer has a cooldown and is now the only heal Paladins need.
Hunters: All pet abilities now stack up to 5 times and prevent the use of similar class abilities. Minimum range is now 5 yards. Hunters get 50 stable slots.
Warriors: Reduced the cooldown of all CDs by an additional 50%. Defensive cooldowns now lasts twice as long if there’s a Protection Paladin in the party or raid to remind them that they’re inferior.
Druids: Shifting out of Cat form puts a 10 sec cooldown on all forms to ensure that power shifting is permanently dead. Balance druids now get a new spell called Moonbeam which does 0 damage but has cool lighting effects so they can also hype up Mages. Innervate cooldown is now reduced to 5 seconds as long as the target is a Mage. Bears are locked into a /dance for 1 minute whenever a Protection Warrior /flexes at them.
Warlocks: Demons now ask you why you’re not playing Mage every 5 seconds. Soul Shards take up two bag slots per shard.
Priests: Shadow Priests now also gives mana along with health from Vampiric Embrace but only if there are no stinky Shamans or Paladins in the party. Penance nerfed by 33%. Prayer of Protection is a new spell for Holy priests that is cast in 1 second and heals for an amount equivalent to the removed Flash of Light from Paladins.
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u/MCSplinter 14h ago
This just in.
Mages: One new spell for all specs that instantly kills your target for 1% mana and also kills the player IRL in PvP. All Mages get a sick ass Mana Tiger mount at level 20 and some baller sunglasses to shame anyone who plays other classes.
Shamans: Chain Lightning replaced with Thunderstorm which deals 0 damage but has nice sound effects so you can hype up Mages.
DPS talents replaced with threat talents but no actual tanking talents or abilities so Shamans can get the Paladin experience of weakening all specs to make a meme spec work because HYBRID.
Paladins: Twist of Light now works for up to three attacks but Seals cost 150% more mana. Holy Shield removed and replaced with Avenger’s Shield but it only hits one target and generates no threat. Holy Light and Flash of Light removed because Holy Shock no longer has a cooldown and is now the only heal Paladins need.
Hunters: All pet abilities now stack up to 5 times and prevent the use of similar class abilities. Minimum range is now 5 yards. Hunters get 50 stable slots.
Warriors: Reduced the cooldown of all CDs by an additional 50%. Defensive cooldowns now lasts twice as long if there’s a Protection Paladin in the party or raid to remind them that they’re inferior.
Druids: Shifting out of Cat form puts a 10 sec cooldown on all forms to ensure that power shifting is permanently dead. Balance druids now get a new spell called Moonbeam which does 0 damage but has cool lighting effects so they can also hype up Mages. Innervate cooldown is now reduced to 5 seconds as long as the target is a Mage. Bears are locked into a /dance for 1 minute whenever a Protection Warrior /flexes at them.
Warlocks: Demons now ask you why you’re not playing Mage every 5 seconds. Soul Shards take up two bag slots per shard.
Priests: Shadow Priests now also gives mana along with health from Vampiric Embrace but only if there are no stinky Shamans or Paladins in the party. Penance nerfed by 33%. Prayer of Protection is a new spell for Holy priests that is cast in 1 second and heals for an amount equivalent to the removed Flash of Light from Paladins.
Rogue: The