r/auslan • u/imsecretlyabird • Sep 11 '26
Auslan, roommates, and second language
My two roommates are a couple and learning Auslan together. They are both hearing, and are learning it from a desire of curiosity and inclusion. They both started learning it before I knew them.
However, they will often swap to Auslan when I am around. I have no issue if this is in a bigger group and I have other people to talk to, but I find it disrespectful when it happens mid-conversation when the three of us are talking (such as chatting while cooking dinner). The dynamic that exists between us is that we do speak over each other at times, but I am finding myself more annoyed when it's in Auslan and I can't even understand the interruption. I also find it a bit uncomfortable when I can hear them talking in a shared space and I leave my room to come join them, and then they immediately switch to Auslan or a hybrid conversation.
I'm trying to navigate this in a respectful way, and I am supportive of them learning and practicing it at home! I know it is their place too and I'm not looking to police a common language, but I just wanted thoughts on if my feelings are out of line
Thank you in advance!
17
u/Public-Syllabub-4208 Sep 11 '26
If I were you I’d learn Auslan, and not tell them. But I play the long game.
8
u/minodude Auslan student (Hearing) Sep 11 '26
Enormous bonus points if you bide your time and only reveal you understand by, when they say something significant, signing PAH!
Would be 100% worth it.
4
1
u/No_Emotion6907 Sep 20 '26
I speak my now exhusbands first languages. His family knew I was learning one, but not that I had picked up the other.
I hid it for years, then accidentally made a comment when they were discussing dinner plans, and now they don't gossip in front of me anymore 😂 However my boss also speaks that language so I get some brownie points there when I use it.
7
u/B333Z Sep 11 '26
Auslan or not, they're being disrespectful by communicating in a language you can't communicate in. Their actions are the opposite of being inclusive. I'd bring it up with them. Let them know how it makes you feel ostracised
8
u/imsecretlyabird Sep 11 '26
Okay thank you! I just wanted to make sure my feelings were justified before raising it
4
u/monstertrucktoadette Sep 11 '26
I think this is worth talking to them about, specifically about are there any issues they aren't bringing up with you.
Specifically what strikes me is "I hear them talking, and come out and join them, and then they switch to auslan/hybrid"
Esp bc this is two different answers. If they are using both its possible they've been both the whole time, and you were just hearing the English part. If they are switching entirely to auslan, it's possible they are finding it intrusive that you are coming out of your room to hang out when they wanted to just make dinner/hang out with each other.
Living with a couple of tough! I don't think this is an auslan issue so much as friendship issue, but how they react if you tell them how this makes you feel will tell you a lot about if they are good friends...
21
u/Particular-Try5584 Sep 11 '26
Your room mates are rude… it’s the same as if they were Thai and switched to talking in Thai right?
So you have two options:
1) Call them on it “Hey, I can’t speak Auslan, can you please verbalise in English for me, this is feeling quite rude!”
2) Say nothing, let it simmer, and move out as soon as you can.
Reality is you’ve hit the nail on the head. They are a) triangulating against you (they are a couple, they will side with each other), and b) you talk over each other a lot… so things in this house aren’t going smoothly right, there’s conflict? So find a way to let them clear the air and you do the same, or move out.