Absolutely-not-me

44

u/DudeFrom816 13h ago

Somehow redditors think its better to let a girl know you're better than her, then proceed to tell her how she can do things better, rather than just being goofy and having a good time on the first date. This explains the whole not having a girlfriend thing thats so pervasive on here.

15

u/res06myi 10h ago

I'm a woman and I'd be upset about being lied to. There are gracious ways to be better at something than someone else.

10

u/Ok-Gur-349 10h ago

Yeah like... Don't invite a bad bowler out for bowling as your first date if you're a friggin bowling coach. Just pick a different activity.

It's like being a pool shark and inviting your first date out to hustle her, it's ridiculous lol.

4

u/ArcMaxim 9h ago

Lie is a stretch IMO. He just pretended he couldn’t bowl well. If he really locked in and kicked her ass every moment it probably would have been less fun

2

u/OakvaleFlames 9h ago

I personally wouldn't have fun finding out someone was taking it easy on me the whole time. Why not do something else?

0

u/res06myi 9h ago

Yeah, there's something weird going on with him choosing his primary hobby for a first date activity.

1

u/Comfortable-Habit242 2h ago

I feel like people have never been bowling?

Bowling isn’t basketball or billiards. The two players never really interact. Just because the people I’m with do well, doesn’t diminish my own experience. I get to do the same thing.

Bowling is like golf. The only person you’re really competing with is yourself. If you’re a good person, you can be excited for other people’s successes.

If someone can’t “lose” gracefully, you should take that as a sign to not be with them.

If the better bowler doesn’t trust you enough to be an adult and be ok with “losing” and is going to go out of their way to deceive you, they kind of don’t respect your emotional stability.

1

u/DudeFrom816 9h ago

Its a first date, he wanted to have fun with her. He wasnt trying to show off, or talk down, or make her feel some kid of way. It's not like he's going to hide it forever, its a first date, relax and have fun geez

5

u/rolllll 11h ago

I think blatantly lying is the issue for some people. Nothing wrong with not being a hard ass

1

u/m0nkeydluddy 4h ago

Nah this is the redditor take…I would much rather a guy be honest and teach me how to get better than pretend to be worse than me just to make me feel better for one date

1

u/Comfortable-Habit242 2h ago

This is an absurd reductionist strawman.

1

u/Darthkhydaeus 11h ago

I think it depends. I would normally ask if we are just playing for fun or are we being competitive.

Anecdotally, I usually play under my level for stuff to keep things interesting. However, I jave had mixed reactions to this. One woman started being competitive during crazy golf after I let her basically cheat on a few holes to stop her getting high scores. Another called me out and asked me to actually play properly. We had a good few dates after this too.

I think it just depends on the vibes. In general I try not to show people up if it is not competitive. This includes friends of both exes.

0

u/DharmaCub 11h ago

Personally, I would just not invite my date to my job site and proceed to pretend not to know how to do my job. Just like get pizza or go to laser tag.

Or at least a different bowling alley that doesn't have your picture on the wall.

1

u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 11h ago

Can't really compare your typical job site to a bowling alley, construction sites aren't designed for people that don't work there to hang out and socialize

1

u/Wind-and-Waystones 10h ago

And yet it never stopped us drinking there as teens

1

u/DudeFrom816 10h ago

Maybe bowling was her idea?

1

u/DharmaCub 10h ago

Go to a different bowling alley then?

1

u/Guywhonoticesthings 10h ago

Your Reddit profile thing is the same color and I can’t take this conversation seriously because of that I’m sorry

4

u/dog-bellyrub-expert 9h ago

I went bowling for the first time in over a decade on a first date. I expected to have a few laughs at my expense. Turns out I was weirdly good at bowling.

6

u/rosalievienna 12h ago

Honestly, high IQ move. Nothing ruins a casual date faster than someone trying to flex their pro bowling skills and taking it way too seriously.

5

u/res06myi 10h ago

Nothing turns off a woman like lying to her.

2

u/RogueTobasco 5h ago

Idk try being fat poor and lame I’ll be honest it’s yet to be beat for turning off women in my experience and I’ve seen lying work like a million times

1

u/res06myi 5h ago

That's three things, you're not fighting fairly.

2

u/m0nkeydluddy 4h ago

Fr you can be honest and even teach others without flexing Jesus Christ

1

u/res06myi 3h ago

😂 it took me a MINUTE to parse this. I was thinking where did it say he was preaching?

1

u/Outside_Trick7928 9h ago

Lying

1

u/Mikimao 5h ago

lol I am gonna have to try this

1

u/sylbug 1h ago

Id be wondering what else he casually lied about

1

u/DenseRequirements 11h ago

That's a guy who has experienced bad dates ans decides to focus on the fun than the game. He was probably experimenting different techniques without pressure or just threw the ball and went back to talking to her.

1

u/Ok_Chipmunk_7066 11h ago

The only time I've ever actively tried hard in a date was with some lass we went Axe throwing last minute and we got paired with another couple.

The other bloke went full alpha and I just couldn't stand him, so I proceed to start trick shotting axes and getting bullseye every time.

Before that I was keeping mine and the girls scores as level as I could to make it fun for everyone.

Crushing your date at a activity isn't fun for everyone.

-2

u/No_Intern_2227 18h ago

Red flag.

3

u/LCSdrd 12h ago

Found the idiot. He tried to goof off and make her laugh. According to you he should have destroyed her with 10 strikes in a row and explain to her how terrible she is at playing? Sounds fun

1

u/Flux_My_Capacitor 28m ago

No. They should have just gone on a date elsewhere.

4

u/Intelligent_Fix_7346 17h ago

How so?

2

u/res06myi 10h ago

Lying is the red flag.

2

u/uk0bach 16h ago

Not the original commenter, but in a relationship you should genuinely be yourself and not try to be someone you think your partner wants you to be.

4

u/wackbirds 16h ago

I'll stop doing that if you want me to...

3

u/Scarecrow116 13h ago

Jesus fuck. letting a girl win on a 1st date is a red flag. Sounds exhausting

-1

u/TheManAcrossTheHall 14h ago

Would they have had any less fun if he'd just been honest and even coached her? Don't be dishonest in how you present yourself on dates.

-1

u/Responsible_Sink3044 12h ago

Yeah they would have

2

u/TheManAcrossTheHall 11h ago

Did you test that with your fun-o-meter or are you just being a smart arse?

0

u/redditaccountnumb1 11h ago

Maybe he's on the wall with all the coaches because he's a special boy

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