WIBTAH — If I Stopped Doing the “New Holiday Tradition”?

[u/FrameComfortable8466]

For the past few Christmases, my husband and I have put together holiday baskets with homemade (and some store bought) goodies for our families. Each household receives a basket…they get mailed all over the country. The costs to make / mail these has grown exponentially over the past few years. For me, the fun and excitement of making thoughtful gifts is no longer there; the project typically is one I mostly handle alone with the exception of the few things my husband contributes. Last year, he griped about how much the shelf-stable additions cost him…an expense he was fine with until I made him pay for them himself.

This year, I don’t want to do them. They’re not fun for me anymore. They are expensive to make and mail. Money is tight with medical expenses and the general cost of life right now. Those are the more “socially acceptable” reasons for backing off this year.

The other reasons are a little more personal…basically, the return on investment is very little. I am a firm believer that it is “the thought that counts.” I always have been. When i say the return is minimal, I mean this: My husband’s family thanks him directly, and I might get an acknowledgment. I am the one who puts in 85%-90% of the effort to build them. In addition to gifts, they receive their baskets. One year, I received a pair of socks, a mug, and some little tchotchke to clean my windshield. I watched everyone else open more useful, practical, and thoughtful items. It was made abundantly clear that I was an afterthought (hubs and I have been together for 10 years). With my family in particular, I don’t even really get a thank you. Hell, half the time no one even tells me they arrived.

Now we have reached the point where these baskets are, well, expected. They are no longer thoughtful gifts…they now come with dietary instructions, preferences, and recommendations for contents. So I ask…WIBTAH if I didn’t make them this year?

[u/tonna33]

My husband does this! "Don't thank me, she's the one that picked it all out and bought it!"

When we would thank our dad for a gift when we were growing up he'd ask "what is it?"

[u/MeatofKings → u/tonna33]

“What is it?!” That’s brilliant. My wife and I both get our adult kids stuff. It’s fun to see what they get, but usually my wife gets them the more boring stuff like shoes and pants.