r/WouldIBeTheAhole • u/FrameComfortable8466 • 11h ago

WIBTAH — If I Stopped Doing the “New Holiday Tradition”?

For the past few Christmases, my husband and I have put together holiday baskets with homemade (and some store bought) goodies for our families. Each household receives a basket…they get mailed all over the country. The costs to make / mail these has grown exponentially over the past few years. For me, the fun and excitement of making thoughtful gifts is no longer there; the project typically is one I mostly handle alone with the exception of the few things my husband contributes. Last year, he griped about how much the shelf-stable additions cost him…an expense he was fine with until I made him pay for them himself.

This year, I don’t want to do them. They’re not fun for me anymore. They are expensive to make and mail. Money is tight with medical expenses and the general cost of life right now. Those are the more “socially acceptable” reasons for backing off this year.

The other reasons are a little more personal…basically, the return on investment is very little. I am a firm believer that it is “the thought that counts.” I always have been. When i say the return is minimal, I mean this: My husband’s family thanks him directly, and I might get an acknowledgment. I am the one who puts in 85%-90% of the effort to build them. In addition to gifts, they receive their baskets. One year, I received a pair of socks, a mug, and some little tchotchke to clean my windshield. I watched everyone else open more useful, practical, and thoughtful items. It was made abundantly clear that I was an afterthought (hubs and I have been together for 10 years). With my family in particular, I don’t even really get a thank you. Hell, half the time no one even tells me they arrived.

Now we have reached the point where these baskets are, well, expected. They are no longer thoughtful gifts…they now come with dietary instructions, preferences, and recommendations for contents. So I ask…WIBTAH if I didn’t make them this year?

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u/Snoo58504 10h ago

I second the new mantra
Mugs for All!

18

u/Fluffy-Discipline668 10h ago

Please, the last thing any household needs is more mugs. Especially those of us who don’t drink coffee. (And I own a beautiful set of 12 floral mugs.)

24

u/ladyrose30 10h ago

My sister and I take photos of mugs that we like or think will appeal to the other person and send those to each other. That way we know we are thinking about the other person without adding another mug to the cupboard.

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u/Salt_My_Watermelon 10h ago

I am constantly sending my daughter screenshots of things with "Enjoy your imaginary gift! Still haven't hit that lottery jackpot."

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u/chickens_for_laughs 6h ago

This is cute!

4

u/CSILalaAnn 9h ago

My bestie and I do this!

7

u/Ocean_ismyheart 9h ago

Al the more reason for this “thoughtful” family. Hell, get the ugliest ones they can find. Oh, and toe socks. Always so comfortable….. :-)

2

u/the_good_twin 8h ago

Thrift store mugs are both cheap *and* ugly!! Win-win!

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u/MathNerd61 10h ago

I think that was the whole point of the suggestion.

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u/DragonTat2 8h ago

We’re not all the same. I could use a special new coffee mug.

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u/Next_Tune_7164 3h ago

Try being a teacher who doesn’t drink coffee. I do drink tea, but rarely make it at home, so all the mugs I’ve gotten over the years are sitting there. I do like my collection though.

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u/Dr_mombie 7h ago

The mugs for all is punishment and punishment is the point.

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u/moon-bouquet 5h ago

How do you feel about fridge magnets?

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u/Fluffy-Discipline668 0m ago

They don’t stick to my fridge since I had the kitchen redone and the sides of the fridge are totally encased in cabinetry. My husband loved them. I never did. I do have four small ones on the front of my dishwasher.

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u/DameofDames 4h ago

Oh, no. My Dad has ALL the mugs from his various trips...enough that the shelves are bending under their weight. And he just..keeps on getting more. Sigh.