r/WouldIBeTheAhole • u/hattyphantom • 11h ago
WIBTA if I left my partner and his circle?
My partner (30M) and I (32F) have been living together in our last apartment for almost a year, but in the past couple of months, l've been finding out things about him that's given me pause.
He is a recovering alcoholic and opioid addict, and many of his friends are also recovering addicts. They're quick to tell me how poorly people view addicts, and give me plenty of praise for being an apparent exception. My partner's family has even gone out of their way to pull me aside and tell me how my presence has made him the happiest he's ever been. They've all but outright said that I'm the one big thing keeping him from breaking his sobriety.
That's the thing, though. The praise felt good at first, but should I really be held responsible for someone else's addiction? Their emotional state? I'm afraid that if I decide to leave, he'll relapse and everyone he knows will hound me for "abandoning" him. This feels like a bunch of red flags waving, but am I just being an asshole?
2
u/Temporary-Leader-602 11h ago
What does he say? His sobriety is his responsibility. Partners/family/froends should be supportive, of course, but the responsibility is on the addict. If he puts that weight on you, that’s a red flag.
5
u/Penya23 11h ago
WTF am I reading?
Dude, are you happy with him? Is this a good relationship?
THAT'S all that matters. He shouldn't be punished for past mistakes. If the relationship ever goes to hell and you break up, his sobriety is on HIM, not you.